[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers."

tonight -- josh brolin, author david sedaris, music from paloma faith, featuring the 8g band with adrian young. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." we hope you're doing well. and now if you don't mind, we're going to get to the news the supreme court ruled today that states cannot keep former president trump off their ballots because of his alleged involvement in the capitol attack. in fact, clarence thomas said trump could even pick the font. [ laughter ] that's right, the supreme court ruled that states cannot keep trump off their ballots, which means that the supreme court remains the only place where trump can win the popular vote. [ laughter ] president biden met last week with the prime minister of italy, i assume to apologize. [ laughter ] "it wasn't my choice. no joke. it wasn't my choice." while learning the white house on friday to travel to camp david, president biden carried a

hard cover copy of the book "possible: how we survive and thrive in an age of conflict" because nothing says "i'm ready to face the issues of a modern world" like walking around with a hard cover book. [ laughter ] in a new interview, president biden said he's running for re-election because he's proud of his record and wants to keep it going and because most of the policies he's enacted are just kicking in now. and also because in america, even the president doesn't have enough money to retire. [ laughter ] former president trump last week visited the u.s./mexico border and then waved at migrants like he was in a school play and spotted his parents. [ laughter ] what -- what are you doing? [ light laughter ] "hello, it's me. thank you. thank you for inventing queso." [ laughter ] former president trump said in a new interview that he is, quote, "on the side of women," adding,

when's the last time biden gave a lady $83 mill?" [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] when asked if he would vote for former president trump, utah senator mitt romney said in a new interview, quote, no, no, no, absolutely not," adding, "okay, yes." [ laughter ] a man in maine was arrested recently after he allegedly laced a batch of oreo ice cream with thc. people became suspicious when they felt good after eating ice cream. [ light laughter ] employees at a thrift store in canada recently discovered a world war ii era grenade in their donations bin. luckily since it was a thrift store, they were all able to get a fresh pair of pants. [ laughter ] a school district in oklahoma is facing criticism after they allowed high school students to lick other students' toes for a fund-raising event.

[ light laughter ] [ audience oohs ] to be fair, it was either that or a book fair. toe-licking it is! [ laughter ] and finally, the fast casual chain panera bread announced last week it will add bacon mac and cheese to its menu. fast casual is also how you walk to the restroom after eating it. [ laughter ] we heard how much you loved the first joke about crapping your pants. [ laughter ] we figured why not double down? [ laughter ] that was the monologue, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we're a show about the news. got a great show for you tonight. you know him from "no country for old men," "inherent vice," and thanos in the marvel movies. he's hosting "snl" this week and starting in "dune: part 2," which is in theaters now. josh brolin is back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] he is a "new york times" best-selling author whose children's book "pretty ugly" is out now.

david sedaris will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] so happy to see him. and her album "the glorification of sadness" debuted at number one in the uk. we'll have music from british singer/songwriter paloma faith. [ cheers and applause ] it is going to be a nice night. before we get to all that, the supreme court ruled today that donald trump can remain on the ballot, overriding a decision by the colorado state supreme court that declared trump ineligible due to the constitution's ban on insurrectionists holding office. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: trump has remained completely unrepentant about the insurrection on january 6th and his attempt to overturn the 2020 election results and end american democracy. in fact, he's got a new slogan at his rallies, repeating the deranged lie that the 2020 election was rigged. >> we want a landslide that is too big to rig. too big to rig. that's what we need. we want a landslide. we have to win.

we have to win so that it's too big to rig. too big to rig. >> seth: which is he saying it so slowly? [ laughter ] it tells you how little he thinks of his crowd that he pronounces one-syllable words the way i read "hop on pop" to my 3-year-old. [ laughter ] "all ball. we all play ball." [ laughter ] "big rig. too big to rig." [ laughter ] there's a new report out that the trump white house was awash in drugs, which would make sense because trump's starting to slowly pronounce words like he just took a giant bong rip. [ light laughter ] "you know what's a funny word? rig." [ laughter ] "it sounds like big. too big to rig. whoa. is it just me, or is that windmill spying on us?" [ laughter ] "i know you're killing birds, windmill.

