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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  August 21, 2015 12:37am-1:37am EDT

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anniversary today by eating cake saved from their actual wedding day. services will be held saturday. [ laughter ] a florida woman has sent a formal complaint to taco bell corporate headquarters after she found a fake fingernail in an order of nachos. gross! imagine finding a fake fingernail in your fake mexican food. [ laughter ] a man was arrested at denver international airport yesterday for running onto the tarmac to try and stop a plane after he missed his flight on the way to his high school reunion. he was heard screaming after the plane, "but i lost all the weight!" [ laughter ] "they need to see, i lost the weight. i'm not fat frank any more!" now we made a lot of jokes about donald trump. but as we all know he has taken the political world by storm. i think it's fair to say he's achieved his front runner status by running a largely
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unconventional campaign. take for example the town hall meeting trump held last night in derry, new hampshire. the whole thing was unconventional including his entrance. >> donald j. trump! [ laughter ] >> seth: right after his speech, the flag filed a report. [ laughter ] . so we got ourselves asking, where did he pick up all these unconventional campaign strategies? after all, he has no political experience. so we went back , we looked at some tapes, and we think we found it. >> perhaps, indeed, yes. the donald is here, live on monday night raw. >> he's still here. >> seth: that's right, donald trump played a pivotal role in the lead to wrestlemania 23 in 2007. this brings us to tonight's edition of, "what donald trump learned from wrestling."
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[ cheers ] now, as we know, trump isn't afraid of a fight. take for example how he talked about democratic presidential nominee bernie sanders after protesters interrupted a sanders rally. >> i would never give up my microphone. i thought that was disgusting. that showed such weakness. that will never happen with me. i don't know if i'll do the fighting myself or if other people will. >> seth: so i bet you're asking, "where did he learn that aggressive tactic?" well, here he is, the man who is currently the republican front runner and could possibly be the leader of the free world at wrestlemania. >> and look at this! donald trump! donald trump! oh my god! >> a hostile takeover by donald trump! >> seth: that was tonight's edition of "what donald trump learned from wrestling." ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ]
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great to see you guys, everybody. we've had him here all week on drums, from the great band smashing pumpkins, the amazing jimmy chamberlin has been here. thank you, so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you so much for having me. >> seth: such an honor. please come back soon. we mentioned that we had our 250th show last night, everybody. very excited about that, thank you. [ cheers ] and last week we made a change on the show, instead of doing a monologue standing up, we started the show from the desk. it's a change we like, we're going to keep doing, and a lot of people asked me why we made the change and the main reason is early on during the show, something happened during the monologue that, if i'm being perfectly honest, traumatized me and i've never fully been able to bounce back from. let's take a look. [ cheers ] when fancy scientists -- [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness.
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i just could never forget that. [ laughter ] so i wanted to make a move so that there would be no way i'd ever make this face on television again. [ laughter ] but we'd also like your feedback. so if you like the change to the desk, tweet yes to @latenightseth and @barackobama. [ laughter ] if you don't like the change, tweet "is that really your last name?" to @chefboyardee. [ light laughter ] you guys, we have a great show for you tonight. from the new film "dirty weekend" matthew broderick is here. [ cheers and applause ] we talked about wrestling earlier, we have one of the all time greats, wwe u.s. champion, john cena is in the house tonight. [ cheers ] also, one of the stars of the very funny film "train wreck." so i'm so excited it talk to him. also, these are four of my favorite guys on earth. they're the cast of trutv's "impractical jokers." they're back on the show. [ cheers ] they have their 100th show coming up.
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so we're going to talk to them about that. now, before we move on, it's the end of the summer. it's on the horizon. and with change i can't help but wonder if -- wait, i'm sorry. i could be wrong here. but i think i smell something burning. that could mean only one thing, it's time for "ya burnt!" [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the burn zone. we got a lot of topics to sizzle through but not a lot of time. over here is the burner, l 's turn on the gas and load her up. [ light laughter ] first up, "sesame street." hey, "sesame street," you were originally created to give a leg up to lower income kids but now you've signed a deal to air new episodes on premium pay channel hbo nine months before they air for free on pbs. what gives? supposed to be "sesame street" not the "gated community sesame terrace." [ laughter ] you were supposed to be educational entertainment for
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children of all walks of life, not just something a connecticut soccer mom puts on to baby sit hunter while she downs her mid morning chardonnay. [ laughter ] i can't way to see oscar the grouch's new home in the recycling bin outside the whole foods. [ laughter ] and it seems like a strange fit for to you air on the same network as "game of thrones." "elmo no want to go to red wedding." [ laughter ] hey, sesame street, this has been brought to you by the letters y and b, ya burnt! [ cheers and applause ] jury duty. the punishment you get for opening your mail. though there's nothing quite as rewarding as being called on to perform your civic duty as an american, and then weaseling your way out of it. [ laughter ] but it's harder than it looks. everyone says the best way it get out of jury duty is say you're racist. have you seen our prisons lately? i'm pretty sure some racists are still getting on juries. in fact, racists love jury duty. "your honor, we've reached a verdict." "we haven't even started yet." jury duty, raise your right hand and repeat after me, ya burnt.
