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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  March 7, 2024 11:35pm-12:38am PST

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thailand. thai customs even found on endangered red panda in the bags. they also found a monkey, cats, a lizard, squirrels, birds, and bats. thai officials arrested six people accused of trying to smuggle the animals from thailand to india. >> i would have guessed an airport in florida, not india. >> oh, man! >> miami, tampa, orlando, jacksonville. that would have been my first ten gues s. >> >> super bowl lviii was the highest rated tv program all time thanks in part to its simultaneous on the gloating. spongebob and patrick giving commentary which helped bring in a new generation of fans. >> and now to reach a new
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generation of-footers, the biden team has decided to try the same thing. >> are you ready, congress? oh, who lives in the white house thing. >> are you ready, congress? oh, who lives in the white house "the late show plus, stephen welcomes john dickerson and musical guest de la soul. featuring live louis cato and "the late show" band.
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and now, live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] >> stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: it's electric. thank you, my friends. thank you, my friends. thank you! ladies and gentlemen. thank you one, thank you all down here, up there, all around the world. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert.
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as you can see, we couldn't put that up with wasn't true, we are live tonight! and so is joe biden! more importantly, we are awake. thanks to our sponsor too much caffeine. "too much caffeine: we have the shakes." coming into tonight's speech, critics said biden's state of the union challenge was to dispel "old-man vibes." really? in congress? kinda hard to fight off the old man vibe when you're speaking to a room that looks like an open casket convention. well, tonight, joe biden delivered what has been described in the press so far as fiesty, fiery, heated, supreme, crunchwrap. i'm sorry. it's really late and i'm hungry. leading up to the big speech, biden hunkered down
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at camp david with six of his closest advisors including mike donilon, the aide who has the best understanding of mr. biden's voice. it's very important. his advisers have to understand his voice. [loudly] starts up here and then he [whispering] comes down here and tells you he's not joking. not joking, folks. that's number one. number two: he likes making lists of two things. it was kind of a tense night. it feels like it might be the last time we get a state of the union. depending on what happens in november, next year might just be a kid rock concert and an immigrant catapult. the media -- i hope not. the media spent the day trying to get any peek into biden's state of mind. politico got the huge scoop that the president had chicken parm for lunch. and then he spoke for an hour? when i have chicken parm, i clear my calendar for 24 hours and i dim the lights. i hear you asking,
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you're saying "steve, were there any thirsty-ass bitches in the audience?" the answer is yes, because, thanks to rules giving former members of congress floor access, george santos attended the state of the union. come on! [booing] you can't just go back to your old job like you never left. unless you're jon stewart. keep it up, jon! you're crushing it! [cheering] on the democratic side, they wore white. on the republican side, they were white. ahead of the president's arrival there, members of the supreme court filed in. interestingly, justice clarence thomas didn't attend. nice to know he's willing to recuse himself from something. then the big moment, the president's entrance. he took his sweet time
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getting down the aisle. as the president made his way, the crowd chanted >> four more years! >> four more years! >> four more years! >> stephen: four more years! of walking to the podium! then he finally got to the podium, where speaker of the house mike johnson got the privilege of standing next to vice president kamala harris. and because he was standing that close to a woman, his son got an alert on his phone. [laughter] the president started off by invoking history. >> in january 1941, franklin roosevelt came to this chamber to speak to the nation. >> stephen: and he said, "hey, joe!" [laughter] joe talked about the war in ukraine, and introduced the latest member of the nato alliance.
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>> and today we've made nato stronger than ever. just this morning, sweden officially joined and their minister is here tonight. ♪ ♪ >> stephen: biden touted his economic record and struck an optimistic tone. >> i came to office determined to get us through one of the toughest periods in the nation's history. we have. it doesn't make new -- news, but in a thousand cities and towns, the american people are writing the greatest comeback story never told. >> stephen: and in one city, one american wrote the greatest love story never told. it's called "this is me...now." it features j.lo working in something called a heart factory and post malone and jane fonda play zodiac signs. i will not be taking questions at this time.
