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Mar 22, 2023
03/23
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and that's when they settled on "we love new york city." now let's move on to a story that's very sad for those of us who love fox news. because it turns out that a producer for tucker carlson is suing the network, saying that the network pressured her to lie in the dominion voting machines lawsuit. and i actually wasn't surprised about this at all, because all the way back, 20 years ago, i wrote a book about fox news called "lies and the lying liars who tell them: a fair and balanced look at the right." and in fact, i wanted to treat you guys tonight, so if you all look under your seats, you'll find directions to a local bookstore where you can buy it for $29.99. okay, let's move on to international news this week. vladimir putin is hosting chinese president xi jingping for a three-day summit in moscow and a lot of people are upset with xi for cozying up to putin after he's become an international pariah. but you know what? i think that that is exactly the time when you really find out who your friends are. we should all be so lucky to hav
and that's when they settled on "we love new york city." now let's move on to a story that's very sad for those of us who love fox news. because it turns out that a producer for tucker carlson is suing the network, saying that the network pressured her to lie in the dominion voting machines lawsuit. and i actually wasn't surprised about this at all, because all the way back, 20 years ago, i wrote a book about fox news called "lies and the lying liars who tell them: a fair and...
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Mar 30, 2023
03/23
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. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, john leguizamo! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> john: yo, yo, yo! what's up! what's up! welcome to "the daily show." leguizamo here in the house! [cheers and applause] it's my third night behind the desk and i've been getting some great feedback so far. i mean, mostly from my mom. so i asked her what she thought of the show last night and she was like, "i'm sorry, i fell asleep after "wheel of fortune. but i'm sure you are great, m mijo." we've got a great show tonight, so let's get into the headlines. [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with some sports. the nfl has announced that it will allow its players to put the number zero on their jerseys next season for the first time ever. meanwhile, the jets announced that they'll put zero on the scoreboard for the 40th season in a row. hey! hey! [applause] seriously, i think this is a great way for football players to celebrate the amount of brain cells they'll have le
. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, john leguizamo! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> john: yo, yo, yo! what's up! what's up! welcome to "the daily show." leguizamo here in the house! [cheers and applause] it's my third night behind the desk and i've been getting some great feedback so far. i mean, mostly from my mom. so i asked her...
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york city. don't go away. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] the champions are coming. [ whistle blows ] what am i looking at here? that's it baby! -buckle up. get ready... -yeah, let's go. to let loose. [ flatulating ] [ chuckling ] that's very funny. ♪♪ -text from: mom. -oh, -good luck on your date. -that's uh- she looks like a keeper. that's embarrassing. does she come from money? hashtag sugar mama. text from: mom. whoa! sfx: [crunch] text from: mom. bride emoji. baby emoji. tostitos® hearty dippers™. oh booking.com, ♪ i'm going to somewhere, anywhere. ♪ ♪ a beach house, a treehouse, ♪ ♪ honestly i don't care ♪ find the perfect vacation rental for you booking.com, booking. yeah. i would totally (bleep) me. but i'd also make myself take prep first. listen up. i prep for my community. i prep for my partner. i prep because it's easy. i prep because i'm easy. who you calling easy? prep is for anyone sexually active. anyone. and i prep with q care plus. q care plus has
york city. don't go away. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] the champions are coming. [ whistle blows ] what am i looking at here? that's it baby! -buckle up. get ready... -yeah, let's go. to let loose. [ flatulating ] [ chuckling ] that's very funny. ♪♪ -text from: mom. -oh, -good luck on your date. -that's uh- she looks like a keeper. that's embarrassing. does she come from money? hashtag sugar mama. text from: mom. whoa! sfx: [crunch] text from: mom. bride emoji. baby emoji....
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Mar 10, 2023
03/23
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. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, marlon wayans! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> marlon: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm marlon wayans. and it's my last night hosting the show. but like i always say: "don't cry because it's over, smile because you was high all week." [cheers and applause] or maybe that was just me. anyway. we've got a great show for you tonight. so, hey, let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] well, sadly, it's my last day hosting "the daily show." and i almost got through the whole week without talking about racist cops. but guess what we're gonna talk about today: racist cops. after the louisville, kentucky, police killed breonna taylor, the justice department launched an investigation into whether the department discriminates against black people. and after two years, guess what they found out. >> the results this morning from the u.s. justice department aren't flattering at all to louisville police. >> the report
. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, marlon wayans! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> marlon: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm marlon wayans. and it's my last night hosting the show. but like i always say: "don't cry because it's over, smile because you was high all week." [cheers and applause] or maybe that was just me....
