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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 27, 2024 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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you can watch all our newscasts live and on demand through the abc seven bay area connected tv app. it's available for apple tv , google tv, amazon fire tv. don't forget roku. download the app now so you can start streaming. all right, thank you so much for watching. >> i'm ama daetz and i'm dan ashley for sandyha patel larry bill all of us. we appreciate your time right now on jimmy kimmel a regina king and william shatner. have a great night. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- regina king. william shatner and music from dasha. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. welcome. hi, everybody. it's too much. thank you, i'm jimmy. thank you for watching. thank you for clapping, i appreciate it. thank you for everything. i'm glad you're here. there is a lot going on, but no one cares because the ncaa tournament has started. [ laughter ] but there's a lot going on. are you watching the college basketball games? the round of 64 is under way. what i was most interested in is gonzaga played their first game against mcneese state. despite the fact that there is no evidence that either of those schools exist. [ laughter ] they played. they "played." gonzaga is the college basketball version of the easter bunny. [ laughter ] shows up once a year.
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makes a bunch of baskets. then disappears. [ laughter ] baseball season starts a week from today -- [ cheers and applause ] and we already here in los angeles have drama surrounding the dodgers' 700million dollar man, shohei ohtani. i don't know if you heard about this. the dodgers yesterday fired ohtani's translator for allegedly stealing ohtani's money to cover gambling debts. the guy's nape is ippei mizuhara. he's accused of transferring somewhere in the neighborhood of $4.5 million from ohtani's account. here they are together back in december. a lot of the concern is about whether he was betting on baseball with this gambling. how they wouldn't know this, i don't know. the clues were there all along. the guy even had the same haircut as pete rose! [ laughter ] shohei has not spoken to the media about this yet, because they fired his interpreter, how could he? [ laughter ] have you been following this, guillermo? >> guillermo: a little bit. >> jimmy: does it make you worry
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at all? >> guillermo: yeah, hopefully nothing happened. >> jimmy: this is basically the kate middleton mystery for men. [ laughter ] we finally got a royal update on kate middleton. according to a spokesperson for kensington palace, there's a very simple explanation for kate middleton's whereabouts. she's been working from home. [ laughter ] which -- i don't know, how does a princess work from home? "i'm just going to stay in and wave at people"? [ laughter ] maybe it's because i'm an american, but i don't understand all the craziness around this. why do we have to know where she is? it's not like she's the bus driver. [ laughter ] she had an operation. she had abdominal surgery. maybe she's not feeling well. maybe she has a colostomy bag and doesn't want everybody to see it. [ laughter ] i mean, really. people are demanding she get dressed up and march through london so we can have a look at her? leave this woman alone! [ cheers and applause ] you know what i would do if i was kate middleton? i would hire shohei ohtani's interpreter -- [ laughter ] and run all the inquiries
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through him. his maga-sty donald trump has some money problems. the "i can't pay my bill-ionaire" is said to be frustrated that he's having so much trouble coming up with a $464 million bond to cover the judgment against him in new york. bond companies thus far have been reluctant to loan him that much money. for the same reason you wouldn't loan a watermelon to a hippopotamus. [ laughter ] trump has until monday to get a bond, and if he doesn't, the attorney general may start seizing his assets, possibly as early as next week. they could seize his golf course at bedminster. [ cheers and applause ] they could take his buildings, which if they seize trump tower, where will donald get his authentic mexican taco bowls? [ laughter ] they could even seize his plane. i vote for that! [ cheers and applause ] i can think of nothing more delightful. can you imagine the sight of donald trump standing in line for a southwest flight? in boarding group "c"? [ laughter ]
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some experts think trump ultimately will get the bond, but these companies are leaving him hanging so they can squeeze him for the maximum amount. basically, they have him over a barrel, and now they're behind him like stormy daniels with a rolled-up magazine. [ laughter ] "have you been a bad boy, donald? do you want a bond? do you want bondage? say it! say it, say "i'm a bad boy." sorry, i got carried away. [ laughter ] it's like that. one giant concern is that a desperate trump might have to take money from a foreign country, which could potentially create a huge national security risk. if he becomes president. this has been discussed a lot, so fox news floated his lawyer, helena habba-blabba, a big softball to set the record straight on that. and boy did she ever. >> is there any effort on the part of your team to secure this money through another country? saudi arabia or russia, as joy behar seems to think?