one of these days, i'm going to prove it. oh, it just moved. it just moved." [ laughter ] "did you guys see that?" also i'm not making up that story about the drugs. there was a full inspector general's report that the trump white house was a pill mill and then a new report yesterday that said the trump white house was just handing out speed and xanax like candy. and that story just came and went because there's too much [ bleep ] going on. we didn't have time to talk about it. us. eight years ago. if you told me there would be a story about the white house pharmacy handing out goody bags full of benzos and amphetamines, i would have figured that would be a week of "closer looks." and now my reaction is, we don't have time for that mickey mouse bull[ bleep ] anyway. [ laughter ] back to trump. what would a landslide victory that's too big to rig even look like because you've already claimed that democrats rigged the result in california where you lost by over 5 million votes, just in one state. >> i always hear republicans can't win california. you can't win. i will tell you, if god came down and god was the vote checker, i believe we would win.

>> seth: so now you need a landslide that's too big to rig, and you need god to be the vote checker? i doubt god wants anything to do -- if god came down and counted the votes, i'm sure you'd accuse him of cheating too. "i find -- i find the robe very suspicious, the long -- the long flowing robe which he wears even in the summer. even in the summer, a robe. you see the videos of him walking into the voting center. the robe is normal. and then he walks out, the robe is bulky." [ laughter ] "because he's hiding ballots under the robe, but no one will check the robe because we're all too woke now." [ light laughter ] trump is unrepentant about january 6th. in fact, he's worse than unrepentant. he's turned january 6th into a rallying cry at his campaign events, playing a song by a choir of convicted insurrectionists. >> at a rally in houston, texas, trump entered with a song by the so-called january the 6th choir, a group of inmates detained on charges related to the insurrection. and then he called those individuals hostages. >> the former president of the united states stood on a stage

and glorified domestic terrorists. he made a song with the so-called j-6 prison choir. >> the former president of the united states stood on a stage and glorified domestic terrorists. he made a song with the so-called j-6 prison choir first campaign rally of his 2024 campaign. >> seth: man, these trump rallies [ bleep ] weird. they're like half megachurch and half comic con but with way worse merch. i mean put aside -- [ laughter ] put aside the fact that trump is glorifying a violent insurrection. there's nothing i'd rather listen to less than a choir of adult men singing a parody version of the national anthem. and you know who else would think that sounded [ bleep ]? any trump supporter before you told them what it was about. imagine if i walked into a maga rally saying, "want to hear my new national anthem parody song?

i recorded it over prison phone lines." they'd kick my ass, unless i said, "it's pro-trump," in which case they'd beg to know where they could download it. i'm really starting to think these people are hypocrites. [ laughter ] trump again featured a song from the so-called j-6 prison choir over the weekend and praised them for being heroes. >> you heard the hostages singing. that was the hostages. they're the j-6 hostages, i call them, because they are hostages. they're policemen. they're firemen. they're accountants. they're lawyers. >> seth: i feel like trump only knows jobs that were in a richard scarry book. [ laughter ] "they're policemen. they're firemen. and one of them is a little worm who drives an apple to work. but you can't trust him. he's a lowly worm." but trump continued. >> they're put in jail for extended periods of time, for very long periods of time. they're hostages. you heard them singing. you heard the spirit that they have. the spirit is unbelievable. that song became the number one song. >> seth: this guy is talking about his dumb little novelty song like he's ed [ bleep ]

sheeran. "the shape of you" is one of the most streamed songs of all time. the shape of trump is, i don't know, drumstick with googly eyes? [ laughter ] and that was today's unnecessary use of googly eyes. [ light laughter ] give me the googs. [ laughter ] also i can't believe i'm about to spend time fact-checking this, but here it goes. it is true that after it debuted, trump's supporters propelled the song to number one on billboard's digital song sales chart. but saying it was the number one song is very misleading, given that at the time the track drew 442,000 official streams and 25,000 in radio audience compared to morgan wallen's "last night," which drew 38.9 million streams and miley cyrus' "flowers," which drew 106.7 million in airplay audience. and by the way, me explaining how music downloads work is why we don't have time to talk about how the trump white house was handing out ambien like they were tic tacs. [ light laughter ] well played, you sound asleep sons of bitches. [ light laughter ] also just because you're number