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[ cheers and applause ] holograms. just what people want to see at a summer festival when they are high on experimental hallucinogens. the ghost of michael jackson. [ laughter ] also, wasn't michael jackson already the ghost of michael jackson? and now they're planning to use holograms to put on shows featuring ray charles, jim morrison, and this is real, mariah carey. mariah carey. she's not even dead. [ laughter ] she'll only wish she were dead when she finds out they are making her into a hologram. you really want to make hologram te nology useful, find a way to make a hologram of me so i don't have to go to jury duty. we >> double burn, jury duty. >> seth: hey holograms, i see right through you, and ya burnt. next up, brody dill, the 4-year-old kid who got hit in the head by a football thrown by presidential candidate marco rubio. let's take a look. [ audience ohs ] you could have run home crying to your mommy about it but instead you took it like a champ.
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>> hey, rubio, when you get back to iowa, i'll be ready for you, rubio. [ laughter ] >> seth: you reminded us that nice things that could happen in politics, and that's why you're this week's unburnable. ascend to safety. but also, learn how to [ bleep ] catch. [ applause ] beanbag chairs, the quicksand of furniture. let's get one thing straight. you're not a chair. you shouldn't have to swim your way out of chair. chairs have four legs and allow you to leave at the time of your choosing. what's that you say? i shouldn't complain about beanbag chairs because they're for childr!n and ot adults? that's true. but the problem is i sat in one when i was eight and didn't get out until i was 26. [ laughter ] but kudos to the 1980s marketing genius who managed to convince society these things were a good idea. "an old garbage bag, filled with packing peanuts, and only for $40? sign me up." hey beanbag chairs, i hope you're sitting down for this, because ya burnt. [ cheers ] water parks, a perfect get way for someone who thinks, "i like
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fun, but could there be more bacteria?" [ laughter ] seeing everyone without their shirts on proves the river isn't the only thing that's lazy. although you gotta admit those 15 seconds you spent on slide arg really worth that half hour you spent waiting in line in the hot sun. also water parks, let's call you what you really are -- urine reservoirs. you're like if r. kelly rented out sea world. side burn r. kelly. >> i never believed could you fly. [ laughter ] >> seth: hey water park, splish splash ya burnt. pennies, you worthless pieces of [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] oh, i think i have money in my pocket. i was wrong. only a hundredth of a dollar. why do we still have you? true story, it cost more to manufacture a penny, than what a penny is worth. specifically, it costs 1.7 cents to make a one cent. you literally don't make sense. [ laughter ] being on the penny was the worst thing that ever happened to abraham lincoln, and remember, his wife was mary todd.
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[ light laughter ] [ applause ] i didn't realize the mary todd appreciation society was in the house tonight. hey pennies, here's my two cents, ya burnt! up next, animals who learn sign language. [ buzz ] uh-oh, that buzzer means we've run out of time. looks like you dummies will have to learn how to say, "thank you, seth." this has been, "ya burnt." sit tight. we'll be right back with "late night." [ cheers and applause ] it's a golden opportunity to discover the luxury of freedom. to venture further. to experience more. to make a routine of breaking with routine. come in to the lexus
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our first guest is a tony award-winning actor who's starred in f ms like "election" and "ferris bueller's day off." starting october 2nd you can see him in the first broadway production of the play " lvia." and his latest movie "dirty weekend," opens in select theaters on friday, september 4th. let's take a look. >> man, i don't believe this. >> we have to take the greyhound. i called and booked us rooms into the airport hotel so we can relax, possibly. and also we have to wait here at the gate 'cause i know -- you don't feel well. you know, it'll be all right. seriously. >> says you. >> yeah.
