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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  May 15, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT

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>> ♪ ♪ >> sean: quick programming note thank you my new special laws to solos and lawmen number 1 for 8 straight days releasing episode 2 the follows the light wild bill hill cok in his rough justice that's all the time we have set your dvr let not your heart be troubled. >> ♪ ♪
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>> greg: yes, yes. all right we will have a show than i guess. happy wednesday let's get started earlier this morning biden agreed to a pair of debates with former president trump he listed to man's like no live audience third-party candidates and visiting angels on standby but no live crowd i guess he wanted in audience of his peers not only did trump agree to the debates but wanting a third 1 on fox.
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meanwhile president biden had an odd moment in a gala listen to this. standup kid i like that address let them see you again let them see your gallon hearers who he was talking to. [ laughter ] and that wasn't the weirdest thing watch this they will not do what they finally got done and then what we finally got done and make up for it. they want to give power back to big pharma. joe be careful what you say about big you neil knead them for the predebate adrenaline
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shot. eric adams suggests migrants can help the lifeguard shortage being excellent swimmers they'd also be great surgeons because they are good with knives border wall construction in texas saving money by using scaffolding previously employed by nancy below seasonal face. national nylon stocking day but many new yorkers already celebrating. gail kim is making her swimsuit debut in a one-piece bathing suit also randy weingarten and elephant man.
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rachel maddow mocked trump alloys for addressing uniformly like trump this from a person and the 148 westminster kennel club dog show was yesterday and this got best in show did you see it i haven't seen that much grooming since his pool party. our entertainment realizing the dreaded virus could come back dreaming covid bird flu know it's at that orange or discouraged donald trump i can
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help out for a sunday drive as the tantrum has commenced and like toe fungus it's getting ugly there coming apart like just use it weave on a rainy day while these hollywood celebs demand to replace a beer -- a dear with an emotionally supportive peacock they learned yet again in real life they right their own script and a right now there's a new director in town and it looks like he's getting the final cut. exhibit a robert to near playing the same angry uncle on hemorrhoids for the past decade went on the view saying trump will end the country as we know it. >> i don't understand where you people are not taking him
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seriously because you read about it historically in other countries that didn't take the people seriously with hitler and mussolini if he gets elected it will change the country for everybody and they might think will make their life better excuse my french they just want to. [ bleeps ] with the rest of the country. >> greg: that wasn't french by the way. but he knows so much about history and yet this poor old man doesn't know that trump gave up power when he lost. no wonder bobby went into acting reality isn't his forte but fantasy is. when i think of keen political insight i totally go to robert de niro ranting to 5 rigid dingbats those people or support him with anger and hate that's what he's about i don't
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understand how him and rosie o'donnell got along back in the day. i seem mean-spirited thinking as he just wants to. [ bleeps ] with us is country should be. [ bleeps ] america. >> greg: it's amazing he's still thinking of rosie o'donnell is that the cause of concern and aging has been desperate to stay relevant i'm talking de niro because i didn't say fat. >> imagine if he was on the election it would be over all the things he says because people are now on to him where he projects what he's saying. it's what he wants what he envisions to world to be which is chaos and craziness. total craziness. >> greg: will someone show rob
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a doll and point to the place trump hurt him. we will have civil strife under joe biden jews can't go to class and illegals are attacking cops and getting away with it it's amazing how the nut is focused on things that hasn't happened compared to things that have. here are things that you don't get upset about, rising crime violence against women jews and kids, illegal immigration, fentanyl, inflation perhaps because they happen in reality and that's not his turf so his mental shelf space takes up a hypothetical calamity and old sleights no wonder he hasn't made a decent movie in decades in his mind jodie foster is still a hot 13-year-old. so well robert de niro rants they are far more concerned with job safety and border security not trump's personality. americans are more interested in putting food on the table or in the views case how to put more food on the table the fact is
