bay area connected tv app. it is available for apple tv, google tv, amazon fire tv and roku. download the app now so you can start streaming. thank you so much for watching! i'm ama daetz and i'm dan ashley for sandyha patel, erbil, all of us. >> we appreciate your time as always right now on jimmy kimmel, ryan gosling and jeff ross. >> have a great night. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, ryan gosling -- and jeff ross. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: thank you, thank you. that's very nice. thank you. welcome. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. don't think i don't appreciate it. thank you for joining us in beautiful hollywood in spring. the dumpsters are in full bloom. [ cheers and applause ] and, you know, it's a special day. april is behind us. today is the first day of may. and once again, our nation's newscasters were caught flat-footed. >> may 1st, can you believe it? >> yeah, no. >> crazy. >> i know. >> i really can't believe may is here, sherry. >> i can't believe it's may already. >> i know. >> i can't believe it's may 1st already. >> it is may 1st, a new month, can you believe it? >> i can't believe it's already may. >> i cannot believe it's already may. >> kind of flabbergasted it's already may. >> i couldn't believe it. >> oh, my gosh.

i can't believe it's the first day of may. >> first day of may, can you believe it? >> may 1st, i can't believe it. >> can you believe that it's may 1st? >> huh-uh, no. >> can you believe it's may? >> i can't believe it's may. >> hard to believe it's may. >> hard to believe it's already may. >> hard to believe it's already may. >> hard to believe that it is already may. >> hard to believe it's already may. >> yeah. >> yes. >> may 1st. >> is it right now, i feel like it's one of those clips with jimmy kimmel, they take the sound bites, i can't believe it's may 1st! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, congratulations, i think. i think my goal is to become synonymous with the passing of time. every month people will think of me at the beginning. i want to say, we have a very sexy show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] a very sexy show. jeff ross is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] oh, and ryan gosling is here too.

[ cheers and applause ] oh, i expected the opposite reaction. ryan is here promoting his new movie, "the fall guy." ryan is from canada -- [ cheers ] -- which is up there, that way, it's above it. he is not part of this, or he would certainly win, but according to a new study of american accents, out of all the american accents, you know which one is the most attractive is the most attractive? the southern accent. a southern accent is number one. number two is new york, which, if you've ever heard my aunt chippy speak, you know how seductive that can be. [ laughter ] >> jimmy, this is your aunt. i can't believe this [ bleep ] you made me watch. i can't believe this is the [ bleep ] that you wound up digging up to get me out of vegas to come here for? what the hell is wrong with you? do you know what they're doing here? i can't even let my grandchildren watch this. i wouldn't want anybody's grandchildren -- you're not even going to watch it.

i can't believe what you made me watch today, you little [ bleep ]. you little [ bleep ]. i hate you. good-bye. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's my godmother. my phone is full of those. it's why i never answer when she calls. i want the voicemails. [ laughter ] the third most attractive accent is california, which as far as i know does not exist, and then we have texas, boston, midwestern, miami, chicago, minnesota in ninth, and in last place, new orleans, and this is a poll that was commissioned by an online casino, so we know it's legitimate. [ laughter ] this study is an important reminder that not all things need to be studied. [ laughter ] i do agree with number one, though. there's nothing sexier than a southern accent. >> mike johnson fully joined the disgusting business model of washington, d.c. to fund forever wars. yeah, that's what this is. the uniparty is make ukraine great again. >> jimmy: oh, very clever.

that is the klan mom, marjorie taylor greene, who is furious because her plan to oust yet another speaker of the house has been foiled. because she hasn't been getting enough attention lately, the greene goblin declared war on her fellow republican mike johnson, who did the unthinkable and compromised with democrats and moderate republicans to get something done. marj says next week, she will introduce a motion to vacate speaker johnson, but she won't get far, because democrats have promised to step across the aisle and vote to save johnson, for the good of the house. >> now we have hakeem jeffries and the democrats coming out, embracing mike johnson with a warm hug and a big, wet, sloppy kiss. >> jimmy: oh, man, i would hate to be marj's kettle bells on a day like this. [ laughter ] wait till she finds out that hakeem jeffries has also agreed to be mike's new porn accountability partner. [ laughter ] >> people fed up with the drama on television and fed up with the fighting and fed up with the bull [ bleep ] from washington,

