♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to tom cruise, kendall and kylie jenner, kevin eubanks, matt lauer, chrissie hynde and the roots right there ladies and gentlmen. stayed tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- wanda sykes, piper perabo, music from stromae,

featuring the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and now, here he is, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: good evening! i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? are we well? is everybody well? [ cheers and applause ] mitt romney -- mitt romney is back in the news. this weekend, romney told reporters that he thinks hillary clinton's political career has been a "monumental bust." harsh words from private citizen mitt romney. [ laughter ] congratulations to the san antonio spurs. give it up for the san antonio spurs. [ cheers and applause ]

the spurs are the nba champions after defeating the miami heat in five games. the spurs celebrated by treating themselves to an extra long practice. [ laughter ] very serious. the san antonio spurs are very serious. any pope francis fans here? [ cheers and applause ] yeah. we love pope francis here at "late night." this weekend, when asked why he doesn't use the bulletproof pope mobile, pope francis says he doesn't have much to lose. [ laughter ] he then flicked his cigarette, slicked back his hair and tore away on his harley. [ laughter and applause ] he's pope -- he's pope fonzi. he's the coolest -- he's the coolest pope we're ever going to have. [ laughter ] i was surprised to hear this. kim kardashian and kanye west this week turned down $11 million for the rights to

publish their wedding pictures, which could only mean one thing. someone offered them $12 million. 12. [ laughter and applause ] it's sad to say, but this was probably inevitable. toronto's factory theatre is staging a new rob ford musical this september. it's called "smokelahoma." [ laughter ] it's called "flaberet." it's called "crack rock of ages." it's called "the best little crack house in toronto." it's called "annie get your pipe." oh, you get it. [ cheers and applause ] you get it. it's one of those. this is crazy. true, but it's crazy. last weekend, the second annual smallest penis pageant took place in brooklyn. [ laughter ] and for the second year in a row, the winner was the guy who arrived in a porsche. [ laughter and applause ]

and between you and me, i heard the winner was just nuts. [ laughter and applause ] [ laughter ] not sure -- not sure what to make of this. this week, 35,000 jehovah witnesses are meeting in new orleans at the superdome. so, if you live in the superdome, do not answer your doorbell this week. [ laughter ] also, i'm sorry that you live in the superdome. [ laughter ] this is pretty cool. this week, the fda approved human testing of bananas that are engineered to have higher vitamin content. said monkeys, "hey, the one time we want to be tested on!"

[ laughter ] "we love bananas. humans testing the bananas? you guys! this was the time to use monkeys, you guys! man! gosh. it's just i feel like we couldn't have been clearer about how we felt about bananas. you use us for all this testing we hate." [ laughter ] "i -- if you need me, i'm going to be in the tree." [ laughter ] this is a weird story. an atlanta woman is still recovering after undergoing surgery to remove a 27 pound tumor from her stomach, which she initially thought was just weight gain. said the woman, "oh, thank god.

oh, it's just a tumor." [ laughter and applause ] this is interesting. chili's has installed 45,000 tablets in its restaurants to serve as menus and minimize interactions between servers and customers. said one chili's customer -- ♪ i want my waiter back waiter back waiter back waiter back waiter back ♪ [ laughter ] eh, we don't all have to like that one, i get it. but i like doing it, you know? [ laughter ] got a new study. we love new studies here at "late night." a new study shows that men who carry their cell phone in their pocket have a sperm count nearly 10% lower than those who don't. while men who keep their cell phone on a belt clip don't need to worry about it. they good. [ laughter and applause ]

another new study -- we're lousy with studies this week. a new study shows that people with healthy hearts tend to have better memories. and people with broken hearts tend to have memories while staring wistfully out a train window while that gotye song plays in the background. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, this is kinda cool. over the weekend, starbucks announced a new program that will pay employees to take online classes at arizona state. said starbucks employees, "we already went there. that's why we work at starbucks." [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how we doing, 8g band? lovely to see all of you. filling in this week, we have eleanor friedberger back. welcome back, eleanor. >> thank you. thanks for having me. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i don't know who watched the show -- last week. but on thursday, my good friend chris rock stopped by and -- which was just great -- what wasn't great is how he stopped by, which is he walked out behind me and surprised me during my monologue. and all i will say is that he scared me to death. [ laughter ] it was one of the scariest things that's ever happened to me. because monologues, the very use of word mono means no one else is supposed to be out there. [ laughter ] they're not duologues. and the other thing that's really bad was i told a joke and then he walked out and everybody started going crazy because they saw chris rock before i did.

