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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  August 4, 2015 12:37am-1:38am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- miles teller. from "playing house," jessica st. clair and lennon parham. music from christine and the queens featuring the 8g band with brad wilk. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, here he is, seth meyers! [ cheers & applause ] ♪ >> seth: good evening everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ]
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that is good to hear. man oh man, it's an exciting week. it is an exciting week because we have our first g.o.p. debate coming up this week. a lot of republican polling in the news. donald trump, you guys -- donald trump still leading the republican polls -- [ light laughter ] with support from 19% of voters. of course it's only a matter of time before trump slips up and says something completely sane. [ laughter ] and once he says something completely sane, party is over. [ laughter ] this was incredible to me. a staffer for donald trump's campaign has been fired after it was discovered he made statements on facebook in 2007 calling president obama a socialist, marxist, islamo-facist, nazi appeaser. [ laughter ] well technically he was fired for leaving out muslim. [ laughter ]
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"can't leave out muslim. that's the big one." dr. dre has announced -- the great dr. dre has announced that he will release his first album in 15 years. wow. [ cheers & applause ] we've waited 15 years for a follow-up. i guess he really is a doctor. [ laughter ] oreo -- you guys, oreo has come out with a lower calorie cookie called oreo thins -- which is also a good way to describe people who eat them. "i wouldn't say you're fat. i'd say you're oreo thin." [ laughter ] [ applause ] that's how i'd describe that. fox news has set the rules for the first republican debate and will limit rebuttals to 30 seconds unless a candidate is called out by name, which seems like it would give an unfair advantage to donald trump. >> donald. >> trump. >> donald.
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>> donald. >> mr. trump. >> donald trump. >> donald trump. >> mr. trump. >> trump got it. >> donald trump. >> mr. trump. >>they're gonna love trump. >> trump trump. >> donald trump. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: seth meyers liked that joke so seth meyers told it. [ laughter ] i don't know if you heard about the hitchhiking robot hitchbot. have you heard about this? hitchbot. hitchbot is a canadian hitchhiking robot. [ cheers ] [ laughter ] i have bad news for your enthusiasm. because the hitchhiking robot hitchbot had to end its journey across america earlier this weekend after it was vandalized and damaged trying to go through philadelphia. [ laughter ] it's now being sent to live with its auntie and uncle in bel air. [ laughter ] [ applause ] "this is the story all about how --" that's right, hitchbot was destroyed, but we did get
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exclusive black box audio from hitchbot. let's listen to the final moments. >> thank you for picking up hitchbot. >> yo, look at this, we got a talking trash can. >> i am not a trash can. i am hitchbot. >> hey, robot, you an iggles fan? >> it is pronounced eagles. [ laughter ] >> why, you son of a bitch. >> ow. ow. ow. [ laughter ] >> seth: that canadian politeness does not play in philadelphia. i don't care. real or robotic. this is cool. the delta sigma theta sorority -- the delta sigma theta sorority held its national convention in houston this weekend, and caused three hours of flight delays after the 13,000 attendees were given thick, black books that tsa officials said could be mistaken for explosives. but at least "see something, say something" is working. "hi, yes, i'm sorry, there's a sorority girl with a large book. [ laughter ]
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yeah, no, i can't explain it either. i -- [ cheers and applause ] send your best people. send your best people." [ cheers & applause ] and finally chinese liquor suppliers are being accused of putting viagra in alcohol. though it made sobriety tests easier. "sir, have you been drinking this evening or are you just happy to see me?" ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are we doing, 8g band? everybody good? we all had a good weekend? we're so excited, you guys. back again with us this week on drums, brad wilk. [ cheers and applause ] the great brad wilk, from rage against the machine and audioslave. welcome back, brad. we're so excited to have you for another week. >> thank you. >> seth: thank you for being here. last night, i'm home.