d.c. >> jimmy: want you to go away forever? >> are ready for a republican majority that's ready to support president trump and his agenda in january of 2025. >> jimmy: oh, i thought it was going to be something different. this woman is in congress, by the way. this is not one of the random crazy people standing outside the house screaming. this crazy person came from inside the house. [ laughter ] what kind of behavior? she's acting like such a child. matt gaetz just asked her out on a date! [ moans and laughter ] [ rim shot ] >> jimmy: thank you. most republicans, it would seem, have had enough of marjorie. but some, like thomas massie from kentucky, think she's just great. >> well, it's an honor to be here today with one of the hardest-fighting, most articulate members of our republican conference. >> jimmy: wow. the activator in his jheri curl is really working hard. [ laughter ] take it from me, the wettest member of the republican conference. [ laughter ] the house is expected to vote on a motion to vacate next week, which would create yet another

unnecessary mess. you know, the last time a congresswoman tried to take out a johnson, lauren boebert got thrown out of "beetlejuice." [ laughter ] so, and then, over in the senate, we have ted cruz, who president biden last week issued an executive order that would require airlines to give out refunds when they cancel a flight on you, and ted cruz, of course, is against that. cruz is co-sponsor of a bill that will make it harder for consumers to get refunds in the event of a last-minute delay or cancelation. isn't that great? he somehow manages to be on the wrong side of literally every issue. [ laughter ] you've almost have to admire his consistency. ted cruz, it's like he saw all the diarrhea on the planes and is like, "i want in on that." [ laughter ] sweaty teddy is also running a contest right now that offers his fans the opportunity of a lifetime. >> the kentucky derby, it's a tradition like no other. i'm inviting you to enter our cruz derby contest. just visit tedcruz.org/derby to enter your pick to win the

kentucky derby, and you'll have a chance to win a professional photo of the winning horse signed by me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. i'm a little unclear. is he signing the horse, or is he signing the picture of the horse? [ laughter ] maybe he's putting a hoof print on the horse? i don't know. meanwhile, this is how naptain america got his day started. [ laughter ] he posted this intriguing brain teaser. "where's sleepy joe? he's sleeping, that's where!!!" [ laughter ] a riddle for 3-year-olds. put that back up, i need to analyze this. okat, so what he does is he poses a question. "where's sleepy joe?" and then we have to go through a process, like, what does he mean, where's sleepy joe? we saw the president yesterday. is he missing now? and why is he asking this? i thought it was hunter he was always wheresing for? not joe. and why is a person who over the last three weeks has fallen asleep in public more times than a tree sloth calling anyone

other than himself sleeppy? it's a simple question. let's not get off track. "where's sleepy joe?" that's the question. and the answer is? "he's sleeping, that's where!" it's like a haiku. it's like an are you high-ku? [ laughter and applause ] and maybe the best part is -- put it up one more time. he posted this at 4:55 a.m. when everyone is sleeping. [ laughter ] even the guy who makes the doughnuts is sleeping. it's called projection. he's embarrassed that he's the one who keeps falling asleep, so he projects it on others. >> i would say they've tried a number of different devices to keep trump awake, partially in response or what appears to be in response to collective press corps observations. so, for example, when there are sidebars, an attorney doesn't leave his side anymore because leaving him alone means leaving him to potentially sleep. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, he hates that so much, he really does. in new york, there was no trial today, no stormy daniels trial. they take wednesdays off to air the place out. [ laughter ] which means trump was free to

fart on voters in wisconsin and michigan today. snoozin' b. anthony touched down in waukesha this afternoon, where, what do you think, in his first big rally since being fined for contempt of court, in the middle of a porn star hush money trial, what do you think he wanted to talk about first? that's right. fat jokes about chris christie. >> remember chris christie? he really liked me quite a bit, right? that's only because i was wise to him, and somebody screamed out, "he's a fat pig." and i said, "sir." and you know you're not allowed to use the "fat" word. if you use the fat word, you're essentially out of politics, right? there's certain words you can't -- you can say obese, but you can't say fat. i think obese is probably worse. >> jimmy: i love when he brings back the old hits, you know? but go on. >> but a person shouted out, "he's a fat pig, sir." and i said, "sir, never, ever call chris christie a fat pig, ever."