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but i have so many questions. biden emphasized that he has faith in america. >> i say to the american people: when america gets knocked down, we get back up. >> stephen: yes! we get knocked down. but we get back up again. they're never gonna keep us down. we need a whisky drink. we take a vodka drink. we take a cider drink. we take a lager drink. because this speech is very long and booze makes it more fun. [cheers and applause] you drink a whisky drink. we drink a lager drink. biden took aim at high-priced prescription drugs. >> americans pay more for prescription drugs than anywhere in the world. it's wrong, and i'm ending it. great. they should definitely make it cheaper to buy whatever amphetamine they shaved on top of joe's chicken parm before giving the speech. then joe biden addressed shrinkflation. >> in fact, the snack
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companies think you won't notice if they change the size of the bag and put a hell of a lot fewer, same size bag, put fewer chips in it. no, i'm not joking. it's called shrinkflation. >> stephen: joe's right. for instance, doritos hasn't changed their price, but the bags have gone from 9.76 ounces to 2.25 ounces, which translates to five fewer chips. burn it all down! we will hunt you! not messing with my doritos! we will hunt you to the ends of cool ranch and have our flavor-blasted vengeance! you have driven us doritos locos! thank you, citizen. everyone's mad about shrinkflation. even cookie monster recently tweeted... "me hate shrinkflation! me cookies are getting smaller!"
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it hits everyone on the street. big bird is now just bird. that's why, tonight, biden touted a new task force to take on "unfair and illegal" corporate pricing. which means we'll finally get a crackdown on all the convenience stores selling arizona tea for more than a dollar. it says 99 cents right on the can! burn! [cheering] fun on a live show. then joe recalled a commercial that maybe exists. >> you probably all saw that commercial on snickers bars. you get -- you get charged the same amount and you got about 10% fewer snickers in it. >> stephen: he's right. i cannot tell you how many times i've opened a snickers bar and there's only one snickers bar in there. it's unacceptable.
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it's gotta stop! where's my pitchfork? biden also took on our economic rival, china. >> i've made sure that the most advanced american technologies can't be used in china. >> stephen: you hear that, china? you will not be getting the kfc "chizza!" staying on technology, biden also gave a stern warning about ai. >> harness the promise of ai to protect us from peril. ban ai voice impersonations and more. >> stephen: really? ban ai voice impersonations? that's not what he said on the radio this afternoon. jim? play it. >> i love ai voice impersonations. the real joe biden who married jill. lick ice cream. love train. choo-choo! >> stephen: i think that's what he said.
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that's what i heard. finally, it was time for biden's closing remarks. >> my lifetime has taught me to embrace freedom and democracy. a future based on core values that have defined america: honesty, decency, dignity, equality. to respect everyone. to give everyone a fair shot. to give hate no safe harbor. now, other people my age see it differently. the american story of resentment, revenge, and retribution. that's not me. >> stephen: yes, other people his age see a different story: it's called "yellowstone." they love that show. and he finished strong with an inspiring message about america's days ahead. >> i see a future where defending democracy, you don't diminish it. i see a future where we we restore the right to choose and protect our freedoms, not take them away.
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i see a future where the middle class finally has a fair shot and the wealthy have to pay their fair share in taxes. i see a future where we save the planet from the climate crisis and our country from gun violence. above all, i see a future for all americans! >> stephen: the last time an old man was telling us that passionately that he wanted to take us into the future, marty mcfly invented rock and roll. get in joe biden's delorean, america! great scott! we got a great show for you tonight! and it's live, live! my guest is john dickerson. but when we come back, it's "meanwhile"! live, live!
