night. >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- jeremy piven, adam carolla, and music from hozier, with cleto and the cletones, and your attention, please, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show.

thanks for watching. thanks to everybody. [ cheers and applause ] great time. we are back from vacation. [ cheers and applause ] did you have a good vacation, guillermo? >> guillermo: yeah, jimmy, great. >> jimmy: did you do anything for vacation? >> guillermo: i took my son to lego land. >> jimmy: that's fun. we were off last week, but very much on this week. i have so many important things to get to already on "the bachelorette" night. i want to start with the former bachelor who's now a bachelor again. chris soules and whitney, his betrothed who last season found love on reality television have called off their engagement. i am just as shocked as you are. i thought for sure she was going to move out of chicago to live on a farm in an abandoned ghost town. the "the bachelorette" is the dating show based on the idea that anyone can seem to be a perspective future wife as long as

she is relatively quiet while all of the women around her reveal themselves to be deeply troubled psychopaths. but sometimes -- and by sometimes, i mean just about all the times it doesn't work out and it did not work out. poor prince farming. it is back to dating the animals for him. maybe he will meet a nice scarecrow and settle down. mean while, "the bachelorette" is hard at work. four gentlemen were eliminated on that show tonight. "the bachelorette's" job is to narrow a field of 25 almost entirely white guys down to one with whom she thinks she might have a future. ultimately won't get far. it is like the republican primary election. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight, they had the guys sumo wrestle tonight, which didn't go over well with tony, the healer who's very upset. you know this guy? after he got beat sumo wrestling

by a professional sumo wrestler. >> you want to talk to me? >> yeah. you know, show aggression on every competition. i would have much rather go on something peaceful and loving because that's who i am. >> you didn't have to do that. >> i'm here for you, kaitlyn. i really am. i want to be here and i want to show you the multiple sides of me. >> jimmy: you did get to see sides. men in general get very emotional when they are forced to wear a diaper on television. but tony -- tony's an odd guy. he was focused on convincing kaitlyn to give him a rose. >> getting the rose would be amazing. it's definitely worth what i have invested. stepping away from my business and my dog, my bonsai trees. i see the world through the eyes

of a child. i have the heart of a warrior and a gypsy soul. >> jimmy: same here, by the way, all of those thing. child's eye, warrior heart and gypsy soul. those are the things you have to have to raise bonsai trees. they won't grow -- actually they grow too high without them. i don't know where they get these people. ultimately tony told kaitlyn he didn't want to be part of the circus and eliminated himself before she could eliminate him. there are 14 guys left and i have no doubt one of them is the one. i think kaitlyn would be better off blindfolding herself and marrying the first person she bumps in to at denny's. i don't know if any of you are looking for property, but the neverland ranch is for sale. the neverland ranch, former lair

of michael jackson is on the market for $100 million. it including six bedroom house, movie theater, it used to have a zoo. the zoo is gone now. i think matt damon bought the zoo actually. what a dumb movie that was. such a dumb movie. i think -- by the way, it says a lot about michael jackson owning a house that had a zoo as the least weird thing about him. but if you have $100 million you could own the neverland ranch, which means rebbie has to move out of the broom closet. you don't remember rebbie? i should have went with tito. i have been off for a week. we sit through a lot of news clips every day. we sit through all of them. we want to bring you the best of the best. tonight i'd like to give thanks to robin meade from headline news that provides us with gems like this for the five star

installment of the segue of the day. >> cleaning your cat box twice a month give me a break. no wonder your house smells. if you are only cleaning it twice a month. i'm tempted to make a rude gesture at you. >> twice a month. get a couple of extra boxes, not just one. clean it every day with a scoop is what i told my husband. [ laughter ] >> some random shootings in colorado -- >> jimmy: you can't write that stuff. the big story today, as far as i'm concerned, involves the athlete formerly known as bruce jenner. at long last his female identity has been revealed. "vanity fair" released their cover shot today.