he is not a fat pig, please, i'll have to ask you to leave the room." so anyway. >> jimmy: so anyway. [ laughter ] and then after trying so hard not to say the "fat" word, orange julius pivoted directly to food! >> we're honored to be joined by shanna gray, who owns a vag-an stuff. supposed to be really good. i'm not into the vag-an stuff. we're going to come and try that vag-an food. i don't know if i'm going to like it. you get ready for me, maybe you can convince me with that vag-an food. a good healthy vag-an food. >> jimmy: that's right, shana, get ready for him to grab you by the vag-gin-na. vag-gan food. trump is unfamiliar with any food not offered on a meal deal menu. [ laughter ] and then, because things weren't already weird enough, wisconsin got a visit from the pillow fairy. >> you have this bucket of common sense that is our real president, donald trump, right? as he gets attacked and attacked, people are pouring

into this bucket, that once you're in that bucket of common sense, you have no reason to leave that bucket. >> jimmy: right. you should remain in the bucket indefinitely. we'll come get you out of the bucket when it's time. you know, trump has been complaining that he is stuck in court when he should be out campaigning. we came up with a solution for him. we figured out a way for him to be in two places at once. and it's really quite incredible. we blew him up to life size, we put some wheels on him. and watch this real closely here. [ laughter ] we call it the maga blaster. it's great for live performances, rallies, or clearing brush, whatever you like. [ laughter ] this is a big deal. after five decades, the dea is planning to reclassify cannabis from a schedule 1 category, which includes heroin, bath salts, and lsd, to a

less-serious schedule 3 category, which is like steroids and testosterone. pot would still be illegal on a federal level, but it's a big step forward, and it's about time. in california, marijuana is considered to be a vegetable. [ laughter ] like our kids don't get dessert unless they have it. according to the associated press, the move won't take effect immediately. you have to wait about 40 minutes before you start to feel it. [ laughter ] but once it does take hold, it will be a huge boost to the cannabis industry. finally, americans will be able to smoke pot recreationally. [ applause ] which, i know, yeah. anyway it was big news. weed lovers around the country were in even higher spirits than usual today. there's patriotism being shared. people are proud of our country for a change. so we sent a crew down the block to our favorite hollywood smokehouse, mmd, to invite shoppers coming out of the store to celebrate by reciting the pledge of allegiance, and here we go. ♪

>> johnny, let me hear you do the pledge of allegiance for us. >> oh, man. uh -- uh -- i ain't going to lie. >> i pledge allegiance to the -- of the united states of america to the -- i forgot. i lost it. >> i pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. >> i pledge allegiance to the -- i don't remember, to be honest. i don't remember. >> i pledge allegiance to the united states of america for which it stands. >> and to the -- nah, i don't even remember, i'm going to be honest with you. haven't done it since middle school. [ laughter ] >> to which the republic for which i stand -- >> and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under something, la, la, la. >> one republic for which it stands, one nation under god, indivisible, with life, liberty, justice and the pursuit of happiness? >> for one nation under god --

>> for one nation under god -- that's it. something, something for all. >> one nation under god -- invisible. [ laughter ] >> indivisible, and what is it, the last? and weed? >> pledge allegiance to the united states of america and to the republic for which it stands, one nation for god with liberty and justice for all. did i get it? >> close enough. >> oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. we've got a fun show tonight. jeff ross is here, and we'll be right back with ryan gosling, so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (marci) so, how long have you lived here? (opponent) over forty years. (marci) and how are the restaurants around here? are they good, bad, meh? what's the average household income? is there a mall? i don't know. a hair salon? where do you get your hair done?

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[ applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back to the show. tonight, you can see him taunting tom brady live on netflix this sunday night in "the greatest roast of all time." the roastmaster general jeff ross is with us. [ cheers and applause ] by the way, not only do we have a top-notch show tonight, we have a good one tomorrow, too. john mulaney will be here, and we'll have music from gary clark jr., and stevie wonder will be here playing for the first time.

