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Mar 22, 2023
03/23
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a number of parks and rec centers offered programs to keep the kids busy and the l.a. zoo was free today for students. which is great. it's what they always say. if you can't send a kid to school, leave them with a gorilla. [ laughter and applause ] you know we do this show for an international audience. the united states, canada, and now because of youtube, we have viewers all over the world. but local news is still of vital importance and so every now and then, we hit the street to bring the news to the people. and we've done it again, in a new edition of "breaking the news." >> here comes the news! the results are in. over 95% of men admit to having cheated on their spouse. my five-second test to learn the truth. four, three, two, one -- oh, buddy, buddy. what did you do? >> niece alert! >> if you die, your cat will eat your face. but what will your dog do to your butt? we talk to dr. paul henready, about his new book, "down, bad dog." >>> queen cover band bohemian crapsody playing three nights at civic auditorium. we meet the band after the break. >> and this -- >>
a number of parks and rec centers offered programs to keep the kids busy and the l.a. zoo was free today for students. which is great. it's what they always say. if you can't send a kid to school, leave them with a gorilla. [ laughter and applause ] you know we do this show for an international audience. the united states, canada, and now because of youtube, we have viewers all over the world. but local news is still of vital importance and so every now and then, we hit the street to bring the...
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Mar 14, 2023
03/23
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so, we hired an l.a. donkey. maybe you noticed the lip fillers and the implants. but to anyone who was upset they didn't get to see the movie bona fide donkey, we're very sorry. i want to apologize on the behalf of the academy. it will nver happen again, i promise you. the big animal mystery from last night was who played cocaine bear? who was the individual dressed as cocaine bear presenting with elizabeth banks, and it turned into an episode of "the masked presenter." people were posting their guesses about who was in the costume." "gary oldman in that bear costume, just absolutely killing it." "that's jessica chastain in the cocaine bear costume fyi." "fun fact, that's timothee chalamet in the cocaine bear suit." well, i have to say wrong, wrong, and wrong. it was none of those people. everyone wants to know who was in the cocaine bear costume. it was a celebrity. that is correct. and that celebrity was -- drumroll -- thank you. dj jazzy jeff! was the cocaine bear. and that's not a lie. that's absolutely true. and i would like everyone to report that, okay? all
so, we hired an l.a. donkey. maybe you noticed the lip fillers and the implants. but to anyone who was upset they didn't get to see the movie bona fide donkey, we're very sorry. i want to apologize on the behalf of the academy. it will nver happen again, i promise you. the big animal mystery from last night was who played cocaine bear? who was the individual dressed as cocaine bear presenting with elizabeth banks, and it turned into an episode of "the masked presenter." people were...
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so when we had our son, trav, we were here in l.a. we live on the east coast, but he had to be born in l.a. because i was finishing up a movie called "tremors." >> jimmy: oh, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> had underground worms. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kind what was a baby is, really, if you think about it. [ laughter ] >> you're right. you're right, and i had some dreams to that effect. [ laughter ] and we didn't know anything, man. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> nothing about raising a kid. we didn't know what we were doing. i mean, when i look at the videos, i felt like we really were children ourselves. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, we were staying at a hotel. it was the chateau marmont here in l.a., which at that time was one of the few hotels that would allow us to bring the dog. we had this giant dog, jane, with us. and we had rented a car. and -- i don't know, i was scattered. i wasn't really thinking. pulled up to the valet at the hotel. jumped out of the car. slammed the door. car's still running. keys in the car. windows up. bab
so when we had our son, trav, we were here in l.a. we live on the east coast, but he had to be born in l.a. because i was finishing up a movie called "tremors." >> jimmy: oh, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> had underground worms. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kind what was a baby is, really, if you think about it. [ laughter ] >> you're right. you're right, and i had some dreams to that effect. [ laughter ] and we didn't know anything, man. >> jimmy: yeah,...
