i'm john berman for "nightline" in new york. >> this saturday, the republicans will come together in des moines iowa for the abc news debate live at 9:00 eastern. good night, america. >> dicky: up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: i hope this is the first transmission they get from earth. >> dicky: jeremy renner. >> jimmy: you have a baby brother? >> i have a 6-month-old baby brother. >> dicky: judy greer. >> jimmy: regular step-mother or evil? >> i'm going to try to keep them guessing. >> jimmy: how many jobs can a person do? forget wall street. these pro

>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about nextpedition from american express travel, the way to turn your next trip into a customized adventure. just go to nextpedition.com, take the online quiz to uncover your travel sign -- mine is taste blazer -- then speak with a travel specialist who will tailor your itinerary for a mystery adventure that will be revealed day-by-day on your travel console. or just make your own plans, but don't be surprised if something like this happens to you. ♪ [ laughter ] hello, aunt chippy. how are you enjoying your trip? >> i hate it! i don't like animals. i wish a lion would eat me already! >> reporter: you kn >> jimmy: if you'd tailored your

trip specifically to your personality at nextpedition.com, you'd be enjoying yourself in a fun place like this. isn't that nice. you see that? >> now this is more like it. oh, that feels so good. you're an animal. >> jimmy: i thought you didn't like animals. >> this is a fly. >> jimmy: thank you, aunt chippy. >> dicky: nextpedition from american express travel. take the online quiz at nextpedition.com today. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with judy greer, music from chevelle and jeremy renner. oh, big game, guys! what are we having? you've got to try the new sizzling entrees. [ sizzling ] [ male announcer ] fresh flavor never sounded so good. ok, i'll have that. [ male announcer ] applebee's new sizzling entrees are here. so come try our juicy new double barrel whisky sirloins, topped with caramelized onions and mushrooms,

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♪ [ male announcer ] there are over half a million apps and counting on the iphone. apps that can take you anywhere and do anything. you might say there's no limit to what this amazing device can do. so the question to ask is -- why would anyone want to limit the iphone? [ phone beeping ] we don't. truly unlimited data for your iphone, trouble hearing on the phone? only from sprint. visit sprintrelay.com. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- jeremy renner. judy greer. and music from chevelle. with cleto and the cletones.

and now, as luck would have it, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for watching, thank you for coming to see us. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. our announcer is dicky, our band leader is cleto, and guarding the door, my friend guillermo is here. are you consumed with the holiday spirit tonight? [ applause ] guillermo is. i read your tweets last night, guillermo. guillermo is on twitter. which is -- funny in and of itself but last night, do you remember what you tweeted last night? >> yes. >> jimmy: last night, guillermo asked for help -- asked the twitter verse for help with a

gift idea for his mom and he tweeted "what should i buy my mom for christmas?" and then, a few minutes after that, tweeted "i think i will give her money so she can buy whatever she want." and then, like three minutes after that, he tweeted "money and tequila will be perfect." [ laughter ] they say that is the perfect gift for mom. [ applause ] isn't that what you got her for mother's day? >> yes. >> jimmy: what is your twitter name for those who might want to follow your shenanigshenanigans? >> i am guillermo. >> jimmy: no one is more guillermo than you are. we have a fun plan for the holidays. after halloween, i issued a challenge to the parents of america. i asked parents to tell their children that while they were sleeping, they ate all their halloween candy. all the candy that the kids collected on halloween, i asked them to videotape the reaction and post it to youtube. we got great responses. our favorite of which features

two young brothers named c.j. and jake. >> do you see how much i had? i went to a lot of houses. >> i know. i ate it all, it tasted so good. especially the peanut butter cups. >> you sneaky mom! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and that video has now -- it's been seen, viewed almost 24 million times on youtube alone. one of the biggest videos of the year. so, i'm issuing a new challenge tonight for this holiday. if you have kids, what i would like you to do is find a terrible present. it could be pencil. could be a one sock, it could be one shoe, it could be a salad. if you have a little boy, it could be a princess costume for your little boy. [ laughter ] something they will not be excited about. wrap it up and tell them you're going to give them one present, the best present of the year, a couple of weeks early. and then, post their reaction whenen they open it to youtube,