[ applause ] our first guest tonight is a man from canada who played ken and got nominated for an oscar for it. next, he risks life and limb alongside emily blunt in the new rom-action comedy "the fall guy." it opens in theaters friday. please say hello to ryan gosling. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hey, roastmaster general jeff ross. >> congrats on the movie, man. >> thanks. >> nice suit. i didn't know it was still easter. [ laughter ] >> it's like a late summer peach. can i borrow your lamp? >> sure, man. have a great show. >> thanks. ♪ i would do anything for love ♪ ♪ i would do anything for love ♪

>> makeup, can i get some powder? how do i look? do i look cool? thanks. ♪ i would do anything for love ♪ ♪ but i just won't do that ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> what's up, kimmel? get him, get him, get him! go, go! finish him! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: well, that's -- [ cheers and applause ] yeah, give him some attention, will you? ouch. you okay? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you beat up a lot of our staff. you really beat a lot of people up on the way in. >> i can't stop stunting, jimmy. >> jimmy: is that what it is? [ laughter ] >> oh, my god. i couldn't stop kenning, and now i can't stop stunting. [ laughter and cheers ] >> jimmy: i understand. >> it makes you feel alive. >> jimmy: you know, carol burnett had the same entrance when she was here last week. >> really? how about guillermo? a lot of people don't know we use to have a street-fighting business as a side hustle.

i would set them up, he would knock them down. >> jimmy: have you been in a fight guillermo? >> guillermo: of course, i've been in a fight. >> jimmy: he's like a panda or koala bear. you think he looks so cute and gentle but he'll tear an eyeball right out of your head. >> we rope-a-dope them. >> jimmy: how are you doing? it's great to see you. and, by the way -- >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: -- just congratulations, because i know that for you, number one, the number one most important thing in your life is your career above family. [ laughter ] above the lord. you name it. >> right yeah. >> jimmy: it's number one. and man, oh, man -- >> sorry. can't stop stunting, jimmy. >> jimmy: you were -- >> you should try it. >> jimmy: you have really gone -- you know what you've done is here you've made not only the movie -- not only is the movie itself wildly entertaining, you've made the leadup to the movie wildly entertaining. it's almost like we got -- even if you don't see the movie, which you should see the movie, we got something out of the whole deal. you did a fantastic job on "saturday night live." [ cheers and applause ]

and then -- and then you took kind of a breakout -- well, let's run the clip there. the breakout stars of your appearance on "saturday night live" showed up at your premiere last night. you surprised everyone. >> well, that's dean and jeff. >> jimmy: right, yeah. you -- but that's you and mikey day. >> no, i look a lot like him, and he looks like beavis, it's weird. that's dean and jeff, they're both from sacramento. [ laughter ] but they never met until -- >> jimmy: yet another -- they've become friends? what do they do for work, those guys? >> oh, um, dean works at the chips ahoy factory. >> jimmy: really? >> uh-huh. not on the floor, he does sort of analytics. >> jimmy: okay. >> and jeff, he never gets on the floor. he never gets any cookies. it's a bummer.

and jeff works for safelite. >> jimmy: oh, the auto glass company? >> yep, yep. >> jimmy: okay. >> yeah, really good guys. >> jimmy: they seem like good guys. did they go to the after party? >> yeah, that's where i met them. they're having their moment. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the last time i saw you was at the oscars. you stole the show from me. [ cheers and applause ] you pulled off quite a heist. that was a great performance. >> you killed it. can we talk about how good you were? [ cheers and applause ] that was a really fun -- >> jimmy: it was fun. >> you know how i know you killed it, because i lost all night, and i felt like a winner still. [ laughter ] so somehow, you made that happen. >> jimmy: you should have felt like a winner. putting that whole performance of yours together was quite a team effort, an endeavor that a lot of people were involved in. i know you were nervous about how it would come off, right? >> i wonder why. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it looked so effortless when we saw the final deal, but, like, one of the things that i remember when we were planning the show that was