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[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪
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>> stephen: give it up for louis cato and "the late show" band, everybody. right there. louis. oh, louis. >> louis: oh, stephen. >> stephen: exciting night. >> louis: right here, right now. >> stephen: we need a lot of energy for it. these people know we all get up at 6:00 a.m. at the late show. we are joke farmers, really is what we do for living. did you catch that katie britt? did you catch her? [booing] no, no, no, no. seems like a sweet kid and i hope she aces her s.a.t.s. coming up in just a minute, a guy i really want to talk to about the state of the union, the greatest political analyst in the game right now, cbs's own, mr. john dickerson will be right there just a moment, america's sweetheart. folks, if you watch the show you know i spend most of my time right over there, after wandering the day's news forest, harvesting the most topical story ebony to hand-shape into a fine chest inlaid with lapis lazuli with
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a parapet set with pietra dura lozenges all resting on eight inlaid pilasters to create for you the breathtaking 18th century duke of beaufort cabinet that is my nightly monologue. but sometimes, just sometimes, folks, i wake up behind an abandoned petco where i fish some greasy cardboard out of a culvert and staple it together with rusty nails i ripped out of a discarded shipping pallet, then fill it with my belongings and head for the docks dragging the transient's bungle trunk of news that is my segment... >> "meanwhile"! [cheers and applause] >> stephen: right there. that's the only vehicle i need. meanwhile, starting this week, for the first time ever, u.s. students will take the s.a.t. entirely online and the test is also one hour shorter, has shorter reading passages, and uses digital tools, like a highlighter, a graphing calculator, and a bookmark to go back to skipped questions. and to make it even easier,
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they've changed the test by -- minecraft. the test is just minecraft. meanwhile, and this is pretty adorable. on tuesday the bellagio fountains in las vegas paused for rare visitor -- this yellow billed loon, one of the ten rarest birds! what are the odds of that? seriously, what are the odds, 'cause i had, like, 80 grand riding on a blue-winged warbler. they're gonna take my thumbs! meanwhile, pittsburgh nudists have brought back one of their favorite activities, announcing that "balls-out bowling" is back, where nudity is required, although women can wear bottoms. unfortunately, they have to rent those bottoms from the shoe counter. don't worry. he sprays them. although everyone will be in the buff, the event planners warn that "sexual activity
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is not permitted." that's a good call. but i'm assuming that rule only applies to sex with other people, so... ya know, fill in the blanks. [laughter] we're all adults. meanwhile, a major scandal in long island where a bakery's vegan doughnuts were actually from dunkin donuts. customers became suspicious when the donuts tasted good. meanwhile, to create a new dipping sauce, hidden valley ranch and cheez-it are finally joining forces. i mean, it's not how we thought the rapture would happen. but... meanwhile, linkedin suffered a widespread outage on wednesday. oh, no! then how did people synergize ceo to innovate analytics branding for b2b c-suites?
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meanwhile, for five years, a new york city man managed to live rent-free in a landmark manhattan hotel by exploiting an obscure local housing law. and this super-squatter has been identified as one mickey barreto. i'm pretty sure a guy named mickey barreto can live wherever he wants in new york. it's right there on the statue of liberty, "give me your mickey barretos, your sal vincenzos, your my little cousin vito marianaccis yearning to breathe free. oh! i'm libertyin' here!" hey! that's how the statue of liberty talks. after being arrested, barreto says he was surprised when police showed up to the apartment with guns, and he said to his boyfriend, "i thought you were doing something for valentine's day to spice up the relationship until i saw the female officers."
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wow. i gotta say, i envy any relationship where a strike force in tactical gear breaks down your door and your first thought is, "ooh, this is probabl a sex thing." i like it. mm-hmm. take -- what? what? meanwhile, a new iphone update includes new emojis like a lime wedge, nodding and shaking heads, and a mushroom. no! stop it! too many! we already have all the emojis we need. thumbs up, thumbs down, sex stuff, and part of a bullet train. i can say anything i need to with these. like, are you cool with us having sex on the bullet train? we'll be right back with john dickerson. like, are you cool with us having sex on the bullet train?
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♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight is a brilliant journalist who serves as cbs news chief political analyst, and the anchor of "cbs news prime time with john dickerson." please welcome back to
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"the late show," mr. john dickerson. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] sean, it's good to see you again. always nice to chew the fat over these big political events with you. you know these things better than anybody out there. and you are specifically this presidency, he wrote the book "the hardest job in the world." about the presidency. the state of the union is a unique presidential tool. it's also a spectacle. and a ritual prayer before we get into the nuts and bolts of what biden talked about tonight. why is this speech such a meaningful thing for the presidency and wide tonight was a specifically meaningful moment for joe biden and this presidential election year? >> john: it's meaningful because it's in the constitution
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so that gives it some weight. >> stephen: the speech isn't in the constitution, just a state of the union should be sent from the president to congress, right? he doesn't have to give the speech. >> john: he has done his homework. exactly right. in fact, we're going to go down that road. you don't have to give the speech in person. thomas jefferson said it smacks too much of the monarchy. why does that matter? he didn't give it in person. he wrote it. he also thought it was a hassle to walk over there. but this is important. that's what he wrote in his letter. this is what's really interesting to me is when you look at that and then woodrow wilson brought it back doing it in person than lbj figured out he knew how to put on a show its way made into a theatrical moment. the former president is arguing he should have total immunity in the office. this speech, that thomas jefferson looked too much like the monarchy so i don't want to give it in person, that's the way the founders thought about the office. it shouldn't look anything like a monarchy, so the idea that a president would have total immunity in an office that