and i will admit i had a moment of like "really good joke." [ laughter ] "really killed it with that joke. i thought it was a good joke, but it's obviously a great joke because people are losing their minds." worse though is when you think -- in life, you go through life thinking if something happened, you want to be the kind of guy who if, like, if something terrifying happened, you'd keep your cool. i most decidedly did not keep my cool. in fact, here's -- let's just show you exactly how i reacted when chris came out. [ laughter ] i grab my heart. [ applause ] i'm not doing a bit. i grab my heart to make sure it's still there. i'm like -- it's like the old woman in "downton abbey." i'm like the dowager countess. like, "ooh!" [ laughter ]

it was awful. like, the rest of the show, i had a pain in my side and i realized it was because he scared the life out of me. and the life was just trying to get out. it didn't want to be a part of a body that could be scared that much. at least i made a really cool noise when he scared me. because i was worried that i'd make some super weird noise. let's hear it with sound. [ cheers and applause ] oh! [ cheers and applause ] oh! [ cheers and applause ] oh! [ cheers and applause ] oh! [ cheers and applause ] just terrified. [ applause ] the good news is, i've spoken to chris, and he's agreed next time to just come on as a regular guest that i can introduce through a door and see the entire time. we have a great show for you tonight. from "last comic standing," the very funny wanda sykes is here. [ cheers and applause ] so excited to talk to her. from the show "covert affairs," piper perabo is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll have music from

stromae. it'll be great. [ cheers and applause ] you know, the world cup is in full swing, and as with any big sporting events, there's bound to be a lot of drinking. well, i read a report yesterday about a new computerized cup that will tell you when you've had too much to drink. things like this -- well, things like this always get me to thinking. you know, i turned 40 last year and sometimes i look around me and i didn't even recognize the world i'm living in. things are changing every day and well, not always for the better. and i'd like to take some time -- [ laughter ] -- to talk about how things were just a bit more simple back in my day. ♪ so, people are using computered cups to tell them when they've had too much to drink. call me old fashioned, but back in my day, if you wanted to know if you had too much to drink, you had to wait and find out in

the morning. [ laughter ] you'd look at your phone and if you hadn't sent a text that said "i miss us" to your ex and your boss, you were probably in the clear. [ laughter ] also, back in my day, you couldn't just pay to stream music on your phone using pandora or spotify. you had to steal it on napster, just like every other hard-working american. [ laughter and applause ] back in my day, we didn't wear high-tech fitness bracelets from jawbone and fitbit. all we had was the nike fuelband. maybe it couldn't track your sleeping habits, but it was just as good at letting people know that you're a sporty douchebag with too much money to throw around. [ laughter and applause ] back in my day, taco bell didn't serve breakfast. unheard of! if you were eating taco bell before 9:00 a.m., it's because you left a chalupa in your car.

[ laughter ] simpler times, simpler times. back in my day, we didn't have a black president with gray hair. he had black hair, and he looked a lot younger. hell, for all we know, he probably was. back in my day, if you had a question, you didn't google it and have the answer in a fraction of a second. no, sir, you had to ask someone. his name was jeeves and -- [ laughter ] -- he took at least a couple of seconds to get back to you. and you used those couple of seconds to spend time with your family. [ laughter ] and finally, back in my day, there was no charlotte hornets basketball team in the nba. i mean, sure there was, but they were the original charlotte hornets who then moved to new orleans and became the new orleans hornets, then changed their name to the new orleans pelicans. then there was a team called the

