and a joyful outlook on life with the help of humor, grotesque, comedy, anecdotes, funny poems, parodies, couplets, clowning, monologues, filletons, skits, genre songs, this tsetara, my friends, you definitely need to do this, especially at the beginning of the weekend. goethe wrote that nothing reveals the character of people more than what they find themselves in.

the forts have their own comfort, they sing there in a fun way, everything there is as it should be, beautifully awesome, but what about the young girl, she is now bold, has achieved the impossible, reliable, awesome, is considered a star, so, the girl i came to the casting, but not alone, but with a sponsor. a prominent man of inexorable age, a sponsor is a person for whom it is easier to part with money than to explain where it came from in the first place?

this is literally an incubator for stars. who's watching here? well, kind of a boss. excuse me, but what do you want? yes, i really want to get a girl on tv. it’s just for me in front of my friends, so that everyone says, oh, max’s broom is on tv, broom, you’re like a janitor, i’m her sponsor, well , like a music director, you take the girl. she graduated from your music degree

school? no matter how musical she is, they didn’t take her into the regular class, but she’s talented, she’s this freak, she sings like four bascolas, yes a kitty, yes. and she was born for the stage, look at the texture, long legs, alluring breasts, huge eyes. and what a smile,

come on, design it, it’s true that it’s sexy, scary, and terribly beautiful, but you see, beauty alone is not enough, you also need to have talent, but her talents are immeasurable, she’ll now read pushkin’s poetry to you. the bony bear walks around, collects pine cones, and sings songs. excuse me, but... how old is she? 36. young

talent. well, will you take it? how is it with her? with the choreography, her hari is normal, what can’t you see, i mean, how she dances, dances, she dances super, come on, play along, and you play along with her on this guitar of yours, and what to play, play music?

check it out, maya plesetskaya, to be honest, i’m not very delighted, but i mean, i’m very delighted, but you see, you also need to have an ear, at least basic, well, let’s sing a scale, something like that, i don’t know this song, i know another one, about a cat, a song about a cat, there

lived a black cat around the corner. and no one i loved, there are a lot of black cats, but they don’t catch mice, oh my jennifer, give me this one, well... don’t rub salt in my wound, she’ll itch later, operatic voice, she’ll at least sing, she’ll even do this manserat cable, maybe let's manserat,

barcelona! barcelona! do you even know what barcelona is? i know, this is a big purse. you know, it seems to me that he has everything. with this, with the voice, it’s a little different from how you count, with the calculator, i don’t understand, what’s with the calculator? well, you

asked me what i think, i answered you with calculator. naturally, i follow the flights of humorous thoughts in literature and art. even this program obliges me to be on the modern wave. not to mention the 25 years of existence of the laughter panorama, which with all confidence, one can say, has compiled a comprehensive anthology of russian humor. recently i really liked the method of thinking and the structure of rhymes of the poet renata mucha. these are the omissions: there lived a man who was getting fatter, but in general it’s still quite good, she rhymed well, as well as with humor, we are mortal, but only the immortal koschey, believes that this is in the order

of things, says the egg to the egg, don’t judge by the face, don’t judge, one... kosminok approached the kosminok and shook his leg as a sign of respect. mama zebra got caught, how did they do it? at the top there are two eagles, drinking straight from the throat, so life in the pond is boring for a toad, let’s go there, and where is such a bed sold so that you can go to bed early and get up late, this is great, boiled sausage lives in the world, dissatisfied with itself, i tell you i beg you,

the eccentric wrote to me and put a begging sign at the end. hello, can you please contact me? goods and services, i have a problem, we bought a refrigerator while it was being washed, drank away the tv, bought a tv while it was being washed, drank the refrigerator, bought a refrigerator while it was being washed, drank the tv again, in short, or can you tell me where i can buy a refrigerator with a built-in tv, or we'll get drunk, i understand you, hello, this is an animal protection society, i personally, as a person, can get protection from you, no, yes, only?