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i don't know if you've ever -- anybody ever use the website, the app seamless web? anyone? it's -- yeah. it's really essentially here in new york city. it's great. you go online, it tells you all of the restaurants that will deliver and you just click on the restaurant, you click what you want to order and they already have your credit card information, they just bring it to your house. you don't have to talk to anybody. [ light laughter ] last night, it went down. it crashed. and i had to call the restaurant and i was so upset. [ laughter ] it's been so long since i called a restaurant. i didn't even know how to approach it. my wife was out of town and i called her and i said, "you have to come home." [ laughter ] because i don't know what -- i can't do this. but she wouldn't. and so now it's been 37 hours since i've eaten. [ laughter ] so if i seem light-headed it's because my wife wouldn't come home and call a restaurant. [ laughter ] after everything i do for her.
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[ laughter ] you guys, we have such a great show for you tonight. he is such a wonderful actor. he's in the new film "fantastic four." miles teller is with us this evening. [ cheers and applause ] can't wait to talk to him. also, two of my favorite ladies, their second season of "playing house" on usa premiers soon. jessica st. clair and lennon parham are back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] and we have music from a great band, christine and the queens are joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] you guys, mentioned in the monologue, i am so excited. it's finally happening. the thing they promised us. this thursday, fox news will host the first g.o.p. debate in cleveland, ohio. now -- yeah, so excited. can't wait for it. fox has capped the debate at ten participants, and with 17 declared g.o.p. candidates, that means many will be on the outside looking in, such as lindsey graham, the senator from south carolina.
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carly fiorina, the one-time hewlett-packard ceo. jim gilmore, the former governor of virginia, and douglas reynolds, who is a fictional person i just made up. [ laughter ] and jim gilmore might as well be. now, it's going to be a fun debate no matter what. but there is currently one candidate who is on the bubble and if he was in the debate it would make it so much more fun. which brings us to a segment we call, "free rick perry." ♪ how can you not have rick perry at your debate? need i remind you he provided an all-time debate highlight in 2011 when he couldn't name a third federal agency and then saved it with this now-classic line. >> i can't. the third one, i can't. sorry. oops. [ laughter ] >> seth: you don't want him at your debate? [ laughter ] he's the comic relief. would you have liked "family matters" more if it didn't have urkel? "i thought urkel distracted from the more interesting family dynamics of the winslows." and "oops" wasn't just a one-time thing.
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rick perry has been making gaffes for years. listen to what he said to a reporter in 2005. >> adios, mofo. [ laughter ] >> seth: you don't want the "adios, mofo" guy in the debate? you should, especially since the debate is inviting actual mofos. [ laughter ] [ applause ] also, need i remind you, rick perry has made the strongest statements against donald trump, calling trump a cancer on conservativism, and then when trump questioned perry's brains and toughness, perry replied, "let's get a pull-up bar out here and see who can do more pull-ups." [ laughter ] a grown man challenged another grown man to a pull-up contest. they could actually get in a fight on stage but oh, no, we don't want that. we want to hear what rand paul has to say about tax codes. >> right now we have a tax code in our country that scares jobs overseas. everybody laments jobs going overseas, but if you want to
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stay -- jobs to stay at home, you need to make money more welcome here. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, yeah, you guys are right. that's way more fun than this. >> i grew up -- i grew up on a farm. i tell people, so far out in the country that everybody had their own tomcat. >> we must make president obama a one-term president. >> i know hi-liar and -- and, uh -- wizorick. i always have fun with your name, brother. [ laughter ] >> seth: put him in the middle. [ laughter ] plus, this is a new rick perry. he has glasses now. glasses that will allow him to see the confused faces of audience members when he gives a super dumb answer. or, maybe, just maybe he is smarter now. maybe he's smarter because he's been studying these last four years, or maybe he's smarter because he was shaking hands with a fifth grader and they got hit by lightning and traded brains. [ laughter ]
