this week, members of the house and senate are away from washington for spring break. [ cheers and applause ] you can tell because people on the beach were like, "whoo! don't take it off!" [ laughter ] actually, members of congress are really letting loose on spring break. in fact, let's take a look at some of their tweets. senate minority leader mitch mcconnell said, "i believe marriage is between one man and one margarita." [ laughter ] "#notachoice." >> steve: nice. >> jimmy: "#notachoice." here's one from florida senator marco rubio. "i'm the guy known for the small water bottle, but on spring break, i'm the guy with the big water bottle. wink." [ laughter ] "#stilltalkingaboutwater." [ laughter ] i don't quite get why he winked on that one, but -- check this out, you guys. this week, the supreme court is hearing arguments on same-sex marriage, and chief justice john roberts has invited his gay cousin to attend the hearing. roberts said it's his way of showing compassion for the cause, while his cousin said, "i'm not gay." [ laughter ]

"although, i'll show up, but --" weird -- [ talking over each other ] i think it's a cool story. a father of five has come forward to claim saturday's winning powerball ticket worth $338 million. [ cheers and applause ] or as he told his five kids, "great news. three of you are going to college!" [ laughter ] very expensive these days. listen to this. in a new interview, hugh hefner revealed that he has slept with over a thousand women. [ audience oohs ] when asked if he could name names, he was like, "i think my first name is hugh." [ laughter ] he's slept with over a thousand women and only half of those women were named amber. just a little trivia. [ light laughter ] little trivia for you. did you guys see this? the backstreet boys have released their own harlem shake video. [ cheers ] ooh, wow. of course, most people missed it 'cause they were busy watching right said fred's planking video.

[ laughter ] that's a good one, eh? that's one of my favorite ones, man. right said fred's planking video. ♪ i'm too sexy for this meme ♪ [ laughter ] and finally, i want to say congrats to tiger woods who just regained his status as the number one golfer in the world. >> steve: whoa! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he was also hoping to reach number one at something else, but then that hugh hefner interview came out. we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody! thank you so much for watching! we have a great show tonight. we love it when he stops by.gnp from "law & order: svu," ice-t

is here! [ cheers and applause ] he's a good actor. talented guy. plus, speaking of talented guys, he's the host of "talking dead" and "the nerdist." gosh, i love when he comes by. >> steve: love this guy. >> jimmy: he's very funny. chris hardwick is dropping in! [ cheers and applause ] he's such a cool guy. >> steve: love him. >> jimmy: funny guy. and now, he's, like, the most powerful dude ever. >> steve: i've known him for, like, 20 years, that kid. >> jimmy: have you known chris -- >> steve: yep. >> jimmy: from what? mtv days? >> steve: yeah, from mtv days. on -- it was called -- i forget what the show was called. no. before "singled out." nope. one you've never heard of called "garbage show." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you made that up. >> steve: no, it was the name -- it was a show -- it was called "trash." >> jimmy: oh, yeah! >> steve: yeah. and it was about -- you would come on and, like -- >> jimmy: "garbage show." much better name, "trash." [ laughter ] >> steve: i'm still laughing at right said fred. >> jimmy: i know. that was a good one. no, but hardwick's got, like -- he's got, like, ten things happening now. like, "the nerdist" -- i was -- the other day, i was looking at this bbc america thing on, like, apple tv or something like that. just check out what shows are on bbc america.

i like the new show, "at home." you ever seen that thing? [ cheers ] it's so good. >> steve: it's so good. >> jimmy: it's -- honestly, it's so good. and so, i was looking for some other british thing, and it just makes me feel smart. and i'm going through it. [ light laughter ] and i see "the nerdist" and chris hardwick. >> steve: on bbc? >> jimmy: and i go -- yeah, bbc. and i go, "that's great 'cause he's so from america." >> steve: yeah! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and we've known him for 20 years. he should be on bbc america. it's good representing. but he's just kicking butt. i love the guy. i'm so happy for him. also -- oh, my gosh, we have great music. speaking of joining itunes, i'd check these guys out. little green cars on tonight! [ cheers and applause ] new record out on itunes! they're just -- [ applause ] are they from england? >> steve: yeah, i think so. >> jimmy: are they from england? >> audience member: ireland! >> steve: ireland. >> jimmy: oh, sorry, ireland. [ laughter ] sorry, that's a mistake -- that's a mistake you don't want to -- that's a mistake you don't want to make, yeah. [ laughter ] [ with irish accent ] i'm ju sitting right -- >> steve: they're from ireland. >> jimmy: sorry, brother. sorry, sorry. [ laughter ] okay. calm down, brother.