charlotte bobcats who changed their name to the charlotte hornets, which is different than the first charlotte hornets i mentioned before. simpler times, i guess. [ laughter ] i'm sorry i had to do that, but sometimes an old grumpy gus has got to grouch. this has been "back in my day." we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ sfx: car unlock beep.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night" everybody. we do a lot of writing here at the show, and the first draft we write is never the last. and that's true of all writers throughout history. here at "late night" we were lucky to get our hands on the first draft of some famous quotes in a segment we're calling, what else, "famous quote first drafts." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: let's start with ernest hemingway, one of the greats who wrote "write drunk, edit sober." but the first draft was actually "writ drink, edid sweber." i don't think he was taking his own advice. next, we have friedrich nietzsche, who said "whenever i climb i am followed by a dog called ego."

very insightful nietzsche. let's see his first draft. "whenever i climb, i am followed by a dog, but it's not my dog. it's my neighbor's dog. and i'm like hey, dave, i don't feel like taking care of your dog. but there i am, climbing and making sure the dog has enough food and water. it's ridiculous." [ laughter ] sounds like maybe nietzsche was going through something when he wrote that. next, we have deepak chopra, who said "there are no accidents, there is only some purpose that we haven't yet understood." and his first draft. "there are no accidents. you knew that yogurt in the refrigerator was mine, carol." [ laughter and applause ] when you clearly mark a yogurt, you're upset if someone eats it. sorry to take his side, carol. our next quote is -- oh, it looks like there's more to nietzsche's first draft. "you see, it's not that i don't like the dog. i do like the dog. and i like dave. but when i climb, i like to be by myself. climb time is nietzsche time. [ laughter ] not nietzsche and rufus time. that being said, i do want to

get a dog of my own someday but even if i do, i don't even think i'll take my own dog climbing." nietzsche, that's enough. we get it, nietzsche. our next quote is from thomas jefferson who said "i find that the harder i work, the more luck i seem to have." his first draft was a little less eloquent. "i find that the harder my slaves work, the more luck i seem to have." i hope you're groaning at him for having slaves. i'm sure that was it. next we have albert camus. "don't walk behind me, i may not lead. don't walk in front of me, i may not follow. just walk beside me and be my friend." let's see his first draft. "don't walk behind me, i may not lead. don't walk in front of me, because you walk slow and you're always stopping to look up at the buildings and it's super annoying." i have also walked behind that guy. it is super annoying.

next, we have oscar wilde. "i have nothing to declare except my genius." and his first draft, "i have nothing to declare except my genius and these hams i brought back with me from spain." so he was at the airport. he got some hams from spain and he had to declare them at the airport. spain's known for their hams, you can't blame oscar wilde. he goes to spain, what's he going to do, not bring hams back? sure you can you can buy them when he gets back to england, but then you pay a huge premium. in spain, you get them at the spanish people prices. that's where you get your ham. good on for him for declaring them. a lot of people sometimes just try to hide them in his luggage. [ laughter ] not old oscar. oscar's a straight shooter. [ laughter ] next, we've got gandhi. who said "where there is love, there is life." let's see the first draft. "where there's love, there is life. and also mad boning."

you can tell gandhi's a ladies man because he's always wearing sheets. next we have -- oh, no, neitzsche's back. "it's not the dog i don't like. it's frederick nietzsche that i don't like. all that dog wants to do is love me, but i keep pushing him away. just like i did to diane. i should call he -- i mean write her. phones haven't been invented yet." alright, neitzsche, enough. enough. finally, we have salvador dali, who said "do not fear mistakes. there are none." nice, let's see his first draft. "do not fear me steaks. i'm great on the grill." grill master dali. this has been "famous quote first drafts." we'll be right back with wanda sykes. ♪ [ kevin ] this is connolly, cameron, zach, and clementine.