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Mar 18, 2023
03/23
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the "l.a. times" said, "no, that wasn't really jenny, the donkey from 'the banshees of inisherin.'" the "new york post," "'banshees of inisherin,' jenny the donkey oscars cameo was a fraud." [ laughter ] vulture, "jenny the donkey's oscar cameo was all a fraud." i have to say, i think it's true. it wasn't jenny. it wasn't even a female donkey. that donkey's name is dominick. it was a male donkey. we didn't think it was a good idea to fly a donkey over from ireland. [ laughter ] so, we hired an l.a. donkey. maybe you noticed the lip fillers and the implants. [ laughter ] but to anyone who was upset they didn't get to see the bona fide donkey, we're very sorry. i want to apologize on the behalf of the academy. [ laughter ] it will never happen again, i promise you. the big animal mystery from last night was who played cocaine bear? who was the individual dressed as cocaine bear presenting with elizabeth banks, and it turned into an episode of "the masked presenter." people were posting their guesses, like -- "gary oldman in that bear costume, just absolutely killing it." [ laughter ]
the "l.a. times" said, "no, that wasn't really jenny, the donkey from 'the banshees of inisherin.'" the "new york post," "'banshees of inisherin,' jenny the donkey oscars cameo was a fraud." [ laughter ] vulture, "jenny the donkey's oscar cameo was all a fraud." i have to say, i think it's true. it wasn't jenny. it wasn't even a female donkey. that donkey's name is dominick. it was a male donkey. we didn't think it was a good idea to fly a...
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Mar 28, 2023
03/23
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this gorgeous old, i don't know if it's deco but a beautiful l.a. theser. which one? >> the westwood. >> oh yeah. where all the big premiers. >> across from diddy reese. it was like a rock concert. >> dump bring people? >> i brought 60 people. >> like your whole family? >> family friends of family, from off the street, >> so somebody wondering if they're your friend or night and didn't get invited last night, the answer is no? >> thanks, pal. [laughter]. >> yeah, it was a fun night. >> people loved the movie. >> people liked the movie, yeah. and then afterward you go to the party, everybody shaking your hand, you're feeling good you got a hit on and i'm feeling great shaking hands, thank you so much. >> yeah sure. >> and then these two beautiful women come up to me shake my hand and say, the movie was so great, thank you so much. is your father here? >> really? >> my father is on the tv show, going [bleep]. so i end up have to shower. my father takes selfies. this gaggle people that surrounded my father, stole my thunder. >> he did. wait until tuesday. you were very h
this gorgeous old, i don't know if it's deco but a beautiful l.a. theser. which one? >> the westwood. >> oh yeah. where all the big premiers. >> across from diddy reese. it was like a rock concert. >> dump bring people? >> i brought 60 people. >> like your whole family? >> family friends of family, from off the street, >> so somebody wondering if they're your friend or night and didn't get invited last night, the answer is no? >> thanks,...
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Mar 16, 2023
03/23
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so i know that l.a. is a big place where you have to drive. >> jimmy: you don't know how to drive, you've never driven a car? >> i mean, i did, but i crashed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did? you had one try? >> when i'm nervous -- my mom was teaching me how to drive. i was doing pretty well the first five days. i had to make a u-turn. she said, "you're going to crash into the johnny pump." the fire hydrant to nonnew yorkers. >> jimmy: a it's a brooklyn thing. >> i said, no, i'm not. she said, you are. stepped on the gas instead of the brake. >> jimmy: and you hit the johnny pump? >> i hit the johnny pump. >> jimmy: did water shoot up into the sky? >> no, it wasn't that eventful. i did have money to cover my mom's car. that would have been bad. >> jimmy: the johnny pump was on its own, i'm guessing? >> yeah, it didn't get any damage. >> jimmy: are you going to learn now? will you go to one of those services that has the sign on, "student driver"? [ laughter ] that would be funny. >> i actually did that du
so i know that l.a. is a big place where you have to drive. >> jimmy: you don't know how to drive, you've never driven a car? >> i mean, i did, but i crashed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did? you had one try? >> when i'm nervous -- my mom was teaching me how to drive. i was doing pretty well the first five days. i had to make a u-turn. she said, "you're going to crash into the johnny pump." the fire hydrant to nonnew yorkers. >> jimmy: a it's a brooklyn...
