at&t. rethink possible. get high-speed internet from at&t for only $14.95 a month. vi good morning. war games -- the u.s. and south korea begin joint military exercises in a show of force following north korea's deadly artillery attack. how will the north respond? enemy within -- the teenager accused of trying to kill thousands at a portland tree lighting ceremony. this morning, new details on the chilling plot and dramatic capture. and heading home -- from packing up to pat-downs, millions of americans take to the skies and the roads on the busiest travel day of the year. what to expect as you get up and go today, sunday, november 28, what to expect as you get up and go today, sunday, november 28, 2010. captions paid for by nbc-universal television good morning. war games -- the u.s. and south

korea begin joint military exercises in a show of force following north korea's deadly artillery attack. how will the north respond? enemy within -- the teenager accused of trying to kill thousands at a portland tree lighting ceremony. this morning, new details on the chilling plot and dramatic capture. and heading home -- from packing up to pat-downs, millions of americans take to the skies and the roads on the busiest travel day of the year. what to expect as you get up and go today, sunday, november 28, 2010. and welcome to "today" on this sunday morning. i'm jenna wolfe. >> i'm carl quintanilla in for lester holt. if you're staying home, consider yourself lucky. >> some 40 million americans travel during the thanksgiving holiday weekend and today is believed to be the busiest travel day of the year. will the weather make the trip back tougher for you? we'll let you know in a moment. >> and get ready for cyber monday, the online shopping version of black friday and retailers are promising bigger bargains on the web. what are the best internet deals? that's ahead. >> i have to get on that. i say i'm going to do cyber monday and then it's january. did i miss cyber monday? >> they say log on tonight at midnight. >> now i know why i never get on that. that's why. and we are going to switch gears to the former "survivor" producer accused of killing his wife.

she was killed during a family vacation to cancun this year. the victim's husband is in a los angeles jail and has a hearing tomorrow. we'll have the latest on that. >> also, prince william is ready to be married but is in no rush for the throne. he's responding to a poll showing most people in britain want him, and not his dad, to be the next king. we'll have more of what william said in a moment. >> first, the show of force in a growing international crisis. now a flotilla of u.s. and south korea warships are engaged in military exercises as tensions with north korea appear to be reaching a boiling point. nbc news chief foreign correspondent richard engel is live for us in seoul. richard, good morning. >> reporter: good morning, jenna, from a very snowy seoul, south korea. tensions are high here and really across the region as those joint u.s./south korean military exercises have begun. those exercises are meant to be a warning to north korea after it attacked a south korean

island last tuesday. north korea is taking this as a direct threat. today, according to north korean officials, north korea deployed surface-to-air missiles near the coastline, also put longer-range missiles on launch pads and has deployed anti-ship missiles. so far, nothing has been fired but it is an indication of how tense the situation is. for its part today, china -- which exerts influence over north korea -- engaged in some diplomacy, offering a concrete solution, offering to hold multi party talks with north korea, the united states and south korea among other parties in beijing later this week. jenna? >> richard, what makes this particular confrontation so different? we have been hearing so much rhetoric all week. are these countries really at the brink of war here? >> the feeling here is that the two countries are not at the brink of war, but we have been seeing a pattern of aggression, according to u.s. military officials on behalf of north korea.

there has been erratic behavior, aggressive behavior and all of the pieces are in place for a serious escalation. the warships are here. there is intense rhetoric from both sides, not just from the north, also from the south. so a relatively minor incident if the north koreans decided to launch any of the missiles. it could provoke a very serious chain of events. >> richard engel, thank you. david gregory is the moderator of "meet the press" and joins us now. david, good morning. >> good morning, jenna. >> as richard engel just mentioned, the situation between north korea and south korea is delicate at best. what strategy are we likely to see from president obama? what are his options? >> there aren't a lot of great options. china stepping forward, calling for some talks, is a great sign. the administration wants china to try to wind this thing down. that's what president obama will try to do here. ultimately try to wind this down. there is a great show of force here by the u.s. to say to north korea, "back off." they will do these exercises

with the south that were long-planned but send a powerful message coming as they do this weekend. but ultimately it's about getting the talks together, trying not to make this a u.s. versus north korea stand-off. that's always what the u.s. tries to do going back to previous administrations when these acts of provocation come about. >> all right. the other big story we're following is the big wikileaks dump. another possible release of the classified information to the public this weekend. what is the administration so worried about here? i understand secretary of state hillary clinton has begun making calls to other countries to warn them of what may be coming out here. is this really -- could this be as embarrassing as the white house is afraid it could be? >> well, some of the administration officials say there are certainly revelations in some of the cables that would be problematic for some individuals, that would make diplomacy difficult, having to do with our relationship with afghanistan, our relationship with russia.