we have a serious hairball issue. we clean it up, turn around, and there it is again. it's scary. little bit in my eye. [ michelle ] underneath the kitchen table, underneath my work desk, we've got enough to knit a sweater. [ doorbell rings ] zach, what is that? the swiffer sweeper. the swiffer dusters. it's some sort of magic cloth that sucks in all the dog hair. it's quick and easy. pretty amazing that it picked it all up. i would totally take on another dog. [ kevin ] really? ♪ [ kevin ] really? touch down... every morning... ten times! not just... now and then.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. our first guest tonight is an

emmy award-winning writer and comedian. she's currently executive producing season eight of "last comic standing" which airs thursday nights here on nbc. please welcome, wanda sykes. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so lovely to have you here. >> thank you. it's good to be here. >> seth: so season eight of "last comic standing." >> yes. >> seth: great judges are here. who do you have? >> we have roseanne barr, russell peters, keenan ivory wayans. [ applause ] >> seth: really funny people. >> j.b smoove is the host. >> seth: j.b. smoove, one of the all time greats. >> one of the all time greats. >> seth: a couple of different things. one, more seasoned comedians this year. not totally green comedians. >> not at all. invitation only. that's it yeah. don't just show up off the street and think you're going to come in and do some jokes.

[ laughter ] >> seth: that's very -- i'm happy as a viewer, i'm happy to hear that. >> right. isn't it the worst thing? >> seth: when people are like, "here, we're going to show you real amateurs." that's why we have like -- there's a lot of levels before it. i don't want to see people who aren't good. >> exactly. it's just like the comedy clubs where you've got to bring ten people to get some stage time. oh, you've got to bring 20 viewers and, you know -- no! no. it doesn't work like that. >> seth: what about -- and then the more importantly -- you're not letting people call in and vote. people aren't voting anymore? >> no. i don't trust america. [ laughter and applause ] no. >> seth: so you've taken away the right to vote. >> i am like the damn republicans of the competition shows. i'm stopping everybody from voting. [ laughter ] you don't get to vote. >> seth: that's very -- >> i'm blocking it. >> seth: do you -- >> no, no. america is going to screw it up. that's why, like, the music shows, america, they call in and vote and then that person wins

and nobody buys their records. nothing. >> seth: right. they have terrible taste. they just get caught up in it. >> horrible taste. >> seth: they don't back it up. you mentor comedians on this show. that's one of your roles. do you like giving young comedians advice? >> i love it. i love it. i'm not helping them write jokes or anything. it's just, like, one guy loves doing tag after tag. it's like, "look, get the funny one, and then get the hell off the stage. get a big laugh and then, 'okay, thank you, good night!'" as soon as i get a big laugh out of them, i'm out of here. almost. [ laughter ] all right, thank you! >> seth: good night, wanda sykes, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> that's how you do it. that's how you close. >> seth: are you a fan of competition shows? do you watch a lot of -- >> yes. i watch -- i love the competition shows. i like competition shows where there's a possibility of somebody dying. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] sure, that keeps your attention. >> or that "wicked tuna."

i love that. or, uh, "naked and afraid." that's my favorite one. [ light laughter ] have you seen "naked and afraid?" >> seth: that's a fairly new one, right? >> yes, have you seen it? >> seth: it's like naked survivor? >> yes. yes, but no, but it's even worse. you get -- they just drop two people off in the middle of nowhere, right? there's got to be snakes there, that's one thing. [ laughter ] there's got to be poisonous snakes. and they -- it's just like a sack and just one item. that's it. me, i would bring some drawers. that would be the first thing. [ laughter ] some drawers. but yeah, and it's crazy. the thing i love about it is you never see black people on this show. it's all white people. that's it. crazy white people. that's all you see. [ light laughter ] so i get to root for nature. like, "come on, nature! hit 'em!" [ laughter ] >> seth: hit 'em! >> yes. >> seth: you're pro snakes. >> like, "oh, yeah, pick up that rock. pick up that rock, please."

>> seth: you are -- you and your wife have twins, 5-year-old twins? >> yes. >> seth: i am recently married. obviously, kids are soon. is it a giant adjustment to your life? >> it's not an adjustment. just think about your life now, and just throw it away. [ laughter ] that's what you do. >> seth: so it changes everything? >> clear the table. it's over. >> seth: that bad, huh? >> this is it. it's that bad. >> seth: how do you know -- how affected is it? >> every minute has changed. say after this show, you decide -- you know, i think i'm going to go out and grab a drink or something with the crew, go hang out, or whatever right? once you have a kid, uh-uh. that changes. now it's like, "hey, babe, you know, i was thinking if -- okay, i'm coming home. what? [ laughter ] yeah, i'll pick up pampers. okay." that's your life. that's it.