they are doing a big story and this is caitlyn jenner, i think. and she's spelling caitlyn with a c instead of k which is a slap in the face to the kardashians. my daughter katie, which is with a k by the way pointed out something to me. said he has been a woman three minutes and is already hiding his arms. i didn't know that was a woman thing. the photo was shot by annie leibowitz, the great photographer. pretty amazing when you think about it -- rarely do you see a woman over 4 on the cover of magazine in lingerie. i guess it is official. no more bruce jenner, there's caitlyn -- just caitlyn. just like "the bachelorette" that will be confusing for me. congratulations are in order for kim kardashian west and kanye west. they are expecting their second child. which means that it will be the second time that kim has participated in any real labor. [ cheers and applause ]

probably had jobs in high school. i did the math. it's possible -- it is possible the baby was conceived the night bruce jenner went on tv with diane sawyer, which would be weird. dad's a woman now. let's do it. but it's all exciting having another little one in the house. of course the world is wondering what they will name the baby. they named the first child. they should probably know their daughter northwest. we will help them name the new one. guillermo, you have everything over there? we are playing baby names bingo. what do we have? >> guillermo: south by south. >> jimmy: all right. put that in. >> guillermo: north by north. >> jimmy: that's kind of like her -- i don't know if that will work because that's the other kid's name. but all right. >> guillermo: fastest gun in the -- >> jimmy: okay.

i like it. >> guillermo: wicked witch of the -- >> jimmy: all right. >> guillermo: >> mid. >> guillermo: wild wild. >> jimmy: wild wild. how many of these are there, guillermo? >> guillermo: 12. >> jimmy: great. >> adam. >> jimmy: all right. >> father knows -- >> jimmy: father knows -- >> jimmy: father knows west. you say there's 12. >> guillermo: three more to go. >> jesus superman. >> jimmy: jesus superman. i like that one. >>. >> guillermo: #blessed. >> jimmy: #blessed. i like that. >> guillermo: and bed.

>> jimmy: bed west. okay. oh, good, right. you have to get a lot of bed west when have a child. spin and found out. >> guillermo: adam west. >> jimmy: adam west. very sweet. you know, it's funny. a lot of people don't like the kardashians because they say they don't do anything. they don't work or create anything or whatever. but when our nation's news anchors are called upon to report news like this, that's when we realize not too many of them work or do anything either. >> there will soon be another kardashian to keep up with. >> soon to be one more kardashian to keep up with. >> there may be another kardashian to keep up. >> there maybe another kardashian to keep up with. >> there will soon be one more kardashian to keep up with.

>> there may be another kardashian to keep up with. >> one more kardashian to keep up with. >> one more kardashian to keep up with. >> another kardashian to keep up with. >> one more kardashian to keep up with. >> another kardashian to keep up with. >> another kardashian to keep up with. >> another kardashian to keep up with. >> one more kardashian to keep up with. >> another kardashian to keep up with. >> another kardashian to keep with. >> one more kardashian to keep up with. >> another kardashian to keep up with. >> a maybe another kardashian to keep up with, fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we will take a quick break. when we come back, we have a new pedestrian question. so stick around. [ cheers and applause ]

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>> jimmy: hi there. welcome back to the show. jeremy piven, adam carolla and music from hozier is on the way. it is june 1st which means wedding with season is upon us. states take place during the month of june in the united states. you know which month has the fewest weddings of all of the months? >> december. >> jimmy: i have no idea. i was just asking.

probably december. there are a lot of weddings coming up which i thought would be a good subject for the pedestrian question. we went on to hollywood boulevard and asked people how many times have you been married? we'll see someone introduce him or herself and collectively based on that introduction we will try to guess how many times that individual has been married. all right? let's play. first up. >> i'm from california. my name is mary linda. >> how many times have you been married. >> jimmy: how many times do we believe mary linda has been married? i'm realize this is a mistake because everyone is hold ing up a different number. >> three. >> are you still married? >> two names and three marriages. >> james from detroit, michigan. >> how many times have you been married? >> jimmy: a lot of people are saying two. a lot of people are saying zero. detroit been married? >> are you still married? >> yes, ma'am. >> how is it going? >> is it better or worse than you imagined prison to be like? is better than prison.