some are unvarnished opinion that don't make the diplomatic game easier. that's what the administration is trying to protect against at a sensitive time. obviously sensitive with the relationship with hamid karzai in afghanistan or our efforts to get the arms reduction treaty, the s.t.a.r.t. treaty ratified in the senate. that's the step that's led secretary of state clinton and others to try to ease this. these are damaging leaks according to the government. very difficult to manage in terms of national security information that's laid bare but also the diplomatic piece so that's why they are working so hard to try to mitigate whatever damage there might be. >> congress heads back to a lame duck congress this week. there is a lot on their plate. unemployment benefits, the so-called bush tax cuts. are we expecting gridlock or potentially a compromise? >> i think on the tax cuts you have to look for compromise. there's been inconsistent talk about it. the president is signalling compromise but wants to get in the room with republican leaders before he does that.

the question is if he'll call the bluff, put pressure on them to do middle class tax cuts first before giving on the tax cuts for the upper earners. and jobless benefits, democrats want extended especially during the holiday season. will he be able to pull that across while he gets other things done? don't ask, don't tell. he wants the ban on gays and lesbians lifted as well as the s.t.a.r.t. treaty. it's a full agenda when there is still such a reservoir of distrust between the white house and republicans. >> all right. david gregory. thanks. now here's carl. >> we are learning more about the alleged terror plot in oregon and the suspect who authorities say wanted to detonate a car bomb at a crowded christmas tree lighting ceremony. jim foreman joins us this morning from portland. jim, good morning. >> reporter: good morning, carl. we are learning more about mohamed mohamud including an incident with a classmate who claims mohamud told him he, quote, hates americans.

it was taken seriously enough that school counselors had to get involved. but no one we have talked with could imagine mohamud being involved with some kind of bomb plot. portland's pioneer courthouse square is alive with the sounds of the holidays and full of shoppers. it was here federal prosecutors allege mohamed osman mohamud wanted to detonate his car bomb during the christmas tree lighting ceremony. the mayor offered high praise for law enforcement. >> this individual was going to try to carry out mass destruction in portland. i'm pleased that they were as patient, as persistent, as smart as they were in this investigation. >> reporter: according to court records mohamud said he was interested in jihad since he was an early teen. even writing for a jihadist website under an assumed name. he went to west view high school in the portland suburb of beaverton where classmates

recall he once gave a presentation on how to make an explosive device. an hour and a half away is a college town where mohamud lived in an off-campus apartment and prayed at this mosque. >> i would say he did a number of things against the religion. he had a lifestyle that was against the religion. i can't say he was in a position to represent islam. >> reporter: while the details of the plot are shocking enough, even more stunning to portland's residents is that it happened here. >> that's really scary. at least they caught him. >> we want to share a message of peace. >> reporter: at courthouse square the local muslim community handed out peace flyers. leaders quick to distance themselves from mohamed mohamud and the alleged bomb plot. >> we condemn terrorism whole heartedly and we believe there is no room for violence in islam. we actively need to start taking a stand for peace. >> reporter: those islamic leaders are reaching out to the portland community asking for understanding and calling for calm, but already we are learning there have been threats made against local mosques and

community centers, threats that are being taken seriously by police. carl? >> jim, thanks for that. the fbi says the terror threat was real and the suspect planned a grand attack. let's bring in nbc's counter terrorism expert. good morning, roger. >> good morning. >> the suspect is 19 years old. mohamed mohamud, this naturalized somali who was in contact apparently with someone from pakistan. what do we know about the people he might have been talking to? >> well, carl, this is the most interesting unknown question now -- unknown answer to it which is who was he? this is someone who was in the united states. he attended high school from 2007 to 2009. then went to yemen and then pakistan. when mohamud tried to contact him, he contacted him at an internet address traced back to the northwest frontier in pakistan which is where most of the terrorist infrastructure is. what we are seeing is another example of a pakistani nexus to a lot of the u.s. homegrown