>> seth: you used to be, like, a news junkie. is that something you can do when you have kids? >> here's the thing. before kids, all my material was political, topical, everything. now with kids, i have no idea what's going on in the world. is obama still president? >> seth: yes. [ laughter ] >> okay, that's good. because, you know, apparently people don't like him anymore. >> seth: yes. before you had kids, he was very popular, but then everything changed. >> very popular. and now, i turn the tv on. it's like, "oh, obama, ah." but here's the thing. he doesn't care. he's over us. he is so over us right now. >> seth: i agree with you. >> he's like, "it's me time now, for obama." he's taking selfies. [ light laughter ] it's the joy of life now. he's like, "i'm going to do what i want to do. hey, you know what, give me one of our guys and i'll give you five of your guys." why not? [ laughter ] he doesn't give a damn anymore.

he doesn't care. [ cheers and applause ] and did you see the five guys that we gave back? they were evil looking. really, really -- you know, we got a guy who -- they give us back the guy who can't even speak english anymore. he doesn't even know where he is. and we send them five evil looking -- i was like, "make us feel better. put party hats on them or, you know, make them look like a yearbook picture or something." but they were all -- >> seth: it's funny, they never update the photo. they always use the mean photo. >> always the mean photo, right. >> seth: that would be a real way -- when you get to gitmo, you have to take like a high school photo. like a yearbook photo. they would hate that. >> with the bible. >> seth: you'd photoshop in the bible. put your hands like this and smile. [ light laughter ] your wife is french. >> yes. very excited about stromae. oh, my goodness. she is -- >> seth: that's good. >> she's french, french. >> seth: are you bilingual? are you picking up any french?

>> i'm picking up little things, you know. because my kids, they speak french so i have to know what's going on. so right now, i just listen for the word noir. anytime i hear noir, i know they're talking about me. [ laughter ] because they're white, you know? my wife is white, my kids are white. >> seth: so if they're saying noir -- >> i go, "hey, hey! [ laughter ] something black going on. better not be me, i know that much." i'm a minority in my own home, seth. [ light laughter ] >> seth: sorry to hear that. >> i don't know how that happened. >> seth: you're a sports fan. >> i'm a huge sports fan. >> seth: did you watch the finals last week? >> i did get to watch the finals. i did get to watch that. the heat must be embarrassed. they really must be embarrassed. how are you going to let an old guy with a bald spot beat you? you know what i'm saying? >> seth: yeah, that's embarrassing. >> they should have called them the san antonio bald spot. they should have bengay jerseys.

>> seth: that's heartbreaking for those guys. and then because of your french wife, world cup? do you watch that at all? >> oh, i'm so into that. yeah, i love world cup. into it, you know, of course, she's rooting for france. i'm rooting for the u.s. but i told her -- yeah, that's right, usa. [ cheers and applause ] i told her, you know, she has to root for usa also, because i threatened her with getting her deported. [ laughter ] >> seth: you could always just trade her for five -- it's one for five right now. >> we got lots. >> seth: thank you so much for being here. wanda sykes, everybody! check out "last comic standing", thursday nights at 10:00 on nbc. we'll be right back with piper perabo. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

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uncle craig, what's the deal? oh...you can't record that many shows at once. why? you can't save every single cartoon. why? you know you can't pause the tv here and play it in another room. why?

it's time for fios quantum tv. store up to 200 hours in hd. record up to 12 shows at once. pause and play live tv, room to room. plus, watch live tv on the go with the fios mobile app. redefining what tv can be. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late light" everybody. our next guest stars as an undercover cia officer in the hit usa show "covert affairs." the fifth season premieres on tuesday, june 24th. let's take a look. >> i like it. >> what? >> you're awfuly direct.