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we will though, i promise. >> that doesn't count. you english are perpetually optimistic. even in places like waterloo. >> we thn at waterloo. >> you knod what i mean. >> seth: please welcome back to the show matthew broderick. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back. >> hi, thank you. >> seth: so happy to have you here. [ cheers and applause ] >> hanks a lot. hi, everybody. >> seth: so i know you've done a lot of theater. this film -- you and the actress alice eve, who was in the clip -- this film is mostly dialogue between the two of you. you have to do a lot of heavy lifting. >> yes. >> seth: so much dialogue. was it -- even with your sort of on-stage experience, was it hard to memorize all that material? >> yes, it was very hard. >> seth: okay, good. i'm glad. >> i'm glad you're glad. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm just glad that -- i'm glad when it's hard.
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'cause i don't want people to say, "no it's easy for me, i just remember everything." >> yeah. no, some people are like that. i'm not like that. it was shot -- we talk incessantly, so come see it 'cause -- [ laughter ] and this is sort of about a travel nightmare. you guys get stuck in albuquerque. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: have you in your life ever had one of these travels nightmares? these trips that go totally wrong? >> yeah, i've had a few. one that i remember -- when i was quite young, i went a trip to amsterdam from ireland. i was with my parents in ireland and my friend, kenny lonergan. >> seth: the playwright. >> filmmaker kenny lonergan, playwright. we were 19 or so. and we had those tickets where it's like a boat and a train and rea boat and t n another train. and it's all pre-paid and you have the whole thing. and you have your little thing of cash, and your one safe credit card for an emergency. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and we were so excited. and we got to amsterdam. we had a great time.
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we got on the boat to get back to london to cross london on the tr ain to get back to another boat. anm d on that boat, i somehow lost the emergency credit card. >> seth: uh-uh. >> and kenny lost his entire travel -- for the rest of the time. [ audience ohs ] >> seth: you are not the first 19-year-olds to go to amsterdam and find out that they don't have any of the stuff you came with. [ laughter ] >> yeah. that's somewhat why we had gone to amsterdam in the first ace. [ laughter ] and -- boy did we get ours. [ laughter ] you know. because when we were getting off the boat, they so d -- "you can't get off the boat if you don't have a ticket." what you do a you go backrc to amsterdawh >> seth: oh, wow. >>it and we were like, well, we don't have any money now. and if we go back to amsterdam, we're going to die, so please don't do that. [ laughter ] they said, "it doesn't matter if u die. you lost the ticket. your death is not anything to do with us." [ laughter ] and finally, while we were arguing, a bobbie came up with this old traditional hat and said -- [ british accent ] "what's all this then?" [ laughter ]
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>> seth: and now at that point you're like something happened in amsterdam, and i'm having a weird trip. >> and crying. but finally, they were very angry, but they let us go, but now we had no money to cross england. >> seth: yeah. >> so we were wandering aound london trying to call my parents and the phone didn't work. we couldn't -- a, b, we couldn't make that work. and we went to the -- >> seth: what number is "a, b"? i think that you guys were -- something was wrong. you left part of your brain in amsterdam. >> maybe. but the phones really were down. and we went to the ambassador. we went -- that's what we could think of. >> seth: you want to the embassy? >> the embassy. >> seth: wow. >> and they were like, "it's the weekend." but we were like, "well, we have nothing. we're americans." [ laughter ] we've heard there's a weekend fund for stranded travelers. we would like that money, please. [ laughter ] and he said, "i don't think there is a fund like that. but if there is a fund, that's all gone. i don't have any money. there's no money in this place." [ laughter ] but we were so sad and kept
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talking to him so long that he was like, "i'm going to personally give you 20 pounds. this is my address and send it back to me." and he lent us the money. >> seth: wow. >> this ambassador. >> seth: was 20 pounds enough -- >> i think he might have been the ambassador to the united kingdom. [ light laughter ] yeah. >> seth: everyone said, "don't go in on weekends." he was like, "what could happen? it's quiet. nobody bothers you." [ laughter ] did you mail him the money back? >> we sure did. >> seth: you did, okay great. yeah. [ applause ] >> thank you. yeah. yeah. when we got to ireland, by the way, we still had no money to get home and now started hitching, having not washed or anything for several days. we were truly, you know, not somebody you wanted in your car. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. nobody drove by and said, "those two look like a catch." >> "get right in." yeah, yeah. so we hitched for about 18 hours and somebody finally -- >> seth: wow. >> -- took us. >> seth: were your parents sympathetic when you got there to everything you'd been through? >> no. >> seth: yeah.