extremist plots. finding this individual, i think, is going to be a high priority for u.s. counter terrorism. >> authorities think he was probably acting alone, not under direction of a larger foreign group. what is the likelihood that he was part of a larger cell? >> i think it's pretty low right now. if he was working with others, i think you would have seen them wrapped up by the fbi at the same time mohamud was arrested. the good news here is that the fbi was onto mohamud for so long that his e-mail traffic, cell phone communications, that was all monitored leading up to the event where he was arrested on friday. i think any individuals he talked to overseas will be a higher priority now. whoever he was working or associating with domestically, i don't think were a part of this plot. >> there was a question of this happening in portland, oregon and the suspect himself said nobody would think this would happen in portland. do we need to think more about dangers in the cities other than the big cities on the east coast? >> that's right. we have seen arrests in

recent months in illinois, in texas. we on the east coast are so focused on new york and washington as where the threat vector is pointed, but any major metropolitan area in the united states could be a potential target. when you see homegrown extremism rising as a priority, then basically any city in the country could be at risk. >> finally, there is a question about the sting operation. when you get fbi agents acting as actors in an operation to target someone into a scheme, what kind of decision-making goes into the process? when do authorities know they can actually pursue the strategy? >> some people will criticize this as entrapment. that's not the case. this was good law enforcement work. bottom line is once an individual goes from aspirational -- aspiring to conduct a terrorist act and wants to become operational which is what mr. mohamud used in his own words, the fbi has an

obligation to prevent the individual from doing it. once individuals decide to go operational, the fbi has every responsibility to take them down. thankfully that's what happened in portland on friday. >> roger, thank you very much. >> you bet, carl. now a look at some other stories we're working on for you with lynn barry at the news desk. good morning. >> good morning. today is one of the busiest travel days of the year at the nation's airports as all of you thanksgiving travelers are headed home. the big question, will mother nature factor into the travel picture? julie martin from weather channel is live at o'hare with more on that. good morning. >> reporter: good morning. chicago is named the nation's busiest thanksgiving travel airport, but it won't be the worst weather airport, at least not today. much like wednesday when millions of people flooded the nation's airports trying to get to thanksgiving dinner, the real travel troubles will be in the west. a powerful winter system there dumping snow from utah to colorado, already made a mess in spokane, washington. about eight inches of snow there yesterday.

treacherous road travel as well. now, the airport we're going to be watching most carefully today is salt lake city. could see one to two feet of snow in the higher elevations. there are also windy conditions. so traveling in or out of salt lake and airports and some of the mountainous areas and resort areas like aspen could be touch and go, at least for today. again, one of the busiest travel holidays. the good news, lynn, is that everything east of the mississippi, major cities from chicago to new york, looks like clear skies. just going to have to deal with travel troubles indoors instead of outside. >> sharing it with everybody else. the weather channel's julie martin. julie, thanks so much. police in michigan are searching for three young brothers missing since their father tried to commit suicide. the man told investigators he left his 9-year-old, 7-year-old and 5-year-old with a woman he met online. police have not found the woman. 39-year-old john skelton is being treated for mental health issues.

black friday sales up this year. shopper track says there was 2% more traffic this year but sales only rose .3%. tomorrow is a big shopping day. coming up in the next half hour we'll tell you how to prepare for cyber monday. there apparently won't be a game of royal leapfrog when it comes to the next king of england. royal sources are insisting that prince william has no desire to climb the ladder of kingship before his father, prince charles. of course speculation had been swirling after several recent polls indicated most people preferred prince william to his father as the next monarch. finally, a head-turner in a college football game saturday. take a look at this. oklahoma state's broderick brown made a spectacular play as he deflected a pass while in midair to his teammate sean lewis.

lewis was able to hold onto the ball for the interception. the cowboys would not score on the ensuing possession, but it was a play fans won't soon forget. i'm a sooner fan. so i have to end this on boomer sooner. that's the news. now back to jenna. >> bringing a touch of basketball to a football game. >> right? >> also debbie downer. the most amazing play ever. they didn't score or anything. i wanted to make sure you knew that. thanks, lynn. janice has a check on the weather. >> it would have been more exciting if they scored. whatever. it's okay. let's check weather. most of the action is out west over the interior west. the storm system moving out of california. it will bring snow to the rockies and over interior portions of utah as well. salt lake city, three to six inches. higher elevations up to a foot all the way into the northern rockies. showers in the pacific northwest. breezy and warm over the central planes. 50s over kansas and 60s and 70s in texas. it's clear in the east. that's wha