>> jimmy: isn't that romantic? he should write greeting cards. >> ken from washington, d.c. >> how many times have you been >> one. ken been married? >> zero. >> i'm working with on it. >> step one, lose the "star trek" t-shirt. that's not helping. next up. >> my name is andy roberts from california. >> how many times have you been married? >> jimmy: how many times has andy been married -- four -- only one way to find out. >> once. >> are you still married? >> i have been married twice. my wife passed away ten years ago and then i met my husband

jerry. >> jimmy: i like that. we went on a real emotional roller coaster there. lucky jerry, huh? who else do we have out there? >> leslie from california. >> how many times have you been married? >> jimmy: how many times has leslie been married? there are a lot of ones and twos. >> once. >> are you still married? >> no. >> would you like to take the opportunity to trash him on tv right now? >> ronald hughes, you ain't [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know, that could -- actually could be taken as a compliment, by the way. i think we have one more. >> my name is larry. i'm originally from brooklyn, new york but i now reside in beverly hills, california. >> how many times have you been married?

>> this is a tough one. >> seven. >> jimmy: anywhere seven between and 30. how many times do we think larry has been married? >> i have been married seven times to six different women. i married one woman twice. >> how many more do you have in you? >> none. the last one has been 18 years with sean. i'm 81 years old. my get up and go got up and went. >> jimmy: thank you, larry. our thanks to everyone for playing. we have a big show. music from hozier. stick around. sfx: dodge car engines being revved

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>> jimmy: welcome back tonight, he hosts the most popular

podcast on this planet and he's got a new book too. it's called, "daddy, stop talking!: and other things my kids want but won't be getting" adam carolla is here. if you had told me 15 years ago that adam carolla would be writing a book about fatherhood and bill cosby would be defending himself against a bunch of women in court, i would be surprised. then, a very gifted irishman, this is his self-titled album, hozier from the at&t outdoor stage. tomorrow, allison janney will be here, paul dano will be with us, we'll have music from hiatus kaiyote, and i will go head to little heads with the kids who won the scripps national spelling bee. there was another tie this year. how that happens, i don't know. how do you run out of words?

but they will be here tomorrow, and on thursday night, game one of the nba finals, which means it's time once again for our primetime nba game night specials. this is the eighth year we've done this. our guests will include adam sandler, amy poehler, steve harvey, channing tatum and more. and it all tips off thursday night with 50 cent. before "game of thrones" and between "the sopranos" our first guest was the most violent and unpredictable thing on hbo. he won three emmys for his portrayal of hollywood agent ari gold and he is back with "entourage" the movie. >> what? >> did you show a cut of vince's movie to larson's son? >> yes. how do you know? >> the editor just called. apparently the kid showed up with notes. >> jeez. >> and i'm quoting that pretty boy director is lock ed out along with everyone else until i say so. >> ah! >> i'm okay to continue.

>> "entourage" opens wednesday in theaters. please welcome jeremy piven. >> jimmy: very snappy. >> thank you, sir. thank you. >> jimmy: very dapper. nice to see you breaking things and yelling again. >> it is cathartic, jimmy. i suggest it for you and everyone else. >> jimmy: do people think because this is a character -- really one of the great characters do people think you are that guy? >> never. it never happened to me. no, they do. >> jimmy: they do. >> yes, they do. when you are in people's living rooms for eight years and playing a lunatic, they get confused. and then they meet me and i'm,

as you know, a very calm guy. >> jimmy: you are a very calm guy. you are not prone to outbursts? >> not at all. it's also the kind of thing between action and cut i get to lose my mind. so i leave it at the office. i like to be a real human being. >> jimmy: glad somebody is finally being a real human being around here. >> i feel like you and i should go to the desert, hold hands and sing kumbaya. >> jimmy: i want to mention the many celebrity cameos in this film. >> yes. >> jimmy: jessica alba. is she in the movie or not? >> she is in the movie. >> jimmy: alan alda. >> he is not. >> jimmy: gary busey. >> indeed. >> jimmy: gary coleman. >> gary coleman is not in the movie. >> jimmy: weird al yankovic. >> in the sequel. >> jimmy: warren buffett. >> he is. >> jimmy: jimmy buffett. >> he is not. mark wahlberg. >> i hope this never stops. i want this to last the whole segment. >> he is not. >> he is indeed. >> jimmy: ruth bader ginsburg. >> plays ari. >> jimmy: president barack obama. >> obama is not but this is a true story. he told me it was his favorite show. i thought he was kidding and then i talked to his head of security and it indeed was.