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don't believe that's possible? do you not believe that's possible? because rick perry posted this to instagram. ♪ ♪ are you willing to completely rule out that the occult is at work here? [ laughter ] let him in the debate. it's not like thursday is important. it can't be. the election is too far away. this is like the first few episodes of "american idol" when we tune in to see the nut birds. plus, rick perry was the governor of texas. a three-term governor of texas. texas was threatening to secede because america was too far left. if fox news doesn't let perry into the debate, i think that basically guarantees that everyone in texas is going to say -- >> adios, mofo. [ laughter ] >> seth: and that's on you, fox. [ applause ] that's on you, fox news. this has been "free rick perry." we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers & applause ] ♪
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how'd you do that? magic. the samsung galaxy s6 edge, with discreet edge notifications. get $200 or more when you buy a galaxy s6 or s6 edge and trade in an eligible smartphone. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> welcome back everybody. now as some of you may know, the penultimate episode of "true detective" -- hbo's "true detective was last night and we here at late night have
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started to notice that the characters on "true detective" have a way of speaking in these little philosophical ruminations on life. now this got us thinking where we heard that before and that's when we realized that the dialogue of season two of "true detective" sounds almost exactly like what you find inside a fortune cookie. think you can tell them apart? let's see, because it's time to play the new game show, "fortune cookie or true detective." ♪ let's meet our contestants. contestant number one, what's your name? >> annie. >> seth: annie that is great but from now on we'll call you by your "true detective" name, artemis bogdonavich. [ laughter ] thank you. artemis, contestant number two, what's your name? >> i'm sook. >> seth: alright, sook. your -- that's a great name but your "true detective" name is bobby pappallardo. [ laughter ] bobby pappallardo. bobby pappallardo. contestant number three, what's
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your name and where you from? >> i'm luke, i'm from pittsburgh. >> seth: luke from pittsburgh. alright, that's great. from now on you're deputy sheriff dick blunt [ laughter ] and you're from somewhere dark where even the sun is to [ bleep ] scared to rise. [ laughter ] ♪ >> seth: and the sound of a sad lounge singer singing a song that no would ever want to hear in a bar means it's time for round one. let's begin. [ cheers and applause ] here's how it works. i will read you a sentence and you'll tell me if it's a message from a fortune cookie or an actual line of dialogue from the tv show "true detective." if it's a fortune cookie you'll hear the sound of a gong. [ gong sound ] and if it's a line from "true detective," we'll play the actual clip from the show, clip like this one. >> i use to want to be an astronaut.
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good for you. [ laughter ] this is the first round. each correct answer will earn you one colin farrell mustache. contestant number one, are you ready? >> i'm ready. >> seth: okay, here you are. better to walk before they make you run. fortune cookie or "true detective." >> fortune cookie. >> seth: let's see the answer. >> better walk before they make you run. >> seth: that is a real thing someone said on "true detective." alright, contestant number two are you ready? >> yep. >> seth: everything is possible just not so probable. fortune cookie or "true detective"? >> fortune cookie. >> seth: judges? [ gong sound ] that was from a fortune cookie, very well done. [ applause ] bobby pappallardo. contestant number three are you ready? >> yes. >> seth: a full moon is the best time to ratify alliances, fortune cookie or "true detective." [ laughter ] >> i'm gonna go fortune cookie. >> seth: judges? >> full moon is the best time to ratify alliances.
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>> seth: and if you have no idea what that means, then welcome to the world of "true detective." [ laughter ] alright, let's see the scores after the first round, contestant number two, you're in the lead with one colin farrell mustache. and oh no. uh oh, you guys. a lurking man in a bird mask means it's time for round two. [ laughter ] alright, this time the points are doubled. let's begin with contestant number one. your quote this time is never do anything out of hunger, not even eating. >> "true detective." >> seth: judges? >> never do anything out of hunger, not even eating. >> seth: congratulations. that's a real quote from "true detective." [ cheers and applause ] two mustaches for you. contestant number two, the sun always shines after a downpour, fortune cookie or "true detective." >> "true detective." >> seth: judges? [ gong sound ] >> oh, i'm sorry, that's from a fortune cookie. no one would ever say anything that positive on "true detective." [ laughter ] all right.