>> steve: they stole my shillelagh! >> jimmy: so, i apologize. it's all good. all good. >> steve: whoo! >> jimmy: hey, guys, it is time to take a look at stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: we have a great band from ireland tonight. yeah. they're fantastic. [ with irish accent ] >> steve: they're from ireland. >> jimmy: yes, they are. here we go. these are the "pros and cons." tonight's -- is easter. sure, it's a nice holiday, but it's not perfect. [ laughter ] and i'm about to go there. [ laughter ] >> steve: where you going to go? there? >> jimmy: there, probably. let's take a look at the "pros and cons" of easter. here we go. pro, the easter bunny is great. con, but let's be honest. he's no santa. [ laughter ] right? you know what i'm saying? there's only one santa. >> steve: true. >> jimmy: pro, getting up early to paint your eggs. con, that's what members of the blue man group do every morning before a show.

[ laughter ] >> steve: oh. both of them? [ applause ] >> jimmy: protein diet? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: i don't know. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: pro, easter is a story of a man who dies and comes back to life three days later. con, or as lil wayne put it, "been there, down there." [ laughter ] check out tmz, y'all! >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: pro, the new york city easter parade features people wearing oversized bonnets. con, at least until mayor bloomberg bans oversized bonnets. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that is problem we need to nip in the bud! have you seen these bonnets? walking around with 16-ounce bonnets. [ laughter ] >> steve: they're small bonnet people. >> jimmy: yeah. kevin meaney. pro, watching "the ten commandments" and seeing moses part the red sea. con, watching abc's "splash" and seeing louie anderson do the same thing after jumping in a pool. [ laughter and applause ] you know he's a comedian. he would say the same thing. >> steve: he would be the first guy saying it. >> jimmy: he would be the first guy saying it. >> steve: first guy saying it. >> jimmy: pro, coming downstairs and seeing the easter bunny left

you a basket full of toys and chocolate. con, it would be less terrifying if you didn't live alone. [ laughter ] that is a little creepy. a little "donnie darko" there. yeah, yeah, yeah. pro, it is the best time to buy fake eggs. con, besides breakfast at mcdonald's. well, that's good. [ laughter ] they do taste good, better for your cholesterol. >> steve: thank you. >> jimmy: i'm looking out. pro, surprising all the kids in the backyard by putting on a giant bunny costume. con, immediately getting attacked by the neighbor's rottweiler. [ laughter ] pro, eating a chocolate bunny and finding out it's hollow inside. con, looking in the mirror and realizing it's not the only thing. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] >> steve: do you want the -- ♪ oh, sad. ♪ [ whispering ] >> steve: i thought i was something. i just ate an entire chocolate bunny. i'm gonna throw up. i just threw up in my mouth. no, i didn't.

i didn't throw up in my mouth. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you didn't see that one coming! >> jimmy: there he is. michael winslow, everybody. the white michael winslow, everyone. [ laughter ] and finally, pro, it's the time of season to remember what's truly important in life. con, winning your march madness office pool. there you go! [ cheers and applause ] there's your "pros and cons." we'll be right back with "darts of insanity!" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ [ female announcer ] birdhouse plans. nacho pans.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show, everybody! this is going to be fun! it is time to play "darts of insanity!" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. that's right. this is "darts of insanity," a game of skill, strategy and what some would consider moral depravity. >> woo! [ whip cracks ] >> jimmy: higgins, let's get three contestants down here. >> steve: all right, jimmy, coming to the stage are scott, henry and kyle! ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much.

thank you. thank you for being here. what is your name, and where are you from? >> scott from gardner city, long island. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: welcome. welcome, scott. where are you from and what is your name? >> my name is henry, and i'm from north jersey. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: very, very, good. what is your from and where is your name? >> i'm kyle and from fairfield, connecticut. >> jimmy: very, very good. did you say your name? >> what? >> jimmy: did you say your name? >> yeah, kyle. >> jimmy: oh, i thought you said, hi, i'm from connecticut. the aa meeting is down the hall. [ laughter ] hey, guys. listen up. here's how the game works here. to your right on the sharp 108 is the dreaded dartboard of insanity. >> oh, hell, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, one at a time, you'll each take this official buzz bee ultimate rapid blast air blaster, and shoot a rubber dart at the board. the board will quickly flash between various stunts you may be subjected to, each of which carries a specific point value. now, for instance, we have -- "veggie wedgie" for three points -- "hog-tied and lovin' it" for six points --