so he was not lying. >> jimmy: either that or his head of security was also lying. >> yes. >> jimmy: tom brady. >> tom brady is in the movie. >> jimmy: while we're talking about lying. but in a gentle way. oh, you don't think they deflated -- you think the balls deflated themselves. >> i don't want to talk about tom brady's balls. >> jimmy: army hammer. >> yes. >> jimmy: mc hammer. >> no. >> jimmy: it is quite a list. i think i was on the first episode of "entourage." >> you were. you kicked us off. >> jimmy: never invited back. i'm not in the movie. >> be honest, you didn't want to be. you are a busy man, prolific. >> jimmy: that's true. >> you are killing it. you don't need us, man. >> jimmy: we'll talk about it in the desert. talking about tom brady, who is

your all-time favorite athlete? >> my all-time favorite athlete is michael jordan. i think you as well. >> jimmy: i like michael jordan but for me it is magic johnson. lakers fan. >> absolutely. okay. >> jimmy: have you met michael? >> i finally met mike. i grew up in chicago and i was a huge fan. it became a joke. i had friends who were in m.j.'s camp and so i would show up they'd say mike is here and they'd say bro you just missed michael but it kept happening all the time. i can't tell you how many times? i thought i was being punked for a decade. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. i finally get invited to a michael jordan golf tournament

and i can't play golf. so i'm going to humiliate myself in front of michael jordan. i don't care. so we get there. the first night everyone is getting to know each other. we're all out and m.j. is standing over me. and it's really, really hot night. everyone is sweating and michael is sweating on me and it is the greatest moment of my life because i just want that dna to seep in to me and give me a vertical, give me something. like i need it. this is disgusting. >> jimmy: did it have any effect on you. >> none whatsoever. >> jimmy: that's a shame. >> we talked and he invited me on his boat the next day. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> yeah. it was like make a wish. >> jimmy: did you go on the boat? >> well, i was -- we were in the bahamas and i jumped in the hotel car, not taking me too far at all. i'm driving with the guy and he lets -- he stops and i can see m.j. and they are on the boat and he said, okay, it's $40 and i said, oh, i thought this was part of the hotel. i literally don't have cash on me and he grabs my arm and he said, wait here. he is calling the police. >> jimmy: what? >> at that moment, i look and there's a car going by and people are pointing at me and i

said, stop. i got loose of the guy, ran out and they are like hey, jeremy piven and i said, can i borrow $40. they gave me $40. >> jimmy: wow. >> i gave it to him and escaped and got on the boat and asked michael jordan every question i have wanted to ask him and he answered every one of them. >> jimmy: did you tell him about the $40. >> it was the greatest day of my life. >> jimmy: what was the big one you asked and what did he say? >> the reality is you look at these guys, none of these guys have won six championships. he always embraced the moment. he never shied away from it. he crushed it. he was a guy who had a 104 fever. >> jimmy: that's the boring stuff. what did he tell you? what's the good stuff he told you. >> i don't know if i can throw michael jordan under the bus. on national television. >> jimmy: he is unbusable. he is michael jordan. a bus would try to hit him and fall to the side.