you won’t find such a creature in the whole wide world, i understand you, bye, hello, this is the morgue, petrova, can i get on the phone, no, it doesn’t work for you, it’s in your refrigerator, but understand, he owes me, he owes me 1.0 rubles, well, well, he’s dead, just give him the phone, i i’ll tell him this, he’ll get up, it’s impossible, okay, that’s it, toot-too-too, hello, sberbank,

and you can borrow a bottle of vodka for a mortgage, well, spread it out for 20 years, i’ll try to pay it off, it’s impossible, yes, that’s it, to communications, hello, zoo, you are a squirrel, do you accept, how much per piece, no, not a single one right now, there are no squirrels in stock, no, no, listen, i’ll call you as soon as i get drunk, i’ll call you right away, you’ll come in a week, squirrel, well, there will be a breakthrough in the apartment, come, yes, i understand everything, i’ll call you back, hello, kolyan, you got a bonus, my god, how on time, it’s easy, today it’s easy to take ammunition, how many bottles? how much will it be five so we'll have a little bit of each

so we'll have how much for a week we'll have five 35 a little bit a couple of bottles 70 all 70 i 'll take that's enough i understand now wait hello zaya you 're at kolyan's dacha we we're going to go zaya what happened last time and what came on the horns?

the uaz is already bottom on the ground, but we haven’t yet sat down, that's it, i'll call you back, nadyukha, this is tolik. no, everything is fine with seryoga, he just lit a cigarette from the fire, he’s not alive, he’s just asking you to buy a pencil in which to draw eyebrows, i’ll call you back, hello, it’s imchest, it’s tolik, the problem is that our dog didn’t run after squirrels , no, no, we poured a couple

of bubbles into her boat, now she’s running, that’s it, no, that’s good, the only bad thing is that she’s running after them through the treetops, i got it, i’ll call you back, hello semyonov, you go to church, light a candle for the repose of my soul, the cuckoos i killed, you i was mistaken, it’s the cuckoos, in short, i’m telling you briefly, look, i’m walking through the forest, the cuckoo is cuckooing, i’m a fool, i tell her, cuckoo, cuckoo how long does my mother-in-law have left to live? no, my nerves are strong, but when she cooed for the twenty-fifth time, i shot her, look, i understand, i’ll call you back, hello, transmission in the animal world, i just have one question, i

looked at myself in the mirror this morning, now... i’ve been consulting the red book for 2 hours and still don’t understand who i saw in the mirror, ugh, that’s how i live exhausted, always on my phone, on no time to go to work. i will dry this rose, doctor, please save my son, they say the hit was an suv, it was expensive, but he immediately disappeared, and this is chaos, will you go to the zone,

or should we get you off again? has he been detained yet? no, it's unlikely to work. leonov's nephew, regional prosecutor. sergei leonov. do you know him? your nephew hit a motorcycle with my son in an suv. make an appointment in due course. don't pretend that you don't recognize me. love overcomes everything. from monday on rtr. kalinan belek. a place where time stands still, immerse yourself in sophistication and luxury, forgetting about time on the shores of the mediterranean sea. discover true excellence by making your dreams come true. hotel kalinan beleg, where life

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of coral reefs and the sea. immerse yourself in a world of unforgettable experiences at rixsos premium seaguy. rixas premium seagate bourbon stirsman product of stellar group. we have two wonderful teams in our studio presenting a fantastic film based on stories by kira boluchev, 100 years ago, they travel through a century, this is of course

a russian folk kayak, let's karate to find the right answers, i would really like to answer on saturday, but we will answer, perhaps, okroshka, mm, we need to be simpler. hut who is guaranteed space success? i take responsibility for this answer. our intrigue is powerful. 100 to one, 100 years from now. on sunday. on rtr. dark humor, humor, humor. it can be different too. i prefer the option. by the fact of his humor he makes it clear to the listener that this is just a joke, and not mockery of something that is being talked about, then black