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>> well, there's rules and regulations that are public. i can't speak about strategy. that requires certain things. we have to follow those rules. >> jimmy: that sounds like a "yes" to me. [ laughter ] i don't know. "what's this? a birthday check from north korea?" [ laughter ] last month, donald trump's super pac, this is money that's supposed to go to getting him elected, spent $230,000 a day on his legal fees. but there are new pockets to pilfer. trump yesterday launched a joint fundraising venture with the republican national committee. now overseen by his son's wife. linking up the rnc with him will give trump the rare opportunity to bankrupt an organization that doesn't have his name on it, for once. [ laughter ] trump is now looking for a running mate to join him. they say he is now considering 15 candidates, with the idea that these people will audition
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at his rallies and campaign events. [ laughter ] really. he's turning this into "the maga-pprentice." [ laughter ] the finalists for vp include -- elise stefanik, tim scott, tulsi gabbard, and dr. ben carson. even though, dr. ben carson died six years ago. [ laughter ] ben carson is literally a sleeper candidate. [ laughter ] can you imagine vice president carson sitting behind trump at the state of the union? this is a guy who falls asleep standing up. trump is also considering florida senator marco rubio as he is campaign partner, which would come as quite a surprise seeing as how most of their interactions thus far have been like this. >> i will address, you know, little rubio. little marco. little marco. you know marco. little marco. >> he's always calling me little marco. >> he's little. "l-i-d-d-l-e," liddle. >> donald's not going to make america great, he's going to make america orange. >> the guy with the worst spray tan in america is attacking me for putting on makeup. >> i never saw a human being sweat like this guy.
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>> he doesn't sweat because his pores are clogged from the spray tan that he uses. >> i will not say that he was trying to cover up his ears. >> then he asked for a full-length mirror, maybe to make sure his pants aren't wet, i don't know. >> little mouth on him. bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing. & >> we have a con artist as the front-runner in the republican party. >> listen to this light little nothing say trump's a con man. >> this guy bankrupted a casino. how do you bankrupt a casino? >> the problem with marco is he's a choke artist are. >> he hit my hands. nobody has ever hit my hands. look at those hands. you know what they say about -- >> i don't know anything about bankrupting four companies. i don't know anything about it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: quite a team. david versus goliar. but now, rubio says it would be an honor for anyone to be
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offered the vp slot. oh, poor little marco. he thinks he's different. he's thinking, "i'm the one who's gonna ride this bull." no, you'll wind up in the mud with all the other rodeo clowns. think about all the people who thought they could domesticate trump. chris christie, mitt romney, jeff sessions, kevin mccarthy, rudy giuliani, ted cruz, ron desantis, mike pence. all his wives. [ laughter ] you think this won't be you too? destroying people like you is the only thing donald trump is good at. if he asks you to run, run! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] get those little legs moving like a toddler at a chuck e. cheese. in alabama, they just passed a bill that will ban diversity, equity, and inclusion programs at all public schools and universities. it also requires universities to get rid of gender-neutral bathrooms. the sponsor of the bill is a republican named will barfoot, who has been very anti-reading ever since he realized he had the word "barf" in his name. [ laughter ]
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the bill was signed into law yesterday by governor kay ivey. she's terrific. her motto is, if at first you don't secede, try, try again. [ laughter ] here's something fun out of iowa. this is a good reminder that it doesn't matter what you do, as long as you love doing it. >> a burlington woman is facing charges after police say she set fire to a porch. 46-year-old michelle young was standing on the porch. young is charged with reckless use of fire and possession of drug paraphernalia. >> jimmy: maybe she should be vice president with trump. [ laughter ] speaking of crazy photos, have have you seen the weird jesus pictures, ai jesus making the rounds on facebook? it's like a big thing. this is a sampling. here's jesus in a helicopter. saving another jesus? i don't know. this is of a sand castle. a little girl at the beach. here we have jesus as a shrimp. for whatever reason, a lot of the images have jesus with airplanes. this is an army of jesus and creepy male flight attendants. this one is jesus working as a flight attendant for spirit.