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Mar 15, 2023
03/23
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♪♪ ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, kal penn! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> kal: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm kal penn. i'm back for night two! now listen, after last night's show, this is very sweet, i got so many encouraging words from some of my political colleagues. and i wanted to read some of them for you. this is an email i got from speaker nancy pelosi. it says, "kal, if you don't donate $5 by tonight, we are all going to die." thank you, nancy, that was so touching. anyway, we've got a great show for you. our guest tonight is the foreign minister of pakistan! but first, let's get into the headlines! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ okay, let's kick things off with a big announcement from president joe biden. you remember during the 2020 campaign, biden said this. >> no more drilling on federal lands. period. period. period. period. >> "period! period! period! comma. because now biden has approved a major oil drilling project on federal land in a
♪♪ ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, kal penn! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> kal: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm kal penn. i'm back for night two! now listen, after last night's show, this is very sweet, i got so many encouraging words from some of my political colleagues. and i wanted to read some of them for you. this is an...
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♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, marlon wayans! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> marlon: oh, welcome to "the daily show!" i'm marlon wayans. yes, i am back for night two. i had no idea they do this shit every single day. know nobody warned me that "the daily show" was actually a daily show. i thought it was just a fun name or something. okay, we've got a great show for you tonight. why? because i'm on it! let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] i was watching fox news last night, because -- because apparently i hate my life. but i learned something. you know how the whole world remembers january 6th as the day a bunch of violent trump fans stormed into the capitol? well, according to fox news, we just got the wrong footage! >> fox news host tucker carlson aired the first clips of the unseen january 6th footage given to him by speaker kevin mccarthy. on his show last night, he said the insurrection was mostly peaceful chaos, adding that the
♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, marlon wayans! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> marlon: oh, welcome to "the daily show!" i'm marlon wayans. yes, i am back for night two. i had no idea they do this shit every single day. know nobody warned me that "the daily show" was actually a daily show. i thought it was just a fun name...
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Mar 29, 2023
03/23
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. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, john leguizamo! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> john: yo, yo, what's up! welcome to "the daily show." i'm john leguizamo. and i'm back for night two as your as your first latino "daily show" host ever. [cheers and applause] yeah, that's right, if you change the channel now, you're a racist, bitch. but we've got a great show for you tonight. so let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] all right. lutz kick things off with donald trump, the former president of the united states and future president of cellblock d. [cheers and applause] yesterday, trump sat down for an interview on fox news with sean man-titties. that's his real name. it sounds like ron desantis. >> ron came to see me, tears in his eyes. he said, "i need you to do me a big favor." "would you endorse me? i fought for you." so, i said: "let's give it a shot, ron, okay?" and he was desperate. i said, okay. i gave him a nice endorsement. i got
. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, john leguizamo! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> john: yo, yo, what's up! welcome to "the daily show." i'm john leguizamo. and i'm back for night two as your as your first latino "daily show" host ever. [cheers and applause] yeah, that's right, if you change the channel now, you're a...
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Mar 29, 2023
03/23
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. >> i don't look a day over 35 but i actually grew up in the '70s in new york city. [cheers and applause] through the culture, i met amazing people like my friend crazy legs, a pioneer of the art form that white people call break dancing and everybody else calls break. crazy licks her dancing at age nine. he was part of the legendary rock steady crew in the early 1980s. he was even a body double. he was instrumental at turning breaking into a worldwide phenomenon. >> crazy! what's up! [cheers and applause] >> john: so look, you are called crazy legs, and i am called johnny legs. is that why we are friends? >> first of all, i would like to, yo, i hear your name. [laughter] you've always been a little competitive. >> john: so how did you get the name crazy legs? >> i would practice after school in the auditorium. and the captain of the cheerleader would be practicing and she would be like, oh, he got some crazy legs. >> john: [laughs] now that you are older, you think you need to change your name from crazy legs to something a little more mature like stable legs? "craz
. >> i don't look a day over 35 but i actually grew up in the '70s in new york city. [cheers and applause] through the culture, i met amazing people like my friend crazy legs, a pioneer of the art form that white people call break dancing and everybody else calls break. crazy licks her dancing at age nine. he was part of the legendary rock steady crew in the early 1980s. he was even a body double. he was instrumental at turning breaking into a worldwide phenomenon. >> crazy! what's...