humor can become a sign of a bright mind, well , various jokes come to mind in this direction, please give me a mourning ribbon, wide or narrow, and the point is that the closer the deceased was to you, the wider the ribbon should be. oh, i don’t even know what to say, my aunt died. who deprived us of all our inheritance: you have black threads, as they say, to hell with you, not an apartment, thought the grandmother, blowing out 110 candles on the anniversary cake. the girl was washing herself in the bathroom, and her boyfriend was in the room looking at the objects on the nightstand that she had left, false nails, eyelashes, a wig, false jaws, he cried and prayed, lord, save me from what is about to come out of the bath, female monologue,

you know what i’ll tell you, i have no sense of humor at all, so... and my mother helps us all the time, but if she gets a tooth, she won’t be able to help, what kind of

disgrace is this, he becomes sour, oh, he gets upset, melancholy with you, mortal nina, suddenly inform me that i was kicked out of work, oh, i'm such an ass... on the floor: how? and what to feed the children? he laughs: it’s a joke, today is april 1st! wow, a prank, somehow jumped out from around the corner, putting on my black stocking, robbery, hands, i collapsed on the floor again. he waved his hand, cried, didn’t say anything, he was bored with me, that i really had no

humor at all, it’s not good, then i thought, let me play a prank on him, but to make him have more fun, well, it’s okay that it’s april 3rd, it’s still april . he sleeps very soundly, you see, i tied a long stick to his back, and the end of the stick to the bed, bandaged him all over, he woke up in the morning, wants to get up, but he can’t, i say, sasha, thank you, god, i opened my eyes, because you’re lying unconscious, i thought that i wouldn’t have to say goodbye, he

lost his tongue. he widened his eyes and asked what happened? i say, you fell at night, broke your spine in three places, don’t move, don’t move, otherwise you’ll lose consciousness again, he’s lying there, doesn’t understand anything, my neighbor agreed to help me, she’s standing ready outside the door, i told her: "you'll go, just ask how sasha’s health is, and she doesn’t feel at all, she flies in screaming, sasha, god, could live longer, what age are you, nina, i brought you a black cloth, hang up the mirrors, oh, sasha. sasha,

what grief, listen, i have a request , if you see my mother in the next world, tell me that everything is fine with nikolai, yes, we are watering her flowers, the cat is alive, no, no, look, he is leaving, he is already leaving , i say, no, not yet, get out of here, don’t bother us saying goodbye. she came out, and my face was bleeding, i told him: “sash, please tell me how we can live without you? you don’t have any money, maybe you put it aside for a rainy day? he has tears streaming down his face, he says, he can’t show his fingers under the closet, i found 3,000 there, his stash is lousy,

i hit him on the cheeks a couple of times, why is he to me, but don’t lose consciousness, otherwise you close your eyes, it’s not good, he says, i’m not closing it, i’m generally feeling pretty good, the neighbor flies in again, nin, did i remember, i have a friend in the morgue, his best friend works at the cemetery, “we can bury him right away today, i’ll get out of here, then we’ll decide, after lunch, get out of here, give us to say goodbye like a human being, she came out, my, he says, nena, it’s strange how my head is clear and i’m hungry, i tell him, this always happens

before death, this is the last burst of strength, they call it, now, now, now, wait, i’ll tell you i’ll put a hot water bottle on his feet, you’ll still live for about 15 minutes, i brought him a hot water bottle with ice water, put it on him, well, it’s better for you, he says, his feet are getting cold, nin, then let’s forgive.

so much, before getting married, oh, i added to his joy, he says, nin, i don’t understand anything, i feel good, neighbor flies in, helps out all the time, sasha, but you don’t want to sell your organs, well, you don’t mind, and the money for the family, the memory of you is alive, will remain, he says: no, i don’t want to, the neighbor says, nin, what did i want to tell you , after all , my nikolai is the same height as yours, so what, what, sasha’s clothes will remain, so what’s the use of her going to waste, guys?