yesterday was all about the rain and today, well, it's all about the very cold weather. our forecast high today running below average, so even though we'll see sunshine, you need to bundle up. this afternoon it will be sunny, but temperatures will be below normal. and then tonight, very cold temperatures, once that sunsets, we'll see the temperature its beginning to plummet. we will see it warm upcoming later this week, but today it's all about bundling up even with all the sthin. now here's carl. >> thanks. up next on "today" -- charged with murder. an arrest is made in the case of a missing college student. the details right after this. - i'll be home soon. until then, i have my wingman helping me out. tommy? - i helped dad pick it out. - it's beautiful. - behind every open heart is a story. tell yours with my open heart collection at kay jewelers, the number one jewelry store in america. there are millions of reasons to give one, but the message is always the same:

keep your heart open, and love will always find its way in. - i love you. - i love you too. the ex-boyfriend of a college student who disappeared over thanksgiving break is being held for her murder this morning. the story from mike taibbi. >> reporter: she was only 20, petite and pretty, a ballerina. now jenni-lyn watson is a murder victim. the suspect, 21-year-old steven piper, her on again, off again boyfriend. she told him in october it was over. >> ms. watson was removed from the residence by mr. piper and within a short period of time dumped, frankly like garbage. it takes an extraordinary type of individual to do that and

then let his parents cling to hope that maybe their daughter would be found alive. >> reporter: hundreds in liverpool, new york, and surrounding counties helped in the search. while the search continues there were vigils in liverpool and in erie, pennsylvania where she was one of the best liked students on campus. >> great girl. really friendly, caring. always willing to help a friend out in need. >> she always had a smile on her face. the girls always say she lights up a room. >> reporter: now the park near her home is a crime scene. police believe she was dumped here. piper has been arraigned on second-degree murder charges. an autopsy scheduled for sunday will determine how his former girlfriend was killed. mike taibbi, nbc news, new york.

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take a live look at christmas in the park. downtown san jose. it will be lit up later today and is always free. let's check the forecast. see if maybe it's a good day to check it out. >> today's forecast highs, i think they look more like our typical lows. take a look at oakland, the forecast high today, just 57 degrees. 56 in concord, 53 in livermore. we'll be up to 58 in gilroy. reaching 54 in santa cruz.

all this is behind yesterday's really rainy weather. now we have high pressure building in and right now we're on the cold sigh of high pressure. skies forecast to be clear, but even with all that sunshine, the cold air it in-s to come in. and then once the sunsets tonight, temperatures are going to drop rapidly yet again. so if you're heading out today or tonight, make sure you're dressed in layers because we're looking at very cold temperatures. our forecast is still running well below average. so for today, make sure you're bundling up when you leave the house. this afternoon, cool sunshine, temperatures below normal. and then tonight we'll see the temperature its dropping rapidly. >> tomorrow san quentin inmate charged with fatally stabbing another prisoner will appear in court. police say the 31-year-old stabbed schaffer in the prison yard on july 26th. now, schaffer was at san quentin already awaiting transfer to another jail to serve a 24 to year life sentence in connection with a dui crash that killed a

nevada ghirl and injured her father. he's currently serving a 60 years to life sentence for murdering a homeless man three years ago. tomorrow seven suspects in a brutal gang rape case will appear in court. that hear willing allow a judge to figure out whether there is enough evidence to go to trial. police say more than a dozen people stood by and watched as a 16-year-old girl was beaten and raped outside the homecoming dance. at least one of the suspects tolded police that that zest se kco consensul. an attack happened at about 12:30 thursday morning near el camino. she was walk to go meet her mother after spending the night with friends when a man pushed her to the ground from behind. whole foods is pulling seven

different kinds of cheese off the shelves made by california companies as part of a national recall. central valley based bravo farms put out a recall after dozens of people got sick from samples ate at cost company stores. testing of the cheese found strains of list it tear i can't and e. coli. the company encourages customers to throw away the cheese or to take it back and get a refund. coming up at 7:00 on today in the bay, did he act alone? new details about a 19-year-old's plan to about him a christmas tree lighting and how police busted him without putting the public in danger. that story and the rest of the day's news all coming up at 7:00. right now here's back to the "today" show.