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>> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, marlon wayans! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> marlon: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm your host, marlon wayans. i know you are asking yourself, how the [bleep] did i become the host? well, they spun the wheel with all the wayans name on it and it landed on me. [cheers and applause] that's right. as you know, my entire family is in the business. we're like the trumps, except my dad doesn't want to [bleep] my sister. [cheers and applause] [laughs] all right, let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] it was a great weekend for comedy specials. i know my brother chris rock had his thing. and i also had a new special come out. [cheers and applause] "god loves me," available right now on hbomax! brothas, you can't bootleg streaming. but you can share passwords! ha! but let's be real, the funniest comedy special last weekend was the cpac! or as i like to call it, crazy white people. if you don't know about it, it
>> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, marlon wayans! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> marlon: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm your host, marlon wayans. i know you are asking yourself, how the [bleep] did i become the host? well, they spun the wheel with all the wayans name on it and it landed on me. [cheers and applause] that's right. as you...
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Mar 21, 2023
03/23
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. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, al franken! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> al: welcome! welcome! thank you! [cheers and applause] welcome! welcome to "the daily show." i'm your host for the week, al franken. [cheers and applause] i'm the ninth guest host so far, and the first white male guest host. feel free to applaud. [cheers and applause] we've got a great show for you tonight. my friend senator lindsey graham is joining me. [applause] yeah. so let's get into the headlines. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] you know, last week, i was thinking, there is not going to be much news when i host. but oh, boy, it is going to be an exciting week. >> if former president trump is correct, we are on the verge of something unprecedented in american history. a former u.s. president arraigned before a judge facing criminal charges. >> over the weekend, trump claimed he will be arrested tomorrow, indicted by manhattan district attorney alvin bragg, for charges related
. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, al franken! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> al: welcome! welcome! thank you! [cheers and applause] welcome! welcome to "the daily show." i'm your host for the week, al franken. [cheers and applause] i'm the ninth guest host so far, and the first white male guest host. feel free to applaud. [cheers...
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captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, hasan minhaj! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> hasan: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm your host, hasan minhaj! nice to see you! yes! by the way, listen, it is night three for me behind the desk, and i got to say, it's been so great this week catching up with old friends and also, ronny chieng. but we've got a great show for you tonight, so let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's start off with mcdonald's. the only thing that's invaded more countries than america. >> some mcdonald's franchisees are pushing back against an ad campaign called famous orders, which lets famous people like cardi b create new menu items. some restaurant owners worry the cardi b promotion is not compatible with their decades long history as a family friendly restaurant. one franchisee in san jose he was participating said, the fact that we can't talk about the song we are objecting to, beca
captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, hasan minhaj! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> hasan: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm your host, hasan minhaj! nice to see you! yes! by the way, listen, it is night three for me behind the desk, and i got to say, it's been so great this week catching up...
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Mar 24, 2023
03/23
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." ♪ ♪ >> from new york city, the only city in america! it's the show that invented news! this is "the daily show" with your host al franken! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> al: welcome! welcome! welcome! welcome! welcome to the dash welcome to "the daily show," i'm al franken and tonight is my last night hosting "the daily show." and i just want to say it's been an honor... for everyone here to get to work with me. [laughter] but we've got a great show for you tonight, so let's get into the headlines. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ okay, let's kick things off with a big story on capitol hill today. there was a major hearing that could determine the future of tiktok. of viggo a rare display of bipartisanship today for the growing of tiktok ceo on capitol hill. the executive of the controversial and incredibly popular app facing some tough questions about child safety, data collection, and its chinese ownership. the chair of the committee today says that tiktok should be banned. >> we do not trust tiktok will ever embrace american values. values for freedom, human rights, a
." ♪ ♪ >> from new york city, the only city in america! it's the show that invented news! this is "the daily show" with your host al franken! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> al: welcome! welcome! welcome! welcome! welcome to the dash welcome to "the daily show," i'm al franken and tonight is my last night hosting "the daily show." and i just want to say it's been an honor... for everyone here to get to work with me. [laughter] but we've got a...
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. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, marlon wayans! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> marlon: hey! welcome to "the daily show!" i'm marlon wayans. and this is my third night hosting the show! [cheers and applause] which means they haven't canceled us yet. but hey, we got one more night. let's get it! so let's go into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] this is "the daily show," so let's talk about fox news. they are dealing with a big lawsuit right now and because of it come a bunch of fox news hosts had to give up all of their texts. so we've been finding out what they really think about donald trump. and it's hilarious. >> according to court documents, host tucker carlson texted a producer on january 4th, 2021: "we are very, very close to being able to ignore trump most nights." referring to trump, carlson said, "i hate him passionately. i can't handle much more of this." >> carlson added, "we're all pretending we've got a lot to show for it, becaus
. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, marlon wayans! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> marlon: hey! welcome to "the daily show!" i'm marlon wayans. and this is my third night hosting the show! [cheers and applause] which means they haven't canceled us yet. but hey, we got one more night. let's get it! so let's go into the headlines! ♪...