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robert de niro's scared like hollywood because they no longer control the narrative the average american doesn't buy what they're selling they've learned -- they learned they aren't special special i could told the kindergartners a graduation and it's making them impervious to their own behavior sounding crazy to everybody but themselves. >> donald trump was so aware of everything's faces doing leaves his face with his eyes closed and tortured elderly shapes when he drifts off into his closed eyes space is map shifting from its preferred scowl to the look of a collapsing old building the mouth loses all shape unrecognizable by the wrinkled curves they take under those closed eyes the old man they're sitting in the defendants chair had tilted back to the right
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eyes closed it looked like a trial at a nursing home. is found like that during lunch he would be immediately checked for signs of life nothing but your viewers larry. half of them died while you are talking just now. and this is from a guy who is 5 years younger than trump but that's insanity can't see it when you are in it that's why they look crazy but we don't why is that? perhaps because we have lives outside politics and lives outside of trump and they don't and their irrationality only persuade stopes prone to irrationality which explains why normal men flea of the party like a live so kissing booth. which brings us to sunny ostend the hottest member of the view
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since barbara walters died. [ laughter ] here is her analysis of trump in the courtroom. >> i was in the courtroom again yesterday he appeared orange in an unnatural way i'd never seen anybody that orange he is not a sleep enraged that's way i think he's so orange because it's red underneath i saw him during the cohen testimony going like this they said here they're sleeping and there he went. that is what's happening he does that when he is sleeping. joys playing dead so you won't eat them as abc sent her to the trial is all they got out of it is he is orange. how deep as we seen smarter heads and golf clubs only focusing on trump skin color apple doesn't fall far from the
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slaveholders 3. is that their grandfathers i guess as these facts are falling apart like bette midler's vibrator from years of overuse. look black and decker just doesn't make them like they used to. they are unhinged because trump shattered their narrative painting him as a village in their story, the story in which they are the heroes they thought the third act was over and credits were rolling they were vanquished as our hero rides off to the sunset not accounting for trump's popularity among average americans those working for a living it's a plot twist they didn't see coming that's why the understand how they hate you because a guy who gets you is elected president of their country then they weren't really
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that special to begin with worthy. you ignored them in 2016 forcing them to take a look in the mirror which is terrifying when their industry is based on looks. let's welcome tonight's guests. is comedy as clean as the white sheets at the rally, tom! as hot as her kids when she leaves them in a parked car fox news anchor julie banderas. she's like a pin yada whenever at birthday parties children want to hit her with the bats. new york times best-selling contributor kat timpf. and his fans are like a lovely spring day right in 72.
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comedian and former nwa world heavyweight champion tyrus! as a white supremacist with major anger management issues can you relate to the anger they are expressing you see him and he doesn't seem that bright and you know he is because we need they see the their movies it takes a certain amount of intelligence to be an actor but it doesn't mean you are smart in other areas. obviously he has lost the plot and i don't understand he went to hitler and mussolini but i want to hear the ways he's like hitler, he is not like hitler. hitler love toward trump 8 swore hitler blamed everything on the jews i don't think trump does. hitler had a cute little mustache trump doesn't have that >> greg: which was a charlie chaplin mustache who is an actor
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[ laughter ] >> and the idea he won't leave like he's not going to leave but he left before don't they know he was president he's been in florida the past 4 years and we approve the left because he packed those boxes right you don't pat boxes if you are planning to leave so he obviously made a plan. >> and it's funny because when you are in this insanity whether temporary or not you lose all self-awareness so he doesn't understand how irrational he's become. >> not at all but what i think what i most critical of is the fact that women on the view did nothing to counter this it's a one-sided argument no balance whatsoever it's irresponsible but not shocking abc let's ago on air they knew he would come on a war mission and they knew they weren't armed that's a
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whole thing it goes to show this is what you get when you watch mainstream media you don't get pushback and of course he's going to come on their and talk about how trump says these angry things so calling him mussolini and hitler is like a kind thing like, hey, buddy you remind me of the jew killer have a nice day what the hell is that is that supposed to not be hateful. >> spilling people might go maybe hitler was a bad guy because everybody gets compared to him. you know when people grab clips of us and they put it online and say we are wrong we might be wrong but we don't look or sound crazy because we are having fun ways it when you see these people and they are nuts. first of all bette midler i'm sorry but there is 0 chance she cannot afford to buy as many vibrators as she wants. >> greg: sheep spotting more. >> national treasure don't besmirch her name she's my