one in a super specific category doesn't mean you're number one overall. this show is the number one nbc show in the 12:30 a.m. time slot. [ light laughter ] but if i said "late night with seth meyers" is the number one show on tv, i think we'd get some angry phone calls from the cast of "the bear," and i don't want to get in a fight with jeremy allen white. have you seen that guy without a shirt? [ laughter ] better question, have you seen him with a shirt? [ laughter ] did someone steal this man's shirt? [ laughter ] could you give it back because it's making some of us feel bad about our beach bodies. [ laughter ] so trump is not only unrepentant about january 6th, he openly celebrates it at his rallies. and today he got a big assist from the supreme court when they ruled he could stay on the ballot despite the 14th amendment's ban on insurrectionists. >> the high court just said moments ago that mr. trump can stay on this year's presidential ballot in colorado after that state barred him from its republican primary. colorado supreme court had disqualified mr. trump under a constitutional provision that

bars people who engage in insurrection from holding office. >> it doesn't take on and say that donald trump did not engage in insurrection. in other words, the issue of the facts, is he an insurrectionist or not, was not before the court, and they do not in any way that i've seen so far in a quick -- you know, quick skimming take that on. >> seth: so the court didn't actually touch the question of whether trump engaged in insurrection. of course they didn't. any rational human who isn't currently a republican office holder or member of an insurrection-themed choir can see with their own eyes or with a pair of googly eyes that it was obviously an insurrection. the court stayed away from that question the same way you react when your wife asks if you think her sister is hot. "what? you have a sister? i don't even remember what she looks like." with all that said, i'm afraid the headlines from this ruling are going to be misleading because on the one hand, the court ruled unanimously that trump can stay on the ballot, which makes it sound like even the liberal justices said no candidate can ever be disqualified for engaging in

insurrection. but that's not what they said. there was basically a second, much more divided ruling from the court's conservatives that went much further and said only congress can disqualify a candidate. >> the specific question at hand, did the colorado supreme court err in ordering president trump excluded from the 2024 presidential ballot. well, that the supreme court unanimously agreed as yes. but from there, we see some divisions among the justices. where there was that 5-4 split was in the particulars. five of the justices here, the majority, said that's what rules, said that states can unilaterally decide to take presidents or any federal officers off the ballot, and instead that's a decision that congress would have to make in the form of legislation to decide which candidates could be disqualified by the 14th amendment's so-called insurrection ban. >> seth: so basically you have to read the fine print on the ruling to find out just how dangerous and extreme the ruling from the court's conservatives was. it's like when you play mcdonald's monopoly and you think you won, but then you turn

it over, and there's an asterisk that says, "winning's only available in states that begin with the letters x, y, or z." [ laughter ] "not including fictional states such as xanadu except for zanzibar, which is real despite the fact that it sounds fake. and winners must collect proceeds between the months of marchuary and augvember in the year of our lord 3,075 million. unless congress votes. then you can do whatever you want." [ laughter ] the court's liberals seemed furious at this ruling. they wrote that the conservative majority attempts to insulate all alleged insurrectionists from future challenges to their holding federal office because we all know republicans in congress would never vote to disqualify a republican candidate who engaged in insurrection. the court's conservatives essentially gave all future insurrectionists the green light to run for and hold public office. which means it's up to us, the voters, to stop them just like we did in 2020. 2024 is the sequel. it's like "too fast, too furious" except it's called -- >> too big to rig. [ laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with josh brolin, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: give it up for the fantastic 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] sitting in with us this week, he's the drummer for dreamcar and legendary band no doubt. the band is celebrating "tragic kingdom's" 30th anniversary next year and will be performing for the first time in nine years at the coachella festival in april. adrian young is here. welcome to the show, adrian. thanks for being here. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. yeah! >> seth: we're thrilled to have you. our first guest tonight is an academy award-nominated actor you know from films such as "no country for no men," "inherent vice," and "sicario." he's hosting "saturday night live" this saturday, march 9th, with musical guest ariana grande, and he's also starring in "dune: part 2," which is in theaters and imax now. let's take a look. >> how many men with you?

>> 200. >> 200? do you realize what you're able to achieve with 200 men? incredible fighters. >> duncan said there were millions of them. >> in the deep south. yes. >> well, what are you waiting for? with thousands of these guys, you could you take control of the entire planet. it's your father's dream. what are you afraid of? >> seth: please welcome back to the show our friend josh brolin. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, friend. >> that's some serious drumming, man. >> seth: yeah, we got a real -- >> i felt that. >> seth: we got some real action here.