very important was that slash, the guitarist, was a part of this. >> we had to have slash. >> jimmy: you had to have slash. but slash was no -- >> he's an enigma. how can you have slash? you can't have slash. there's mystery around slash. >> jimmy: you don't snap your fingers, and he appears. >> no. it was very intense. >> jimmy: it was intense. >> he had a gig in china right before. >> jimmy: right. >> and then one in thailand the night after. >> jimmy: right. >> and so it was like, we're never going to -- slash is never going to be able to be here. >> jimmy: he wasn't at rehearsal. >> he wasn't at rehearsal. >> jimmy: he wasn't even at rehearsal the day of, right? >> suddenly right before, as i was walking into dress rehearsal, i saw a guitar case, and it had a skull with a top mat on it, and i knew that slash had arrived. >> jimmy: you knew he had arrived, yeah. >> then after the show, he was -- he was gone. >> jimmy: he was gone. he went right to the next gig. >> yes. >> jimmy: what was your first movie? was that the movie you did with burt reynolds? >> yeah. i'm surprised you don't know it, "frankenstein and me." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "frankenstein and me."

>> yes, previously "mojave frankenstein." >> jimmy: burt reynolds was a stuntman who became an actor. >> yeah. >> jimmy: kind of in this whole world, not that you did, but you're an actor that became a stuntman for a movie. not really a stuntman. you're not really a stuntman, you know that, right? >> no, but god, i love -- stunting is great. you ought to try -- did you see me doing stunts? >> jimmy: i did, i was watching. >> did stunts all the way out here. >> jimmy: and burt reynolds, you were, what, like a kid in this movie? >> yes. >> jimmy: how old were you? >> i was 13, 14. >> jimmy: did you get time with burt? >> it's complicated. [ laughter ] but i thought he took a shine to me. i thought he thought there was something special about me, and then i realized that i have a really beautiful mom. >> jimmy: oh. so your mom was on set with you? >> he was just kind of interested -- it was like i was getting, like, a secondary shine. [ laughter ] the real shine was for my mom, and i was like, oh, this is secondary shine. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how long did it take you to figure that out? >> i wish i had found out sooner.

>> jimmy: did your mom -- was she flattered by that? >> oh, my god, she loved it, are you kidding me? >> jimmy: man, if they'd gotten married -- >> nothing happened. okay? [ laughter ] he just liked -- >> jimmy: you could have been ryan reynolds had that worked out. [ laughter and applause ] >> this close. >> jimmy: did you talk to burt? was he, like -- was he friendly? did he give you -- >> yeah, but, you know, he was being friendly. he would sign stuff all the time. like, he signed a mean machine t-shirt. >> jimmy: oh, he did? >> yes. he told us not to see "deliverance," all the kids. >> jimmy: did he really? >> which, of course, is the first thing we did. we should have listened to him. >> jimmy: yeah, for sure. >> then he gave me this odd piece of advice. "let me tell you something, kid. don't spend your whole life stepping over diamonds to live with a cubic zirconia." >> jimmy: and what does that mean? >> i was like, "i'm 13." [ laughter ] "i don't know what any of those

things are." i don't know what any of that is. >> jimmy: but now that you're an adult -- >> stop looking at my mom. i'm right here. >> jimmy: ryan gosling is here with us. "the fall guy" is his movie. we'll be right back. ♪ [song playing - here comes the hotstepper by ini kamoze] ♪ man: ooh! ♪ ♪ ♪ woman 1: haha! woman 2: hmm hmm! ♪ woman 3: ha ha! ♪

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go away mom, please. mom: listen, open this door. boy: no. please open the door. how you feeling? >> he's good. >> we're going to go again. thumb's up, okay? do you feel a bit flung into the deep end? i'm wondering if you'd like some background, some context?

>> let's go with it. >> yes? here we go. so two characters, one of them's an alien. you're a space cowboy. they shared what's called a moon season. in real life you might call it a fling, brief but very intense and hopeful. >> i can hit the rock better now, thanks. >> we're going again! >> and action! >> that's a cut. >> you good? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back with ryan gosling. you should see his movie, "the fall guy." it opens in theaters on friday exclusively in theaters. [ cheers and applause ] and you are a -- i was thinking about this watching the movie. you're playing -- you're an actor playing a stuntman for an actor in a movie about an actor