>> comes with the job. >> hope not. >> most spies i know are lying sons of bitches. >> well i'm not most spies. >> and i would love to talk about that more. give me a call so we can chat about some, you know, other opportunities. here's my card. >> what was it about the conversation that we just had that made you think i would want to work with you. >> none of it. i'm asking you out to dinner. >> seth: please welcome piper perabo! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: it is so good to see you again. >> so good to see you, too. >> seth: we -- it's safe to say, almost no one knows this. we worked on a small independent film years ago. that's where we first met, on the set of a film. >> i know, when we met, i didn't

know you were on "snl," because i go to bed early. >> seth: sure, that's cool. that's cool. >> so after the first day, i called my agent and i told my agent, i was like, "i met the funniest guy." she's like, "oh cool." and i said who you were. he said he's "saturday night live" already. >> seth: and then you probably said, "that makes sense because he's a terrible actor." [ laughter ] >> no, you were good. >> seth: the first day all we did when we met was we made out in a car for, like, the whole day. that was our first scene. >> that happens a lot on movies. it seems like the sex scene and the makeout scene, they just do it first. you were like, "hi, nice to meet you." [ light laughter ] >> seth: we like made out so much, by the end of the day, i felt like we had been together for like five years. >> i know. i was like sort of bored of you. >> seth: yeah i am too, bye. so we go to the other people. >> it was fun though. >> seth: it was really fun. congratulations on the show. you play a spy which would be, like, my dream thing to play. >> i thought maybe you knew -- you said cia officer. that's what they'll really called not agent. when you said officer, i was

like, "i wonder if he --" >> seth: yeah, because only a spy would know that. i bet a spy would do it the other way to throw you off. >> i didn't think about that. but you must know something about it. >> seth: i know quite a bit about it. i feel like you know more, because you actually met with cia officers to research the role. >> i did. when i got the job, they were making that movie "true lies." the movie about valerie plame. and the director is one of the ep's on the show, and so i said, "can i meet val?" and after i met her, i sort of downloaded -- and she was like, "do you want to go to langley?" and so i went to the cia and met women in their 30s who are cia officers. >> seth: and you play a character who has sort of a complicated love life. did you ask them, just ask them about their spy work, did you ask them about their personal lives? i assume it's really complicated for them. >> oh, my gosh, you can't really even ask them what they're doing at work. what i really wanted to know, what kind of car do you drive, does your mom know what you do for a living? who do you go out with? if you're on a date, the opening questions are, like, where do

you live? i can't tell you. what do you do? no, no, i can't tell you. [ light laughter ] >> seth: it seems like small talk would not be very easy. their match.com profiles must be almost entirely redacted. [ laughter ] >> it's just a blank picture. >> seth: who do they date? did you find out? >> one girl that i met, one young woman. i had seen her earlier in the day, and she was wearing this hot cherry red dress and she had blonde hair. when i finally sat down with her, i said, "you know, you're sort of smoking. who do you go out with?" she was like, "well, it's hard because nobody has my security clearance. so it's hard to find guys." and she said eventually, she dates like private military contractors because they get it. >> seth: right. [ laughter ] >> that's hot. i don't know what that means, but it's hot. >> seth: i feel like every hot girl i wanted to date in high school would have said that to me. i would love to go out but i date private military contractors because they get it and you read comics.

you travel a lot for the show which is so incredible. you get to go on location. colombia, south of france. you were in hong kong last year. >> hong kong last year. >> seth: do you love to travel? >> i love it. it's one of the funnest parts of the show is to get to sort of the explore the city. we work with local crews so they can tell you where to eat and what to see and cool. >> seth: how was hong kong? >> hong kong was amazing. you know what? something i liked about hong kong was -- in pictures it's really crowded and looks super intense and it's steep like san francisco. but in real life, there's temples all over the place. these small neighborhood temples that are burning incense. the whole city smells like salt air and incense. and it's really romantic. >> seth: that's great. good to know about hong kong. it always looks crowded to me, too. >> it's very crowded. >> seth: and i don't like crowds. >> i don't really like crowds either. >> seth: that's why i only vacation in the middle of the desert. [ laughter ] but your character is a linguist on the show. >> linguist. >> seth: a linguist. your character speaks 18 different languages.