>> i want to give you a shirt. >> seth: a t-shirt? >> a t-shirt from -- i'll show it to those guys first. >> seth: oh, yeah, show it over to that camera right there. >> it is a "choose love" t-shirt, and it's an amalgamation of three different characters -- "the goonies", thanos -- >> seth: and "no country." >> and "no country." >> seth: there you go. very nice. [ cheers and applause ] choose love. choose love is a wonderful organization. tell us a little bit about what choose love does. >> choose love, anti-war. anti-war. that's what i'll say. >> seth: that's pretty good. let's keep it right there. i don't think anybody could be pro-war. >> i think at some point during our interview, i want to put on the shirt, but i don't know at what point i'll want to do it. so i'm just gonna randomly let it happen. >> seth: okay. we'll let the shirt speak to you. >> yeah. [ laughter ] hi, seth. >> seth: i just want to mention real quick because i was very -- we've talked about "goonies" before and how you -- how people still bring it up to you. >> they do. >> seth: i was recently -- i want to say it was on a -- i can't remember. i'm not going to name the airline because i don't want people to get excited and start booking flights hoping they'll get "goonies" on the plane. but "goonies" was one of the movies on a flight. i mean you had to choose it.

it wasn't just like for everybody. [ light laughter ] but a lot of people -- i was walking up and down the aisles. i was watching "goonies." i feel like a lot of people were like, i'm going to watch "goonies" again. "goonies" holds up. >> "goonies" holds up. >> seth: and "goonies" is insane. >> "goonies" holds up. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: and for a kids' movie, "goonies" is insane. >> it's insane. [ light laughter ] and now -- now it's at that point where it's like i'm old enough now where the son, and now the son has had sons or daughters. >> seth: yeah. >> so, it's like nine generations later, and i'm still like -- [ light laughter ] they were like, "oh, my god, that's the guy." and i'm like -- [ laughter ] you know. >> seth: you know, first of all, congratulations on "dune 2." >> thank you. >> seth: but you had a massive week. [ cheers and applause ] >> you know, it's really easy -- i mean it kind of goes into "the goonies" thing because "goonies" -- you know, i did "the goonies", and i thought that's how my career was going to go. >> seth: yeah, just "goonies" after "goonies" after -- yeah. >> i thought that's how movies were made, you know. like every director was going to be spielberg and dick donner and

all that. and then i realized -- you know, i did "thrashin" then, after that, which that was different. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and then i did michael landon's "highway to heaven," an episode. and then i left for europe because i had to leave because it just wasn't the same. anyway, so after 20 years, you know, as a working actor, but i didn't work very much. so, after 20 years, you're on the street and people are like, "i love you in 'goonies.'" and after 20 years, you go, like, i'm ready for something else. >> seth: to be loved for something else. >> like just make up a name. like rename "goonies." >> seth: yeah, right. >> you know? and then "no country" happened. >> seth: yeah. >> and it's changed -- >> seth: and then, you know, "no country," "sicario," those movies are just -- they're so rewatchable in a great way. and i feel like the "dune" movies are the same thing. with that said, "dune" is such a hit, i feel like we don't have to overpromote it right now, you know? >> no, but i will say this. my family went back. my family's been with me the whole time. they almost always are. but they went back for a couple of days before i do "snl." and so, they were on the plane, and she said -- and she was on the plane with bautista, dave bautista, and she said

"everybody is watching 'dune' in every seat i'm passing." and i said, "even dave bautista?" and she said, no, he's watching "bluey." [ laughter ] and that -- that's not me making something up. it's the truth. >> seth: that's wonderful. i like, by the way, you knew to ask about dave, and she knew to check. >> yeah. i think that's -- >> seth: so, this is crazy. i mean this is -- i mean obviously if you've seen "dune," you know these beautiful vistas. but it is pretty trippy to see your kids. you brought your kids. >> i did. >> seth: and there they are. i mean, this is -- talk about a cool set to be on. that's outstanding. did they have a good time? >> but look at this, though. they had a great time, and this is a 900-foot dune. i mean that's 900 feet. i climb that every day in order to stay in shape. >> seth: really? >> yeah, because like i thought i'd be fine. and then i got to work, and i wasn't fine. i was eating a lot of donuts and [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> seth: do you think like now, like when you get back to california, you're going to have