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120
Mar 25, 2023
03/23
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[cheers and applause] this is his first time visiting us here in l.a. and i feel like a regional manager is coming for an inspection. [laughter] the guy from hq is here. he is here to tell us about his new documentary, edge: a sort of homecoming, with dave letterman" and to promote his cryptocurrency, jay coyne. this is like if don came to the show. >> guillermo: that is right. >> jimmy: i hope dave brought his galoshes. this is from a busy street in santa cruz. >> we just caught a fish. [laughter] we are going to have dinner tonight. >> jimmy: yeah. street fish, you can beat interception sushi. we are not would be good when it comes to navigating anything really. any scenario you throw at us, we will succumb. this is from an underpass not too far from here in the city of commerce where motors made are always wise decision to gun it. >> this guy is going to go for it. that is not recommended. oh, my gosh! and i'm pretty sure he just got stuck. [laughter] >> jimmy: there he is caught stuck. if only there had been another abandoned car nearby to serve as
[cheers and applause] this is his first time visiting us here in l.a. and i feel like a regional manager is coming for an inspection. [laughter] the guy from hq is here. he is here to tell us about his new documentary, edge: a sort of homecoming, with dave letterman" and to promote his cryptocurrency, jay coyne. this is like if don came to the show. >> guillermo: that is right. >> jimmy: i hope dave brought his galoshes. this is from a busy street in santa cruz. >> we...
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we do know is that a flash flood warning, a waterspout warning, and a blizzard warning in effect for l.a. county. it's the first blizzard warning since 1989. the number one song in the country was "lost in your eyes" by debbie gibson, the last time we had a blizzard warning here. [ laughter and cheers ] and i would like to sing it in its entirety, for you now. [ laughter ] this is what it was like on the treacherous el cajon pass this morning. they got massive amounts of snow there and trucks were -- luckily they were in white, looked good. in big bear, many feet of snow. it even snowed here in hollywood. my kids woke up this morning, looked out the window, and asked, "is that cgi?" [ laughter ] it's very interesting. i have a hard time believing it just happens to be "snowing" the day "cocaine bear" comes out. [ laughter ] feels like marketing, to me. speaking of cocaine bears, today marks the one-year anniversary of vladimir putin's unjustified invasion of ukraine. [ laughter ] the united nations approved a resolution calling for russia to withdraw their troops. that should do it! [ la
we do know is that a flash flood warning, a waterspout warning, and a blizzard warning in effect for l.a. county. it's the first blizzard warning since 1989. the number one song in the country was "lost in your eyes" by debbie gibson, the last time we had a blizzard warning here. [ laughter and cheers ] and i would like to sing it in its entirety, for you now. [ laughter ] this is what it was like on the treacherous el cajon pass this morning. they got massive amounts of snow there...
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Mar 23, 2023
03/23
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KGO
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it it is stage show out in l.a. so he recommended me and i didn't realize when i started the show, he really -- you know, it's his show but adam really ran that whole show. and he would come into work on his -- he would rollerblade to work. isn't that funny, jimmy? rollerblading! and then he would write everything -- he hand writes everything on yellow legal pad and is just the greatest. the award makes it look easy in the whole thing seems -- it's like, you know, it's like nothing. he's got the whole world figured out in a lot of ways. >> it is so true, jimmy. you seem like that whales too. you seem very laid-back. but i was going to say adam does make it look really easy, almost like is not working, but he really works harder than anyone. and when he was at nyu, you know, he was like 17 or 18, all these kids were like going for beers, hanging out. adam would go to the clubs and work on his act and was perfecting his act. he worked harder than anyone and he was famous on campus, he would you stand up in the dorms,
it it is stage show out in l.a. so he recommended me and i didn't realize when i started the show, he really -- you know, it's his show but adam really ran that whole show. and he would come into work on his -- he would rollerblade to work. isn't that funny, jimmy? rollerblading! and then he would write everything -- he hand writes everything on yellow legal pad and is just the greatest. the award makes it look easy in the whole thing seems -- it's like, you know, it's like nothing. he's got...