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contestant number three, are you ready? sometimes your worst self is your best self, fortune cookie or "true detective." >> "true detective." >> seth: let's see. >> sometimes your worst slef is your best. [ laughter ] >> seth: and on "true detective" it's overtime. that's correct. let's see the scores after the second round. alright, contestants one and three you're rocking it with two colin farrell mustaches each. very close game. to celebrate the end of the round we're going to do a round of shots. underneath your podium you will each find a shot of whiskey. hold it up for me. and now in the spirit of "true detective" we're each, in turn going to take a shot while we think of the sadness thing that's ever happened to us. i'll go first. and everybody look into camera one. [ laughter ] [ applause ]
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you've been through some [ bleep ], man -- you. [ laughter ] oh. and the sound of colin farrell shaving off his mustache means that we've reached the final round. but before we begin, let's see what the contestants can win today ron. >> out runners up will go home with a half full bottle of jack daniels and our winner will walk away with a weird sex doll and a bowl of milk. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, now. contestants focus up. i know you want that. so, correct answers in the last round are worth 100 mustaches. this is a multiple choice round. i'm going to read two quotes both sound like they could be fortune cookies. one is actually from "true detective." i will read both, and then you will write down which one you think is from "true detective." the first quote, loyalty is important and usually painful. the second quote, pain is inexhaustible, it's only people who get exhausted. is the first or the second from "true detective." take a moment and think it over.
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♪ [ laughter ] all right. the two quotes were, loyalty is important and usually painful. the second one was, pain is inexhaustible, it's only people who get exhausted. let's see what you said. quote one, what have we got there? quote two, quote two. all right, it's pretty easy to see which one was from "true detective." >> loyalty's important and usually painful. pain is inexhaustible, it's only people who get exhausted. >> seth: that was a trick question. both of those quotes are from "true detective" and they appeared within one minute of each other. let's see the final scores -- it's a tie between one and three so you will each be taking home a weird sex doll and a bowl of milk. [ cheers and applause ] bring it all out, bird man. congratulations to our winners. congratulations to all of our players.
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fortune cookie or "true detective." we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers & applause ] ♪ song: rachel platten "fight song" ♪ two million, four hundred thirty-four thousand, three hundred eleven people in this city. and only one me. ♪ i'll take those odds. ♪ be unstoppable. the all-new 2015 ford edge. is thno, it's, uh, breyers gelato indulgences. you really wouldn't like it. it's got caramel and crunchy stuff. i like caramel and crunchy stuff. breyers gelato indulgences... it's way beyond ice cream.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our first guest is a talented actor, who you know from films like "whiplash" and "the spectacular now." starting friday he takes on the role of mr. fantastic in the new marvel movie "fantastic four." let's take a look. >> amazing. >> oh, thanks. >> amazing you didn't black out
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the entire western hemisphere. >> hmm? >> you basically ripped a hole in the fabric of space time with unspecked components and no supervision. >> yes, that was an accident. >> and if by accident you upped the power you would have created a runaway reaction that opened a black hole and swallowed the entire planet. >> well i'm glad that didn't happen. >> seth: please welcome to the show miles teller. ♪ how are you? >> good. [ cheers ] good. >> seth: thank you so much for being here. now i always -- when people are in comic book movies i always wanna ask were you a comic book fan? >> right. >> seth: were you? >> no, i wasn't necessarily.
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>> seth: when i say that's cool, i mean that's cool. >> right, okay. yes. no, yeah, i played video games with some "x-men" characters and stuff. >> seth: gotcha. >> i wasn't huge into comics. my dad actually when -- after i was cast told me that "fantastic four" growing up was his favorite comic book. >> seth: that's nice then. >> yeah, i think that for him that's got to be pretty, pretty incredible. >> seth: yeah, i mean 'cause it's really -- i mean you are his spawn. >> i know. [ laughter ] >> seth: i feel like this is a big deal for him. >> right, yeah. >> seth: you could play any superhero. >> couple of mr. fantastics hanging out. >> seth: yeah, just being cool dudes together. >> yeah, i wonder how dr. doom's dad feels. >> seth: yeah, that's true. that must be a huge bummer for him, or he's thrilled. you never know. >> right, yeah, exactly. >> seth: did you -- this is an origin story. does that make it more exciting when you get to play, like, characters becoming superheros? >> yeah, i think so. you know, especially with these characters, the powers that they get, you know, really have kind of a reflection of who they were before hand. johnny's got, you know, the temper. sue's kind of, she's a little more um -- you know, introverted.