who has a stuntman, and that's some christopher nolan-level inception-y stuff. [ laughter ] and then on top of it, to make it even more confusing, your director, the real director of the movie -- >> yes, david leitch. >> jimmy: david leitch, who did a fantastic job, is a stuntman, was a stuntman. you're always a stuntman if you were a stuntman. >> who better to make a film about a stuntman and the stunt community? >> jimmy: 100%, for sure. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you, and again, i'd like to remind you, you are not a stuntman. [ laughter ] >> i was doing some stunts earlier. >> jimmy: yeah, i know. [ laughter ] >> i was stunting pretty hard. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you do stunts, that's true. that wasn't a stuntman doing your stunts for you? >> you should try -- that was me doing those stunts. you should do some stunts too. i'm just saying, it will change -- >> jimmy: what kind of stunts do you think i can do? >> how many times have i walked out onto this chair?

it was never that exciting. >> jimmy: that was the most exciting. it's always exciting but never that exciting. >> the stakes, it was life or death. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> you didn't know if i was going to get here or not. you feel alive, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> when was the last time you felt alive? >> jimmy: i can't even think of a time. maybe when i was born was the last time. >> stunts! >> jimmy: when they cut that umbilical cord. i happen to have some very realistic-looking labeless beer bottles here. >> oh, this is great. do you want to break one my head? >> jimmy: you can break it on my head, whatever you think. >> we can do it at the same time. >> jimmy: that's a good idea. how are we going to count it down, though? is there any trick before i do this? >> wait. let me think. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i should be asking a stuntman. >> i think you want to do it on the back of the head. >> jimmy: are you wearing a cup? i might not do it on the head at all. >> do it on the head. >> jimmy: all right. >> ready? >> both: one, two, three. [ cheers and applause ] >> you feel alive!

>> jimmy: i do feel alive. >> come on! >> jimmy: i'm going to tell you something, not to be a baby, but it hurt a lot more than i thought it was going to. [ laughter ] my whole head is tingling. i feel like there might be blood if i really -- >> let me check. >> jimmy: no blood? >> fix your hair. >> jimmy: okay, good, thank you, i appreciate that. >> no blood, you're good. but it is down the back of my pants. >> jimmy: are the stunt guys you were fighting -- >> they're here, can we bring them out and say hi? >> jimmy: let's bring them out and say hi. [ cheers and applause ] they don't get any -- there they are. [ cheers and applause ] >> there they are. [ cheers and applause ] this is my real stunt team. [ laughter ] when you saw me get set on fire,

that was ben jenkin. anything i do anything cool, parkour, you get hit by a car, that's ben. justin did the martial arts. logan broke the world record for the most cannon rolls in a film ever. [ cheers and applause ] troy brown does the high fall at the end, and, you know, grizzly guillermo -- >> jimmy: looks good. looks real good. [ cheers and applause ] like, will you guys go out afterwards and throw each other through a saloon window or something like that, or how will this go? is this it for you guys, or will you continue to hang? >> let's go right now. >> don't tempt them. >> jimmy: yeah, no, i won't tempt you. you guys did a great job in the movie, by the way. >> thank you. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is that your regular hair, or does ryan make you wear it like that to match him? >> it's mandated. i have to. >> jimmy: it's mandated, yeah, okay. well done. the movie is called "the fall guy." there they are, real-life fall guys, except for one. one of these things does not

belong. [ cheers and applause ] "the fall guy" opens in theaters this friday. ryan gosling, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, ryan. and the stunt team. we'll be back with jeff ross! to help protect from hiv, i prep without pills. with apretude, a prescription medicine used to reduce the risk of hiv without daily prep pills. with one shot every other month, just 6 times a year. in studies, apretude was proven superior to a daily prep pill in reducing the risk of hiv. you must be hiv negative, to receive apretude and get tested before each injection. if you think you were exposed to hiv or have flu-like symptoms, tell your doctor right away. apretude does not prevent other sexually transmitted infections. practice safer sex to reduce your risk. don't take apretude if you're allergic to it or taking certain medicines, as they may interact. tell your doctor if you've had liver or kidney problems or mental health concerns. if you have a rash or other allergic reactions, stop apretude and get medical help right away.