yours have outgrown your father, and the major who is looking after you is small, well, right away, what else? the neighbor says to him: “sasha, lie down for god’s sake, there’s no time for you now, this is no longer for you.” concerns me, i tell her, what are you doing, what are you doing, why aren’t you letting us say goodbye, and so there are five minutes left, get out of here, my friend says, nina, there’s something wrong here, i have such a..." burst of strength, so me he's drawn to you, i tell him, do they

really think about this before they die? humor has appeared, now he wants to prank me, he always screams, nin, i’m around the corner... i’m standing, now i’ll scare you, he’ll scare you, but i just laugh, and he was also glad that i

had a sense of humor. someone joked that dancing is a sign language translation of music, so there are all sorts of dances in the world, for example, capaeira, a brazilian martial art accompanied by music, that is, a kind of dance with elements of a fight , there are bees dancing. drunken dancing, dancing in the rain, dancing under a lantern, dancing under the moon, dancing on the ceiling, in one movie it was, dancing on ice, dancing on a table, and there are also

lap dances, that's what.

but your king for me, you like king tired again, you love me, but your king, the king, but the king, come on, come on, everybody,

come on, come on, everybody, come on, come on, everybody, one woman told me, i noticed in myself that if i talk to a person who has a sense of humor, then i start joke in response, if it’s the other way around, then the game disappears for me. that's right, a good joke told to you puts you in a cheerful mood and makes you want to please in return. i will ask that our village be disconnected from television, otherwise people will die,

but before everyone was normal, i’m like an antenna they put on a tv show for us, all the stupidity started, they organized dancing with the stars, here aunt tanya and aunt tonya, well, they were sitting there celebrating some kind of holiday, either radio day, or just a day, they celebrate every day, then it’s like on tv. the flight crackled from them, when they were still

standing on the ground, when they rode out on it on bent skates, they went under the ice, like the germans on lake chutskoye, and why go far, so my wife, tosya, decided to cook pizza from seafood, who doesn’t know, pizza is an unwrapped pie.

of course, the dry food is not a fountain, but i washed it down with milk, it’s fine, i don’t understand how italians can eat this pizza all the time, after all this seafood i foolishly went to the disco. i won’t go into details, but

after the disco everyone calls me gasprom, and they also show such recipes on tv, tv is the enemy of man, i’ll tell you, but this one was invented by vasya, a muscleman, well, he sways from side to side constantly. i watched on tv how guys choose brides for themselves, i decided to get married too, i was tired of swinging alone, probably, he decided to choose the bride for a reason, but as a test purchase, to grab the best one, and we have brides for marriage, there are three of them in total, everything is true as a selection, 90 60-90, this is their age. when they found out that

vasya was going to choose brides, they began to prepare for their brother’s sacrament, they began to dress up, preen themselves, make a housing problem appear on their face, everything was like on tv, a major renovation of the facade, great, they then dressed up, watched the program “fashionable sentence”, they were very strong then... they sentenced themselves to fashion, everything that was in the chests, everything dressed, my god, my dear, before that the old women were like old women, well, a fashionable grandmother, wearing makeup, as soon as the grandson saw him, he began to pee again, although he was spoken to about 30 years ago, a man came home from work, was sleeping, tired, and how did she greet him? i woke him up, with black nail polish, black lipstick on his lips, two teeth at

the edges glistening in the darkness, as soon as i saw him, i knew who had come for him. i regretted that i woke up, my grandson often doesn’t sleep, he’s been standing in the corner for two months now, dozing for about 10 minutes with an ax or a shovel, doesn’t sleep anymore, oh, i’m a woman, also a bride, spare, last, i prepared the rejuvenating ointment according to malakhov’s recipe, the surgeon, god forgive me, what’s on tv, well, i cooked a saucepan. he went there for something on business, well, he looked, the pan was standing there, the smell was good, it carried throughout the whole village, well, he thought it was borscht, salted it, sprinkled it, began to slurp it, well, at least he didn’t gobble up the whole pot, the emchis people saved it, stopped