with the title "hey, jimmy kimmel, i gave my kids a terrible present." that way we'll be able to find it. and if we luke ike it, we'll pu in the show next week. and you shouldn't harm any people or property while making this, so -- forevor ever, reall because it's illegal. let's do this. let's get something going for christmas here. hey, speaking of youtube, i saw a video today that could change everything. i've been doing this show for, it will be nine years in january and i've been on -- [ applause ] thank you. for a long time. almost 14 years. so, i work with some verial emented people and we work pretty hard. harder than you might guess to bring you funny stuff. but this morning, i had a revelation and that is no matter how hard we work, no matter how long we're on the air, there's a very good chance that we will never be able to top this.

[ laughter ] i mean, it's -- [ applause ] simple and -- i'm planning to hand in my resignation in the morning. if aliens exist, i hope this is the first transmission they get from earth. here's a holiday story that people seem to be talking about a lot lately. at a school in michigan, a teacher there was trying to get her students to sing the song "deck the halls" but when they got to the line about donning gay apparel, the kids would laugh, because they are kids. to fix the problem, the teacher changed the lyrics to the song to don we now our bright apparel, which, to me is even gayer, but what do i know? word got around, the parents found out about it andprincipal what agreed with them and talked to the teacher, but if you are singing christmas carols in the

first place, you have no right to laugh at the word gay, okay? and secondly, the gayest part of that song isn't the word gay, it's the fa-la-la part. that's the part they should be laughing at. if you are going to single out weird christmas lyrics, there are weird earl oneer ones. "later on we'll conspire?" "in the meadow we can build a snowman?" after the murder, they want to build a priest out of snow. the word gay means happy. there's nothing sexual about it. and i do want to say, by the way, i buy all my gay apparel at american apparel, because i -- [ laughter ] god bless usa or something? [ applause ] yeah. hey, do we have any fans of the oprah winfrey in our audience tonight? [ cheers and applause ] remove them!

this will be exciting for you. on the cover of the jan issue of "o" magazine, dr. oz will make an appearance. the first man ever to appear on the cover of "o" magazine. stead mapp can't even get on oprah's christmas card. [ laughter ] and of course it isn't just dr. oz. oprah is with him, because she has to be on -- legally has to be on the cover. there they are. the issue is devoted to oprah's d digestive system. they say if you are examine oprah's colon, you're in her inner circle forever. dr. oz did something very sfrang on this show this week, that has me wondering if there are enough topics relating to health to sustain a daily talk show. >> i have built for you, for the first time ever on our show, your own giant rectum. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a nice gift.

i would like to see the memos they send to the guys that are working the prop s department. we're going to need a giant rectum today. the cover of the january issue of "playboy" magazine featuring lindsay lohan has been leaked online. dr. oz is on the cover of this one, too. no, this is -- this is it. on the inside of the magazine, she's naked, but then, we're all naked on the inside, aren't we? [ laughter ] lindsay was reportedly paid $1 million for the pictorial. i don't like that she's in "playboy." i guess i'm just going to assume that's her evil twin from "parent trap" on the cover. i am planning on steaming that issue of the magazine and then claim i was just boar roafing it. some interesting tv rumors today. sources are reporting that ryan seacrest is being considered as a replacement for matt lauer if he decides to leave "today." earlier this month, he was informed there was a show on tv that he doesn't host and he

became very angry. [ laughter ] and his agent set up a meeting. how many jobs can a person do? forget wall street. these protesters should be occupying ryan seacrest. [ applause ] maybe there are a bunch of ryan seacrest, like santas at the mall? ryan's helpers? beside that gig, ryan might have more kardashian shows to produce soon. the chairman of the company that owns the e network says they are planning multiple spin offs of "keeping up with the kardashians." there are now more shows than there are kardashians. one of the spin offs, they say, would star bruce and kris jenner's two youngest daughters, who are 16 and 14. if your mom has to drop you off at your reality show, are you old enough to have a reality show? they've released promos for the new lineup. if you thought this was hard