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captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.comossibl ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, hasan minhaj! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> hasan: thank you! welcome to "the daily show!" i'm hasan minhaj! and it's my last night as guest host! it's over! settle in! settle in! it's my last night as guest host! it's over! i stripped the bed and i left the sheets on the washer and dryer! now give me back my deposit, comedy central! but first, we got a show to do. so let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] now as i said, this is my last night here, but as an indian and an american, i can't leave without shitting on the united kingdom. so let's talk about the latest drama in the royal family. because apparently, prince andrew is pissed that his brother, king charles, is trying to move him out of his 30-room mansion and into the tiny ten-room frogmore cottage. [audience reacts] first of all, i get why he's upset -- that's barely enough space for a teenage sex
captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.comossibl ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, hasan minhaj! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> hasan: thank you! welcome to "the daily show!" i'm hasan minhaj! and it's my last night as guest host! it's over! settle in! settle in! it's my last night as guest host! it's over! i stripped the bed and i...
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. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, hasan minhaj! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> hasan: hey, everybody! i'm hasan minhaj! and i'm on day two of hosting "the daily show!" i am back, baby! [cheers and applause] settled in, in. listen, it's days like today that i remember what my old boss jon stewart used to say to me: "hasan, please stop name-dropping me when you tell stories." miss you, j-stew. we've got a lot to talk about tonight, so let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with tiktok, it's the app that's taught me how to make spaghetti in a washing machine, but it also gave me adult adhd. look at my pen. isn't this cool? focus, focus. but if you work for the government, your tiktok days are numbered. because the white house just announced that federal agencies have 30 days to the to delete tiktok from all government phones. [boos] that's right. president joseph r boehner keller thinks that china could spy on us but t
. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, hasan minhaj! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> hasan: hey, everybody! i'm hasan minhaj! and i'm on day two of hosting "the daily show!" i am back, baby! [cheers and applause] settled in, in. listen, it's days like today that i remember what my old boss jon stewart used to say to me: "hasan,...
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Mar 31, 2023
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york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, john leguizamo! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> john: yo, yo, what's up! welcome to "the daily show." i'm john leguizamo. and, yo, it's my last day here, oh, yeah. it's been amazing man. i've just been having fun, goofin', speaking out on topics i care about. there's no amount of money that could match this feeling. but if you're feeling generous... [shakes jar] and i also take venmo. all right, we've got a great show for you tonight. so let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] all right, we've had such a heavy week of news, so i thought we would wrap up some things this week with some lighthearted news that is really going to put a smile on your face. >> we are interrupting this package right now because we have some breaking news and it is historic news out of lower manhattan right now, a federal jury, a grand jury has voted to indict former president trump, the first time ever a former president has
york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, john leguizamo! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> john: yo, yo, what's up! welcome to "the daily show." i'm john leguizamo. and, yo, it's my last day here, oh, yeah. it's been amazing man. i've just been having fun, goofin', speaking out on topics i care about. there's no amount of money that could match this feeling. but if you're...
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Mar 23, 2023
03/23
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. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, al franken! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> al: welcome to "the daily show." i'm al franken. it's day three of my time at the show. and it's also day three of the trump indictment watch. now, nothing has happened so far today, but let me be clear about something. i only have one more day this week behind his desk. and if some other host gets this one, i'm gonna be so pissed. so come on, alvin bragg, tomorrow. [cheers and applause] but whatever, let's get into today's [bleep] headlines. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] okay, let's kick things off with my home state of minnesota, which just became the fourth state in the union to guarantee free school lunch to every single child! [cheers and applause] yes, yes. that's a pretty good, feel-good story in minnesota, right? well, one republican state senator didn't think so. >> mr. president, i have yet to meet a person in minnesota that is hungry. yet, to date, i have yet to meet
. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, al franken! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> al: welcome to "the daily show." i'm al franken. it's day three of my time at the show. and it's also day three of the trump indictment watch. now, nothing has happened so far today, but let me be clear about something. i only have one more day this week...
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Mar 14, 2023
03/23
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york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, kal penn! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> kal: welcome to "the daily show!" my name is kal penn, and i will be your host this week! you might know me from my work as an actor, or my work with president barack obama. [cheers and applause] yeah, i plan on dropping his name all week. anyway, we've got a great show for you tonight, including a very special interview with president joe biden! [cheers and applause] he is a man who i know well from my time working for barack obama. but first, let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] of course, last night was the academy awards. and #oscarssoasian. [cheers and applause] that's right! that's right! it was an incredible night for the asian american community. so many asian artists won and thanked their parents which was so nice. although, honestly, if their parents or anything like mine, they were probably just like, "okay." let's move on from movies to music and
york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, kal penn! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> kal: welcome to "the daily show!" my name is kal penn, and i will be your host this week! you might know me from my work as an actor, or my work with president barack obama. [cheers and applause] yeah, i plan on dropping his name all week. anyway, we've got a great show for you tonight,...
