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Aug 26, 2015
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[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to know. there has been a lot of talk about this presidential election we're having. it's coming up. people can't stop talking about it. it's real important, you guys. and we are just two weeks away from the first republican debate. just two weeks away, which means we will finally -- we will finally get a chance to hear what donald trump thinks. [ laughter ] no more playing it coy, donald. "i have some things to say about mexicans but not yet." [ laughter ] "you'll have to wait until the debates." [ laughter ] donald trump said this weekend that he is self-financing his campaign and is not beholden to donors and special interests or other nations or his party or the wealthy or middle class, poor people, citizens, voters, humans, plants, or animals. so, he's good. he's his own man. "i'll tell you what i'd do to china." [ laughter ] "but not today." [ laughter ] "i'll see you at the debate." [ laughter ] t
[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to know. there has been a lot of talk about this presidential election we're having. it's coming up. people can't stop talking about it. it's real important, you guys. and we are just two weeks away from the first republican debate. just two weeks away, which means we will finally -- we will finally...
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Aug 18, 2015
08/15
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] glad to hear it. in that case, let's get to the news. the teen choice awards were last night and before you accuse teens of having terrible taste, remember who's still leading the adult's choice awards. [ laughter and applause ] still leading. still comfortably ahead in the adult's choice awards. donald trump's camaign published a full policy paper on immigration yesterday, here is the full text of that paper. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] he wrote it himself. donald trump's new policy paper would not give automatic citizenship to children born in america if they he have foreign parents. said trump, nothing personal, sasha and malia. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] [ trump impression ] "i like you, i do. i think you're top notch. rules are rules. if i make an exception for you, i have to make an exception for everyone." [ laughter ] new jersey governor chris christie said today that hillary clinton's arrogance is breathtaking
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] glad to hear it. in that case, let's get to the news. the teen choice awards were last night and before you accuse teens of having terrible taste, remember who's still leading the adult's choice awards. [ laughter and applause ] still leading. still comfortably ahead in the adult's choice awards. donald trump's camaign published...
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Aug 25, 2015
08/15
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. every day, i get to come out here, and every day, i get to give everybody more news about donald trump, and it's so -- it's reached the point now where the other candidates, the only issue anyone wants to hear their position on is what they're currently thinking a ut donald trump. so they have all this stuff they want to stay about running the country, and i feel like every time another candidate does another interview, ty say, "what do you think about the whole dotald tllrump thing?" [ laughter ] i feel bad for them, but -- i feel good for me. [ laughter ] i'm happy for me, because it is so wonderful and hilarious that donald trump is a -- he's a frontrunner. the f.e.c. today just released his finances, because you have to turn over your finances. fascinating. he has an energy drink in israel. there's a trump branded energy drink in israel. [ light laughter ] it's a real thing. the -- serta mattresses, they pay him
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. every day, i get to come out here, and every day, i get to give everybody more news about donald trump, and it's so -- it's reached the point now where the other candidates, the only issue anyone wants to hear their position on is what they're currently thinking a ut donald trump. so they have all this stuff they...
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Aug 6, 2015
08/15
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and now, here he is, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] so exciting. such an exciting night. tomorrow, i'm so excited about tomorrow night. the first gop debate, are people excited about this? [ cheers and applause ] i cannot wait. this will be the greatest episode of a reality show i feel like i've ever seen, possibly any of us have ever seen. and it's great, because i feel like right now all the candidates are preparing for the debate. and any other year they would be getting drilled on their policy and the kind of questions they could be asked. but i feel like nine of them right now are just saying like, how do you deal with donald trump? [ laughter ] i feel like that's all -- i remember, i went camping once. before we went camping, a park ranger told us what to do if you saw a bear and i feel like [ laughter ] -- they're probably getting right now. it's just, you know, "make a lot of noise. if he sees you, make yourself as [ cheers and applaus
and now, here he is, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] so exciting. such an exciting night. tomorrow, i'm so excited about tomorrow night. the first gop debate, are people excited about this? [ cheers and applause ] i cannot wait. this will be the greatest episode of a reality show i feel like i've ever seen, possibly any of us have ever seen. and...