before, we're in for a lot of work. >> this spring on e, it's an all kardashian lineup. on monday, kendall and kylie go shopping. on tuesday, kris jenner goes shopping on kris jenner goes shopping. on wednesday, kim and khloe surprise kylie, kris and kendall. on thursday, kris, kjlie kim and court no kourtney. dozens of innocent people are injured on friday with khloe can't control her kangaroo. that's this spring on e. >> jimmy: ka cat trophy is what it is. so, that's good news. last flignight on the show, i td about the accident that happened during the taping of the show "mythbusters." they shot a cannon ball and it

flew into a neighborhood, it went through some people's houses and cars. we showed some video of headline news anchor robin meade talk about this. we had a cannon ball come in and hit her, too. so, she showed the clip that we showed on our show -- it's confusing but here. here is what happened. >> did you watch on jimmy kimmel last night? >> yeah, i was going to say, i saw a different version of that story on late night tv last night. >> here's what jimmy did to it. >> i've seen that show, it's fascinating but what was the myth that they were trying to bust? >> jimmy: it's still -- still going. >> that is some good editing. >> you got right up after that happened. you are a trooper. you sprung right up. >> all right, look at this. a high school -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know, if she shows that tomorrow, it could go on forever. your move, robin.

there's an event later this month that i personally can't wait for. on december 27th, donald trump will moderate a debate between republican candidates for president. or at least that was the plan. ron paul, jon huntsman and mitt romney said they will not participate and today rick perry said he won't. here's his announcement earlier today. oh, wait a minute. hold on. i think that is -- that is not the video. that's -- [ applause ] different video. perry said he isn't skipping the debate because he has a problem with donald trump, he's just really bad at debates, so -- actually perry gave three reasons for declining. first, he needs to concentrate on campaigning. second, there are already two other debates scheduled for that week. and he forgot the third one. [ laughter ] oh, i remember. he said, "i doesn't need donald trump to make me look stupid." what he should have done was told him it's an rodeo.

so far, the only candidates who said they will attend are rick santorum and newt gingrich this is just like when donald trump when he turned 6 and no one came to his birthday party. that doesn't really happen. and one more thing. it's thursday night and it's time for our tribute to the fcc, where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> donald trump is meeting newt gingrich on monday. source close to trump items news 4 he suspects gingrich will [ bleep ] trump's [ bleep ]. >> baseball's biggest [ bleep ] is heed to the big a. >> i'm still going to [ bleep ]. i'm just going to [ bleep ] a different way. >> the actor was booted from an american airlines flight after reportedly [ bleep ] off the captain and the crew. >> we're going to eat [ bleep ].

>> we are going to eat [ bleep ]. >> i have to be committed because i [ bleep ] a [ bleep ], so i'm going to do it. >> when she was in high school, she had a contest to see who would [ bleep ] the most boys. >> yeah? >> and she won. >> being vice president is not worth a bucket of warm [ bleep ]. >> ingot have to get to the to fairy and talk to him about [ bleep ] a [ bleep ]. you would think a guy like him would have better oral hygiene. >> finally, make sure you [ bleep ] the host of the party and follow up with a hand [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: excellent advice. we have a good show for you tonight. from "the descendants," judy greer is here. we have music from chevelle. and we'll be right back with jeremy renner, so stick around. [ peggy ] here's me.

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>> jimmy: hi there. tonight on the program, a very fine actress, whom you can see opposite george clooney in the movie "the descendants." judy greer will be here. and then, with music from this brand new album called "hats off to the bull." chevelle from the bud light outdoor stage. we have a nice lineup for you next week. robert downey jr., anna faris, josh holloway, molly sims, kathy griffin, all the judges from "the x factor." simon, paula, nicole and l.a. reid. and we'll have music from the kooks, death cab for cutie, young jeezy, and lenny kravitz. our first guest tonight is a terrific actor and, as a result of that, a two-time oscar nominee. on december 21st, he joins tom cruise and a dumpster full of explosives in the new movie "mission impossible: ghost protocol." please say hello to jeremy renner.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> hey, hey. >> jimmy: well, hey, i know, there's a new baby in your life, but -- since the last time you were here. >> yes, there is. >> jimmy: not your own. >> i didn't do it. >> jimmy: not your own. >> my dad still making it happen. >> jimmy: you have a baby brother. >> yeah, i'm 40 and i got a 6 month old baby brother. >> jimmy: wow. dad is really -- he's still going, isn't he? >> he might be disappointed that i haven't done anything so he felt like -- >> jimmy: he's having his own grandchildren? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's self-sufficient. >> if he can still do it, i guess. >> jimmy: how did dad break this news to you? >> well, his name is theo. >> jimmy: the baby's name? >> yeah. he goes, you got a brother named theo. awesome. can't wait to meet him. >> jimmy: just like "the cosby