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this is jesus saving a woman in some kind of river of diarrhea, i don't know what's going on there. and no lord and savior buffet would be complete without -- crab jesus. [ laughter ] the crustacean christ. obviously, there is no such thing as "crab jesus." i was in vacation bible school. i feel like i'd remember a crab jesus for sure, if there was one. and -- what is this? [ cheers and applause ] >> it is i! crab jesus! the king crab of king crabs! i am real! >> jimmy: i wasn't prepared for this. you're actually crab jesus? >> yes, my child. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: oh. anything -- is there anything else? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? is that it? >> i guess your writers didn't think this bit through. [ laughter ] my child. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> they felt the visual would be funny enough. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah, i -- i guess they were wrong on that, yeah. [ laughter and applause ] >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yes, they were very, very, very wrong. >> jimmy: yes. >> but forgive them, for they know not what they write. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, seems like they didn't write anything, though. >> they wrote this. >> jimmy: yeah, okay, all right. well, thank you. >> anyways, i must go. the tired is going out. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> before i do, i have a gift for your audience. >> jimmy: oh. [ cheers and applause ] >> a gift! fish! fish!
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>> jimmy: a gift of fish? >> you get a fish! and you get a fish! everybody gets a fish! a fish! >> jimmy: wait a minute. >> and a fish! >> jimmy: crab jesus! why are you -- wait. why are you handing out fish? >> you want me to throw them? >> jimmy: no, i don't want you to -- please don't throw them. no -- no, there's no need to throw them. i think that's -- we're good, we're solid with the fish. >> you know i can multiply them? like a thousand x! i can fill this whole place with fish. >> jimmy: no, please don't fill the place -- >> i'll do it. >> jimmy: we don't need more fish. >> how about loaves? >> jimmy: no, no loaves. sorry, jesus.
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>> fine. i guess i'll go back to heaven, then. >> jimmy: i think that's a good idea, for you to go back to heaven. there he goes. [ cheers and applause ] >> it's boring in heaven! >> jimmy: yeah. >> you want to see the claw thing again? >> jimmy: no, i think we saw it the first time. thank you, crab jesus, i appreciate that. >> okay. i forgive you. >> jimmy: for what? >> oh, you know what. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, all right. >> sinner! farewell! farewell! [ cheers and applause ] crab jesus! will return again! >> jimmy: we'll get you some new pants. who knew these people would be so terrified of fish? oh, yeah, yeah, that's not good at all, i know. but you know what? that's jesus for you, he's out of control. [ laughter ] he told us he would come back, we just didn't know he'd have fish. [ laughter ] oh, there's a fish down there?
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it's just -- do you eat fish? >> yeah, but not like -- it's got a face and things. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah that's how they come, they have a face and things. should we chop the head off? would you like it better then? all right, well you know what? oh, there you go. well, all hell has broken loose here at the show. we're going to clean the fish. and then we'll get back to the show. william shatner is here tonight, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we have music from dasha tonight. and we'll be back with regina king, so stick around!
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question -- what would you get with almost 750 bucks? easy. i'd buy a smartwatch, like that guy. makes sense. use that gps for your poor sense of direction. excuse me? my grandfather was a homing pigeon. my internal compass is genetic. must have skipped a generation. uh, i'm a walking gps. okay. which way is north? okay. that's up, not north. i should get the watch. switch to progressive and you could save hundreds. to spend on whatever you dream up. if your moderate to severe crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms are stopping you in your tracks... choose stelara® from the start... and move toward relief after the first dose... with injections every two months. stelara® may increase your risk of infections, some serious, and cancer. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, sores, new skin growths, have had cancer, or if you need a vaccine.