>> oh, my god. i can't tell if this will be the end. >> jimmy: it will be fine. it will be fine. >> by the way, just before you get punched in the face is the image of you saying, it will be fine. it will be fine. something smashes you in the face and you are in a body cast. >> jimmy: until that moment tell me what michael said. >> i love you and feel like you are the devil. >> jimmy: i think you summed me up right there. tell us what the devil said. >> listen, listen. you know, during those years, he had some eccentric characters around him like dennis rodman. so rodman kept wanting to go to vegas and live the dream while they are in the playoffs. you know what i mean? they kept saying we're almost there, brother. just calm down, your victory lap is an inch away but just hold it together.

and m.j. had to just, you know, go and clean up the mess a lot of times and grab dennis and pull his large naked body out of a situation and bring him to practice. that's the way life was for them. by the way, he also told me that he's never seen a greater athlete than dennis. >> jimmy: naked. >> naked. >> jimmy: jeremy piven, everyone. that's a good story. "entourage" in theaters on wednesday. we'll be right back. bend the rules of what's possible with the epic hp x360. [music] do you like cougars? terry will you shut up!

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>> jimmy: hi there. our next guest is a best-selling author, record-setting podcaster, actor, friend, and father. his new book is called, "daddy stop talking! and other things my kids want but won't be getting." please welcome adam carolla. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what's happening? >> oh, my god. can i tell you? i had a magical moment in my dressing room.

i brought my boy sonny with me. >> jimmy: there he is. good kid, that sonny. >> yeah. he's going to be taller than him in four weeks. >> jimmy: already pretty close. >> may have to turn that head set over. >> we are watching the monologue and turns to me with a child's innocence and said daddy, what's a kardashian? i thought i'm dipping you in liquid nitrogen and we are moving to amish country right now. i'm going to put a sack over your head like a camera crew in tikrit and going in the back of a van to amish country. wouldn't that be awesome to life a life that you never knew. >> jimmy: he might know now how many books have you written. >> 4 1/2. dr. drew and i wrote the first one. >> jimmy: you are like a regular danielle steel. unbelievable. i'm nervous when i read your books because there are nuggets

about me and sometimes there are things i didn't want shared. >> there are more soul search gems about you. >> jimmy: i'm in this one a few times. >> when i met jimmy, i was telling him just over lunch one day -- i think when we first met i said i have one of my buddies ray. ray comes from one of these a-hole families where they get give everyone the first initial in the family, ron, rich, ron, ray. and i look at jimmy and go isn't that obnoxious. what kind of -- would do that. and jimmy goes, okay i will tell my dad james and my mom and my brother john and my sister jill. what are the chances? you really got to announce that stuff early on, jimmy.

>> jimmy: you also forgot my kids katie and kevin at the time. i apologize. what do you know about parenting? what did you learn about parenting from your parents? >> what i figured out is just throw money at the problem. >> jimmy: that's what they say to do. >> i walk in and that's what i do. i walk in the front door and i have one of these t-shirt launcher that's use at the lakers game stuffed with 20s and see my daughter down the hall and see my nanny going to the fridge and fire off another round and make it rain every once in a while hoping a stripper shows up. so sonny knows i just throw money at the problem. the kids, first off -- today is your first day of summer vacation. >> jimmy: oh, wow. that's exciting. >> remember, when we were kids, our activity was not being at school. >> jimmy: that's right. >> that's all we had planned.

not going to the place with the desk attached to the chairs and being punished anymore. these kids are like -- i'm julie mccoy the cruise director. they are like what are we doing? what's on the docket? my daughter is like on monday i will take a zip line to zac efron's house. i'm like we have a ball of foil and we were told to kick it in though street until the street lights came on. >> jimmy: that's literally what i used to do all summer. the tube from a gift wrap and ball of foil and we'd be in the house because it was too hot to go outside hitting balls in to ceramic pictures of jesus. >> the point is -- we have to make school more miserable so they are happy. this is a lateral move. it's basically -- it is like a prison where they get paroled and circle back and say to the warden, what's up for monday? >> jimmy: sonny, do you like school? >> it's okay. >> jimmy: it's okay. >> he's not miserable. >> jimmy: like we were. >> right. >> jimmy: the title of the book

is based on something that -- not just happened but happens regularly to you and your wife sent in a videotape from a few years ago. your daughter -- how old is she in this videotape? >> it's hard to tell. >> jimmy: adam, in case you haven't noticed talks a lot. >> i talk and try to impart wisdom and everyone has completely shut me out. i get a lot of daddy stop talking all the time. but as i have to announce, which they have tuned out as well to these announcements you better hope daddy doesn't stop talking because then we have to take back the tesla and we are moving in to a one bedroom apartment in van nuys. that's what happens if daddy stops talking. >> jimmy: this is a videotape that illustrates that nicely. >> daddy has to talk. daddy has ideas. he wants to express -- >> no. no. stop. >> but let daddy talk though.