or the dreaded "rabbit punch" for 12 points. that is where we give you a number from one to ten, and then someone in a rabbit costume walks up behind you and punches you in the back as hard as they can. [ laughter ] now -- now, whatever your dart lands on, that's what you'll have to do. whoever has the most points at the end of one round wins the game and a check for $100. [ cheers and applause ] >> sweet. >> jimmy: yeah. >> ready for that. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. you guys ready? here we go. great. here we go. contestant number one, you step right up here, my friend. all right. let's get -- stand behind the part. i'm sorry to aim that at you. rubber dart safety, you guys. i always say that. aim to the floor always when you have the rubber dart gun. let's initiate the dartboard of insanity, please. oh, look at this. there are some good names in there already. ho, ho, ho, i see some goodies. all right. go for it, buddy. fire when ready. "egghead," five points! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] higgins, tell him what he's got to do. ♪ >> steve: well, jimmy, tonight's lucky contestant gets to take

this giant easter egg and put it on his head. he'll then have to perform the ancient mystical dance of the egghead. once the dance is done, he's won! five points, that is. jimmy? >> jimmy: all right, very nice. >> so i dance? >> jimmy: well, kind of, yeah. thank you, higgins. so, as you see, we have a beautifully decorated easter egg here. it's been hollowed out. all you have to do is put it on your head and start dancing the easter heg -- the easter ed -- sorry. [ light laughter ] the egghead dance. has nothing to do with easter. just start dancing when you hear the roots play the egghead song, and then you have to leave it on for the rest of the game. sound good? [ laughter ] >> perfect. >> jimmy: all right, go ahead. put on your egg head. [ laughter ] all right. looking good! audience, cheer him on! audience, ready, set, dance! ♪ ♪ you got an egg head you got an egg head you got an egg head

you got an egg head ♪ >> jimmy: oh, i love it! i love it! you did it. five points. how do you feel? >> oh, great. >> jimmy: all right, fantastic. help him out, please. let's go over to this -- this side over here. oh, she'll walk you over. be careful. he's going to fall down, sue us and we'll lose more than $100. hey, how you doing, buddy? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: all right, you know -- yeah, you know what you've got to do here, buddy. you want to hit that board and you want to try to land on something worth more than five points. you ready? >> gotcha. >> jimmy: all right, you've got to aim, all right? stay focused, my friend. fire when ready. initiate the dartboard of insanity. >> ready? >> jimmy: yep. "hot dog in a hole!" ♪ higgins, tell him what he's got to do. >> steve: well, jimmy, tonight's lucky contestant gets to grab a bunch of hot dogs and throw them through the mouth hole of north korean director kim jong- un. if he can get seven hot dogs through the hole in 20 seconds, he's got ten points. jimmy! >> jimmy: all right. very good. as you can see, we -- that is kim jong-un.

and here's a bunch of wieners right here. all you've got to do is you've got to grab your wieners and throw seven through the hole in 20 seconds. you think you can get your wieners into kim jong-un's mouth? [ laughter ] >> of course. i can do it. >> jimmy: great. all right. stand behind this. this will be the firing line right here. 20 seconds on the clock, please. audience, help him out. ready, set, toss those wieners! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hot dog in a hole hot dog in a hole hot dog in a hole hot dog in a hole ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hot dog in a hole hot dog in a hole hot dog in a hole hot dog in a hole ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: man, oh, man! time's up. hands off your wieners. that was pretty good. can we see some of that in slow motion, please? there we go. good.

no? no, that was close. but then you got -- you got in a roll here. nope. i started doing sherman hemsley. that's when he started hitting them there. i was doing george jefferson dance. there you go! [ cheers ] oh, it was a thing of art. it was a thing of beauty. all right. very, very good. nice work. now, let's see how many wieners you got into kim jong-un's hole. i can't see. slow down, slow down, stop. i can't see what that's -- >> that's seven. >> jimmy: four -- five wieners. thank you. sorry, you did not get enough wieners into his mouth, but good try. [ sad tuba ] get over there with the egghead guy. [ cheers and applause ] hey. how you doing, pal? >> good. >> jimmy: you've got your working boots on today, my man. >> yeah, you never know. >> jimmy: yeah, what's up? you got your kimbos. >> always going out in style. >> jimmy: always going out of style? >> in style. >> jimmy: always going in style. you want to be impressed. [ laughter ] i like it, man. all right. hey, you know what you've got to