a dune put in your backyard? >> yeah. >> seth: just for the -- [ laughter ] >> no, but seriously that's the way you think. that's the way one thinks. that's the way a twisted actor thinks. you're like, "i'm going to stay in this shape for the rest of my life. i feel great." >> seth: yeah. >> this is all -- and then you get back and, you know, they say, "what would you like to order?" and you go, "you know what? i'll have a double chimichanga." >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] and there are no dunes here. >> no. >> seth: you know, talk about -- there are movies -- "snl" sketches are just like movies. sometimes they're "goonies." sometimes they're "thrashin'." >> yeah. >> seth: this was a "goonies." you were in the very first "californians." >> yeah! >> seth: i mean that's -- [ cheers and applaue ] i mean this is a real iconic -- if we're talking about the last sort of 15 years of "snl." this is as good as it gets. and it was one of the great sketches i think for hosts to do because it was so fun. it just seemed like -- >> and you know that bill and fred, they used to do it at the roundtable. >> seth: yeah. >> and they never actually like asked lorne to do it. and because i'm like the staunch californian, they were like this is the perfect time -- >> seth: you were the perfect guy to carry "californians." >> and i was the only guy because i'm truly like a staunch californian. i'm the only guy that has a different voice than everybody

else because i thought everybody else was [ bleep ] it up. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] yeah, i don't think -- i do feel bad for, say, europeans who watch "the californians" and think that's how they sound. >> but they do. [ laughter ] but they do. apparently, i'm the only one who doesn't know from california that we sound like this, you know? [ light laughter ] >> seth: well, it's very lucky that you -- you like to play ball as opposed to be offended by how they were -- >> no, no, no. i love to play ball. offended is not in my vocabulary. >> seth: yeah. this was -- and, again, this was a hit. >> i'm an actor. >> seth: and i think it's really nice when you get to be a host on the show that is there for the beginning of a franchise like "the californians." and then there was another sketch. you were in the first and only "fart face." >> oh, man. [ light laughter ] and how is that the only time "fart face" -- like every time i see bill now, he was like, "how great was that?" i go, "i know, but why didn't it continue?" >> seth: well, maybe you were having too much fun to notice not a single human laughed during the whole -- [ laughter ] and by the way, i say this as a fan of "fart face." but you know, you've -- >> you see how they laughed and then they shut up really quick,

'cause you were like -- [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. they don't want to -- they're worried it'll -- >> that was like a "sicario" moment. they were like, oh, [ bleep ]. he's in "sicario." >> seth: did you -- because now bill has entered you into the legend because it did not play particularly good at dress. >> right. >> seth: and it made the show -- >> i love that you remember this. >> seth: bill loved it. >> yes. >> seth: will loved it, you loved it, "fart face." >> yeah. no, i did. >> seth: you know what bill said you said to him and will right before air? >> what? >> seth: okay. >> i don't. >> seth: he said, you go, "all right, gentlemen. let's shut these mother [ bleep ] up." [ laughter ] >> meaning -- >> seth: meaning this is not -- >> oh, no, i do remember that. >> seth: yeah. you knew it was going to bomb. the three of you were like, "there's no way this is going to play." >> we said that right behind the wall right before we walked in. >> seth: yes. >> literally it was like three, two -- "let's shut these mother [ bleep ] up." [ laughter ] and then bill was like, "what are you doing?" >> seth: but it is -- >> i like reality like that. >> seth: that is the legend of it is it was just like three guys who were like, we're going

to do our thing. >> yeah. >> seth: we're going to love it. >> yeah. >> seth: it's not going to be for anybody today. >> right. >> seth: but it will grow in legend over time. >> yes. >> seth: can i tell you i feel like you're going to put the t-shirt on? >> i sure am. [ laugher ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: can i put mine on? [ cheers and applause ] i'm putting mine on. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause i know. thank you, that's great. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i love that i'm no ryan gosling. [ laughter ]