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[ laughter ] >> we called my father. finally the lines, we were like, "dad, we've been trying to reach you for days." we're in -- whatever come get us. and he's like, "that's two hours! -- all right. i'll be right there." we had a little money left, so we finally ate. we were eating fish and chips and waiting. and dad's car came, and he was just mad the whole time. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. any times dads picks you up. i remember my dad would say, "if anything's ever wrong you can call me. no judgment. you ever get in trouble i'll pick you up." and then he'd pick me up and there'd be a little judgment. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: a little bit of judgment. >> although, i think he liked to get out on his own and have the two hours. like, what are you complaining about? >> seth: he has to do that to th ne rest of the family. like, "oh i gotta go pick up these guys." then it is like -- [ whistling ] yeah, the radio. happy. [ laughter and applaus ] >> seth: you've worked with so many fantastic actors over the years. robert duvall was just here. and i was talking to him about
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working with marlon brando on "the godfather" films. >> the great marlon brando. >> seth: you worked with him on a film called "the freshman," which is a movie i love. >> yeah. >> seth: and robert duvall -- and he showed up at -- robery duvall, they said that -- you'd have to write marlon's script on cue cards and just hold i like, they taped it to robert duvall's chest. 'cause marlon brando did not want to learn his lines. did you have anything like that? were you guys holding up cue cards during "the freshman"? 'cause that's even later in his career. >> yeah. no, by the time i got to marlon, or we got to marlon, he had discovered -- he had an ear thing -- an ear piece. everybody knows this, and he had -- his secretary would read his dialogue to him from a quiet room somewhere. >> seth: during the take? >> during the take. >> seth: wow. >> so you would speak. and there would be a -- [ muffled noises ] [ laughter ] "yeah, i know. but that's why i'm telling you get the car tuesday and not wednesday." [ thlaughter ] and then he would say -- [ marlon brando impression ] "now stop, hold on.
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you have to say his line. you have to tell me my line while he's speaking. if you wait until he's finished to give me my next line, there's going to be this terrible, terrible pause, so say his line -- while he's speaking, you give me my line. [ laughter ] -- yeah. put the magazine down and read my line to me now." [ laughter ] >> seth: so that means while -- >> and he would be looking at you by the way. [ light laughter ] he'd be saying all that and you'd be like, "i don't have -- i don't have magazine. [ laughter ] oh, you're not talking to me. you're not talking to me." [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: so then while you're acting in a scene with him, you know then while you're talking, he's not in any way shape or form listening to you. >> that's right. the greatest actor of all time, arguably, and i think that i 's true. and i would be like, "god, this great. this is the greatest acting experience i've ever had."
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and then one night as i lay in bed thinking how great my life is, i realized, "oh, he's not listening to me when i -- [ laughter ] --when i talk." he's not even hearing me. >> seth: it's a film you can't imagine anyone else playing that part but him. it was built around -- the whole film was built around getting marlon brando for this part. >> yeah. >> seth: i had heard -- is this true? that everybody was very worried until the day he showed up, that he just wasn't going to show up. >> oh, yeah. everybody was like -- movie with marlon brando. is he really going to be in this movie though? [ light laughter ] i'd ask the director he'd be like, "oh, yeyh. he's coming." i'ird be like, "no, ted knight's going to come or something." [ laughter ] "marlon brando is not going to come in the door, right? it's not marlon brando." and then sure enough, though. we were at rehearsal at the director's apartment, and it was time for marlon to arrive. and he was a little bit late. you know, th tension was mounting. somebody was playing a harmonica -- [ laughter ] a little card game in the background.