and we're back on this sunday morning, november 28, 2010. the last weekend in november. it certainly feels that way. there is a chill in this new york air today. we've got a nice, great crowd on the plaza this morning. our thanks to them for spending part of the weekend with us. they are excited. that's warming me up. outside on the plaza, i'm jenna wolfe alongside carl quintanilla in for lester holt today. nice to have you. >> good to be here. >> still to come, the hollywood producer accused of murdering his wife. >> bruce beresford redman is headed back to court tomorrow.

we're going to find out what he faces when he eventually face it is judge. >> and then, carl, do you know the right way to say "i'm sorry"? >> do i know what i'm apologizing for? >> that's if you did something. >> exactly. >> studies show women are more likely to say "i'm sorry" than men. why? this morning we'll ask the experts and get surprising answers. >> tomorrow, cyber monday, as you probably know. the online holiday blitz that kicks off tomorrow. do you know where to find the best discounts? they are all on the web and we'll show you where to go coming up. >> first, today is the annual "today" toy drive. here to help us kick off this year is neil cole of peanuts worldwide here with his daughter charli. how appropriate. i understand peanuts has been donating to "today" for years

now. tell us what you are donating this year? >> a combination of plush toys like snoopy, books, clothing. over $50,000 worth of products for people in need. >> what do you have here? >> snoopy? >> that's adorable. i bet a lot of kids would like a doll like that. why do you think it's so important to donate this time of year? >> this is a time where unfortunately over 20% of the country is under the poverty level. not everyone can afford nice toys. we're so supportive of what "today" is doing and we want to help support you. >> we want to thank you so much. thank you very much. did you have fun? good. she's adorable. >> one more check of the weather from janice. >> good morning, carl. i think it's cold enough out here. well, the hillbillys made it to new york. not the beverly hillbillies.

the big stone gap hillbillies. did you have a nice weekend? >> wonderful. >> we have all these cutie-pies. hi, girls. where are you from? >> lynnbrook. >> long island. not far. we're neighbors. i love your american girls. and queens, love to see you here. let's check the weather. of course it's chilly in the east. we expect it to be sunny today. a lot less windy. we'll at least be warmer in new york city, philadelphia, boston. showers start to spread across the nation tomorrow. snow from the northern plains and the upper midwest, changing over to rain over the ohio valley, back down to the gulf coast. thunderstorms over florida. cold weather out west. mountain snow over the rockies and rain in the pacific northwest. how are you? good morning. where are you from? >> new york. >> are you having fun? >> yeah! >> i think so. got to love it.

all right. >> -- yesterday was all about the rain and today is about the very cold weather. our forecast high today running below average, so even though we'll see sunshine, you need to bundle up if you're heading out of the house. this afternoon it will be sunny, but temperatures will be below normal. and then tonight, very cold temperatures. once that sunset, we'll see the temperatures beginning to plummet. we will see a warm-up, though, coming later this week, but today it's all about bundling up even with all the sunshine. tonight it's football night in america here on nbc. we've got another big game. i hope you will tune in. this one is at lucas oil stadium in indianapolis. of course it's a retractable dome, so the weather doesn't matter inside. but mostly clear and cold with temperatures in the 30s as the chargers come to visit the colts. that's a check of your football

forecast right here on nbc. now back inside to jenna. >> all right, janice. thank you. now to the former reality show producer accused of killing his wife in cancun. this morning bruce beresfordredman is in jail but will be in court tomorrow asking a judge to set him free. here's more. >> reporter: wearing handcuffs and a t-shirt, bruce beresford-redman never entered a plea in his first court appearance. charged in cancun with the death of his wife monica he'll be back in court monday for a bail hearing fighting extradition to mexico. his lawyer says he's innocent. >> we think we have the circumstances here, special circumstances to justify bail in this case. we'll be presenting that to the judge. >> reporter: in april, monica redman's nude body was found dumped in a hotel sewer. her husband was the only suspect and was told not to leave the country. prosecutors in mexico took weeks to file charges. by the time they did, bruce had

fled. monica's sisters traveled to cancun several times to press for murder charges. relieved by news of his arrest this month they were in court to see bruce shackled, facing a judge. >> i feel this is just the beginning. we are here, ready to keep on fighting for justice for my sister and for the love that we have for her. >> reporter: after spending months free in los angeles caring for the couple's children, when bruce was arrested, court documents were released outlining the case against him. on the night of monica's murder, hotel guests heard screaming, crying for help from the couple's room. forensic teams later found blood stains on pillars in the room, sheets on the bed and a railing on the balcony. when questioned by police, investigators say bruce had scratches or abrasions on both hands, behind his ear, on his left shin and right ankle. >> he's prepared to fight the charges. we hope a judge will release him while the extradition is