do. you've got to beat five points. you can do this. >> i can do this. >> jimmy: yeah. positive thinking. >> all right, i got this. i got it. >> jimmy: keep it fresh. easily. initiate the dartboard of insanity. go for it, my man. come on. you can do it. just aim that straight there. come on. you can do it. "dude spoon," 15 points! ♪ that's 15 points. that's a guaranteed win. higgins, tell him what he's got to do. >> steve: well, jimmy, tonight's lucky contestant gets to spend some quality time in bed with sebastian. he's a scorpio, a three-time convicted felon and master of the ancient art of spooning. it's the "dude spoon" and it's worth 15 points. jimmy! >> jimmy: it's not bad. it's just a "dude spoon." all you have to do is you do this. you're gonna be tonight's big winner. all you have to do is you have to let sebastian spoon you for 20 seconds. [ laughter ] sebastian -- sebastian, are you ready? >> oh, i'm ready now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's do it. what's in that easter basket there? >> a couple cream-filled eggs. >> jimmy: all right.

[ laughter ] >> and one pink peep. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, i'm so sorry. all right, ready? sorry i had too this to you, buddy. >> hey. >> jimmy: i apologize. go for it, man. all right, jump into bed with sebastian. >> no, no, no, turn around. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let him have his way and get it over with. let's go! 20 seconds left. ♪ >> don't struggle. don't struggle. just relax and enjoy the spoon, my friend. >> this is terrible. >> this is perfect, man. just relax, my friend. are you on spring break? >> no, last week. >> last week. you get some action? >> hell, yeah. >> you did? >> from a girl, though. >> from a girl? >> jimmy: you did it! you did it! congratulations! [ ding ding ding ] ♪ time's up. you completed the "dude spoon," which mean you won 15 points. which means you are the winner! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] as our big winner, you'll be receiving a check for $100. congratulations to you, buddy.

guys, come on over. you want to bring egghead over here, too. congratulations, my friend. sorry, guys, you didn't win. but you were good sports, so you will also be getting $100. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] since it is merch madness here on "late night," you'll each be taking home these official "late night with jimmy fallon" hoodies! thanks, everyone, for playing. you're a good man. we'll be right back with ice-t, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey aleigh.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: our first guest is a director, author, rapper, and actor who stars on the hit show "law & order: svu," which airs -- [ cheers and applause ] absolutely. airs wednesday nights at 9:00 p.m. right here on nbc. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back, ice-t! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ice-t! we love you! welcome back to the show. >> aw, man -- >> jimmy: always looking good. >> oh man, it's like home when i come here. >> jimmy: it is? how's your lovely wife? how's coco doing? >> coco's -- [ cheers and applause ] >> coco's doing great. she's out there, starring in "peep show" in las vegas. yeah. >> jimmy: she's killing it out there. >> yeah, she's extended until the end of july. she's selling the show out. it's incredible. >> jimmy: congratulations. do you go out there and visit in vegas? >> yeah, i'm going actually

tomorrow to be out there over the easter vacation. >> jimmy: good weather. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: like 110 degrees or something? [ laughter ] >> it's crazy. and then when "law & order" breaks for hiatus, we're gonna stay out there over the summer. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> we have a house out there, yeah. >> jimmy: it gets too hot, right? i used to stand up out there and i could only do it for like a week. >> the money cools you off. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] the money will cool you off. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, it does, yeah. well, what do the dogs do? where are the dogs? is it spartacus, no maximus? >> maximus and king -- no, well, it's spartacus and king maximus. they're staying right now. they're chilling in like -- in a suite in planet hollywood right now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they get their own suite? >> they got their own suite. i think they can actually call for room service. >> jimmy: yeah, with their paws? which one sleeps on his back? >> king maximus. >> jimmy: it's the cutest thing. it's just like -- and the tongue -- he sleeps like i do. >> people that are familiar with bulldogs know that. they lay back, you know? they're crazy like that. >> jimmy: i love them. but you just released, or coco released a calendar with the pictures of the two studs, spartacus and king maximus.

look at this, 2013. [ audience aws ] that's what i'm talking about. can you beat this? come on! these are my dogs, come on. [ audience aws ] look at these guys. he's sleeping on his back! and there he is! i love it. that dog's so cute, man. >> they have 50,000 twitter followers. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness! >> and you can follow them @cutespartacus. >> jimmy: @cutespartacus is at 50,000. and you can buy this calendar as well. >> yeah, they have a website. what is it? [ laughter ] what's the website? >> jimmy: caninecouture? >> no, it's cutespartacus, i think. something like that. >> jimmy: is it? i think -- latenightwithjimmyfallon.com. [ laughter ] i think it's -- i thought you got one for all the guys on the staff. >> yeah, just go to the web. go, follow them on twitter. i mean, they got enough money. whatever. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, they're at planet hollywood in a suite. they've living it up. >> they're ballin'. >> jimmy: i just saw on twitter, of course i follow you, is it final level? >> final level. >> jimmy: that's what i thought.