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and finally -- we opened the door and marlon brando in a velour sweat suit -- [ laughter ] tan, i think, cowboy hat and somewhat feminine sunglasses. [ laughter ] is how i remember it. and i maybe totally have imagined that. i will say that. [ laughter ] and he crawled in on his knees because he was so sorry that he was late. [ marlon brando impression ] "i'm never late. i'm desperately sorry that i was late." [ laughter ] >> seth: that's fantastic. well, you got your money's worth working with marlon brando. >> i sure did. >> seth: fantasteaic, well thank you so much for coming back on the show and sharing that story, i really appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you very much. >> seth: matthew broderick, everybody! "dirty weekend" opens in select theaters on september 4th. we'll be back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ]
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pcome on out, flo! r [house band playing] you have anything p to say to flo? nah, i'll just let pthe results do the talking. t [crowd booing] well, he can x do that. we show our progressive xdirect rate and the rates v of our competitors even if progressive v isn't the lowest. it looks like progressive pis not the lowest! ohhhh! pwhen we return, we'll find out whether p doug is the father. wait, what? lily, may i call you lily? i don't really know what else you'd ca- lily, i want an iphone, with a great data plan to share pictures of this smile. all of our mobile share value plans come with rollover data. so the data you don't use this month rolls over to the next. wow. using unused data for all sorts of uploads. my constituents love... to... watch... me talk. today's leftover data means a brighter future tomorrow.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is a world wrestling entertainment superstar, a 15-time world champion, and the current united states champion. you can see him live this sunday from a sold out barclays center, battling once again for the world championship title at "wwe slummer slam," which will be broadcast on wwe network and pay-per-view. please welcome to the show, john cena. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so great to see you! >> hey! so good to be here.
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hot crowd tonight! >> seth: congratulations on the big summer. [ cheers and applause ] you've had a fantastic summer. i want to get to "trainwreck" but also the fact you've got, obviously, this big match coming up on sunday. >> yes. >> seth: and you're fighting seth rollins. >> seth rollins, on sunday, live around the world on the wwe network. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: very, very exciting. last time you fought seth rollins, during the fight -- that you won. >> i would like -- i did win. >> seth: you broke -- he broke your nose. >> he did. >> seth: and you kept fighting with a broken nose. we actually have a photo of you. >> it wasn't that bad. >> seth: it does -- it looks bad. [ audience ohs ] i think that if i -- so is that -- have you ever? >> so it was bad? they told me i looked okay! [ laughter ] >> seth: no, it's not good. when you broke it, that's not a thing you know right away, yeah? >> well, when my nose blocked my right eye -- >> seth: yeah? >> -- i figured something was wrong. [ laughter ] >> seth: then, did you -- did they move it back in place or you just keep going? >> no, i just kept going, 'cause i figured, "how worse could it get?" >> seth: right, exactly. >> and then it moved even more, farther over to the side. [ audience ohs ] >> seth: wow, like a windshield
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wiper. >> yeah. but it didn't come back. [ laughter ] >> seth: right. >> yeah. but you know, that's all part of what we do. >> seth: i think if i broke my nose, i would ask them to just put me down. i would say -- [ laughter ] the fact you kept wrestling through that, i'm very impressed. >> well, it's a good thing you're not my opponent at summer slam. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] you -- when you started -- so you grew up in massachusetts. >> i did. >> seth: and you were 18 years old when you started. is body building sort of the first thing you started doing before wrestling? >> yeah, i kinda did that in between football season to stay in shape. >> seth: gotcha. >> i got this crazy idea, if i'd be a body builder i would stay in shape for football season. >> seth: that's very smart. and part of body building is you do have to do this performance in front of people. >> and this is where smart became stupid. [ laughter ] >> seth: you had -- tell me about how you got over your fear of performing in front of people for body building. >> to actually compete in body building you need to waltz out on stage wearing nothing but very small underwear and that really kind of freaked me out. >> seth: sure. >> but i'd put all this preperation into this contest, so the person training me for the contest -- who is a long time mentor of mine, dave knock, who i owe a lot to for teaching me, not only a code of ethics, but shedding me of my fear.
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sent me out in the middle of town in nothing but my skivvies to go through my posing routine. stuff like this -- [ laughter ] and this and this. and i come from a small town where your business is everybody's business. >> seth: right. >> and everybody pretty much saw me -- >> seth: where'd you stand? where did he have you stand? >> right in the middle of the one traffic circle. [ laughter ] a rotary, they call them in massachutsetts. so people were going by honking, i'd been called every expletive. and it was sunday, too. so church was getting out. [ laughter ] and they're in their sunday best going, "you mf-er, get out of the mf-ing rotary!" [ laughter ] many of them look like you're giving directions. >> of course! "go this way!" [ laughter ] >> seth: you also -- in your early days of wrestling, you had was it william regal who you got advice from early on? >> yes, i did. and i just was too stupid to understand it. i had a tryout match with wwe. where they put you out before the television program. and i looked up to william regal, he's a wrestler from england, and i came back and i was like, "oh, mr. regal how'd i do?" he said -- [ english accent ] "well lad, if you only had a set of boots at least you'd look like a wrestler."