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>> jimmy: hi, there. tonight, his new documentary is called "william shatter: you can call me bill." the indomitable william shatner is here with us. he's turning 93 tonight at midnight. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: wow, that's great. >> jimmy: then later, from san luis obispo, it's called "what happens now?" music from dasha. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is one of the finest actors ever to act. she has an oscar, four emmys, and a critically acclaimed new movie called "shirley." it premieres on netflix tomorrow. please welcome regina king. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: it's very good to see you. >> i'd good to see you, jimmy. >> jimmy: how are you doing right now? >> right now i'm good. >> jimmy: good, i'm glad to hear that. i know you've been through a lot the last year. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: hey. it's good to see you, jimmy. >> jimmy: good to see you too. did you see william shatner backstage? [ laughter ] i don't know, it occurred to us that it was a "miss congeniality 2" reunion show tonight. >> i didn't see bill backstage. but i cannot wait to see him. >> jimmy: do you remember -- did you have scenes with him? >> we had a scene together. but we didn't really get a lot of interaction in front of the camera together. but any time you're with william shatner, whether you're in the van or you are standing in
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between takes, it is fun, lively. he has a joke, he has an anecdote, he has a something. he's great. >> jimmy: yeah, that's right. we found something interesting, really interesting. i wonder if this is something you remember you still have. it's a newspaper article from your local "thousand oaks star" in thousand oaks, california, wishing you a happy 17th birthday. "if birthday wishes could come true, this "227" star would be on a trip around the world right now. her first stop, europe. "i'd like to go over there and check out the fashion." did you ever do that? >> yes, i did eventually, yes. >> jimmy: i would assume. "i want to be an interior designer." did you do that? >> no. >> jimmy: "i'm into clothes." for your birthday last year, you got a brand-new blue toyota mr-2. that's a pretty good gift. >> yes. >> jimmy: did you know you were going to get it? >> it was a gift to myself. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was.
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i guess when you -- yeah, you have a job at that age a television, you get a gift like that. >> yeah, like a toyota. >> jimmy: did you surprise yourself with it? [ laughter ] >> i did not surprise myself with it. however, my mother, it was like really important for her for me to get a car that was a manual shift. >> jimmy: oh. >> so that friends wouldn't drive my car. [ laughter ] because a lot of, you know -- most people don't drive manual shifts. >> jimmy: right. >> that was her logic. >> jimmy: and it's good to learn to drive a stick shift. >> it is. it is. >> jimmy: were you good at driving the stick shift? >> i was, i was, i still am very good at driving a stick shift. it's funny. i did the same thing with ian. i wanted him to drive a stick shift because i didn't want anyone driving his car. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was thinking about driving today, just on the way into work, actually. i was in my car. i kind of like driving into work. it's like a little time that i have to myself. i was thinking, i have to tell my kids -- i know it won't register with them at all. that time when you get your
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first car, it's the greatest joy you could possibly experience. that independence. >> it is. >> jimmy: i could go anywhere i want now. >> but the funny thing for me, all that that my mother went through, she drove my car. and she got into an accident. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: your mom wrecked your -- that's a twist. >> my toyota mr-2. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> yeah. >> jimmy: she did? >> yes. >> jimmy: did you ground her? [ laughter ] how bad was the accident? >> not that bad. it was a fender-bender. but i like the grounding concept. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i wish i was that quick with it. >> jimmy: yeah, maybe next time. we got you a little present here. we -- actually, i was looking to try to find -- >> wow. >> jimmy: a 1988 mr-2, but we couldn't. [ cheers and applause ] this is the matchbox version of it. >> where did you find that?