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Aug 19, 2015
08/15
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ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right. good to hear it. let's get to the news. donald trump said this weekend that while he doesn't think workers should be fired for being gay, he still does not support marriage equality. he believes that marriage should be between a man and a woman and then a younger woman and then an even younger woman. [ laughter and applause ] donald trump told reporters yestery rhat it would very easy to round up all undocumented immigrants. but remember, this is the guy who couldn't even round up real celebrities. [ lauger and applause ] [ trump impression ] they're famous-ish. they're all famous-ish. [ laughter ] preskdential hopeful lindsey graham said this week, that donald trump is, "like the almighty oz because there is nothing behind the curtain." [ light laughter ] and lindsey graham should know because lindsey graham is a member of the lollipop guild. [ laughter ] [ lindsey graham impress
ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right. good to hear it. let's get to the news. donald trump said this weekend that while he doesn't think workers should be fired for being gay, he still does not support marriage equality. he believes that marriage should be between a man and a woman and then a younger woman and then an...
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Aug 20, 2015
08/15
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. very good to hear. let's get to the news. when confronted by reporters yesterday about her ongoing e-mail scandal, hillary clinton had this to say. >> i -- i'm -- i'm not -- you know, i don't -- i have no idea. that's why we turned it over. >> you were in charge of it. you were the official in charge of it. did you wipe the server? >> what like with a cloth or something? [ laughter ] i don't know how it works digitally at all. [ audience ohs ] >> seth: i -- [ laughter ] i mean, i haven't seen hillary awkwardly dance like that since -- well, since earlier this week. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: and by the way -- by the way, hillary, if you're trying to convince people of your innocence, you really picked the wrong outfit. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] so it was a rough outing for hillary. but there is some good news, at least she didn't have the worst e-mail scandal of the week. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] got i
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. very good to hear. let's get to the news. when confronted by reporters yesterday about her ongoing e-mail scandal, hillary clinton had this to say. >> i -- i'm -- i'm not -- you know, i don't -- i have no idea. that's why we turned it over. >> you were in charge of it. you were the official in charge of it. did you...
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Aug 21, 2015
08/15
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ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. let's get to the news. the latest cover of "time" magazine features donald trump with the phrase "deal with it." i can only assume by the look on trump's face that the "it" is a kidney stone. [ cheers and applause ] and by the way "deal with it" is also the full text of donald trump's wedding vows. [ laughter ] donald trump said last night that jeb bush is totally out of touch on women's health issues. which is kind of like jared fogle telling you you're creepy. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] wait, did something happen with jared? [ laughter ] donald trump said in a new interview that he is so popular with voters because he is definitely not a puppet. i'll buy that. puppets have way more realistic hair. [ laughter and applause ] according to a new survey, 17% of adult smart phone owners use auto deleting apps like snap chat and wicker. "yeah, that's what happened," said hillary clinton. [ laughte
ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. let's get to the news. the latest cover of "time" magazine features donald trump with the phrase "deal with it." i can only assume by the look on trump's face that the "it" is a kidney stone. [ cheers and applause ] and by the way "deal with it" is also...
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i'm seth meyers. this iat
i'm seth meyers. this iat
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Aug 26, 2015
08/15
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i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to know.
i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to know.
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Aug 27, 2015
08/15
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] you know, there's a lot of talk about the 2016 presidential election. and there's been a lot of talk about all the republican candidates. hillary clinton, you know, she's also running. you hear less about her, she's not giving a lot of interviews. that's one of the criticisms. she hasn't been giving a lot of interviews because, i think, she's looking out at everyone else who's running for president, and she's thinking, if i keep my mouth shut, i think i've got this thing. [ laughter ] i can't wait for the debates. they'll ask her questions, and she'll be like, i dunno. [ laughter ] she did -- she gave some statements, and hillary clinton revealed today, hillary clinton revealed today she thinks her biggest weakness is her impatience. said the interviewer, "mrs. clinton, i haven't asked you anything yet." [ laughter ] hillary also said today that her greatest strength is her passionate commitment to helping people. for instance, th
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] you know, there's a lot of talk about the 2016 presidential election. and there's been a lot of talk about all the republican candidates. hillary clinton, you know, she's also running. you hear less about her, she's not giving a lot of interviews. that's one of the criticisms. she hasn't been giving a lot of interviews because, i think,...
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Aug 25, 2015
08/15
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear.