show." and you have spent time with theo? >> yeah, i got to see him at my sister's wedding. he was hanging on my dad's little papoose or something, whatever he was wearing, you know, those -- strange, seeing my dad. >> jimmy: how many brothers and sisters do you have? >> i'm the oldest of six. >> jimmy: okay. and do you think there will be more after theo. >> you never know. pop ppa poppa's s still pimping. >> jimmy: will you be asked to babysit theo? >> i hope not. i'd have to be around for that. i have a bad track record with -- >> jimmy: you do? >> with baby things. it's a running joke in the family. i -- with my goddaughter, who is very close to -- i took down to l.a. with me, she was about 2 years old and i was by myself, i was starving, as an actor but i

wanted to remain close to her this is right when i moved to los angeles. she went down for a nap so i needed to go get her some pb and j so, i locked the door and i leave. >> jimmy: oh, no. this is why people should never leave their children with single guys. >> yeah. but -- i was gone for literally two minutes. the store, i lived next door to a liquor store. i come back, there's a puddle of pee, she couldn't get back in the -- the door locks automatically so when it left, it woke her up, she came out, couldn't find me, took off her clothes, peed. >> jimmy: that's what i do. >> that's what i do, too. always try to get back inside to go to the restroom. the amazing uncle renner failed miserably. >> jimmy: did you keep this -- i guess you didn't, because if they know about this -- >> yeah, i kept it a secret for a few years but she had trauma,

also because while i was -- [ laughter ] this is not my fault, this part. not my fault. i was -- my best friend was watching her while i was -- had to go to acting class. >> jimmy: even better. great. >> couldn't bring her to class. so, the toilet exploded. the plumbing, it shot up rocks and all sorts of fun debris and filled the whole house with sewage. and she was on the toilet when it happened. >> jimmy: oh, now she's on the toilet. >> i don't -- i only bring this up because the fact that -- when she went home, finally, i drop her off, she's amazing, i love, i love my little angel. okay, bye-bye. and she wouldn't pee on a toilet for, like, six, eighth months. and she didn't noknow why. she told me, she has a real problem with going potty in the toilet. i'm like, oh, so strange.

i mean, i don't know why. >> jimmy: i wonder if it has anything to do with the cartoon geyser that came shooting out of my -- you reverse potty trained your goddaughter. that's terrible. >> terrible. that part wasn't my fault. >> jimmy: nobody knows what to do until you learn. i guess until -- >> i knew better. i grew up the oldest of all these kids and grew up changing diapers. i thought i could get away with it. >> jimmy: i see. again, but they trusted you enough to let you take their daughter by themselves, which, of course -- to me, it's their mistake, just to start with. [ laughter ] >> with a bottle of jack in my hand, come on, baby. >> jimmy: innope you are from modesto, california. will you go home to visit the family for the hold days? >> yes, i will. i'm actually very excited about that. er missed thanksgiving but i'll billion there for the holidays. >> jimmy: what animals did you have? >> you know, the random dogs and things but it wasn't until later on in life when, probably like a

teenager, junior in high school, we decided to get a ran ch. >> jimmy: dressing? >> my mom's not a rancher. >> jimmy: so, with no ranch experience, they decided to get a ranch? >> yeah, my step-dad at the time, i guess, was into it or something. i have no idea how it happened. i was a teenager, i was focused on chicks and my motorcycle, whatever. so, now we have 200 cows and goats and a pony. random, i don't know where they came from. i go in the backyard and there's a new animal there. and we had, my favorite was a little pigmy goat named sugar. albino mini goat that was pretty tremendous. it held butts you and jumps on everything. >> jimmy: they are nasty animals. >> and the other goats, i think the demisedemise of the goats, male goats when they're in heat