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[ audience ohs ] and that was his polite way of saying, "that was the worst thing i ever saw." >> seth: right. >> i didn't take it as that. i heard, "well, all i need boots and i'm gonna make it to the big time!" [ laughter ] so i went back and literally ordered 70 pairs of boots. [ laughter ] >> seth: every british person thinks you're every american person. where you say something sarcastic and the next time they see you, you're like, "i got the boots!" >> "i'm gonna make it! this is gonna be great!" [ laughter ] >> seth: so i want to talk about "train wreck" real quick. which is the funniest movie of the summer. congratulations. you're fantastic in it. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. thank you, guys. we had a blast. >> seth: you had a very funny sex scene with amy schumer. and very -- like, a lot of -- even less, you were wearing even less than you were in the rotary, the time i saw you there. >> from humble beginnings at the rotary, here we are. >> seth: so when there's a sex scene like that -- 'cause i know they cover, you know, the private parts of you. but the rest is out there. is it a closed set? >> you know, it was supposed to be. it was a big thing like,
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"privacy is paramount. we want actors to be comfortable." so in the beginning, as we're walking through rehearsal, there's a camera guy and somebody to help with the focus. and then, "i need another focus puller, and get a couple lighting guys and an audio guy. then we need a props guy and somebody from this department." it was full catering -- [ laughter ] there was just day labor stage hands, "hey man, i'm jeff! is it cool if i just kick it for a little bit? [ laughter ] and i'm on my break. is this fine? is this too bad for you?" [ laughter ] so it kind of made it -- it was good. >> seth: even more impressed with the performance now. congratulations. knowing there were so many people there. [ applause ] >> we got to wing it, and have a bunch of fun. and i guess people wanted to laugh with us, and you guys apparently enjoyed it. so thank you guys, as well. [ cheers and applause ] you're too kind. you're too kind. >> seth: i'm very impressed you're going for your 16th world title. even more impressive, you are about to grant your 500th "make a wish." which is really incredible. and this is -- you're the first person to ever do that. [ cheers and applause ] that's really amazing. >> thank you. and thanks for bringing that up.
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it's great. >> seth: and so, i mean -- that must be so nice over the years to have met so many kids who wanted to meet you. >> it is. because everybody has a perception of what we do. i watched the donald trump segment earlier. i certainly know that -- [ laughter ] sometimes there is a certain stigma that goes along with what we do. but at the end of the day, i think what we do can best be described as -- give people these wonderful moments to provide hope, or excitement, or maybe just a day off from a very trying life in the young circumstances of an 8-year-old kid. and i wear that as a badge of honor. i'm really proud to be involved with make-a-wish. and the fact that i'm the result of what the charity produced. like i'm the end product, the wish, i get to see the smiles, the excitement. i get to see a kid forget they're sick and just enjoy wwe for a day. it truly is the coolest thing, and i keep telling make-a-wish like we don't have to make a big deal out of this because i'll be with you for 500, i'll be with you for 1,000. i'll be with you for as long as you'll have me. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: and real quick.
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i would never forgive myself if i didn't give you a chance to say -- if you want to say something to seth rollins before your match? >> you want me to give him a message? >> seth: yeah, i would love to. if you have a message for seth, that would be great. >> seth rollins, you vondruke. [ laughter ] if that is your real name, you look more like a homeless captain morgan. [ laughter ] well, you're lucky, because i'm in a charitable mood and sunday at the barclays i'm going to turn that place into a soup kitchen, and give out knuckle sandwiches, two for the price of none. [ cheers ] but the torture doesn't stop there! no, i'm going to do twisted sick things to you. you rearranged my nose. i'm going to lock you in a room and have gilbert gottfried walk in, and at the top of his voice describe every single page of kim kardashian's new coffe table book of instagram pics! [ laughter and applause ] but no! no, no, i'm not done there. i'm going to sign you up for one of those life-long binding gym memberships, so you spend the rest of your days talking to an automated service, trying to cancel! [ laughter ] "for cancellation, did you mean 'premium pack'? [ laughter ]
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did you say 'advanced membership?'" [ laughter ] oh, yeah we just found out what donald trump took away from wwe, but this sunday, seth rollins, you're going to find out that in john cena's wwe, i'm just simply going to break my foot off up in your ass! [ cheers and applause ] or something. i don't know. >> seth: you mind if i do one real quick? >> you got something? >> seth: yeah. hey seth, just have fun out there. i think that's the most important thing. [ laughter ] and i'm gonna say the same thing to john. try not to hurt each other. because i think, at the end of the day, the most important thing is friendship. [ laughter ] >> if you get a set of boots, as least you'll look like a wrestler. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: john cena, everybody! check out "wwe summer slam" this sunday on wwe network and pay-per-view. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. coming up next -- sorry, what? [ light laughter ] oh, okay, yeah. i'm sorry. it looks like john cena left behind his wallet. so just give me one second, i'm gonna return that. i'll be right back.