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thomas jefferson thought would look too much like a king if you spoke before congress, that gives you a sense of the distance between what a claim of total immunity is on the way the founders thought about the job in the beginning. >> st[cheering] >> stephen: well framed, well framed. >> john: i didn't realize we were going down that road so fast. >> stephen: i want to go down all the roads with you. for joe biden, why was this an important moment? >> john: ringed around the capitol where joe biden had gone to so many previous state of the union work 8-foot high black fences as a result of the attack on january 6. this speech given in that place that marble hall that was attacked on henry six, 2021, started his presidency. i mean it didn't -- he it wasn't inaugurated yet but it started this. of time that we are in so every ritual of democracy that takes place in the healthy fashion reknits those bonds that were torn up on the sixth and she was ther to remind people that that
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happened that those stakes are still real. >> stephen: he talked about a lot of stakes. he came in really hot tonight. he started off with fdr in 191. what's the purpose there? >> john: if you are going to set the stakes for clinical moment, you can't set them any higher than 1941 fighting before world war ii. he set them immediately, he started in fifth gear. >> stephen: and he drives a corvette. >> john: right. he knows fifth gear. the earlier historical moment that you would pick that has equal weight is the civil war and he name checked that too. why? he's calling on the ghosts of january 6th, which aren't even ghosts. there were people in that room there that help that happen including -- >> stephen: including mike johnson over his shoulder who was trying to get the fake collectors allowed. >> john: one of america's leading political parties in a democracy has just dominated or is going to nominate in a democracy to be their candidate someone who has worked actively
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to undermine democracy. so that's real. that's happening. that's what this election is right now. that's not -- i mean, if you look at what was said by the leaders of the republican party about donald trump's role in january 6th, they said he was responsible for it. as mitch mcconnell said in the past, he fed the mob lies, that it was a disgraceful dereliction of duty. that's not who is joe biden's opponent and so it is perfectly reasonable to raise the greatest attack on democracy at that building since 1814. >> stephen: as long as you brought up the name, i wasn't going to bring up mitch mcconnell but he set all those things about trump and then he endorsed him. this week. even someone like you who discovered washington for so many years, did that surprise you? >> john: well, that's no fair because we've never had an attack on the capital by the supporters of a candidate before so i'm not being funny. i sound like biden, don't i? in all seriousness.
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we've never had that situation. so what strikes me is when mcconnell spoke out against trump and he did it several times after the attacks of generous sixth, he said he was morally responsible for the attack. he said it was a dereliction of duty, disgracefully, he said word twice. what was striking about that moment as many republicans who didn't say boo, they might have been scared of retribution from trump supporters, they might not of had a conscience. but mcconnell broke with his party and his president, and that's a big deal. a lot of people in his party didn't and when george washington left office he said you know i'm really worried about political parties because what will happen is people will care more about their faction, their little part of and they will the country. and so you don't want have political parties have such amazing power so mitch mcconnell broke with that. but then in supporting donald trump, who he said had a disgraceful dereliction of duty, he has unwound that. so now he's picking his party over what he had done previously which was to make it a moral case about something that went beyond party but that was an
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attack on the country. >> stephen: i want to get into next a very specific thing that biden talked about, some of the things that he has both promised and talked about needing legislation on. we have to take a quick break but don't go anywhere. we'll be right back with more john dickerson and the lives stated the union union show. neg legislation on. we have to take a quick break but don't go anywhere. we'll be right back with more john dickerson and the lives stated the union union show. if you're living with hiv, imagine being good to go without daily hiv pills.
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[cheers and applause] >> stephen: hey, everybody. we're back with cbs news john dickerson. okay, john, you are a wordsmith yourself. you've given quite a few speeches in your time. i just listen to your one at the kennedy school. shortens teen center up at harvard. what do you think of the language that biden was using tonight? could you see any patterns in what he was doing? >> john: the first thing was how vibrant he was in everything. >> stephen: every sentence had it! at the end of it. >> john: like having an altar call and healing people. >> stephen: rafael warnock called at the sermon. >> john: did he? what struck me was the number of "my predecessor." >> stephen: never said trump's
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name. >> john: which is the thing politicians do. they talk about "my opponent." >> stephen: how many times we say my predecessor? >> john: 13 in the text appeared at her know how many he actually said. >> stephen: because he went off book a bunch. >> john: he did. you can imagine his aides, when he goes off book. >> stephen: we don't know if the corn pops story is coming out next. >> john: that struck me, "my predecessor." i can't member a seat of the union where the president want after his predecessor so much. but then i counted up the word "fair." that's the political, we talked about what he was talking about this and the echoes in the room but as a policy matter the word fare also shows up 13 times. why's that important or interesting? he's talking about increasing teacher pay, housing, college loans, drug costs. how was he going to pay for all of it? by taxing corporations and the very wealthy. so this is a populist message.