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Aug 22, 2015
08/15
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. >> seth: hi, i'm seth meyers. >> and i'm josh meyers. >>st seth: and we love being siblings, but we've always wanted more. today we fix it. >> seth: hey, can we ask you your name real quick? >> chaz. >> seth: chaz, if you had $1,000, what would you spend it on? >> all the candy in the world. [ laughter ] >> seth: all the candy in the world. yeah. what sort of candy would you spend it on? >> um -- gum. >> seth: chaz, where do you see yourself in five years? >> taller. [ laughter ] >> seth: what do you want to be when you grow up, chaz? >> a power ranger. >> seth: a power ranger. >> which i actually am because, um -- i saw this crystal on the bus. >> seth: okay. chaz, i feel like you should have opened with this, but keep going. [ laughter ] >> on my kindergarten bus, and it said "power ranger" on the top. >> seth: wow. can you tell us a joke you heard in school? >> knock, knock. >> seth: who's there? >> pig. >> seth: pig who? >> pig banana jokes. [ laughter ] >> i don't get it. >> i like it. >> seth: hi there. >> hi. >> seth: so nice to m
. >> seth: hi, i'm seth meyers. >> and i'm josh meyers. >>st seth: and we love being siblings, but we've always wanted more. today we fix it. >> seth: hey, can we ask you your name real quick? >> chaz. >> seth: chaz, if you had $1,000, what would you spend it on? >> all the candy in the world. [ laughter ] >> seth: all the candy in the world. yeah. what sort of candy would you spend it on? >> um -- gum. >> seth: chaz, where do you see...
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Aug 18, 2015
08/15
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] glad to hear it. in that case, let's get to the news. the teen choice awards were last night and before you accuse teens of having terrible taste, remember who's still leading the adult's choi
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] glad to hear it. in that case, let's get to the news. the teen choice awards were last night and before you accuse teens of having terrible taste, remember who's still leading the adult's choi
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Aug 13, 2015
08/15
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. let's get to the news. donald trump said in a new interview that he believes his performance in the polls shows that he has not crossed the line of appro
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. let's get to the news. donald trump said in a new interview that he believes his performance in the polls shows that he has not crossed the line of appro
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Aug 20, 2015
08/15
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. very good to hear. let's get to the news. when confronted by reporters yesterday about her ongoing e-mail scandal, hillary clinton had this to say. >> i -- i'm -- i'm not -- you know, i don't -- i have no idea. that's why we turned it over. >> you were in charge of it.
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. very good to hear. let's get to the news. when confronted by reporters yesterday about her ongoing e-mail scandal, hillary clinton had this to say. >> i -- i'm -- i'm not -- you know, i don't -- i have no idea. that's why we turned it over. >> you were in charge of it.
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Aug 21, 2015
08/15
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ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. let's get to the news. the latest cover of "time" magazine features donald trump with the phrase "deal with it." i can only assume by the look on trump's face that the "it" is a kidney stone. [ cheers and applause ]
ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. let's get to the news. the latest cover of "time" magazine features donald trump with the phrase "deal with it." i can only assume by the look on trump's face that the "it" is a kidney stone. [ cheers and applause ]
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Aug 19, 2015
08/15
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i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right. good to hear it. let's get to the news. donald trump said this weekend that while he doesn't think workers should be fired for being gay, he still does not support marriage equality. he believes that marriage should be between a man and a woman and then a younger woman and then an even youngeran
i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right. good to hear it. let's get to the news. donald trump said this weekend that while he doesn't think workers should be fired for being gay, he still does not support marriage equality. he believes that marriage should be between a man and a woman and then a younger woman and then an even youngeran
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Aug 29, 2015
08/15
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stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. buh-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- ice-t and coco -- from "pretty little liars," actress lucy hale -- from "review," actor/comedian andy daly. featuring the 8g band with brad wilk. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, here he is, seth meyers! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evenin
stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. buh-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- ice-t and coco -- from "pretty little liars," actress lucy hale -- from "review," actor/comedian andy daly. featuring the 8g band with brad wilk. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, here...
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Aug 5, 2015
08/15
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>> seth: sir barkington von doggy. >> seth meyers. >> seth: yeah >> okay, i'm going to need to give you a temporary access code. >> seth: okay. >> ready? >> seth: yeah. >> seth: f-a-r-t-s-8-2. >> seth: farts 82? can i have something a little less embarrassing? >> sure, f-a-r-t-s-6-9. >> seth: farts 69? >> look, all you have to do is say it into the computer, sir. you can change it later. >> seth: okay, fine. can i at least get farts 82, then? >> nope, that one's taken now. thanks for using "big safe." >> this call was recorded and at your request, it has been sent to an asian agent. >> seth: no, i didn't request that. >> please say or enter your temporary access code. >> seth: f-a-r-t-s-6-9. >> farts 69? that's what you're going with? >> seth: hey, it was given to me by one of your customer service representatives. i tried to change it, but she said i couldn't. and when i tried to get farts 82 back she says that was gone. and look, i spent a lot of money for this safe. this is very stressful for me. i am trying to finish a monologue, okay? all in all, it's just been a very difficult day
>> seth: sir barkington von doggy. >> seth meyers. >> seth: yeah >> okay, i'm going to need to give you a temporary access code. >> seth: okay. >> ready? >> seth: yeah. >> seth: f-a-r-t-s-8-2. >> seth: farts 82? can i have something a little less embarrassing? >> sure, f-a-r-t-s-6-9. >> seth: farts 69? >> look, all you have to do is say it into the computer, sir. you can change it later. >> seth: okay, fine. can i at...