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[ laughter ] hey, john? [ knocking ] >> and for the duchess of fuzzy bottom. [ laughter ] one lump or two? [ laughter ] >> seth: you -- you forgot your wallet. >> she likes it sweet. [ laughter ] [ clears throat ] thank you. >> seth: you're welcome.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. you know our next guests from their massively popular show "impractical jokers," now in its fourth season on trutv. and you can watch their live 100th episode special on trutv september 3rd. let's take a look. >> oh,oh. i gotta go, i got a little prep on this one. >> oh, okay, good luck. >> thanks. >> what would you be doing each night in general? >> check my e-mail. >> yeah. >> see if i have anything important to take care of. get rid of those. read a couple of blogs. >> oh, you're getting married! who is he marrying? [ laughing ] >> it's dell's mother! he's getting married to dell's mother. >> no, no, no, no, no. [ laughter ] >> seth: please welcome back to the show, brian quinn, sal vulcano, james murray and joe gatto. [ cheers and applause ]
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welcome back to the show. >> hey! scoot over. >> seth: and congratulations, one -- >> come on. move a little. >> seth: you're good, you're good. you got the chair this time. >> you guys, we've gained weight since the last time we were here. >> seth: you have, this all worked out fine. [ laughter ] so this the 100th episode, it's very exciting. and because its your 100th episode, you guys are amping it up a bit and you're going to tightrope across -- from five stories high, you're going tightrope. >> we're going to try and tightrope. >> seth: you're gonna try and tightrope. all right, now what made you want to do this? what brought you to this? >> oh, nothing, we don't want to do it. [ laughter ] >> seth: no, you don't want to do it. >> the network looked at our contract and was like, "it's cheaper if we kill him." [ laughter ] so here it is. >> there's a charity element. we're doing it for charity. >> seth: okay, you're doing it for charity. >> i wasn't doing it until it until they added a charity element. that forced my hand. >> seth: that's how charitable
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you are. have you ever done -- any of your pranks before put you in physical danger? >> oh, my gosh, yeah. i mean, last season they threw me out of an airplane. >> again. you went skydiving. you had a parachute. [ laughter ] >> you gave the parachute to the tandem guy behind me. >> seth: so you just had a tandem guy strapped to your back. >> we got on a plane sans-parachute. >> seth: anybody else been scared? >> i wrestled an alligator. >> seth: okay. so that's awful. >> great. >> seth: okay. >> loved it. >> they put me -- >> i felt in physical danger. you might not think it was. but they locked me in a haunted house. >> seth: okay. >> i don't do well with haunts. [ laughter ] >> seth: you don't like haunts? >> no, i'm not into the haunts game. >> they locked the door. [ laughter ] >> a lot of people don't like ghosts, you don't like haunts. >> it was uh -- [ laughter ] >> i don't like haunts. in general. >> seth: it goes haunts, spooks, scares. [ laughter ] >> a little girl in a nightgown, in the dark playing a piano with a candle burning beside her. now i know he she is an actress. and she knows that i know that she's an actress. [ laughter ] but if somebody was gonna get hurt, it's not gonna be me.