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>> stephen: it's fair that you get this better deal. it's fair that they pay their fair share. [applause] >> john: you have a good audience. truman's fair deal was announced in his 1949 state of the union speech, the idea of fairness, fair shot. why is he doing this? 's numbers are terrible on the economy and instead of a debate about people's feelings but what they might recall about the trump years they want us to shift the trip to a new debate which is what we should be talking about. what is the next president going to do in the economy to improve american opportunity question what was going to happen in the future? who's got the better vision? is happy to do that because it is a lot of talk about the way people feel about the economy now. >> stephen: one of the things they did was he seemed to be responding to the 100,000 uncommitted boats that were in michigan and also some in minnesota and elsewhere around
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the united states. he announced temporary seaport for gaza and he talked of the air drafts of humanitarian aid, getting a lot of humanitarian aid, calling on israel to open up the northern gate of gaza. how big a deal is it that he's changing his messaging? >> john: so normally about 500 trucks a day go into gaza. it's at 100 now. the u.n. says 570,00 adults in gaza are severely malnourished and on their way to starving. and what's extraordinary is he's basically going around israel to get with the seaport, as he has with the airdrop but what's the political implications, as you mentioned. the uncommitted vote sent him a clear signal and they are responding, first rhetorically, you heard them change the way they talked about a cease-fire. they started making what was a pause into a cease-fire. we talk about he's very mean
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stop it altogether they are changing the language and change of policy and response that we were talking earlier about when you don't get your way as a political supporter what you do? do you go for violence? or do act to the democratic process? to me this is the system working. a bunch of democrats that we don't like this policy and we are going to show you may be by voting out or making your life miserable so you can change the policy. now he doesn't have to bend the knee, he can say you can vote me out if you want. i don't agree with you. but he listen to them apparently and that's the way it kind of should work in a democracy. >> stephen: what's kind of interesting. [applause] of all the things that mike johnson did not stand up to applaud it was a call for no political violence from biden and the republicans did not stand up for a call for no political violence. >> john: that whole side of the room. i'm not usually one who gets -- i feel like you shouldn't watch the audience because that will only encourage them to do more of those pantomime.
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but i noticed the same thing you did which is they didn't stand at all. that's a pretty obvious thing that you stand for, no political violence. it's a low bar because you're a member of congress to work in an institution that was created so that you don't have violence so you work out your toughest, meanest arguments in a system where you adjudicate them and everybody decides it was a fair deal so we are not going to go have a violent interaction or anything else. you should probably clap for that. as the one we have to take another break but stick around. we'll be right back with more mr. john dickerson, everybody. r that. as the one we have to take another break but stick around. we'll be right back with more mr. john dickerson, everybody. man, wish i had 750 donuts like this sign says. it says $750 "dollars," not "donuts." what if each donut cost a dollar?