you have to at least dabble in 18 different languages. >> yeah, but i learn it mostly phoenetically. >> seth: gotchya. >> i was asking them backstage if you spoke any foreign languages. >> my mom was a french teacher and i barely do. she was my french teacher, which was rough. [ laughter ] that's a black mark on her as an educator. >> did you get a good grade? >> seth: i did okay. your mom doesn't want to give you a c, so you do the minimum to get a b-minus. [ light laughter ] and then when i lived in holland, i learned a little bit of dutch but not much. your character speaks dutch on the show, right? >> i do. but the only dutch i know is goodbye is something really cute. like chewy. or ch -- >> seth: no one said dewie. >> dewie. >> seth: dewie. >> i know, they're all like, "dewie, dewie." and then i learned how to say tulips and drugs. i know how to say tulips, drugs, goodbye. >> seth: what's tulips? >> tulipa, drugen, dewie. that's all you need to know. >> seth: oh, my goodness. >> oh, my gosh. i'm sorry about the drugs thing.

>> seth: we said -- obviously said -- we said something about the cia, we weren't supposed to. >> you said you weren't a spy. >> seth: i didn't. i didn't know. >> are you a spy? >> seth: you were never supposed to say the thing about her wearing the red dress. [ laughter ] i just want to say to anybody who travels in amsterdam, if they say drugs they'll also know what you mean. [ light laughter ] you don't have to know the cuss words. if you say it, they'll know exactly what you mean. it was a little creepy that our lights went out during this, but i feel like otherwise, it went great. >> it went great. i mean it's a little scary. but kind of exciting. >> seth: fortunately i have this chris rock scare last week, so now nothing gets to me. nothing gets to me. nothing phases me. you'll grow up too one day. piper perabo, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] the season premiere of "covert affairs" will air tuesday, june 24th at 10:00 pm on usa. we'll be right back with music from stromae. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

f provokes lust. ♪ it elicits pride... ...incites envy... ♪ ...and unleashes wrath. ♪ temptation comes in many heart-pounding forms. but only one letter. "f". the performance marque from lexus. ♪ everybody here got the lunchtime blues ♪ ♪ they need to be inspired something better than the rest.

♪ new lipton peach iced tea ♪ with that ham and cheese ♪ ♪ it tastes so sunshine-y [ carl ] ♪ drink it down and you'll believe ♪ ♪ the taste of peachiosity she likes to put a.1. on chicken but not shrimp. she also likes the european double-kiss. you don't have to like everything cheryl likes. put a.1. on whatever you want. a.1. for almost everything. almost. hey, let's talk probiotics. for digestive health? erin andrews? yeah. and did you know trubiotics is a daily probiotic that helps in two ways? it supports digestive and immune health, by working in your gut where 70% of your immune system lives. now in chewables. for the barbeque oven roasted chicken melt, now our featured footlong. with juicy chicken and monterrey cheddar, topped with tangy pickles and mmm! sweet barbecue sauce. now that's a $6 footlong special. subway. eat fresh.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> seth: tonight's musical guest is a belgian hip-hop and dance music global phenomenon whose breakout single hit number one in 16 countries. he's making his u.s. television debut with us tonight. here to perform "papa ootay," please welcome, stromae. ♪ ♪ ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: stromae! he'll be performing this friday at the best buy theatre in new york city. for tour dates, go to stromae.net. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to wanda sykes, piper perabo, stromae and, of course, the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ >> carson: good evening, everybody. it is "last call" from evr in new york. i am your host, carson daly. thanks for being here. tonight -- cosmonauts perform from south by southwest and the shanghai restoration project is the subject of our spotlight tonight. but first, we're at sadie in hollywood to meet one of the stars of "veep" and also the new kevin costner football drama, "draft day." say hello to tim simons. ♪ >> jonah is not really based on any one particular person. maybe it's just based on, like -- the worst things that i would allow myself to think? i'll just do some of those. and i -- it is kind of nice because i do personally try to err on the side of being very nice in general.