>> you got me started! you and quest jumped me off on twitter. now, you know, i'm not like you, but i've got like 400,000. >> jimmy: killer. well, let's make that 450,000 tonight. >> that's what i'm sayin'. >> jimmy: let's get to 450. we can do this. >> thanks to jimmy, you got me started. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: let's get it cookin' then it's complete. but i saw you -- you're going to colleges, you're giving lectures to kids. which i would totally love it if you came to my college. >> yeah, well, you know -- >> jimmy: we barely got, one year -- maybe we almost got bill nye the science guy. [ laughter ] he canceled. and then he canceled. he didn't even show up. we got like bill nye, like experiment and he didn't show up. he was like, "no, i can't man. i can't do it." >> i would have shown up, jim. >> jimmy: that's what i'm saying -- but i would love to have ice-t come 'cause you would probably give good life lessons. i mean you always have smart things to say about stuff. what do you lecture about? do you have the title of the lecture? >> the title of my lecture is, "how in the hell am i not in prison?" [ laughter ] and it kind of just takes you on a journey from where i started in the streets to now playing a cop on tv. you know? and it's crazy because if a kid's 18 years old, i've been on "law & order" for 14 years, so

they were four when i started "law & order," so they have no reference point to my life. so, it's crazy, you know? i just kind of tell them a lot of life lessons i've learned on this journey. >> jimmy: it's crazy. i mean, like, can you give us, like, one lesson or one thing -- stuck in your mind? >> well, like, people think you get rich being in movies. i was in "new jack city." "new jack city" made $80 million. i got $20,000. >> jimmy: that's it? oh really? >> that's what i got. because i work for scale. and then, my next movie, joel silver, one of the biggest producers in hollywood, who did the "matrix" and movies like that -- i walk in there. i'm like, "okay, i'm about to get paid. i'm about to get paid." >> jimmy: new jack money. >> "new jack city" you sellin' what? he goes -- i go, "okay, i'mma get paid on this movie." he goes, "ice-t, you done one movie." so i got $30,000. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so, yeah. so, it takes -- >> you gotta pay your dues. >> jimmy: you gotta pay your dues. >> you gotta pay your dues. >> jimmy: it's along road. well, congrats on "law & order." what is, your 14 seasons, you just said? >> yes, 14th season. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and it's still going strong. it's killer.

>> yeah. >> jimmy: it's still going strong. i love the show so much. and we're beginning the 15th season? >> yeah, hopefully, we'll be -- i mean, if the fans stick with us, we'll be back for 15 seasons. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: absolutely. >> you know? yeah. so, i mean, it's been a blessing. i went on the show to do four episodes and here we go. you know what i'm sayin'? 15 seasons. that's crazy. >> jimmy: that's when they started, they said, we'll see you on four episodes and then we'll --" >> but they said, "would you like to be on this show called 'svu,' and i'm like, 'no. i never heard of it.'" and they were like, "well, you worked with dick wolf before." this is my fifth show with dick wolf. and they said, "come on, just give us four episodes." so i came out from l.a. i did the four episodes and it's been 14 years. that's just how life is, you know? >> jimmy: yeah, so great. and you're doing it great, too. [ applause ] actually, this wasn't -- like you said, this was not your first nbc show. >> uh-oh. >> jimmy: yeah, we found a good clip. >> i mean, i paid dues, remember that! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's a good one. >> what you got? >> jimmy: it's is not even your acting skills, it's your dancing skills. you're a break dancer in a show

called "fame." [ cheers and applause ] 1983. >> 1983? >> jimmy: yeah -- >> 20 years -- what's that -- that's 30 years. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. i know. it's so good. get ready to watch this. this will bring you back. here's ice-t in "fame." look at this. ♪ >> that's me right there! oh! oh, footwork! >> jimmy: you did it again! >> who's that? >> jimmy: i love that you -- [ cheers and applause ] more with ice-t when we get back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ poof! ] hey there, henderson family. i'm your rav4 genie. your wish is my command. i wish the old spare tire was gone. out of everything in the...okay. [ snaps fingers ] oh no, i meant... i wish animals could talk. much better. i wish the old spare tire was gone. [ laughs ]

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back with the one and only ice-t, everybody! come on. we love you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, again, for coming to our show. i want to play a game with you i've played before. it's called "sound off." >> all right. >> jimmy: here's how it works. i'm going to give you a topic. >> i'm not spooning nobody. >> jimmy: no, no, no, no.