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>> jimmy: i don't know, the matchbox car store, someplace like that. >> you have a great producing team. >> jimmy: yeah, i do. but i'm going to tell you something, that was my idea, yeah. [ laughter ] so you're working as this -- a kid, i mean, and you had money. were you able to spend your money when you were a teenage actor? >> i was able to get that mr-2. >> jimmy: uh-huh, just that? >> not much. gloria, it was -- yeah she was -- and she did well. she saved my money. >> jimmy: nice. >> yeah, when i had a pause in the career where i wasn't really booking jobs, i was very appreciative that she had saved that money. >> jimmy: did you go to real high school? >> i did. >> jimmy: you did? >> i'm a product of l.a. unified. >> jimmy: l.a. unified school district. [ cheers and applause ] were you on teams? did you do theater? did you do any of that stuff? >> i ran track in high school. coach nordell was my coach, shout-out to coach.
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>> jimmy: what events? >> 330 hurdles, 110 hurdles, and i was the alternate in the four-by-four. >> jimmy: do you remember who was the lead runner in the four-by-four? >> no. >> jimmy: you don't? see? [ laughter ] isn't that how it goes? when you're on "227," was marla gibbs, would she come to see you run track? was she part of your life at that time personally? >> she was a big part of my life, but she did not come to see me run track, marla. [ laughter ] however, marla also had a performing arts school called crossroads academy. and i did go there to do the stage play "227." we actually -- the play, before it was a show it was a play at crossroads theater, which was also marla's. >> jimmy: is that right, it was a play first? >> yes. >> jimmy: i did not know that. you were in that? >> i was in the play. i didn't play her daughter, i
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played a character called sweetie that was the bad, fast child from around the way. >> jimmy: but still not so fast that she could not be the alternate? [ laughter ] you were still the alternate? we've got to find out who that other runner was. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: regina king is here. her new movie is called "shirley." we'll be right back. for your most brilliant smile, crest has you covered. ♪ (laughing) nice smile, brad. nice! thanks? crest 3d white.
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i need you to be my national student coordinator. >> i'm -- i'm -- >> overseeing all the student organizations affiliated with
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the campaign and all the states, around the valley, putting together campus rallies -- >> i can't. >> i don't like the word "can't." >> yes, i know, but i -- >> robert. this is the first year 18-year-olds will be able to vote in a national election. to get them to vote, they need to know that using their vote can make a difference. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is regina king in "shirley" which is based on not the entire life but the presidential run of shirley chisholm, who is from brooklyn. she was the first black congresswoman. which is -- >> yeah, black congresswoman. i was going to say, black female congresswoman. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, right. she was also the first black female congresswoman. [ laughter ] and the first black female congresswoman who was a lady as well. [ laughter ] >> yes. so glad that you and i both caught that. >> jimmy: and i love how the look of the movie and the graphics, even the -- everything
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is so well done. then you are -- you really remind me of shirley chisholm. i guess that's how it's supposed to go. i think a lot of times when people are playing someone, they don't necessarily -- they want to have a different take. you could be shirley chisholm. >> oh, well -- the point is to embody that person. not to do an impression or impersonate. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and is in the film with you? >> and she is in the film. she plays my sister in the film. but it was really important for us to capture the woman behind the politician. >> jimmy: whose idea was it for your sister to play your sister? [ laughter ] >> wasn't mine. [ laughter ] it was john ridley's, who john ridley wrote and directed the film. and he just felt like, you know,
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he'd auditioned a couple of actors for the role, and he just felt like reina would be the best person to play my sister. so he asked her one day, without me knowing, would she play muriel, shirley's sister? and then she was like, okay. first she said no, then she said yes, then she said, "let me talk to regina." she called me, she told me, "john thinks i should play muriel." i'm like, "do you think you should play muriel?" she was like, "do you think i should?" [ laughter ] we kind of did this back and forth. i was like, "look, reina, you are my anchor." she's an amazing producer. she's the boots on the ground. i was like, "if you think you can do it, if you think you can dust off your acting chops and come back to it." because she was a child actor as well. and she did. and she killed it. >> jimmy: she did. [ cheers and applause ] thank god. because that could have been
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really uncomfortable. >> oh, man, can you imagine? >> jimmy: you must have been so relieved when you're like, okay, she's good. >> yes. >> jimmy: she's good at this. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. now you have a competitor out there. [ laughter ] >> you know, she's coming for me. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah, that could have been a very uncomfortable decision. especially because she's a producer on the film. >> right. do we cut her out? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you have to have that discussion with her. >> yeah. >> jimmy: "do we cut you out?" >> yeah, like "reina." >> jimmy: spelled how? >> r-e-i-n-a. >> jimmy: they just added a "g" for you? [ laughter ] >> not quite that simple. obviously i'm the oldest sister, and regina -- >> jimmy: so they subtracted a "g." [ laughter ] >> no, my father felt like my name's "queen" in latin. reina is "queen" in spanish. >> jimmy: did that cause confusion in childhood? >> never. never.