ongoing. >> reporter: the extradition case could take upwards of a year. we may soon find out if bruce beresford-redman fight it is charges from his home or a jail cell. nbc news, los angeles. >> we're back after these messages. - the craving for chocolate... - oooh. - is all grown up. - oooh. - jared presents beautiful natural levian chocolate diamonds and chocolate south sea pearls. levian is the only company on earth to make jewelry with chocolate diamonds. levian: the leading family in jewelry, from ancient royalty to today's red carpet. you will only find these styles at jared. levian chocolate diamonds: they're anything but vanilla. that's why he went to jared.

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things for cyber monday with shoppers going online. here is regina lewis, aol's adviser. >> hi, carl. >> your advice is you have to still get annerly start. >> i think so. it starts at midnight tonight. prioritize your time based on price. if you are after a big ticket item like fine jewelry, a laptop, an e-read and you want a discount you have to be fast. it starts at 12:00 midnight. lunchtime on the work force is prime time. >> the earlier you're on, the more likely you are to get a bargain and that the items will be in stock. >> selection, yep. >> what can you do ahead of that? we have 15 hours to go. how do we prepare? >> start to register for sites you're going to shop on. type in your shipping address, billing address. here's why. people get burned on this. it's not enough to have the item in your cart. tomorrow when you find the deal and put it in the cart, it is

not yours until you complete the checkout process. by being registered for the site, it is speeds up the whole thing. >> you say there are big box websites you would go to maybe first. >> walmart is all about how low can you go. what people don't understand about walmart is they have tens of thousands of items they don't have in stores. amazon does something called lightning deals which is they announce them, it's a limited quantity. they roll them out every half hour. you have to be decisive. we spoke with sears and outerwear will be 70% off. good time to buy a coat. >> some credit cards give you cash back. you could double your money in that respect. >> that's a new trend. people are looking at not just what to buy, when and how to pay for it. what currency are you using and are you optimizing it? there is a site called shortcuts.com where as i'm shopping i'm earning cash back. they send you a check in the mail. three months later we tested it.

your point about credit cards as i earn 1% cash back, i get that, too. double win. >> you got the check. >> it works. >> free shipping, everybody knows in some cases you have to spend before you get it. how big incentive is that? >> the words are the single most effective procedure. if it's $75 before free shipping kicks in and you spent $65, do you want to spend ten bucks on shipping or on a couple pairs of socks? >> is it worth it? >> amazon killed it with the business model. it's about $79 and it's free all you can eat shipping for the year. if you do a lot of shopping it more than pays for itself. >> ready, set, click. regina, thank you very much. here's jenna. ♪ how many times ♪ can i say i'm sorry >> this morning on he said, she said, the art of the apology. sorry is often a hard word to say. when it comes to men and women,

the trouble only begins there. >> jenny, i -- i'm sorry. >> love means never having to say you're sorry. >> that may have worked for them. everyone else seems to be saying "i'm sorry" these days. from the umpire whose missed call ended the chance for a perfect day. >> nobody feels worse than i do. >> on twitter. and over a couple of cold ones. when it comes to men -- >> i once jumped in ahead of somebody and took his cab. >> last thing i apologized for was buying very expensive shoes. >> reporter: there is a gender apology gap. women apologize 35% more often than men. it's because women find more situations worthy of an apology. but saying "sorry" isn't always easy.

>> why is an apology so hard? probably because it takes swallowing your pride and most people are a little bit stubborn in some ways. >> it's hard to admit you're wrong. apologizing admits you're wrong. >> reporter: joining us is harriet cole, president of harriet cole media and philip glonis from the sunday style section of the new york times. good morning to you. >> good morning. >> the studies show women apologize more than men. first of all, whatever. second, is it because women do more things wrong or they are more apt to suck it up, apologize and be the bigger person? >> i think it's women responding to conventional wisdom that women are nurturers. they say "i'm sorry" all the time and men are like john wayne and never apologize, it makes you look weak. that feels old-fashioned to me. i know women you can't wrestle