[ laughter ] we already did that. that was a different game. this is a -- trust me, i wouldn't even ask. i'm going to give you a topic and you give me your take on it as only ice-t can. >> all right, let's go. >> jimmy: okay. >> i keep it 100. let's go. >> jimmy: mayor bloomberg's ban on large sodas. >> that's stupid. [ cheers and applause ] that's stupid. >> jimmy: stupid? >> that's stupid. what? are you going to go to riker's island, say, "yo, son, i'm in here for soda, son. don't touch me. watch the big gulp, son." >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> no, that's stupid. >> jimmy: yeah, you don't want to go to jail known as the big gulp either. [ laughter ] >> spend that money -- yeah, really. [ cheers and applause ] that's stupid. >> jimmy: yeah, that's stupid. here we go. oh, this is good. dennis rodman going to north korea and meeting with kim jong-un. >> that's not news. but they do look crazy together, though, really. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know what i heard when it first hit?

'cause he went over with the globetrotters. >> all right. >> jimmy: so dennis rodman, the globetrotters, and kim jong-un. doesn't that sound like a weird "scooby doo" episode? [ laughter ] >> hey, they're the globetrotters, i guess they go everywhere. >> jimmy: i know, man. you got a cartoon -- >> we can't hate on the globetrotters, so he gets a pass because he went with the globetrotters. >> jimmy: okay i got ya. all right, that's good. [ applause ] all right, i like that. oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. "harlem shake." >> i don't get that, man. [ light laughter ] you know, i mean, like, the real "harlem shake," if you really want to see it, you've got to google the g. dep video with puffy and them. they was really doing it. now, i see a bunch of white people jumping around doing something -- [ laughter ] called the "harlem shake," and it doesn't even look like the "harlem shake." did they even test -- go to look what the real dance looks like? >> jimmy: yeah, i think it's the "harlem shamrock shake," is what it is. [ laughter ] >> it's like a -- yeah, it's like a flash mob of stupidity. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

you're asking ice-t, man. >> jimmy: i know. i love it! >> i'm taking it to 1,000 now, not 100. we going to 1,000. give me one more. >> jimmy: this last one. this is a hit show on television in america. this is a hit show. it's called "splash." it's celebrity diving. >> that's stupider than the big gulp. [ laughter ] i mean, it's, like, i mean, really, like -- like -- america, we're dying for programming right now. you understand me? >> jimmy: we're running out of ideas. >> yeah, like, i'm going to watch somebody jump off of a 30 -- i've seen the commercials. the big payoff is 30 feet in the air. how hard is it to step off of a ledge? it's stupid, people. it's stupid. it's real stupid. >> jimmy: would you ever do a celebrity reality show? >> i've done a reality show, but i'm not doing none of them contests. when i was first starting, at one point, i said, yeah, i'll do "fear factor." and then "fear factor" called me. i'm like, "hell no, i was just saying i'd do it." [ laughter ] i'm not gonna do it. i'm not really going to do it. >> jimmy: that's the real ice-t right there.

[ laughter ] we love you. best to coco. ice-t. "law & order: svu" airs wednesdays at 9:00 p.m. on nbc. chris hardwick joins us next. come on back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ find chinese restaurant. that's awesome. i know...voice activated and great gas mileage. ....so much better than choosing voice activated or great gas mileage... that'd be like eating sweet or sour chicken... oh, grrrlg what is this?! sour chicken...it's good, right? that'd be awful. i think i like "and" better. and is better. the 2013 focus. only ford gives you ecoboost fuel economy, and a whole lot more. go further.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is one of the funniest and busiest guys we know. here he is on the march cover of "wired" magazine. how cool is that? he hosts amc's "talking dead" and "the nerdist," which starts its new season this saturday, march 30th, at 10:00 p.m. on bbc america. please welcome back to the show, our pal, chris hardwick, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> hello! >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about, my friend. welcome back to the show. >> oh, my god, ice-t was on. >> jimmy: no, i mean, come on but no, i know. we love you. you can follow ice-t because you're a talented, you're a charming, you're a funny, funny man. >> i always wanted to be an asian rapper so i could call myself thai ice-t but it never

