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Oct 25, 2014
10/14
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KNTV
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diet coke and coke classic. though drinking it too much could lead to type 1 1/2 diabetes. [ laughter and applause ] so, it could be worse. this is not great. some scary news -- a man is being held in isolation in hawaii under fears that he may have ebola. and of course in hawaii, ebola also means "good-bye." [ laughter and applause ] [ laughter ] not sure -- not sure what to think about this -- a new policy from the american academy of pediatrics advises using implanted birth control over the pill for teenagers. you know, i had implanted birth control when i was a teen. they were called braces. [ cheers ] and they worked great. they worked great. [ laughter and applause ] any "real housewives" fans here? [ cheers ] i'm so sorry for you. [ laughter ] well, the husband of one of the real housewives of new jersey has been sentenced to 41 months in prison, 41 months in prison. he says he's disappointed in the judge's decision, but 41 months away from his wife is still better than nothing. [ laughter and applause ]
diet coke and coke classic. though drinking it too much could lead to type 1 1/2 diabetes. [ laughter and applause ] so, it could be worse. this is not great. some scary news -- a man is being held in isolation in hawaii under fears that he may have ebola. and of course in hawaii, ebola also means "good-bye." [ laughter and applause ] [ laughter ] not sure -- not sure what to think about this -- a new policy from the american academy of pediatrics advises using implanted birth control...
124
124
Oct 8, 2014
10/14
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WCAU
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eye 124
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jack and coke! jack and coke! should we get -- can we get a round of jack and coke?" you can't do this on an airplane. [ light laughter ] don't ever -- don't ever do this on an airplane. [ applause ] so i'm very excited about that. this coming saturday. and i'm very, very excited for tonight. we have an excellent show for you guys. from the new show "transparent," jeffrey tambor is here. [ cheers and applause ] it is a great show and i cannot wait to talk to him about it. also joining us, one of the stars of "parks and recreation" and very funny comedienne, retta will be with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] love retta. and we will be talking to the stars and creators of the hit trutv show, "impractical jokers" which will be a delight, as well. [ cheers and applause ] now, some good news, bad news. bad news, fred is not with us tonight. the good news, fred's going to be back next week. we're so excited to finally have fred back. he's been working on "portlandia." he's been in portland and we've come up with a way to keep fred involved while he's gone in a segment w
jack and coke! jack and coke! should we get -- can we get a round of jack and coke?" you can't do this on an airplane. [ light laughter ] don't ever -- don't ever do this on an airplane. [ applause ] so i'm very excited about that. this coming saturday. and i'm very, very excited for tonight. we have an excellent show for you guys. from the new show "transparent," jeffrey tambor is here. [ cheers and applause ] it is a great show and i cannot wait to talk to him about it. also...
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160
Oct 16, 2014
10/14
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WCAU
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i would not mix coke and gambling. [ light laughter ] so, you know, i would always bet on something i didn't know anything about. what happened was i said to the directv people, i said, "we want to get you in because we want to promote the show you're on." i said, "i'm only going in if i quarterback." so i had to replace joe montana. [ light laughter ] so they stopped the game, they brought me out and i replaced joe montana. it was the greatest thing in the world. the first pass i threw, i hit terrell owens over the middle, and thought it was going to be a touchdown. and then, the idiot, he gets caught at the 5 yard line. it was flag football, by deion sanders. >> seth: yeah. all right, one of the best. >> right, right. okay. so now i got to throw another pass. and i'm very inconsistent in everything i do in life. i drop back, i throw another pass into the end zone, and it's intercepted by snoop doggy dogg. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's not great. >> snoop dogg intercepted it. they told us don't be rated r on the show, because kids watch. >> seth: right. >> 5-year-old kids watch. >> se
i would not mix coke and gambling. [ light laughter ] so, you know, i would always bet on something i didn't know anything about. what happened was i said to the directv people, i said, "we want to get you in because we want to promote the show you're on." i said, "i'm only going in if i quarterback." so i had to replace joe montana. [ light laughter ] so they stopped the game, they brought me out and i replaced joe montana. it was the greatest thing in the world. the first...