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very studious ben kind of has a hard exterior because of the way that he was raised. and then for reed we were tryin' to think of it, we're like well, he's always stretching his imagination, his flexible -- you know, i don't know. >> seth: i would say, something's stretching and i think it's what you're doing there, yeah. [ laughter ] >> right, yeah. exactly. exactly. don't turn on me now, audience. okay. there we go. cool. but yeah, so ours is an origin story. and you get to kind of see these characters before they put on the suits and what it would it really be like for these kids if something that traumatic were to happen. you know, how do that go from that to then fighting dr. doom? and i think that transition period is pretty interesting. >> seth: now, any perks so far for being in a big marvel movie like this? >> yeah, the one that i got i was -- i came back to the airport. i was flying internationally. so, it was like a long customs line. and like standing in line it looked like it was going to be an hour or so. and this security guard comes up to me, taps me on the shoulder
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and says follow me. like, "oh my god." what's in my backpack? that was the first thing. i was like, what's in my backpack. [ laughter ] >> seth: you just threw your backpack in the garbage. >> yes. i'm out. yeah, so then he brings me over to a kiosk and opens it right up for me and says, "come on. do you really think mr. fantastic has to wait in line?" >> seth: wow. [ laughter ] >> and then he actually said something cooler like, "welcome to the marvel universe." [ laughter ] i was like, is this guy doctor storm? this is like the coolest, coolest thing. i need that at the dmv. >> seth: yeah. i heard -- i heard that guy got fired. >> immediately. >> seth: right, yeah. his supervisor came over, what are you doing? you don't do that. >> right, right. you didn't even check his backpack. >> seth: and they were like, he's mr. fantastic. he's like, no, he's an actor. that's not a real superhero. he's just got to wait in line like everybody else. now you weren't a big comic book fan, but i heard you played in a celebrity baseball game. >> yeah. >> seth: was it baseball or softball? >> it's celebrity softball. >> seth: celebrity softball. and i heard you say that was more exciting than the oscars? >> yeah, i mean you're a big sports guy. >> seth: i'm a huge sports fan, yes. >> you're a baseball fan and for me, as a kid i always wanted to
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be, you know, a pro-athlete. and when i was really little they used to do the rockin' jock on mtv. >> seth: sure, i remember that. >> i thought, man, that'd be so cool. but yeah, i mean, first of all, the stadium was sold out. it was in cincinnati. there's like 45,000 fans and you're playing on the actual field and it's softball. and it's like, you know, instead of whatever centerfielder it's snoop dogg and, you know, all these various people. but it was just -- to look up in the stands and just -- and to see for a minute what it would be like if i had any kind of muscle tone in high school. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] well, here's my question. 'cause i haven't played on that scale but i have played in some like lower level celebrity things. [ light laughter ] but i felt like because i was a terrible athlete in high school, like i just get nervous about my performance. like did you -- i always feel like afraid i'm going to screw up and somebody's gonna yell, you suck and it will ruin the thrill. >> sure. and those people are there. but it's not you, it's them. >> seth: that's true. >> yeah, remember that. >> seth: yeah, right. when they're yelling, you suck. they're really commenting on themselves. >> they suck. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] did you do all right? >> i was two for three.