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of course it did. when we'd get in trouble my mom couldn't get it out. >> jimmy: going through the souvenir license plates at the thing. you could almost share one. [ laughter ] this kid, lucas hedges, he's terrific also. >> he's fantastic. he is fantastic. lucas was the only person that we -- lucas hedges and lance reddick, who's also in the film, were the two actors, that's who we wanted for those roles. when we reached out to them, they both said yes. >> jimmy: you shot in cincinnati? >> we did. >> jimmy: nobody shoots in cincinnati, do they? >> no. >> jimmy: no. >> we did, though. we did. when you have a two-dollar budget, you know, you go where you can get the incentives. and shooting cincinnati as new york, you get a better -- you get more -- you can make a
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dollar out of 15 cents. >> jimmy: right, yeah, sure. >> and so -- my family's from cincinnati. >> jimmy: oh. >> it us a was an extra plus to be able to there be with family. >> jimmy: did they see when reina got in the movie, maybe they should be in the movie also? [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: they did, huh? >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: did you accommodate that? >> we did, we did. you know, it's family, right? >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> one of our cousins, he has -- he collects older cars. and we -- the film takes place in 1972. so we needed older cars. and he was like, "i gotcha." [ laughter ] so truesdale came out, dressed up in his '72 gear, and had his car, you know, he was -- it was a proud moment for him. >> jimmy: i bet. >> it was a proud moment for us. >> jimmy: also probably somebody had been yelling at him for keeping all those cars for all those years, and he was finally like, "you see why i had those cars for all those years?" >> finally! >> jimmy: well, it's wonderful to see you. the movie is called "shirley." it's about shirley chisholm and her run for the presidency of the united states. did she win?
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[ laughter ] no, she did not win. spoiler alert, she did not win. it's in select theaters now and on netflix tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] regina king, everybody. we'll be right back with william shatner. [cheese grater cranking] geico makes car insurance easy... say when... ...as easy as loving parmesan. ...say when... [cheese grater cranking] ...say when... [cheese grater cranking] ...say when... when! ah... fresh ground pepper? oh! yes please. with 24/7 emergency roadside service, it's easy to geico. oh! can we get a box? of course. what is cirkul? cirkul is
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>> lou: is there anything you want to promote, samuel? >> my clothing line, smile for a purpose. i like smoking pringles. i like smoking food. >> lou: what? >> like, i actually light it up and smoke it until i get airflow. no weed or anything in it. i actually smoke the food. >> lou: do you have any pringles on you we could smoke? [ laughter ] samuel, i'm worried about you, man. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: music from dasha is on the way. our first guest is a legend of space and screen who at 93 years old is the subject of a new documentary that boldly explores himself. >> you should be passionate about everything. you should be passionate about talking, about eating. ♪ i want a deep fried twinkie ♪ about loving. about exploring. i mean, name a verb, and you should be passionate about it. don't do it half-hearted, whatever it is you do.