rivaled the 200 soups we had behind them. >> jimmy: they stink? >> brother -- >> jimmy: they smell like a goat. >> they'll clear a city. >> jimmy: really? >> it smelled more than a goat. [ laughter ] i -- >> jimmy: it's not exactly relatable. >> well -- i don't know -- maybe they sweat, i don't know. >> jimmy: you think it's coming from there? >> it is coming from them. i mean, we're ready. that's what they're saying. >> jimmy: really? >> come to me and my musk. >> jimmy: and does it work? >> didn't work for us. >> jimmy: did the goat get any of the animals pregnant? any of the picks or anything? >> i wasn't out there watching. come on. i told you, i was focused on. >> jimmy: well, sure, of course. >> my grades. >> jimmy: you were not focused on -- >> my studies. >> jimmy: not goat balls, though. we're going to take a quick break here. when we come back, we'll talk about the movie with tom cruise, "mission impossible: ghost protocol." it opens december 21st.

jeremy renner. we'll be right back. [ male announcer ] every day, thousands of people are choosing advil.

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jump now? >> yes. commit. jump. >> jump. >> jump. as i catch you. >> now!

>> you sure about this suit, right? >> pretty sure. >> yeah, you're pretty sure. >> jump. >> oh, god. >> jump. >> jump! >> jimmy: oh, there you go. jeremy renner wi. when tom cruise says jump, you have to jump. >> jimm >> you have to. >> jimmy: you shot some of this movie in dubai. people keep saying, oh, you have to go visit dubai, but -- really? it doesn't appeal to me. i don't know. >> you know, it's -- it's kind of like vegas, without the fun, you know, part of it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's great. >> depends on what you consider fun. don't get me wrong. we had our own sort of fun outside of, like, it's not vegas by any means but what they do have is these -- we did in one

day is, like, for example, there's a, vegas, everything is bigger than life and so there's this waterpark at this atlantis type of hotel. we go on the water slides and tom closed down the park for the crew to say thank you. >> jimmy: of course he did. >> we are running around in our shorts and one of the intertube rides goes through a shark tank and so you're in this clear glass inner tube and the sharks are switching all around you and i'm like, okay, that's kind of cool. can you go upstairs and jump in the tank with them and feed the sharks and the rays come up and you feed them which is really creepy. so, we get out and we're eating coconut thing with a straw and the thing, somebody is rubbing my feet, i'm like which's going on here? tom is like, hey, man, you want to go skiing? like, right around the corner, there is this mall that has an door ski slope. there's two ski slopes in this thing. >> jimmy: with snow? >> yeah, in a mall, by the gap. so literally we're walking

through the mall dripping wet in our board shorts and flip-flops and now we're looking for mittens. and ski gear because we're going to go skiing. this is literally within 20 minutes. we are now skiing. you stop off at t.g.i. friday's, you grab a little cocoa and you keep going up. it's the strangest thing. this is in the span of four hour. then, you want to go go cart racing? let's safe that for tomorrow. let's go surf in the sand dunes. that sounds amazing. tomorrow. tomorrow. >> jimmy: spread it out. >> we did all these things. >> jimmy: did you do the go carts? >> we did. tom put together. he didn't get to do a lot of the stuff. >> jimmy: he didn't? >> he was busy with the auctict stuff. a few things we did do together as a group. there's this go cart track and it's really nice. and the whole crew, the stunt crew. very competitive guys. >> jimmy: right. >> and one of them has his son

guy that is also -- young kid, 16. and he's a pro go cart or whatever you want to call it, racer. and, you know, people kept asking, you and tom competitive racing around the track, no, we are getting our butts handed to us by this 16-year-old kid. so, i'm like, tom, maybe he juiced up his cart? so, i'm going to distract him. you jump in his cart. that didn't work. he still was smoking us. i was going to slash his tires. really, like, hurting him. he was crushing us. you know what, he's probably 50 pounds lighter than us. definitely because he's light everyone. >> jimmy: it is probably because he's lighter. >> got to be lighter. >> jimmy: and he beat you then even after that? >> yeah. yeah. it didn't work. nothing worked. >> jimmy: tom cruise is insane, isn't he? he's not scared of things that the human brain is supposed to be scared of. he thinks they're fun. >> i suppose, yeah. i think he likes a challenge.