an apology out of and men that say "i'm sorry" when somebody bumps into them. it's more important that we all keep in mind that a good apology is like super glue. it fixes just about everything. >> an honest apology. >> not just saying the words. >> saying it just to say it without sincerity is really insulting, i think. >> you feel like you say "i'm sorry" more than -- >> i have said in the past, do you want me to say i'm sorry? fine. i'm sorry. that doesn't mean anything. >> i agree that probably more women sincerely apologize than men. i think it might be because women tend to look at the whole picture. so to include how you are responding to whatever has happened as opposed to, you know, i'm right all the time. i think guys think i'm doing the right thing, i am right, so this isn't a big deal. >> is it possible to apologize too much and then it loses and gets watered down? >> rightment. >> i think it's too much if it's insincere. if you do something wrong, you

should admit that you did it wrong and acknowledge that you don't want to do it wrong and let the other person know. >> there are people who aren't being apologized to and that really hurt. >> how do you make sure an apology is sincere? speak slowly? that helps me. >> first you have to process it and understand what did you do. then you can say, you know, i recognize that i hurt your feelings. it was not my intention. i will do my best not to do that again. >> that's a good one. >> exactly. that kanye west apology to taylor swift is a great example. he never really owned -- i hurt you and i'm sorry. it's like, she's a girl, i was this, she's got her dream, la, la. it's not enough to explain why -- you know, i stole your cab from you, jenna, i'm really sorry, but i was running late.

why do you care? >> there is no excuse for that behavior. that's where i step in to say you have to process it. if you did that, like the guy said last time he apologized was when he stole a cab, he needs to understand he shouldn't do that again. if you understand that what you did is fundamentally wrong then when you apologize you are also committing to yourself and another that you won't do it again. >> let me take a flip side on this. i actually think getting people who don't understand they have done something wrong to apologize is a very low likelihood of changing that behavior. the bigger likelihood is, say the statistics are right and women aren't being apologized to and it's hurting their feelings, speak up. >> say something. >> you have to defend yourself. >> you've got to say something. i get letters from someone saying he or she hurt my feelings, i'm not talking to her again until she apologizes. life is long. we don't get that many friends.

do not lose one because of a stupid "i'm sorry". >> swallow your pride, admit it and change your behaviors. we'll be right back after these messages. the information coming at her concerning the medicare part d changes this year. so she went to her walgreens pharmacist for guidance and a free personalized report that looks at her prescriptions and highlights easy ways for her to save. because norma prefers her painting to paperwork. see how much you can save. get your free report today. expertise -- find it everywhere there's a walgreens. because they have 20% more calcium per chew than viactiv

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this morning on "today at the rink" jeremy abbott and some of skating's best will be part of the nbc special. jeremy, good morning. >> good morning. >> this sounds like an amazing special, not your everyday run of the mill ice skating special, right? >> absolutely not. there are amazing champions, olympic, world, international, national champions. it was a pleasure to get to

skate with mannheim steamroller. >> different music than usual. a lot of champions, many olympic champions. what was it like being a part of the ensemble? >> it was a treat for me. you know, i'm up and coming and i got to skate with seasoned professionals who i have looked up to for a long time. to be in a cast as part of that, i really felt really proud. i mean, it's a cool thing to skate with amazing champions. >> you're a two-time national champion yourself. what have you been up to? >> i have been on the grand prix on nbc and universal sports and doing shows like pan dora holidy moments on ice and also training hard this year. >> i know you have to start in the corner of the rink. you can watch "pandora's

unforgettable holiday moments on ice" today 4:00 to 6:00 p.m. eastern on nbc. jeremy, abbott. take it away. ♪ ♪

♪ >> jeremy abbott, t you. we're back after these messages. . [chuckles] trust me. i know. ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. - introducing charmed memories, a new collection at kay jewelers. each design is hand-crafted in italy,

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let's get a check on what's coming up this morning on "meet the press." for that we send it over to david gregory again. >> good morning, jenna. the latest on escalating tensions with north korea. and it is back to work for the president and congress. what will get done during the lame duck session? joining me, assistant majority leader dick durbin and jon kyl from arizona. then our political roundtable weighs in as 2012 shapes up. that's coming up. >> that does it for us. coming up next weekend on "today," what's on our holiday play list, right? >> fun times. >> exactly. >> i thought so. >> thank you very much for being with us. we'll see you we'll see you take care, everyone. -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com