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Aug 27, 2015
08/15
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this
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Aug 19, 2015
08/15
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i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right. good to hear it. let's get to the news. donald trump said this weekend that while he doesn't think workers should be fired for being gay, he still does not support marriage equality. he believes that marriage should be between a man and a woman and then a younger woman and then an even younger woman. [ laughter and applause ] donald trump told reporters yesterday that it would be very easy to round up all undocumented immigrants. but remember, this is the guy who couldn't even round up real celebrities. [ laughter and applause ] [ trump impression ] they're famous-ish. they're all famous-ish. [ laughter ] presidential hopeful lindsey graham said this week, that donald trump is, "like the almighty oz because there is nothing behind the curtain." [ light laughter ] and lindsey graham should know because lindsey graham is a member of the lollipop guild. [ laughter ] [ lindsey graham impression ] "i'm a member of the lollipop guild. i'm lindsey graham an
i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right. good to hear it. let's get to the news. donald trump said this weekend that while he doesn't think workers should be fired for being gay, he still does not support marriage equality. he believes that marriage should be between a man and a woman and then a younger woman and then an even younger woman. [ laughter and applause ] donald trump told reporters yesterday that it would be...
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Aug 26, 2015
08/15
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i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to know. there has been a lot of talk about this presidential election we're having. it's coming up. people can't stop talking about it. it's real important, you guys. and we are just two weeks away from the first republican debate. just two weeks away, which means we will finally -- we will finally get a chance to hear what donald trump thinks. [ laughter ] no more playing it coy, donald. "i have some things to say about mexicans but not yet." [ laughter ] "you'll have to wait until the debates." [ laughter ] donald trump said this weekend that he is self-financing his campaign and is not beholden to donors and special interests or other nations or his party or the wealthy or middle class, poor people, citizens, voters, humans, plants, or animals. so, he's good. he's his own man. "i'll tell you what i'd do to china." [ laughter ] "but not today." [ laughter ] "i'll see you at the debate." [ laughter ] this was kind of unbelievable, hillary clinton said th
i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to know. there has been a lot of talk about this presidential election we're having. it's coming up. people can't stop talking about it. it's real important, you guys. and we are just two weeks away from the first republican debate. just two weeks away, which means we will finally -- we will finally get a chance to hear what donald trump thinks. [ laughter ] no more playing it coy,...
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Aug 7, 2015
08/15
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers ] all right. good to hear. good to hear. you guys, tonight was the first g.o.p. republican debate. and it's a little weird for me tonight because we taped before it happened. [ light laughter ] so if you're watching this right now you know so much more than i know, and i am so jealous of you. i also am upset because i realize that some of you may have tuned in so excited to hear what we had to say about it. you watched the debate and you said, "i can't wait to watch 'late night.' i'm sure they're gonna have a joke about that moment where chris christie took a swing at donald trump." [ laughter ] and trump like ducked him and took out a switchblade and said, "i'm ready for you, you son of a bitch." [ laughter ] and then all the other nine surrounded trump and it was like a scene like in "kill bill" where they went at uma thurman one at a time and she just dispatched them. i don't have a joke about that because i don't know if that happened. i onl
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers ] all right. good to hear. good to hear. you guys, tonight was the first g.o.p. republican debate. and it's a little weird for me tonight because we taped before it happened. [ light laughter ] so if you're watching this right now you know so much more than i know, and i am so jealous of you. i also am upset because i realize that some of...
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stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- jason segel from "fantastic four" actor michael b. jordan music from big sean featuring the 8g band with brad wilk. ♪ and now, here he is, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, every.
stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- jason segel from "fantastic four" actor michael b. jordan music from big sean featuring the 8g band with brad wilk. ♪ and now, here he is, seth meyers! [ cheers and...