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i wasn't happy. i was alright. i flied out. but you just think, and maybe it's because i haven't played baseball or done that in a long time. but when you're in high school everything -- you're so flexible and everything's so easy. you get out there and you're like "oh my god, i think i just pulled something. this is embarrassing, like --" >> seth: yeah. >> that's the real world people. >> seth: yeah, you can laugh all you want. >> i'm being honest. your body's got a couple of miles on it at this point. i had so much fun. i hope they invite me back. >> seth: yeah, well it sounds like you did well. two for three, they'd be crazy not to. >> yeah, but guys are going deep left and right. i had like an infield single that i had to beat out. >> seth: gotcha. two for three, yeah. >> like a texas leaguer kind of, you know, an inbetweener. >> seth: i like your terminology. >> yeah, i'm a baseball guy, seth. >> seth: you're a fine tooled player. um -- you must get recognized by fans all the time. you've done some young adult stuff that i would assume like, you have some super fans from that stuff, like "divergent" and what not. but you got recognized by a guy
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with two kids and it did not go down the way you wanted. >> yeah, i mean, this was like two years ago. i was in la. i was just getting like a starbucks and i'm waiting in line, and this older gentlemen, a hasidic jew, and he had these two young kids with him. and he's like, "miles do you mind, can you take a picture?" i was like, sure. i thought it was going to be with the kids. he hands his phone to his kids -- [ laughter ] to take a picture of me and him. and then he tells me that "21 and over's" my favorite movie. which "21 and over's" this like kind of r rated college party movie that -- >> seth: yeah. >> it has its audience. i didn't know this guy was a part of. >> seth: sure. [ laughter ] so, anyways, like, yeah, do you mind to get the kid to take the photo of us. and then i give the phone back and he's like "hey miles, you should -- you know, is it cool if i get your number?" [ laughter ] i said, for what? >> and he's like, "oh, you know, in case you ever go to some vip things and want to bring me." [ laughter ] i think he specifically said like concerts.
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and i was so weirded out by it i just gave him a fake number. >> seth: yeah. >> and then i left. >> seth: see i would have said if that's our plan, you should give me your number 'cause then i'll call you. >> right. >> seth: 'cause if only you have mine i feel like you'll just call every day and say, "are there any concerts tonight?" >> right. >> seth: and that could be pretty bad too. >> yeah. i was so -- the whole thing did such a 360 so quick. i was like, i got to get out. [ laughter ] >> seth: here's what i'm hoping. i'm hoping at some point in the future, i'm at some event i see you and i go, "oh hey, it's miles." and i walk over and you're sitting in a booth with a hasidic gentleman. [ laughter ] >> he was a pretty cool guy, actually. >> seth: i gave him a chance and he's a pretty cool guy. >> yeah. oh my gosh. >> seth: thanks for being here, man. it's so great to have you on the show. congrats on everything. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: such a pleasure. miles teller, everybody. "fantastic four" opens everywhere on friday. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ that's amazing. it's amazing. this is amazing. thats amazing!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our next guests are the creators and stars of the very funny show, "playing house." the second season premiers tomorrow night on usa network. let's take a look. >> how long has it been? >> it's been a long time, right? >> i know exactly how long it's been. four and a half months is how long it's been. >> is that -- is that the amount of time that it has been? that it's been? >> yes, that's when you told him
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that he's not allowed to see me anymore for no reason at all. >> actually there was a very good reason. >> you guys got a dog? >> yes, we did. this guy right here? this little rascal , tina wanted a dog and so we got a dog and now we have a dog, right? >> and his name is rene'. >> seth: please welcome back to the show jessica st. clair and lennon parham. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: ladies, so happy to have you back. now, this is what i love about this show, you guys are very good friends in life. >> yes. >> seth: the show is based off your friendship. but you -- now you guys did not know each other in high school. >> no. >> seth: but this show is basically what you thought adulthood would be like when you were in high school? >> yeah, it's like your fantasy
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of, when you're in high school you dream of like when i grow up, i'm going to live in a house with my best friend. >> seth: right. >> and we'll get into scrapes and there will be no consequences and we won't have to go and work at a job. >> yeah, we'll have a baby and maybe there will be a dog or some other pets but they'll take care of themselves. >> we'll have like a hermit crab and that will be fine. yeah, so, that's what it is and we're living the dream. >> seth: excellent. now, there are some high school inspirations. no jessica, you were obsessed in high school with sneaking out of the house. >> yes. >> seth: and having friends sneak into the house. >> yes. i did not do drugs nor did i drink alcohol. but my -- the thing that really got me going. >> seth: your vice. >> i wanted to be like a professional cat burglar. >> seth: got it. >> so, i would wait, like, literally every night -- i would wait until 2:00 a.m. and then i would creep down. and i would do like a this -- like, i knew exactly where the creeks were so i would go like this and then i'd freeze. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, wow. [ talking over each other ] >> just fyi. >> but then sometimes i just sit outside on my porch by myself.