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do it fully, do it passionately, do it with your whole being. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "william shatner: you can call me bill" is in theaters now. please welcome william shatner! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: look at you, you look great. how are you? >> okay. well, a little lesser for having seep the crab jesus. [ laughter ] i thought the fish part flopped. [ laughter ] and that you have blood on your hands. >> jimmy: it really looked like something you would have tangled with on ""star trek"," right? some kind of alien -- >> not at all. >> jimmy: not at all, huh? [ laughter ] you heard i said you're 93. happy birthday, you're 93. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: as of midnight. >> you know, i mean -- you get applause because you're 93.
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a little suspicious. >> jimmy: yeah, but you know what? not everybody makes it. >> no. but if they could see this movie "call me bill" and then applaud, that would be really nice. >> jimmy: bill, i want to tell you something. >> yeah, tell me something. >> jimmy: right near your head -- >> oh, jesus. >> jimmy: guillermo, put it down here. [ cheers and applause ] they put 93 candles on the cake. >> right. >> jimmy: we actually had to get permission from the fire marshal. [ laughter ] >> is it your expectation i'm going to blow them all out? [ laughter ] or shall we invite the audience to blow them out? [ cheers and applause ] none of that. >> jimmy: do you want to give it a shot? >> i'll give it a 93-year-old try. [ cheers ] a little sip from my lungs. and that's it, my dear. [ applause ] >> jimmy: split the difference.
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>> i notice it's a one-tiered cake. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, it's a little cheap, isn't it? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, we spared every expense, yes. are you having a party or anything tonight? >> well, you know, i am. it's playing as we speak. >> jimmy: the party's happening? >> no, the movie's happening. we're having a party after the movie. >> jimmy: you are, okay. can i ask you about this movie? >> please, ask me about that. >> jimmy: i have a couple of questions. first of all, what is it like to sit with an audience -- i know you were at south by southwest -- and watch a movie about your life? >> well, here's the thing. i don't watch it. >> jimmy: hold on a second. >> i'm going to hold on -- >> jimmy: it's a movie about your life and you didn't want to watch it? >> no. >> jimmy: because you know how it ends? why? [ laughter ] >> well, i don't know how it ends and neither do you. [ laughter ] unless you have something really special planned. >> jimmy: yes, we're going to kill you tonight. [ laughter ] this is it. we're bringing out another cake. sick up all the oxygen in the room. but your life has -- i mean, you
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know -- it's still incredible. you're an incredible person. there's nobody like you. >> i am. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you are. you are. [ cheers and applause ] can you share wisdom with us? i'm sure you get this question a lot. >> that's the problem. there's no wisdom. >> jimmy: oh. >> you're a dumb, young person and you don't do something about it, you're a dumb, old person. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: then you went into space. that was what, two, three years ago? >> a couple of years ago. >> jimmy: a couple of years ago, you went to space. how long were you in space? >> well, the karman line is the distinctive line that marks space. so, got to the karman line. maybe seven, eight minutes, i think. >> jimmy: even though you're only there for seven, eight minutes, you were able to at that time make love to an alien being? [ laughter ] >> i think you should take the opportunity to make love to an alien any time you can. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, well, that's how guillermo and i met. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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was it emotional for you, going into space? >> i'll tell you what was emotional. i've been a student, a participant in the global -- the global warming threat since i read rachel carson's book "silent spring." i've been out there espousing, we've got to do something. everybody, yeah, we'll do something. well, now it's dire. and what i saw from space -- so i know all about this stuff, and i felt it, but all of a sudden i'm looking at this very -- this planet that is so fragile. and the air. i looked back, i saw the wake of the ship. and it's only two miles of air and a handful of dirt on the ground. we were so vulnerable anyway. and not to do anything about global warming? just made me -- as things are disappearing, going extinct. we didn't even know they existed. >> jimmy: i love that you care about it this much.