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>> seth: no, it's the little girl. >> we actually told the little girl to play the piano, and when sal got close to stand up and scream. he screamed louder than the little girl. >> seth: now, have you been training for your tightrope walking? is this something -- >> few minutes here and there. >> seth: okay, yeah. >> literally a few minutes here and there. >> seth: gotcha, so who do you -- do you have an expert? >> yeah. we're working with -- yeah, he's got like eight guinness world records. but i'm beating him in the fall record. [ laughter ] i got him there. >> seth: and now you might see four guys die on the same day. that's got to be a record. >> that would be a record. >> seth: this is one of my favorites. because you have you done like non-risk taking pranks that have worked out great. so explain this real quick, this photo that i'm showing right here. how did this come about? [ laughter ] >> oh. >> this is the punishment on the show. for the past three months the guys told me that i had to shave my chest hair, except for my nipples. >> seth: gotcha. >> not telling me what i had to do in three months. >> huge nipples! >> seth: i was going to say -- [ laughter ] i think you enjoyed it. 'cause you have definitely more than just the nipple. >> so i have a whole summer -- and i ruined my whole summer
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growing out my nipple hair and when the punishment came time to film it had nothing to do with my chest. i just ruined summer for no reason. >> seth: really? [ light laughter ] >> we started it on memorial day and filmed it on labor day just to screw up his tan line. [ laughter ] >> seth: you seem to -- i will say this, you are a man who's come to terms with it. that's the expression on your face. [ light laughter ] >> i'm thinking of growing the nipples out and combing it over the head and around. >> in that picture, looks like you're ready to take on john cena. [ laughter ] >> seth: now you guys are going on your second bus tour, is this true? >> yeah, we tour all the time. in november we're doing our second bus tour. it's three weeks. and then -- actually this weekend -- next weekend, we will be in vegas and reno. >> seth: gotcha. >> and then we're doing a cruise. how's this for promo. then we're doing a cruise in january. we're curating the whole bit. >> seth: so is this -- so this is an impractical jokers cruise. i can sign up for a cruise and i get to be on a boat with people who are known for pulling pranks and fun. [ laughter ] i want a nice relaxing week >> we are calling it the "titanic 2." [ light laughter ] >> i can get you a discount, buddy. >> seth: so wait. so wait. so is this really -- can you even -- if people come
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on an "impractical jokers" cruise, they know, obviously they are familiar with you. they know who you are. is it possible then to actually be able to pull anything off? >> well we're not doing -- we shot an episode on a cruise already. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> we trained. we were under cover. deep, deep undercover. >> seth: got it. >> this we're just pallin' around on the open water with fans. >> seth: did you pull anything off when you were on the training cruise? >> yeah. >> i pulled a few things off. [ laughter ] >> yeah, they made me -- i won the cannon ball contest but they only let me do belly flops. so i did 75 belly flops in a row. >> seth: oyour honor. >> and this belly was made to flop. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, congratulations, guys. i'm so happy you made it to 100 shows. may you have another 100, if you make it. [ applause ] >> thank you, seth. >> seth: if you survive the tidal wave. thank you so much for being back. [ cheers and applause ] the "impractical jokers," everyone. check out their live 100th episode special on september 3rd on trutv. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to matthew broderick, john cena, the guys from "impractical jokers" one more time. [ cheers and applause ] thank you jimmy chamberlain, and also the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow.
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>> carson: what's up, everybody? welcome to "last call" from skyroom in new york. i'm carson daly. coming up, above and beyond performs from the forum, writer/director alex garland is in spotlight, and right now we're going to sit down with the extraordinarily talented star of "the lizzie borden chronicles." this is christina ricci on "last call." i like people that do things that you're just like, "wow, i hadn't thought of that." i've always been the kind of person that wants to see what happens next. so, even when i was younger, like in my twenties, i would always get in trouble because i'd be in situations i knew i shouldn't be in. but i really wanted to know what that crazy person was going to do next. so, i think that, that's the thing. i just love people who are surprising. and the happier the person, the less likely they are to do something really outrageous. >> i'm christina ricci and i'm in "the lizzie borden chronicles." >> i think we can agree that
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adele wouldn't last two more months out here in the street. >> that's two months she could be making money for me. >> this should cover your loss. and then some. >> lizzie borden, the axe killer? >> i prefer, "former sunday school teacher." >> you always get what you want? >> when i don't things get -- >> messy. >> -- the attention they deserve until my point of view is accepted and agreed to. >> it's a mini-series about a character named lizzie borden. it's historical fiction, so she's based on the real person. she was accused of killing her step-mother and her father with an axe. we did a movie where we see that she gets off for it. the mini-series kind of starts a couple months after, and -- she just starts killing people. and there's eight episodes of

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