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Mar 28, 2023
03/23
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[crying] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, john leguizamo! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> john: whatsapp! welcome to the daily show!" i'm john leguizamo, and as a new yorker and a big fan of this show, hosting this week to help kick to be hosting during hispanic heritage month! [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] that was not hispanic heritage month here for that is in september. that is a test, yell! oh, my gosh, i have a lot to teach you this week. we've got a great show for you all tonight so let's get into the headlines. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ okay. let's kick things off with donald trump. [boos] that's right. the man so bad at sex, he pays people not to talk about it. yep. we're still all waiting for the cops to arrest him for lying about his affair with a porn star, but until then, he's continuing his presidential campaign, and staying focused on the important issues: like lying about his affair with a porn star. >> former president tru
[crying] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, john leguizamo! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> john: whatsapp! welcome to the daily show!" i'm john leguizamo, and as a new yorker and a big fan of this show, hosting this week to help kick to be hosting during hispanic heritage month! [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] that was not...
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Mar 16, 2023
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[both snickering] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, kal penn! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> kal: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm kal penn. this is my third night, and this job is way better than when i worked at the white house. i can eat candy for lunch without michelle obama judging me for it. anyway, we've got a great show for you tonight. my guest is "vanity fair" editor radhika jones. [cheers and applause] yeah, she's wonderful. but there's a lot to talk about, so let's get into headlines! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ let's kick things off with a big update on artificial intelligence. if you are one of those people who is worried that ai is getting too smart to fast, you might want to tell alexis to turn your tv off. >> artificial artificial intelt got more real. >> artificial intelligence taking a dizzying leap forward. openai the company behind chatgpt, which came on the scene just four months ago, out with its latest innovation, gpt4. >> it can s
[both snickering] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, kal penn! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> kal: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm kal penn. this is my third night, and this job is way better than when i worked at the white house. i can eat candy for lunch without michelle obama judging me for it. anyway, we've got a great show for...
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i grew up in the projects in new york city and there were 10 of us wayans kids. but thank god we had an after-school program for us to go to. it exposed us to the arts. imagine if all of that energy and work ethic was directed toward slinging drugs instead. i'm not saying there would be a wayans cartel. but we would've got a lot of [bleep] high. [cheers and applause] listen, changed our lives, not just for our family, but for a lot of kids in the after-school programs, they did well. but for those who stay on the streets, not so much. see, it makes all the difference to be in a place that keeps you busy, keeps you fed, and keeps you protected. even for the bullies, all the bullies who say, "3:00, i'm going to kick your ass," you are like, so what, i am here until 6:00." [cheers and applause] [laughs] the bully has to join the drama program just to find you. "i'm gonna kick your ass after rehearsal, marlon. but first, read lines with me." let's read this sonnet from "hamlet." so, long story short, we need to make funding after-school programs a national priority.
i grew up in the projects in new york city and there were 10 of us wayans kids. but thank god we had an after-school program for us to go to. it exposed us to the arts. imagine if all of that energy and work ethic was directed toward slinging drugs instead. i'm not saying there would be a wayans cartel. but we would've got a lot of [bleep] high. [cheers and applause] listen, changed our lives, not just for our family, but for a lot of kids in the after-school programs, they did well. but for...
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Mar 17, 2023
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. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, kal penn! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> kal: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm kal penn. and i have had so much fun! i wish i could stay forever. honestly, like, now i understand why trump refused to leave the white house. what do you think? should we do an insurrection? just say forever? [cheers and applause] i was joking. you guys are messed up. i love it! all right, we've got a great show for you tonight. chasten buttigieg is here, everyone! we have a lot to talk about. so let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's begin with some breaking news from the vatican. no, not about you. you are still going to hell. but there is some good news for priests. >> pope francis says the catholic church's thousand year-old practice of celibacy for priests could be changed. he tells an argentine publication the ban on priests having sex was only temporary and that there is no contradiction for a priest to marry. >
. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, kal penn! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> kal: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm kal penn. and i have had so much fun! i wish i could stay forever. honestly, like, now i understand why trump refused to leave the white house. what do you think? should we do an insurrection? just say forever? [cheers...