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♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody. we're back here with the author of the book "the hardest job in the world," mr. john dickerson of cbs news. john, the general election feels like it really began tonight. this was the starting gun. biden went up there and framed his opponent in a certain way and said these are the things that are challenging in america. but framed his opponent as one of those great challenges for america. he recently gave a speech at harvard that argued that press coverage of presidential campaigns is "too distant from the office of the presidency." what do you mean? >> john: what does the job require? what is it mean day-to-day? what is it mean in terms of the
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attributes of the person in the office. what does character mean? temperament, restraint, what are the component qualities you need to be a good president? what do they do do all day and let's reverse engineered we talk about campaigns by looking at what they actually do instead of the way we talk about the presidency and campaigns which is some superhero office where with a stirring tweet you can fix an incredibly complex problem. so it's whenever we get lost in the polls or in the shiny object of the moment just keep thinking no, actually what is this person going to be like in the office and what are the presidential questions in this moment and just a focus on the office. >> stephen: what do they do all day? >> john: you know what, this is one of the ways you can do it, they deal with foreign policy. national security, secrets we don't know anything about, they deal with the real fear there's going to be a cyber attack on infrastructure. stuff they can't even talk about out loud because it would freak everybody out but in campaigns we don't talk about that stuff much. we talk about all kinds of crazy
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things. they spend most of their day on the phone with foreign leaders. tied down with foreign policy because as kennedy said, domestic policy can get us unelected, foreign policy can get us killed. >> stephen: we have heard joe biden's take on the state of our union. let's get john dickerson's state of our union. after donald trump went out in 2020 and said no, i won. it's all a fraud and they stopped counting ballots. you talked about burning the democratic furniture and that how he's burning the democratic furniture and it's up to his allies in the republican party to stop him from doing that because there will be a price to be paid. how is the state of burning our democratic furniture right now? >> john: the idea was if he says this is going to be -- what burning democratic furniture meant is violence and that's what we had. i think the fact that they have renominated somebody who continues to believe falsely
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obviously it's a lie that he won in 2020, that's putting all the same negative energy, a lot of gasoline on the fire. the danger is there. what's good about the democratic furniture is that people held the line in the last election it happened and a peaceful transfer of power happen but all the same threats are alive again because the nominee of the party continues to hold those beliefs. and that violence is still out there. and lawmakers get threatened. and so it's we are still in a very tense moment. >> stephen: give the speech a grade. >> stephen: i'm going to treat that as a rhetorical question. [laughter] >> stephen: thank you, john. [cheering] john dickerson, everybody. we'll be right back with a performance by de la soul. >> stephen: thank you, john. [cheering] john dickerson, everybody.
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we'll be right back with a performance by de la soul.
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>> stephen: this year marks the 35th anniversary of their classic album, "3 feet high and rising." performing "eye know," de la soul. [cheers and applause] >> hey!
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hi, everyone. de la soul. we are about to cook fish called "eye know" and we have some ingredients. we need to start with whistles. we need some beats. >> okay, all right. >> that's good. okay. from there we've got the beats, we've got the whistles but we need pegs. now we're getting somewhere. feels good. sounds good to you all? okay. so no we need sax, approved by
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kenny g. here we go. sounds good. >> we need some good tires, don't we? >> guitars. a little bit of guitar. >> put that right there. sounds good. hey! >> how's that sound, y'all? >> some horns? and of course some john o fagan. >> sound so good. >> this is real spicy. >> look, this is such a great moment, i want to take a picture. do a selfie. hey. >> put some pasta in there.
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♪ greetings, girl, and welcome to my world of phrase ♪ ♪ i'm right up to bat ♪ ♪ it's a daisy age, and you're about to walk top-stage ♪ ♪ so wipe your lottos on the mat ♪ ♪ hip-hop love this is don't mind when i quiz your involvements before the sun ♪ i don't know if you know my n name ♪ ♪ my name is plug one ♪ ♪ now you don't have to worry about me squashin' other deals ♪ ♪ 'cause they've already been squooshed ♪ ♪ freeze a frame about moods the same which we can continue right behind the bush ♪ ♪ you'll stay with me ♪ ♪ eye know this but not because of all my earthly treasures ♪ ♪ but regardless to the fact that i'm posdnuos ♪ ♪ because ♪ it's that y'all let me introduce the chosen one to speak ♪ ♪ let me lay my hand across yours and aim a kiss upon your cheek ♪ ♪ the name's plug two ♪ ♪ and from the soul i bring you the daisy of your choice ♪ ♪ let it be filled with the pleasure of principle in circumference to my voice ♪ ♪ about those other jennys i reckoned with ♪ ♪ lost them all like a homework excuse ♪ ♪ this time the magic number
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is two ♪ ♪ 'cause it takes two, not three, to seduce ♪ bring it to an apex ♪ ♪ sex is a mere molecule ♪ ♪ in this journey that i'm on with you all my people over here to the right if you are feeling good and want to party tonight, say party, say party. all my people over here to the left, if you're feeling good and not out of breath, let me say oh, yeah. say oh, yeah. that is how you cook. i know. thank you. [applause] >> stephen: de la soul, everybody. that's it for "the late show." now stick around for "after midnight" with taylor tomlinson. good night! >> stephen: de la so, everybody.

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