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>> jimmy: our next guest has baptized children and can drink out of his head too. please say hello to stanley. >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. our next guest is another outlandishly handsome devil. he is the roastmaster general whose next victim is seven-time super bowl champion tom brady. watch "the greatest roast of all time: tom brady" sunday night on netflix live. please welcome jeff ross! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: all right. you did a little stunt when you came out too, that's nice. >> ryan got me all, like, amped up.

i think i'm in love. >> jimmy: i know. well, you know what, it's going to be a very, very erotic weekend for you, because not only do you have ryan tonight, you've got tom brady on sunday. >> and he is dreamy. >> jimmy: oh, yes, he is. he is. >> he looks like a.i. created a queer eye or something. [ laughter ] tom brady is so beautiful, he looks like a "westworld" robot escaped or something. >> jimmy: you're trying to -- >> i'm in full roast mode, jimmy, i'm so ready to go. >> jimmy: i'm excited for you. >> thank you, man. >> jimmy: how long has it been since a big celebrity? >> five years since we really did a roast. >> jimmy: what was the last big one? >> i guess it was alec baldwin. >> jimmy: oh. what happened to him? [ laughter ] wait a minute. i'm thinking about it now. let's go back through your roasts, okay? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: alec baldwin, all right. well, you know that -- there was -- >> by the way, alec baldwin, rob lowe, donald trump, justin bieber, david hasselhoff --

>> jimmy: uh-huh, hugh hefner. >> pam anderson, the one you hosted. hugh hefner, who you hosted. >> jimmy: yeah >> and this is the part i love, the process. trying out the jokes. talking to my buddies about it. >> jimmy: i love talking about it. i love knowing what you're up to, and you go on last, right? >> not in this case. >> jimmy: not in this case. >> we have some special surprises. >> jimmy: who are your fellow roasters? can you say? >> i have a few giant surprises. but i will tell you that -- most of the patriots that he played with are going to be there. a lot of the bucs are going to be there. drew bledsoe's going to be there, who famously got injured so that tom could play. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. not willingly, i think, i think that was -- >> no, but it will be fun to see them reunite. gronk is going to be there. >> jimmy: okay. >> although he thinks he's going to the oscars. [ laughter ] he keeps asking me if he can introduce best supporting actor. >> jimmy: just tell him yes. is he going to be roasting tom, gronk? >> yes, he will be. >> jimmy: he will be. >> it will be great, right?

>> jimmy: can he read? [ laughter ] >> no, no. gronk, the patriots' playbook, he had to use the audio version. [ laughter ] gronk can't even spell n-f-l, and julian edelman will be there. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> and nikki glaser, one of my favorite comedians, is going to be there. >> jimmy: she's great. she's so funny. tony hinchcliffe, andrew schultz, and sam jay. kevin hart is hosting the show. >> jimmy: he's hosting? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: tom segura? >> tom and burt, it's going to be really fun. malala, hillary clinton, oprah. [ laughter ] ruthless. >> jimmy: wow, malala is going to be there. >> malala is going in hard this time. this is going to be the greatest roast of all time. >> jimmy: it's never been live before, right? i mean, this has not happened live -- >> the first live roast, it's like sports. >> jimmy: i love that, because i remember quite vividly the editing process after these roasts. >> yeah. >> jimmy: where people are like,

oh, that one was too much. you have to take that out. this, that, whatever. >> yeah. >> jimmy: there will be none of that? >> no. >> jimmy: it's going on? >> and tom brady is, like, go for it, nothing's off limits. >> jimmy: do you think he's -- like, sometimes people say, go for it, nothing's off limits, and then you start talking, they're like, oh, i made a very big mistake here. >> well, he did ask us one thing. he asked us not to mention his prosthetic leg. [ laughter ] so that we won't do. >> jimmy: that's off limits? >> the thing i love about tom brady is he's a student of the roast. >> jimmy: he is. >> he told me it was his dream to get roasted. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how did this come to be? did you ask him to do this? >> i did. he -- i caught him -- the last super bowl he won about three years ago, on super bowl sunday i saw him looking at my instagram stories. i was posting roasty jokes about the super bowl. i happened to see tom brady, verified account, he's playing