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Mar 21, 2023
03/23
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my son always takes a walk when he is in l.a. i make a point to have my own. i go all the way to the starbucks. and somebody picks me up. when i get to the studio, it's breakfast time. and then i go to class. i call it class, because i'm learning this whole talk showness. although i will talk your head off. for being in the talk show space, it's a whole new world. >> jimmy: interesting. >> i call it going to class. >> jimmy: you think of it like school. and each meeting is a different subject? >> yeah, well, kind of. first period is the briefing. >> jimmy: okay. >> like we discuss what's going to happen throughout the day, in the day, who i'm going to meet, who i get to jenniferize. >> jimmy: okay. >> after that, breakfast is before that, which breakfast and lunch is back-to-back. and then we do a rehearsal. so the second period right there. >> jimmy: you eat breakfast and then immediately have lunch? >> that's what i said! that's why i need the davy walk because we eating too much. and then having to sit on the couch. i need a little break. when lunch happens
my son always takes a walk when he is in l.a. i make a point to have my own. i go all the way to the starbucks. and somebody picks me up. when i get to the studio, it's breakfast time. and then i go to class. i call it class, because i'm learning this whole talk showness. although i will talk your head off. for being in the talk show space, it's a whole new world. >> jimmy: interesting. >> i call it going to class. >> jimmy: you think of it like school. and each meeting is a...
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101
Mar 15, 2023
03/23
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eye 101
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and -- i'll actually never -- it was, you know, when i first moved to l.a. i was 16 years old. and i started kind of writing 17 and 18 years old.when i was - and i had no money. i was broke. >> jimmy: who did you write gor back then? do you remember? >> i would help judd, i would write -- garry shandling was hosting the emmys and i wrote jokes for garry shandling. >> jimmy: who asked you to do that? >> judd asked me to help out writing jokes. i'd get to be in these rooms with these amazing comedians. one of the first cool experiences i had, i went to judd's birthday party with garry shandling. we went to dinner at the ivy, which is the most expensive restaurant in the known universe. >> jimmy: yeah, it's expensive. >> it's really -- i had no money. and so i didn't want to order anything too expensive because i couldn't pay for it. i remember i ordered a side salad. and everyone else at the dinner is ordering drinks and truffle pasta and all this [ bleep ]. and i'm just like, i'm just going to sit here and eat my side salad. then at the end of the meal, the waiter brings the che
and -- i'll actually never -- it was, you know, when i first moved to l.a. i was 16 years old. and i started kind of writing 17 and 18 years old.when i was - and i had no money. i was broke. >> jimmy: who did you write gor back then? do you remember? >> i would help judd, i would write -- garry shandling was hosting the emmys and i wrote jokes for garry shandling. >> jimmy: who asked you to do that? >> judd asked me to help out writing jokes. i'd get to be in these rooms...
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laughter ] and of course, everybody's complaining about how -- this is a great example of how different l.a. is from other places. the earth itself moves in the middle of the night and we don't even get out of bed, but a tiny bit of snow? we will not leave the house, we're scared. [ laughter ] you okay, guillermo? >> guillermo: it's freaking cold, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when is the last time you saw snow here? >> guillermo: oh, wow. a long time ago. >> jimmy: and he's an actual snowman. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: yeah, long time ago, yeah. >> jimmy: by the way, compared to the rest of the country, we have it very easy. in michigan, hundreds of thousands of homes are without power. there's a huge snow and ice storm there, which came as surprisingly good news to an announcer at a high school basketball game in hamilton, michigan. >> 57-45! hawkeyes take it home. lusk makes his way over to the student section. and lusk calls the snow day! breaking news! lusk just calls a snow day right here at the student section! oh my goodness! whoo! no school for me tomorrow! [ laughter ] [ applause
laughter ] and of course, everybody's complaining about how -- this is a great example of how different l.a. is from other places. the earth itself moves in the middle of the night and we don't even get out of bed, but a tiny bit of snow? we will not leave the house, we're scared. [ laughter ] you okay, guillermo? >> guillermo: it's freaking cold, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when is the last time you saw snow here? >> guillermo: oh, wow. a long time ago. >> jimmy: and...