actually worked out. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, you still got time. you could always work on it. >> could i do that? >> jimmy: no. >> okay. >> jimmy: are you going back on the road? is this true? >> yes, yes. as soon as -- "the talking dead wraps" the 31st. >> jimmy: congrats on that. >> thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh my gosh it is just the biggest thing in the world. >> yes, it's so much fun! >> jimmy: and you're the perfect guy for it. >> the finale's going to be great. i don't want to give anything away, but when rick dies, it's crazy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no, no. >> what? what happened? >> jimmy: well, no, you almost gave something away. >> no, i didn't. anyway, michonne's a robot, she cuts his head off. i don't want to give too much away. yeah, so that -- >> jimmy: welcome back to the spoiler alert, everybody! >> thank you. then i immediately go on the road and start doing stand-up. i'm back in new york at caroline's and then i go to like d.c. and portland and denver and london. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's fun. you're going all over the place. how has stand up changed since you -- since before "talking dead." >> you know exactly how -- before, when you're just performing for a room full of people who have no idea who you are, and you're like, "it's okay to like me." and a lot of times, they're like, "shut up, boy!" and they throw peanuts at you. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> but now, people come see me on purpose. which is crazy! >> jimmy: they kind of relate to

you more. >> it's weird. it's weird when you come out, and the first time, you realize, like, "oh, they meant to come here tonight! they weren't just drunk rednecks who stumbled in off the street." >> jimmy: yeah, they're actually drunk rednecks who know who you are. >> exactly. >> jimmy: that's even better. >> [ redneck accent ] "this boy is funny. i like all that nerd crap he's talking about!" >> jimmy: well, dude, gosh, i mean, you are a nerd, but not in the not nerd way that you would think the nerd way. like, i think of a nerd now. i think of someone who's just like kind of you like certain things -- >> yeah, the classic of idea of the nerd is "the revenge of the nerds." like, "i can't talk to girls." >> jimmy: "my glasses are broken." >> these grasses are fixed. but -- >> jimmy: you had them glued. >> i had them glued. but yeah, it's not what you like that makes someone a nerd. i think it's how intensely and passionately you like those things. >> jimmy: yes. >> like a nerd's superpower is to understand something more than any other living creature on the planet and then shame them with that knowledge. >> jimmy: that's actually a good definition. we've talked about -- you've

been on the show a bunch of times, and we talked about how your dad was a bowler. >> a professional bowler, yeah. >> jimmy: professional bowler. which -- i grew up -- that was one sport, i was really -- i loved bowling. >> well, you know, we do this bowling show on our nerdist youtube channel. >> jimmy: i'm a big fan. >> where we're bowl -- where teams bowl against other -- we bowled against, like "breaking bad," and "mad men." >> jimmy: jon hamm, i saw. >> we bowled against jon hamm. >> jimmy: you're taking it to amc. >> yeah, amc. we're going to do the bowling show on amc. but we have -- i am double dropping a challenge. i think i would like to bowl you and questo. you perked up. and steve higgins and a.d. miles. i would love to just to get a team and bowl against you guys. >> jimmy: let's go tonight. let's go right now! we ready to go? [ cheers and applause ] >> we don't have to finish the show do we? can we just go now? >> jimmy: no, when you come, we will do this. >> okay. >> jimmy: questlove has like -- you have a collection. he has a -- >> you have six bowling balls? oh, [ bleep ] just got real! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't say that! >> what'd i say? >> jimmy: "real." >> okay, good. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i gotta say this, too.

look at this. i love "wired" magazine. i gotta say. this is probably one of my favorite magazines. it might be the best magazine out there. just so fun. it's you and chewbacca and c-3po. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and is that boba fett? >> yeah, there's boba fett in there and then r5-d4, when you open it up. r5-d4 was the -- >> jimmy: are you in "vikings?" >> he's the little guy with the bad motivator who almost gets picked and r2-d2 -- >> jimmy: oh yeah, i like that guy. >> i'm not in "vikings." i'm not in "vikings." >> jimmy: no, come on. but you are -- >> well, first of all, i should say we do "the nerdist" tv show on bbc america, which is saturday -- sunday is the finale of "the talking dead." the bbc show this season, we had like zach galifianakis and seth rogan and joseph gordon-levitt. >> jimmy: how'd you get involved with bbc, though? >> because i'm such a huge "dr. who" fan that and i would not shut up about "dr. who," so they were like, "for crap's sakes, just come work for us already." >> jimmy: i love that. >> yeah. so, i'm doing that and then this -- last year -- >> jimmy: it all makes sense. it all ties in. >> yeah, it does. last year, i announced on your show that we're doing the course of the force, which is -- we did a five-day lightsaber olympic torch-style relay and