>> seth: i see right through you. you were like, "i want to do something to make everybody forget about 'fart face.'" >> i do. [ laughter ] i did. i had like a reaction. i was like, let's go back to "californians." >> seth: it must be -- i mean seriously to go back to -- it's so exciting a movie like "dune" and "dune 2." everybody feels like they have to see it on the big screen. it is a real reminder of the fun of seeing movies together. and it was so -- it is -- i mean in this day and age, it's so exciting when a movie actually does great at the box office. it must be such a cool thing. >> there's an old school feeling that i really started to miss. and i know covid happened, and like a lot of stuff has happened. and people -- you know, you have these huge screens in your living room and all that. but there's a feeling when i saw "e.t.," when i saw "2001," when i saw "jaws," and you're in the theater and those lights go down. you have the milk duds. you eat the milk duds too fast. you pass out because of a sugar high and crash. [ laughter ] and then you open your eyes at the end of the beginning credits, and you have this incredible experience. >> seth: yeah. >> and you like -- you don't want to rob people of that incredible experience.

and i snuck into lincoln center "dune" yesterday at 12:15. >> seth: did you really? >> i did. >> seth: wow. >> and i had -- i've seen it a few times. i saw an early version, and then i saw it with like fans in mexico and this. and it's a different thing because every time zendaya comes up, it's like taylor swift has showed up in your living room and ahh! [ light laughter ] and then i got to see it, and they were locked in, man. >> seth: yeah. >> they were locked in. it was this amazing communal experience. i'll shut up now, but it was an amazing experience. >> seth: did anybody -- did anybody clock you, or did you get away with your anonymity? >> no. which is -- first of all, i get away with my anonymity all the time anyway. but nobody cared because they were enjoying -- they were immersed in the movie so much. i could have said, "hey, i'm hosting 'snl' this next week. does anybody care?" and then literally nothing. [ laughter ] >> seth: no. [ cheers and applause ] you guys did a great job of doing an impression of the "dune" audience. great to see you, buddy. >> thank you.

>> seth: josh brolin, everybody. "dune: part 2" is in theaters and imax now. "snl" returns this saturday at 11:30 p.m. on nbc and peacock with host josh brolin, musical guest ariana grande. stick around. we'll be right back with david sedaris. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ slowing my cancer from growing and living longer are two things i want from my metastatic breast cancer treatment. and with kisqali, i can have both. kisqali is a pill that when taken with an aromatase inhibitor helps delay cancer from growing and has been proven to help people live significantly longer across three separate clinical trials. so, i have the confidence to live my life. kisqali can cause lung problems or an abnormal heartbeat, which can lead to death. it can cause serious skin reactions, liver problems, and low white blood cell counts that may result in severe infections. avoid grapefruit during treatment. tell your doctor right away if you have new or worsening symptoms,

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: our next guest is an acclaimed "new york times" best-selling author. his children's book "pretty ugly" is on sale now. please welcome back to the show our friend david sedaris. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> seth: welcome, david. how are you? >> fantastic. >> seth: now, one of the things you said to me is we would not be able to do the interview without me asking about your shoes, and that is true. [ light laughter ] >> aren't they? i don't know that you can see -- [ laughter ] >> seth: that's like -- so there's just two -- yeah, that's -- i mean that is something else. >> well, it's like i have a deformity of the foot. that's what it looks like, and they're so -- like when you examine them, they just look -- there's something scientific. [ light laughter ] like they belong in a -- you know, in one of those sad

exhibits of people. >> seth: yeah, like those very old exhibits of like medical -- yeah. >> people who somehow lived. >> seth: yes. >> that's what they look like. >> seth: now, when you saw those shoes, did you know right away "i must have them?" >> oh, yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> and there's another pair that's one pair stacked on the other. >> seth: okay. >> but these were more challenging. [ laughter ] that's what i liked about these. >> seth: yeah, how is the walking round? do you feel like it's hindering you? >> you know what? it's not that hard. >> seth: okay. >> i want to -- someone came up to me and said, "i want to see your footprint in the sand." and i thought, "i do too." [ laughter ] you know how that would look? >> seth: congratulations. you've obviously written many books. this is your first children's book. >> yeah. i'm the only author who didn't think he could write -- wasn't interested in writing children's books. >> seth: you had no interest in doing it? >> none. >> seth: what tipped you into the idea of writing one? >> someone who i respect asked me too, and she was doing a project of putting writers together with illustrators. and so she put me together with ian falconer, who had done the "olivia" books. >> seth: the wonderful "olivia" books, yes. >> before he did "olivia." he did the sets for a play of mine, and so we just always liked each other.