the rejuvenation, it went quickly for him, now a forty-year-old man looks about 16 years old. the eldest, the body has not been touched by rejuvenation, but the brain has been seriously affected, the consideration is, now what a three-year-old, i’ll go and tell them to pull it out this antenna, otherwise they’ll go crazy and mess around here, i’ll go, the bus has already arrived. the tests are perfect about pregnancy, everything is fine, you and your husband go to the sea, today i’ll come to the institute and give him a surprise,

this is my passion, how can you not understand it, passion, any problem is cured by the sea. you need to unwind, take a ride on a yacht, the sea, the sun, vitamin d. you are a very beautiful girl, you dream of having a great romance, forget it, i’m not like that, what hotel is she in, i want to save our family, he came with her, with his mistress, make your lenya i’m jealous of what you have with my wife, your marriage is torn at the seams, it’s an overseas premiere, our lives can’t just fall apart like that, i need to think. today on rtr. cleaning floors is a tedious and messy process that turns into torture for you, your back and your arms. forget about exhausting cleaning on all fours. stop

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renovation, a slight movement of the hand, we are making three different functional zones from this absolutely faceless room, ideas are overflowing, we want to turn the radiator into an art object, there will be plenty of surprises and work a lot, plans are turning into projects before our eyes, i love growing. real stone flowers will soon bloom in the living room of our heroes, after dismantling much will become clear, and dreams become reality, yes, look, let us into your home, big changes, every sunday on rtr. every dream has the right to fly, but a soft landing is not guaranteed,

especially when the criminal code prevents wonderful dreams from coming true, then the dream doesn’t work, i saved money for a rainy day, the rainy day came and took my money, life flies, but the hat blows off, but not let's forget that everything in life is temporary, if everything goes well, enjoy it, because it won't last forever, if everything is lousy, don't be sour, it's not forever either, time will pass, and maybe life will show that everything was only for the better, i’ll start abruptly, they say that i’m strange, how strange you are, how strange you are, and why am i

strange? or maybe because i have galoshes on one foot and felt boots on the other, yes, they said on tv, in some places it’s raining, in others it’s snowing. maybe it seems strange to you that i walk around with a bucket? it's so convenient! on the bus, all the seats were taken, i sat down on a bucket, it started to rain, the bucket was on my head, hooligans came at night, i hit my turnip with a bucket, a universal thing, i’m not the only one, between other things. yes, i remember one well-known oligarch always carried a bucket in his big car, he drinks beer from it, from this bucket.

yes, i recently complained, before, he says, wow, i could drink a bucket of beer, now only half a bucket, i was sick or something, but no, my muzzle can’t get through any further, you know, just like that, oh, i got married, it’s gone again, how strange you are, what you... she's 42 years older than you, so what? but what a savings on wardrobe, robe, slippers, hot water bottle, everything, he doesn’t talk on the phone for a long time, he can’t hear well, they ask where the keys are, replies, thank you, i’ve already eaten. when i married

her, i looked at her, well, in general, an otter , an otter, and then i looked at myself, but nothing, girl, nothing, maybe i’m strange, of course, but in my opinion, i’m not alone, i’m like that, i went out for a walk , i was bitten by a dog, i'm going to court. it turned out that judges can be strange when they find out that a dog is not easy, and a very big boss, they gave me 2 years, the prosecutor easily proved that it was i who bit the dog because i went out into the street without a muzzle, like

that. well, our housing and communal services are not strange, are they? when asked why the heating was delayed for a month, the minister of energy said that it is a shame not to know physics. when water heats up, it expands and doesn’t fit well into pipes, that’s how clever it is. by the way, they decided to celebrate in our village. halloween, you know, this holiday of horrors came from america, so one pensioner came to this carnival holiday, came dressed as a housing and communal services receipt, received a prize, of course, i may be strange, but