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58
Oct 30, 2014
10/14
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KNTV
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eye 58
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. >> they remember leo dicaprio snorting coke from a hooker's bottom. which martin scorsese wanted to put in any movie he's ever made. [ laughter ] that had nothing to do with wall street. it was like a fantasy that martin scorsese and he happened to find a place where would find it plausible. >> seth: well, that says a lot about wall street. i have to ask because the world's game seven is tonight. "moneyball", just an incredible book about baseball. i can't wait for the 25th anniversary so it'll come out again. [ laughter ] >> right. >> seth: the oakland a's -- >> and it will. >> seth: it will. oh, no. look, it's a pattern. >> we'll be primetime then. >> seth: exactly. the oakland a's are playing the kansas city royals in a one game playoff. basically the wild card game to make it in the playoffs. they're leading, and then they lose in the same fashion, and now kansas city royals are playing for the world series. do you still feel deeply connected to the a's after writing that book? do you feel badly for billy beane? >> i feel so connected to the a's t
. >> they remember leo dicaprio snorting coke from a hooker's bottom. which martin scorsese wanted to put in any movie he's ever made. [ laughter ] that had nothing to do with wall street. it was like a fantasy that martin scorsese and he happened to find a place where would find it plausible. >> seth: well, that says a lot about wall street. i have to ask because the world's game seven is tonight. "moneyball", just an incredible book about baseball. i can't wait for the...
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79
Oct 17, 2014
10/14
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WCAU
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eye 79
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you're like someone started to make coke and gave up half way through. and who are you targeting? people who like water but wish it hurt a little more? [ laughter ] you're so boring, you're like the vanilla of ice creams, the c-span of tv channels, the louis of one direction. don't act like you're not the boring one, louis. ♪ oh, oh, oh you don't know you're burnt ♪ [ applause ] up next, new york city. a recent report said that your rat problem is out of control, and i agree. have you been on the subway recently? i saw one rat give up its seat for another rat who was pregnant. [ laughter ] also, mayor de blasio, i know you've got your hands full trying to get those horse-drawn carriages off the streets, but i've got bad news for you, that's not a horse, it's a thousand rats in a horse costume. [ laughter ] start spreading the news, you're burnt! pope francis. you're the head of a super-conservative religion and yet somehow you seem like a real chill bro. you're down with women, you're down with gays, you even took a selfie. you're like that cool high school teacher who lets al
you're like someone started to make coke and gave up half way through. and who are you targeting? people who like water but wish it hurt a little more? [ laughter ] you're so boring, you're like the vanilla of ice creams, the c-span of tv channels, the louis of one direction. don't act like you're not the boring one, louis. ♪ oh, oh, oh you don't know you're burnt ♪ [ applause ] up next, new york city. a recent report said that your rat problem is out of control, and i agree. have you been...
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72
Oct 2, 2014
10/14
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KNTV
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eye 72
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. >> if you'd rather stick to, you know, lines of coke off a stripper's ass in "harold and kumar," you can go to page four. [ laughter ] and there's magic tricks and drink recipes and secret pages. >> seth: you go to a party with katy perry. that's great. >> party with katy perry, that actually happened. yeah, the super bowl and peyton manning's house. >> seth: that is the greatest -- >> at a katy perry concert and there's peyton manning. "hey, hey, neil, how are you? i'm having a party over at my house later tonight if you want to come by. here's my cell phone number." "well, thanks, peyton manning." [ laughter ] so, then we meet katy perry and she's like, "what are you doing later?" "oh, we're going to peyton manning's house." [ laughter ] we're big wigs. and she goes, "oh, maybe i'll show up." that's fantastic, that would be fun. so, we go to peyton manning's house -- >> seth: do you text and you're like, "hey, peyton, weird question -- katy wants to come. that cool?" [ laughter ] or do you just bring her? do you feel like that's okay? >> i did exactly that. [ laughter ] and it was
. >> if you'd rather stick to, you know, lines of coke off a stripper's ass in "harold and kumar," you can go to page four. [ laughter ] and there's magic tricks and drink recipes and secret pages. >> seth: you go to a party with katy perry. that's great. >> party with katy perry, that actually happened. yeah, the super bowl and peyton manning's house. >> seth: that is the greatest -- >> at a katy perry concert and there's peyton manning. "hey, hey,...