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Aug 20, 2015
08/15
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. very good to hear. let's get to the news. when confronted by reporters yesterday about her ongoing e-mail scandal, hillary clinton had this to say. >> i -- i'm -- i'm not -- you know, i don't -- i have no idea. that's why we turned it over. >> you were in charge of it. you were the official in charge of it. did you wipe the server? >> what like with a cloth or something? [ laughter ] i don't know how it works digitally at all. [ audience ohs ] >> seth: i -- [ laughter ] i mean, i haven't seen hillary awkwardly dance like that since -- well, since earlier this week. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: and by the way -- by the way, hillary, if you're trying to convince people of your innocence, you really picked the wrong outfit. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] so it was a rough outing for hillary. but there is some good news, at least she didn't have the worst e-mail scandal of the week. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] g
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. very good to hear. let's get to the news. when confronted by reporters yesterday about her ongoing e-mail scandal, hillary clinton had this to say. >> i -- i'm -- i'm not -- you know, i don't -- i have no idea. that's why we turned it over. >> you were in charge of it. you were the official in charge of it. did you...
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Aug 21, 2015
08/15
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ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. let's get to the news. the latest cover of "time" magazine features donald trump with the phrase "deal with it." i can only assume by the look on trump's face that the "it" is a kidney stone. [ cheers and applause ] and by the way "deal with it" is also the full text of donald trump's wedding vows. [ laughter ] donald trump said last night that jeb bush is totally out of touch on women's health issues. which is kind of like jared fogle telling you you're creepy. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] wait, did something happen with jared? [ laughter ] donald trump said in a new interview that he is so popular with voters because he is definitely not a puppet. i'll buy that. puppets have way more realistic hair. [ laughter and applause ] according to a new survey, 17% of adult smart phone owners use auto deleting apps like snap chat and wicker. "yeah, that's what happened," said hillary clinton. [ laughte
ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. let's get to the news. the latest cover of "time" magazine features donald trump with the phrase "deal with it." i can only assume by the look on trump's face that the "it" is a kidney stone. [ cheers and applause ] and by the way "deal with it" is...
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Aug 27, 2015
08/15
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] you know, there's a lot of talk about the 2016 presidential election. and there's been a lot of talk about all the republican candidates. hillary clinton, you know, she's also running. you hear less about her, she's not giving a lot of interviews. that's one of the criticisms. she hasn't been giving a lot of interviews because, i think, she's looking out at everyone else who's running for president, and she's thinking, if i keep my mouth shut, i think i've got this thing. [ laughter ] i can't wait for the debates. they'll ask her questions, and she'll be like, i dunno. [ laughter ] she did -- she gave some statements, and hillary clinton revealed today, hillary clinton revealed today she thinks her biggest weakness is her impatience. said the interviewer, "mrs. clinton, i haven't asked you anything yet." [ laughter ] hillary also said today that her greatest strength is her passionate commitment to helping people. for instance, th
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] you know, there's a lot of talk about the 2016 presidential election. and there's been a lot of talk about all the republican candidates. hillary clinton, you know, she's also running. you hear less about her, she's not giving a lot of interviews. that's one of the criticisms. she hasn't been giving a lot of interviews because, i think,...
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Aug 19, 2015
08/15
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yourself, seth meyers. >> seth: thanks. >> no, you did all tina fey's stuff, man. >> seth: i did not. tina fey did all of tina fey's stuff. [ laughter ] every now and then i would transcribe something she said, but that was -- >> it's the hardest thing to do to write. so, yeah. >> seth: and it was full turnover. i think that's the important thing. everybody left and they started it over and that's never happened since then. >> and we were hired by a great lady, jean doumanian. you know, lorne's gal hired us and we went in. but it was like a no-win situation. but jean hired me, hired eddie. we had to work as hard as we possibly can. but it's new york city, man. it's nothing for nothing. and we weren't doing great. and there's no mercy in new york. >> seth: no. it was an institution. >> i felt we were ruining america's favorite television show, you know? >> seth: yeah. >> we weren't being malicious about it. so we'd be walking down the street and people would go, "hey, you're the new guys, from the new 'saturday night live,' right?" we'd go, "yeah." they'd go, "you suck." [ laughter ] i
yourself, seth meyers. >> seth: thanks. >> no, you did all tina fey's stuff, man. >> seth: i did not. tina fey did all of tina fey's stuff. [ laughter ] every now and then i would transcribe something she said, but that was -- >> it's the hardest thing to do to write. so, yeah. >> seth: and it was full turnover. i think that's the important thing. everybody left and they started it over and that's never happened since then. >> and we were hired by a great...