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>> seth: so, it was just the thrill of the sneak. it wasn't the actual sneaking, you just wanted to pull a sneak off. >> yeah. and sometimes like my indian friend, neil sharma and i would just drive to white castle. there was really nowhere to go in suburbia -- >> seth: right, right. yeah, once you get out it's not like you go straight to the clubs. i once snuck out, came back, and then my dad came into my room and said, where were you? and i said, "i've been here the whole time." and he just went, "liar!" [ laughter ] and then went back to bed. >> that's terrifying. >> the disappointment would stay with me for my lifetime. >> lennon was an only child. >> seth: and you had a super cool dad too, right? >> oh, well, everything about my life was cool. >> she was in the marching band. >> i was in the marching band. i played a march snare. so, shout out to the drummers in the house and miles teller. [ applause ] yeah -- and so when it came to my 16th birthday party i thought what better way to celebrate than to have a party in my own basement with my dad djing. cassettes that i had lined up song by song. my mom catered with some chex mix and -- [ laughter ] >> in her home, in her childhood
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home because she's an only child and they care more about her than people with multiple children. >> seth: right. >> there is a sign that says -- that lennon made that says "saturday night fever zone" with an arrow pointing down to their finished basement. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> that they still have up! >> "saturday night fever" themed party so, it makes sense, right? >> seth: it's like a museum to you. >> pretty much, yeah. i'm a great daughter. [ laughter ] what can i say, man? i'm a great daughter. >> seth: you guys started having language that you can speak to one another without people fully understanding. >> it's akin to you, what you and your brother share. >> seth: yeah, my brother and i can have a conversation -- well, the other thing my brother and i can do, which really frustrates my wife, is we'll go spend a full eight hours together and then we'll come back and my wife will say, "what'd you guys talk about?" and i'll say, "i don't remember." >> yes. >> seth: i just know we talked for eight hours and it was just like super easy and we didn't like think. >> and you call each other weird ass names. >> seth: do you guys have weird ass names for each other? >> no, i would like to know what your names are 'cause they're not noonie and nanu. what do you call each other? >> seth: soupy and poshy. [ laughter ] >> what do you call your
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parents? >> seth: yarry and hurry. that's totally normal. this is all totally normal and you're overreacting. >> what? siri and -- >> seth: yarry, guys, come on. yarry and hurry. soupy, poshy, yarry and hurry. we're a family. i'm sorry we like each other. i'm not apologizing. [ applause ] you guys work with some real high end siblings. you work with "property brothers." >> okay. >> yes we did. >> so, this season we decided to really blow it out. we had a dream board. >> seth: okay. >> one of them wants to have you and your brother on as our nemesis's. >> seth: we were trying to find a time, yeah. >> but you wriggled out of it. >> we did wriggle out of it. >> but we'll have you on for season three. we'll have you both topples if it was up to us. america wants it and is demanding it. but so we -- so, one of our goals, we had this episode where the second episode where lennon's character has her first sex dream post baby. everything's working down there. >> it's the real thing for a woman when she -- >> seth: which is a big thing. >> 'cause after you have a baby you don't feel like you want anyone to touch your business. >> well your vagina looks like -- >> yeah. >> something from "little shop of horrors."