had nerds in cosplay pass the lightsaber all the way down the california coast, leading up to comic-con. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and we had this giant jabba the hutt sail barge built and that was the pace vehicle. so, all these people on the 5 freeway were like, "what's all this traffic?!" and they're like, 'holy crap, it's a sail barge!" and then, people dressed up, passing a lightsaber. >> jimmy: but you raised, was it $100,000 for make-a-wish? >> yeah, something like that. we were able to grant a thousand wishes for the make-a-wish foundation. so, this year -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: then it's all worth it. >> this year, we're going bigger. we started in santa monica last year but we pulled it up. this year, we are starting at skywalker ranch, in northern california. running with of the lightsaber, across the golden gate bridge. and if you got to starwars.com/courseoftheforce, you can sign up and that -- all that money will go to the make-a-wish foundation. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so happy you came back. >> i adore you. >> jimmy: we're so proud of you. he's on the cover. go pick up "wired" magazine. go check out his show, bbc america. let's end it like we always end it. lightsaber fight. >> the lightsabers! >> jimmy: yeah, red or blue? >> i think i kinda have to take red. >> jimmy: yeah, we're both blue? >> we're on the same side!

now we are against each other! [ screams ] >> jimmy: how dare you?! [ screams ] you guys, chris hardwick! go see him at caroline's, here, april 5th through the 7th. go to courseoftheforce.starwars.com to sign up for the charity run! little green cars perform next! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are making their american tv debut tonight to perform the song "harper lee" from their first

album, which is great. it's called "absolute zero." just released today. please welcome little green cars. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ like a crash i wait for the impact and like a train i wait for the smoke ♪ ♪ like a storm i wait for the silence and like a bluff i wait till you fold ♪ ♪ ooh there's a gun in the attic let me go grab it ♪ ♪ ooh i'd blow holes in my soul just so you can look

past it ♪ ♪ ooh yeah there's glass on the floor there's a hole in the roof ♪ ♪ ooh yeah the chandelier fell now the rain's falling through ♪ ♪ and like a dog i wait for my owner like a dog i wait for my owner ♪ ♪ and harper lee i'll kill me a bird harper lee ♪ ♪ and i sit back and i just watch it happen i sit back and i just watch it happen ♪ ♪ and just like you i won't say a word ♪ ooh there's a gun in the attic let me go grab it ♪ ♪ ooh

i'd blow holes in my soul just so you can look past it ♪ ♪ ooh yeah there's glass on the floor there's a hole in the roof ♪ ♪ ooh yeah the chandelier fell now the rain's falling through ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ooh i put mice in the kitchen

to see if you'd kill them ♪ m ooh oh no you let them live now there's twelve thousand kids ♪ ♪ ooh oh yeah you let them breed now i've got mouths to feed ♪ ♪ ooh oh yeah you let them stay now they've taken my place ♪ ♪ ooh yeah you left them alone now they're eating our home ♪ ♪ ooh [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the way to do it, brother. that's the way to do it. thank you, my friends. thank you so much. i appreciate it. little green cars! [ cheers and applause ] little green cars, look for their debut album, "absolute zero." my thanks to ice-t, chris hardwick! little green cars once again! [ cheers and applause ]

and the greatest band in late night, the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for carson daly! thank you for watching! have a great night! hope to see you tomorrow! bye-bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ captions paid for by nbc-universal television captions by vitac www.vitac.com ♪ >> carson: hey, welcome to the show, i'm carson daly. our setting is bar chloe and this is your "last call" line-up. tonight, we introduce you to the mastermind behind the brand new comedy central series "nathan for you," nathan fielder is coming up in the "spotlight." for our music, buckle in because we're heading to the mayan for the long awaited tv debut of the alt-metal super group tomahawk. that's going to be amazing. but first, jim jeffries is an australian comedian who is quietly taking the u.s.

by storm. he's picked up rave reviews for his hbo and showtime specials, and is a hot ticket item at the biggest comedy fest in the world. currently, you can find him starring in the filthy and funny fx series "legit." we go to beso in hollywood for tonight's interview. ♪ >> carson: for those who follow your career, like i do, i'm a big fan, and you've gone from like just this sort dark texture of comedy of drugs and alcohol and hookers. and now, there's this great show on fx and you're a father. >> i'm a father, yeah. i met my girlfriend on the pilot, she played the prostitute. >> carson: you're kidding me? >> no, no, the girl who's the hooker, kate -- >> carson: that's the mother of your -- she's beautiful. >> that's the mother of my child. yeah, she's lovely looking, you know. >> carson: oh, hot damn, jim. that's fantastic. >> when they look that good, you leave it in. [ laughs ] ♪ >> i'm 32 years old and i've never been laid. >> right. >> how could i, man? >> yeah. i -- never thought of that.