>> jimmy: yeah, that's -- >> he likes a challenge. >> jimmy: that's one way of saying it, yeah. we did a thing once where we zip lined off the building. it was the simplest thing in the world. >> look what he does for a living, man. >> jimmy: i guess. but when you're an actor, you think, oh, they're not really this action hero. they're just an actor pretending to be an action hero and then they are having makeup put on and having their feet rubbed like you were saying. [ laughter ] tom cruise, like, might actually be changing into a super hero costume at night and fighting crime. >> he does not sleep so he very well may be. >> jimmy: he probably does not sleep. great to see you. congratulations on all the success. again, the movie -- are there ghosts in the movie? >> no, that's just us. >> jimmy: "mission impossible: ghost protocol" opens everywhere december 21st. we'll be right back with judy greer.

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you'd do that for me? really? yeah, i'd like that. who are you talking to? uh, it's jakeak from state farm. sounds like a really good deal. jake from state farm at thrhree in the morning. who is this? it's jake from state farm. what are you wearing, jake from state farm? [ jake ] uh... khakis. she sounds hideous. well she's a guy, so... [ male announcer ] another reason more people stay with state farm. get to a better state. ♪ >> jimmy: hola. we're back. still to come, music from chevelle. you know our next guest from "arrested development," "two and a half men," "adaptation" and many other memorable films and tv shows. her latest with george clooney, called "the descendants," is getting rave reviews. it is in theaters now. please say hello to judy greer.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> awesome. how are you? >> jimmy: doing well. you did a great job in the movie. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and the movie could win an oscar because of you. >> oh, because of me? >> jimmy: well, partly, yeah. >> not me. >> jimmy: if i was you, i would say yes. >> yeah, because of me, it might win an oscar. >> jimmy: you get kind of -- maybe typecast is not the right word -- >> pigeonholed, yeah. i always kind of play the best friend, which is awesome. i made -- i was going to try to be the best friend to all the jennifers, which i accomplished. i did garner and lopez and aniston, so, awesome. which -- and now i'm kind of ready to move onto the kates because i did katie heigl in "27 dresses." if i could go katie holmes, kate

winslet. and the ultimate best friend would be cate blanchett, but -- she never has a friend. that's the thing about her. she has, like -- a lone wolf out there. she never has a sister or a confidant or a friend, so -- >> jimmy: why do you think that is? >> she's so cool. she doesn't need one. she can do it by herself. >> jimmy: maybe you can do georges. you had george clooney. >> i know, i would be his best friend. >> jimmy: you could be, i don't know, george lopez, maybe. >> who else? >> jimmy: curious george would be a good one for you. >> what about a last name of george? who is that? >> jimmy: phyllis george. but i think -- [ laughter ] jeff george. a quarterback. i could go on forever with -- >> quarterbacks need best friends. >> jimmy: king george, who i'm pretty sure is dead. >> i think so. [ laughter ] i think i've seen his gravestone. >> jimmy: you are one of the people who announces the s.a.g. award, the screen actor's guild award nominations on tv. so, you stand there and you will

read the nominees. >> that's what they tell me. >> jimmy: and there's a very good chance you will be reading your own name. >> yeah, maybe. we'll see. i don't know. >> jimmy: you should read your own name one way or the other. [ laughter ] >> the thing, i feel like i could just throw my name in there, right? >> jimmy: of course you could. >> i think i might. we'll see. >> jimmy: have you kind of thought about how you will react if, in either way? because -- >> i'm going to cry. no matter what. i've decided i'm going to cry if my name is there and if it isn't. i think that will be fun. >> jimmy: you're planning a breakdown. >> yeah. i want to have a bareakdown on live television. again. >> jimmy: you are getting married soon? >> i know. >> jimmy: congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes. >> jimmy: how is that going? >> i don't know. i have a very -- one of my very best friends is a wedding coordinator. that's her job. she has her own business. and we met in college and we didn't like each other at first