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[ laughter ] >> it also hurts. it's sore. anyway. >> we move on. >> we can say "little shop of horrors," but we can't say sore? [ laughter ] a baby came out of it, like, i don't care how it looks, i care how it feels. >> it's like a meat eating plant. >> that's how i want my sex to happen anyway. >> moving on, she has her first sex and it happens to be that she has sex with both of the "property brothers" at the same time. but we can't say the words because we're in front of the baby so we say that she got measured by the "property brothers" -- >> from both angles. >> from both angles at the same time. >> seth: yeah, do you put in -- sort of, yeah. >> and what is this? who's going where? what is this? who's up? >> let's think about it for a second. >> seth: and so -- this was in the script -- >> so, then i said my dream was, i said let's film that dream. let's tweet it at the "property brothers" and see if they will film a sex dream. >> seth: so, you did not go through representation, you went straight to twitter? >> no, we did not. yep. >> seth: how fast until "the property brothers" wrote back. >> two hours and 50 minutes. [ laughter ] >> seth: and they said, yes, we
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will shoot a sex scene with lennon? >> yes. >> and we had them in the tightest white jeans of their lives. you're welcome. >> we could see their tools if you know what i'm saying. [ laughter ] and they're working with a lot. >> they are tall men and it is proportional. [ laughter ] their yardsticks are proportional. >> and then we filled a house in glendale with dry ice. >> yes. >> so, then i'm on the head phones and i hear -- i had asked them -- >> i'm in a white lace nightgown walking through. >> like a stevie nicks video, it's so awkward. johnathan, is that you? like, they have a yardstick and they're slapping it. >> yeah. >> anyway, i hear drew say to lennon, lennon, "do you mind if i lick your neck?" and i'm like "this is the best day of my life." [ laughter ] and they did. >> seth: so, "the property brothers" wanted to go for it. >> yes. >> seth: how was it for you? >> it was wet. [ light laughter ] but they really -- like one brother licked -- i've never been made out with by two brothers. >> much less twin brothers in a
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show that i wrote. >> seth: you can't blame anybody. you can't say, this is typical hollywood that i'm being here licked by twins. you made it happen. >> we made it happen. >> yes, we did it. we did it. [ applause ] >> seth: congratulations. and congratulations on season two. one now for each property brother. a season for each property brother. always such a pleasure to have you guys here. >> thank you for having us back. >> seth: can't wait to watch it. jessica st. clair and lennon parham, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] the second season of "playing house" premiering tomorrow night on usa. we'll be right back with more "late night." ♪
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♪ >> seth: welcome back, everybody. already a household name in her native country of france. my next guest is making her eagerly anticipated network tv debut with us tonight. performing "tilted," please welcome christine and the queens. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ i will die before methusalah so i'll fight sleep with ammonia and every morning with ♪ ♪ eyes all red i'll miss them for all the tears they shed but i'm actually good ♪ ♪ can't help it if we're tilted i'm actually good can't help it if we ♪ ♪ i'm actually good can't help it if we're tilted i'm actually good ♪
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♪ can't help it if we're tilted ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i miss prosthesis and mended souls trample over beauty while singing ♪ ♪ their thoughts i match them with my euphoria when they said ♪ [ singing in french ] ♪ but i'm actually good can't help it ♪ ♪ if we're tilted i'm actually good can't help it if we i'm actually good ♪ ♪ can't help it if we're tilted i'm actually good can't help it ♪
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♪ if we're tilted [ singing in french ] ♪ i'm doing my face with magic marker ♪ ♪ i'm in my right place don't be a downer i'm doing my face with a magic marker ♪ ♪ i'm in my right place don't be a downer i'm actually good can't help it ♪ ♪ if we're tilted i'm actually good can't help it if we ♪ ♪ i'm actually good can't help it if we're tilted i'm good ♪ ♪ i'm good i'm good ♪
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♪ i'm good yeah, i'm good i'm actually good can't help it if we're tilted ♪ ♪ [ cheers & applause ] >> seth: christine and the queens. check her on tour with marina and he diamonds and keep an eye out for her debut u.s. full length album this fall. we'll be right back. [ cheers & applause ] >> announcer: the "late night" music experience is brought to you by t-mobile. t-mobile is setting music free.
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stream all the music you want. data charges do not apply. want more late night music? watch premiere performances at latenightseth.com.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to miles teller, jessica st. clair, lennon parham, christine and the queens, everybody! t-mobile, brad wilk, and of course, the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: good evening and welcome to "last call." tonight, we're stationed at the skylark for our show and we got a good one y

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