>> no. >> this is daddy's house. this is daddy's house. >> jimmy: the children have had enough. >> yeah. they have had enough. >> jimmy: what is the single most important piece of advice that you have to share with parents or even with your kids after they read this book? >> everything i learned, i learned from my parents and doing the exact opposite of what they did with me. like you do on your super bowl betting. >> jimmy: that's right. whoever adam picks go the other way. >> if it doesn't make you money and doesn't make you happy, don't do it. they are going to go off on twitter wars and all of this crazy social media stuff. they are going to be miserable. my whole thing is if they are not paying you and don't enjoy it, don't hit send. >> jimmy: what about are your parents going to read this book? >> i don't know why they should start now.

i think they are 4 1/2 in. they have a streak. >> jimmy: would you describe your parents as involved in your life? i know the answer to this, but -- >> when you write a book it goes to attorneys and the book publisher attorney has to read it because if you claim you had sex with morgan fairchild they have to make sure -- hold your ears, sonny -- they have to make sure you had sex with morgan fairchild otherwise you can't say it in your book. >> jimmy: nobody called me, by the way. >> the lawyer read the book. i got on a conference call with him and all he said is one thing, are your parents litigious people? and i thought wow, i must have talked a lot about them. >> jimmy: remember the time i was on your radio show and your dad came in and you gave him five trivia questions about you? >> i offered my dad $10,000 -- if he could answer -- the first day i did my morning radio show jimmy was there.

i said, dad, i was on a popular radio show called love line for over a decade in los angeles. you live in los angeles. if you can give me the call letters and the number of that radio station, k-rock 106.7, if you can do that, i will give you $10,000. no. [ laughter ] couldn't come up with it. number two consolation was a $5,000 question. if you can name the puppet show i did on comedy central that used prank phone calls. jimmy was wearing a crank yankers t-shirt. and i'm like maybe he saw the t-shirt. no, i have all of my money in the bank. >> jimmy: your parents probably won't be reading this. is the good news. >> let's hope not. >> jimmy: that's the book, "daddy, stop talking! and other things my kids want but won't be getting."

be right back with hozier. so what i'm saying is, people like options. when you take geico, you can call them anytime you feel like saving money. it don't matter, day or night. use your computer, your smartphone, your tablet, whatever. the point is, you have options. oh, how convenient. hey. crab cakes, what are you looking at? geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.

aha! oof! weee! slurp. mmmmmm. cinnamon. milk. cinna-milk. cinnamon toast crunch. crunch! crave those crazy squares. cinna-milk! >> jimmy: i'd like to thank jeremy piven, adam carolla and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first, this is his self-titled album, here with the song "someone new"

hozier! don't take this the wrong way you knew who i was with every step that i ran to you only blue or black days electing strange perfections in any stranger i choose would things be easier if there was a right way honey there is no right way and so i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new

i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new there's an art to life's distractions to somehow escape the burning weight the art of scraping through some like to imagine the dark caress of someone else i guess any thrill will do would things be easier if there was a right way honey there is no right way and so i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new and so i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new and so i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new and so i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day

with someone new i wake at the first cringe of morning and my heart's already sinned how pure how sweet a love aretha that you would pray for him 'cause god knows i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new and so i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new and so i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new and so i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new and so i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new and so i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day love with every stranger the

stranger the better love with every stranger the stranger the better love with every stranger the stranger the better love with every stranger the stranger the better i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new i fall in love just a little oh a little bit every day with someone new i fall in love just a little a little bit every day with someone new

[ cheers and applause ] just thinking about my baby i'm so full of love i could barely eat there's nothing sweeter than my baby i never wanted one from the cherry tree because my baby's sweet as can be