it seems to me that our people, everyone. you need to give bonuses, your birthday has a month of free heating, bring a friend and get a week of hot water, cashback in the form free electricity, call a plumber, get a second visit for free, this will be fun. this is life, you will, of course, be very surprised by my strange act, but for the new year i wrote a letter to santa claus, grandfather frost, a strange man from omsk is writing to you, i don’t need anything from you, just tell me, please, what kind of creature every year

he orders from you at a higher price. communal apartments, travel on public transport, groceries, why exactly do you react to his desire in the first place, i was once driving through moscow at night, i couldn’t pass, the bikers gathered, they were competing, i looked...

why do you have an old ticket from the month before last? well, i’ve been going for a long time, for him i’m strange. for me, i was witty in the elevator, which was on the top floor, on the last floor, i emphasize, a man asked me, are you down, no, damn it, sideways, i recently went to the cinema, i thought that i should sit at home, watch tv alone, i should do it like before in... but along with everyone else, and the movie turned out to be uninteresting, i’m sitting, bored, and mechanically put my hand on my neighbor’s knee,

which means she’ll hiss, take it away immediately hand from my knee, count to five thousand. spread a thick layer of honey on your head, the thicker the better, like this, wait 3 days, then clap your hands hard, the flies

will fly away, but the paws will remain. yes. we have a lot of strange things, a lot, a lot of things, in the buffet i ask, girl, do you have any juice, she says, buttock juice, i say, well, give me the buttock, people are bad, we can get by, my life, tin, i remember, small i was, i was sitting in kindergarten and so... i wanted to go to school quickly, well, so many, probably, yes, at school i wanted to go to college quickly, quickly, quickly, to college, to get to

work quickly, now i’m sitting at work and thinking, why didn’t i sit in kindergarten, huh? i remember the times when i was a kid, well , the elders won’t let me lie, my mother could send me to the store with one ruble, and i would return with three kilograms of potatoes, two loaves of bread, three liters of milk. half a kilo of cheese, a pack of tea, a dozen eggs, a stick of sausage, three ice cream bars, that’s it, now everything has changed,

they have installed surveillance cameras in stores, you can you say, your reasoning is strange, good sir, isn’t it strange what is happening in the world, the world has gone crazy, sanctions, sanctions, sanctions, the state of colorado is recalling its beetles from russia, the poles want to demand payments from russia per event. 1613, during which ivan susanin led the polish-lithuanian invaders into the dense forest, and

i’ll tell you this, remember biden, there’s gas over there, by the way, it happened recently... biden comes to europe, well, the nato summit, and they’re sitting there scholz and macron are playing cards. into rubles and yuan, by the way, if scholz is an offended sausage, then biden is expired, like this, oh, in strange times we live, good gentlemen, you are amazed, but for all that. moreover, do not

rush to laugh down on an eccentric, a strange person who comes your way, maybe this is a person who just wants you to be in a good mood. i am your new neighbor, and part-time, a new district police officer . launch, we immediately agreed

to submit an application, what a wedding, come with us, guys, this is my girl, it was yours, it will be mine, the pain, sasha, sasha, survived, it’s already good, can i hug you, fear, i don’t advise you to complain, if you blurt out a word anywhere, we’ll bury you in the forest, despair, no, no evidence, no testimony, yes they will. please do not interfere with an honest, fair investigation, then you are now for, without explanation, that it was honest, do not be afraid of anything, tanya, you are an amazing woman, love will overcome everything, from monday on rtr, they say you need to prepare for a vacation. you need to be able to rest,

you need to rest beautifully, but you need to rest where sun and sea, on the first coast, where everything is inclusive, except the head, we know everything about vacation, relax, anex, romca, product with... titanic luxury.