and so he was going to do the pictures, so i thought, "okay." >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> but i don't know anything about children's books. i mean, i don't have children just so i don't have to read them. >> seth: right. [ laughter ] >> like i don't -- and i got to say, maybe sounds bad -- it took me five minutes to write that thing. [ laughter ] i just thought -- i just thought -- i don't think kids -- you know, they can be nice and stuff, but i don't think they're that bright. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> you know, i mean -- so i thought -- i thought, well, it can't be that hard. >> seth: yeah. >> i guess is what i thought. >> seth: and then after you did it, would you say it was harder than you thought -- >> no. >> seth: -- or exactly as easy? yeah. [ laughter ] >> it's exactly as easy. but then, you know, people have asked like, "oh, did your parents read to you as children?" i was talking about it with my sister, amy. our parents put us to bed with two words -- shut up. [ laughter ] and then they closed the door. they never, ever read a book to us.

but half of the people in my family are huge readers. >> seth: that's the thing that's shocking to me. you and your sister, amy, just strike me as -- i don't know, just, like, incredibly well read and brilliant writers, and it's so shocking to me. this disproves every book about parenting that would say you need to read to your kids to make them readers. >> yeah. >> seth: so what was it you think drew you to reading if your parents started every bedtime with "shut up"? [ light laughter ] >> i didn't have a tv. >> seth: yeah. >> i mean -- i mean when i got out of -- i went to college, i didn't have a tv. and then after college, i didn't have a tv. so i think that had a lot to do with it. >> seth: yeah. >> i just started writing when i was 20 because i didn't have a tv. >> seth: all right. well, this is heartbreaking news for you -- [ laughter ] -- watching at home right now. >> and there are -- there are like, i don't know, 27 words. there are more words on a hotel key -- [ laughter ] -- than there are in that book. >> seth: now, i wrote a children's book, and, you know, i think like a lot of children's books, i tried to have a message

behind it. is there a message to your book? >> none. [ laughter ] i think -- i think it must be so exhausting now to be a child, and everywhere you turn, someone's trying to shove a lesson down your throat. [ laughter ] wouldn't it just be exhau -- and obviously they don't work. look around, right? [ laughter ] like, look around. >> seth: right, because these are all -- basically this is a country run by adults who also read books with messages, and none of them took. >> right, no. >> seth: that's a very fair point. this is about a monster who is born with a pretty face and is very upset about it. >> yeah, an ogre, yeah. >> seth: and would you say in my summary, i've now used more words than are actually in the book? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> seth: but were you worried, because there is a moment where the monster's solution is to reach into their mouth and pull their head inside out to make themselves look like a monster again. so this is just a sense of what the monster is doing. and now were you concerned that this might be a photo that

was -- would be distressing to children? [ laughter ] >> no, not a bit. not a bit. >> seth: you weren't worried at all? and when you first got ian's art back, did you ever -- did you say "more grotesque," or were you happy with his first pass? >> no. i mean he was such a master, i would never -- >> seth: yeah. >> it's always such a mistake when you're working with somebody, and you try to tell them what to do when they're so good at their job. >> seth: yes. >> so, you know, we just left each other alone. >> seth: you know, the illustrator for my book, rob, that's the hard job. writing a kids book, so easy. illustrating it, there's no shortcuts to illustrating it. so shout-out to the illustrators for -- >> yeah. yeah, i mean, the sad thing is that ian died last year. >> seth: mm-hmm. >> and i still have to split the royalties with him. [ laughter ] >> seth: you know what? i've been doing this ten years,