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>> well, i'm going to die. [ laughter ] and so are you. >> jimmy: yeah, i know, i know. [ laughter ] you said in the documentary that -- well, your last appearance as captain kirk, you didn't love your acting or your take, your line in the movie? >> well, yes. somehow when you say it, it sounds awful. [ laughter ] can i rephrase what you said? >> jimmy: go ahead. >> all right. so as an earnest artist. >> jimmy: uh-huh? >> and the take is on me. i'm captain kirk dying. how does a person die? how do you die? how did you know when you're dying? who do you know how you're going to die? "oh, i'm dying!" or "i'm going on an adventure." how do you know? so i think you die the way you live. captain kirk always had these grotesque things happening. "oh, look at that, it's an animal, i think it's going to eat me." you know, but without fear.
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but with joy and love and opportunity to see what's better. so i saw death as the character. >> jimmy: this is the scene that -- let's take a look. ♪ >> it was -- fun. ♪ oh, my. >> see, i thought i had lived the "oh, my." i thought that he would see death, old man with a scythe on his shoulder, look at it and wonder. so that sounded fearful. and i didn't want to be fearful. >> jimmy: would you like a do-over?
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>> oh my god. >> jimmy: we're all set up if you'd like to give it a try. >> oh, come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and i've got some debris. [ laughter ] i'll put that around. here's one of those things. now, do you want ketchup? like blood? >> is guillermo -- is guillermo the death? >> jimmy: guillermo will be death, yeah, yeah. what do you want him to do, anything weird? >> no, just die. >> jimmy: do you want ketchup as blood or no? >> no, you've got blood on your hands from the fish. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, all right. so we have the music, right? and just look into that camera right there. right at it. that's your camera. ♪ ♪ >> and he dies.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. that was good. william shatner, everybody. "william shatner: you can call me bill," the documentary about his incredible life, is in theaters now. thank you, bill. we'll be back with dasha!
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>> jimmy: thanks to regina king and william shatner. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, her album is called "what happens now?" making her late night television debut with the song "austin," dasha! ♪ ♪ ♪ we had a plan move out of this town baby ♪ ♪ west to the sand it's all we talked about lately ♪ ♪ i'd pack the car bring your guitar and jane for smokin' ♪ ♪ first thing at dawn you'd queue the songs and we'd get goin' ♪
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♪ but you weren't home waited on the porch for ya ♪ ♪ sat there alone all throughout the morn' ♪ ♪ 'til i got a hunch down in my gut and snuck around the back ♪ ♪ empty cans and i'll be damned your -- was never packed ♪ ♪ did your boots stop workin' ♪ ♪ did your truck break down ♪ ♪ did you burn through money did your ex find out ♪ ♪ where there's a will then there's a way ♪ ♪ and i'm damn sure you lost it ♪ ♪ didn't even say goodbye just wish i knew what caused it ♪ ♪ was the whiskey flowin' were you in a fight ♪ ♪ did the nerves come get you what's your alibi ♪ ♪ i made my way back to la ♪ ♪ and that's where you'll be forgotten ♪ ♪ in forty years you'll still be here ♪ ♪ drunk washed up in austin ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ hell of a bluff you had me believin' ♪ ♪ how many months did you plan on leavin' ♪ ♪ what happened bad habits did you go back ♪ ♪ go back -- i loved you how tragic oh-oh ♪ ♪ did your boots stop workin' ♪ ♪ did your truck break down ♪ ♪ did you burn through money did your ex find out ♪ ♪ where there's a will then there's a way ♪ ♪ and i'm damn sure you lost it ♪ ♪ didn't even say goodbye ♪ ♪ just wish i knew what caused it ♪ ♪ was the whiskey flowin' were you in a fight ♪ ♪ did the nerves come get you what's your alibi ♪ ♪ i made my way back to la ♪ ♪ and that's where you'll be forgotten ♪ ♪ in forty years you'll still be here ♪ ♪ drunk washed up in austin ♪
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♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is "nightline." >> juju: tonight, squatters. >> i own this house. >> juju: the shocking situation where property owners find strangers living in their homes with no way to get them out. >> i

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