but then we kind of warmed up to each other and so i'm really glad right now that we stayed friends because -- >> jimmy: paying dividends. >> she's working for free. it's crazy the stuff you have to decide when you plan a wedding. i didn't know. i didn't know. what about place cards? i don't know. >> jimmy: you have to put those out so -- >> why can't everyone just sit where they went? she's like, no, no. >> jimmy: because then clooney is, like, your drunk uncle is on his lap, you know? you have to section people off. maybe even have a fence there or something. >> yeah. can you imagine? i have a celebrity table, yeah. >> jimmy: you do? >> no, that would be so weird. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that would be weird, i guess. getting gifts already? >> i have a no gift policy. but i am getting gifts. i don't know. we have, like, the website you are supposed to have and then it says, no gifts but everyone is buying us gifts already but we don't want gifts. so i don't know what to do. how do you not?

don't buy us a gift if you are watching and coming, don't buy us a gift. >> jimmy: what have they sent us so far? >> i'm kind of excited about the crock pot i got already. but i didn't want it, i didn't, you know -- >> jimmy: when you get it. >> it would be rude to return that, specifically. i got that. >> jimmy: okay. so, you are going to keep the crock pot. >> i'm going to make dinner the morning for that night. >> jimmy: you're really taking to this marriage thing. you -- your fiance, correct me if i'm wrong, has two girls? >> no. he has one girl and one boy. a 15-year-old and an 11-year-old and the 11-year-old is the boy. so i'm going to be a step-mom soon. >> jimmy: will you be evil or regular? >> i'm going to try to keep them guessing. i think that's the better way to go, you know? i don't want them to count on anything. >> jimmy: are they impressed that you're in the movies? >> not at all. but this cool thing happened,

because i do "two and a half men" sometimes. i was really excited about the first time i met ashton kutcher. we had the christmas party for the show, and i brought the kids, and they got to meet ashton and that was -- i mean, that had to be kind of cool, right? >> jimmy: was he in the towel or was he -- did he have clothes on? >> he had the thing on his thing. >> jimmy: that's good. >> so it was covered. it was covered by the thing. no, he was so night and he asked them questions and i was just like, oh, i want to write him a thank you twitter. >> jimmy: yeah, right. i don't think he's tweeting anymore. something bad happen and he decided to stop. >> yeah, we don't talk about that. i'm just like, so, you're still drinking coffee, that's awesome. >> jimmy: and your friend george clooney, this is the second movie that you -- >> we're pretty close, george and i. >> jimmy: were in "three kings" with him. and everyone says they dislike him intensity, true?

>> is this a trick? yeah, he is actually like one of the nicest people walking on the planet. >> jimmy: is he invited to the wedding? >> no, i only invited jerks to the wedding. i want good stories to tell. >> jimmy: except for the crock pot giver. >> she'll be there. >> jimmy: great to see you. congratulations onnal your success. again, the movie is called "the descenda descenda descendants," it is out now. judy greer, everyone. we'll be right back with chevelle.

>> jimmy: in my hand i have their new album. it's called "hats off to the bull." here with the song "face to the floor," chevelle. ♪ ♪ to pick up the tip doesn't mean a lot feel inside your drugs if we own the night ♪ ♪ then spread it out

or pack up without a clue well, cause by their own and by default ♪ ♪ time to find the noose like your face being forced to the floor i got a taste ♪ ♪ of the benefits five foot change there's no better way to hash it out ♪ ♪ so let's set up your time to bail well cause now the cracks should we intervene ♪ ♪ i hold this albatross

like your face being forced to the floor when either way ♪ ♪ you're way too close to it all pay up never wait them out cover me up take it all ♪ ♪ take it all you're my last take it all the way right back down ♪

♪ you less bless pay up never take it all take it all like your face being ♪ ♪ forced to the floor when either way you're way too close to it all ♪ ♪ like your face being forced to the floor either way you're way too close ♪ ♪ like your face being forced to the floor either way you're way too close ♪ ♪ to it all