that might be the most off-guard i've been caught. [ laughter ] [ applause ] have you gotten any feedback? i mean you obviously have friends with kids. anybody reached out to say whether they like it or not? >> hugh's goddaughter's mother wrote to say that betty just wants to read the book again and again and again. that's -- >> seth: that's great. does that -- i mean i know you don't think kids are that bright, but do you still take -- does that positive feedback matter? >> well, i mean that's the reader. i mean, that's so interesting. now, i've never had, like, someone who really can't read be my reader. [ laughter ] >> seth: we've talked about how you've always taken great advantage of the opportunity to write inscriptions that are maybe different than what other authors would write when people come to your readings and things like that. have you been able to inscribe any books for children yet? >> i have only signed four copies of that book. but the book's called "pretty

ugly," and so i thought on the full title page, i should work the words "pretty ugly" into -- so somebody on the staff here just asked me to sign a book to their children -- to their child. and so i wrote, like, "dear rebecca, i hear things can get 'pretty ugly' at your house when your parents get into the liquor cabinet." [ laughter ] >> seth: i like that both because they'll think their parents are alcoholics, and even worse, like the word's getting out. [ light laughter ] like people that don't even know her family are hearing this. your sister, amy, who is one of our favorite guests on this show, is backstage. that's very lovely that she's here to support you. has she -- does she come out when you're doing readings? does she come to the shows? >> every now and then, you know, when i'm doing a show in the area. and then we were just together in -- we went to paris. she came to paris. she hadn't been there in a long

time, so she came in january. and we went to a couple fashion shows. it was exciting. >> seth: did you have a good time? >> oh, yeah, we had a great time. >> seth: well, you're two of our favorites, and it is just a delight to have you here. thank you so much. >> oh, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: david sedaris, everybody. "pretty ugly" is available now, and tickets for his tour are available at davidsedarisontour.com. we'll be right back with music from paloma faith. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (coi leray & metro boomin, “enjoy yourself”) new axe black vanilla? yum! ♪ he like when i get dressed, ♪ ♪ i live life with no stress, ♪ ♪ he said that's my best flex. ♪ ♪ i hopped on a big plane, said i'm doing big things, ♪ ♪ gonna bring out the champagne...yeah. ♪ ♪ baby i'm cool, yeah, you know what to do, ♪ ♪ yeah, we got nothing to lose.♪ sfx: yacht's horn ♪ metro boomin want some more ♪ ♪ with the bosses, i just pull up in ♪ new axe black vanilla. get closer with the finest fragrances.

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: she's a multi-platinum award-winning singer/songwriter whose album "the glorification of sadness" is out now. performing "bad woman," please welcome to the show paloma faith. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i'm a bad woman ♪

♪ watch the chaos unfurl the walls we built burn ♪ ♪ so i spin the wheel and then i call the shots in the end ♪ ♪ walk away from my homestead say i'm better on my own instead ♪ ♪ well you can have the glory while i drive into the sunset ♪ ♪ i'm not good girl i'm a bad woman i'm not good girl i'm a bad woman ♪ ♪ and you painted me this way then act surprised when i changed ♪l

i'm a bad woman ♪ ♪ and you painted me this way then act surprised when i changed ♪l i'm a bad woman ♪ ♪ and you painted me this way then act surprised when i changed ♪ ♪ i'm not a good girl i'm a bad woman ♪ ♪ so easy to blame me but no one's flawless ♪ ♪ i hope you find perfection but i know that'll never be me ♪ ♪ i'm not good girl i'm a bad woman i'm not good girl i'm a bad woman ♪ ñ and you painted me this way

then act surprised when i changed ♪ ♪ i'm not a good girl i'm a bad woman ♪ ♪ i'm not good girl i'm a bad woman i'm not good girl and i'll never be ♪ ♪ and you painted me this way then act surprised when i changed ♪ ♪ i'm not a good girl i'm a bad woman ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: paloma faith, everyone. "the glorification of sadness" is out now. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] [ doorbell rings ] you must be isaac. come on in. [ sighs ] here's my pride and joy. [ romantic music plays ] ♪♪

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♪ >> announcer: come join the audience at "late night" live in studio 8g. for tickets, head over to latenightsethtickets.com. follow us @latenightseth on all social media platforms. subscribe to late night seth on youtube. find us online at latenightseth.com. and subscribe to the "late night podcast," featuring "a closer look," guest interviews, and more. available wherever you listen to podcasts. ♪

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: i wanna thank my guests josh brolin, david sedaris, paloma faith, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] i wanna thank adrian young and the 8g band. thanks for watching. we love you, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