in the super bowl in three hours. i was, like, this is what this guy's doing right before the super bowl? [ laughter ] and i clocked it. and then he won, and i wrote to him, and i said, "man, i think you'd be a great person to roast. we could invite julian edelman, he could explain the jokes to gronk." [ laughter ] and it could be, like, a really fun night. and he was like, "lfg, let's go." and now here we are, on the big stage doing it live on netflix. >> jimmy: that's a true story? that's how this happened? >> it's crazy, but -- and then, of course, he agreed to do it. he signed the contract. then to get out of it, he unretired for a year or two. [ laughter ] and to his credit, he stuck with it, and he's brave, man. >> jimmy: wow. that's great. hey, you know what, i give him a lot of credit for doing this. i'm not certain that he knows what he's getting into. >> oh, he knows, and all the money goes to his tb12 foundation, which helps underprivileged athletes get the funds they need, which most of the money this year --

[ cheers and applause ] all the proceeds, all the money will go to the new york jets. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're not a big football fan, right, in general? >> i have become a big football fan researching this. i played high school and junior high school. >> jimmy: i was going to mention that. >> and, yeah, there i am. >> jimmy: there it is. jeff ross. how old are you in this? >> probably about 13 there. 12, 13. >> jimmy: why does it say you're 50? [ laughter ] >> i was a center. i was a punt center on the jonathan dayton regional high school bulldogs. like, this is even before that. this is like when i was a kid playing. >> jimmy: who is the team photographer? ansel adams? why does this look like this? [ laughter ] >> it's yellow, because that's actually the cover of my bar mitzvah invitation. [ laughter ] so now here i am again, decades later working on seating charts, inviting everybody to the roast. what are the centerpieces going to look like?

it's like i'm throwing tom this big roast mitzvah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think what i love, looking at this, and i realize, like, losing your hair was not a bad thing at all. [ laughter ] like didi conn from "grease" here. wow. so, you didn't play in high school? >> i played in high school up until my senior year when i discovered food and chicks. i was like, i don't think i really need to -- and driving. >> jimmy: right, girls don't like football players at all. [ laughter ] >> i wasn't -- you know, i was good, you know -- and then we had, like, an all-state center. and i was like, i don't think i'm going to start, maybe i'll do something else, sell weed or something. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: make fun of the center. >> make fun of the football players, but i am a fan. tom brady, i'm impressed by his story. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and the fact that he's got thick skin. the show will show he's not just a great athlete, he's a great sport for doing this. >> jimmy: i wouldn't be

surprised if he winds up winning another super bowl after this, i really wouldn't. i'm not kidding. i feel like he could if he wanted. >> he might go back, and here's another prediction. i think he at his own roast might have the set of the night, because i watched him rehearse last night. >> jimmy: oh, he rehearsed? >> not rehearsed but running some material. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> and he's ruthless. >> jimmy: really? >> he wants to win his own roast. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, interesting. that's very interesting. [ applause ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're also -- you're known for making fun of people and doing these roasts and stuff like that, but you have a one-man show called "take a banana for a ride" that is actually a beautiful show about your grandfather and your relationship with him. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's very different, a very different side of jeffrey ross. >> as soon as the roast is over, i'll go back out on tour doing this show about my family. it's really about resilience and some of the life experiences i've had with loss and bouncing back, and, yeah, it's sort of like, i can dish it out, but i i can take it too and how you

develop thick skin. >> jimmy: people can get tickets at roastmastergeneral.com. >> yes. >> jimmy: and then on sunday night, don't miss it, it's like a heavyweight event. live on netflix, "the greatest roast of all time: tom brady with jeffrey ross." it's going to be -- i can't wait. i really am excited to see it. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: we'll be right back.

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>> jimmy: well, thanks to ryan gosling. thanks to jeffrey ross. watch him sunday night on netflix roasting tom brady. apologies to matt damon. will matt damon be at the -- >> matt damon has a cameo. >> jimmy: oh, god, you ruined the whole thing. [ laughter ] >> actually, i just got word, we had to bump his cameo. >> jimmy: oh, good, good. "nightline" is next. thanks for watching, good night. [ applause ] this is "nightline." tonight, olivia munn in the battle of her life. her shocking cabs diagnosis. >> i had already had two mammograms, i had had ultrasounds. i had done genetic testing. >> what were the results of