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daughter's favorite which on that halloween thing beneath my wings, to get together greg. >> greg: if she wanted to her vibrators could have vibrators. anyway now that i got that very important point out of the way i think maybe they only hang out with each other and people who agree with them and have this view because they don't understand there's a range of views not just people who think like they do in people who were at january 6 right there is a whole different range of people. therapy blue thought generates 6 was bad but don't think about it all day long they think about other stuff that affects the more in their daily lives some people don't even like trump other like things are expensive and now that's affecting me so when all of this super impassioned almost trying to
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outdo each other and it's getting harder because they've gone so far already it gets harder but they are trying to outdo each other with how hard they are going to go and i don't know if they exposed themselves to people who think differently on that spectrum they don't see how it looks other people he might think differently. >> greg: they are in their own bubble but tyrus it's weird because we are in a bubble but we stick our heads out of the bubble and the look. i always think we can tell when we're being silly or of noxious i don't think they can tell what's going on. >> because it's personal for them and it isn't for us we tell some jokes give our thoughts and opinions and we go home to people he don't care about our thoughts at all. normal people when i walk in my door and like who wants to hear about know i'm supposed to take the trash out which 1 get spanked, no 1 cares is like a segment 4 of nervous.
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it's emotional when you are emotionally you can't handle things that's why scarborough falls apart maybe's it's a good time for somebody to lien and tell you your bed it improv stop saying trump is like because there's no follow-through it's personal for them and they texted you today on the 5 was telling you the fixes on when you have 30 takes to say make my day you are not going to debate me is like the gallon. that's not debating like listen i feel like you need the black point of view when courts are. [ bleeps ] up and the prosecutor plans things ahead of time or they suddenly announce addict date they are willing to do it's because you're busy on the
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27th i feel they feel it's going the way they want because it's personal. you might be busy on these days. if you can stomach when you see this tonight there will be 47 cuts of them saying this. >> greg: we have to move on toil debate stage is set but will biden forget rel [ cheers and applause ] we're here with chris counahan of our local leaffilter. so chris, tell us how leaffilter is different from every other gutter protection on the market. with leaffilters, patented filter technology, there are no gaps, no openings, no place for debris to get in at all. and we install leaffilter on your existing gutters. it's a permanent solution. you'll never have to climb a ladder to clean out your gutters again. that's amazing, chris. tell me about the process. simple and easy. just give us a call, set up an appointment. we'll come out and give you a free gutter inspection.
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>> ♪ ♪ >> greg: can joe seal his fate by agreeing to debates. he said he would debate donald trump twice and promises to be alive for at least 1 of them so assuming he continues to cheat to death there will be a debate in june earliest head-to-head debate earlier and september before early voting starts. and older joe made the announcement on twitter.
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>> trump lost twice to me and to any 20 since then hasn't shown a debate now is ask ding like he wants to debate me again well make my date pal i'll even do it twice let's pick the dates donald i hear you are free on wednesdays. >> greg: move over dirty harry and meets a dirty diaper. that was biden throwing down the gauntlet when usually the only thing joe froze down as a towel to mock puppet is accidents the real story how many times they splice to joe's video together in order to get a single thought rachel levine makes less cuts while shaving her beard. play again. donald trump lost twice to me into a 20 since then he hasn't shown up for debate now he's acting like he wants to debate me again well make my day pal leave and do it twice. pick the dates donald here you are free on wednesdays 5 cuts to get a 132nd video i guess of the edited out all the times he
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lost constance, crapped himself and flatlined. trump agreed to the debate saying i'm ready to go anywhere anytime anyplace. i will provide my own transportation. donald the weather guy. providing his own transportation smart you don't want to rely on democrats to get you there you will end up in the lake. i know terrible right so what's joe to say? >> let's do this here we go here we go. why do i say that number twice. now he acts like he wants to debate me again point to yourself so they know you're talking about you. he wants to debate me again my
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powers activated go ahead make my day pal can i tell the corn pops story here. ♪ i'm singing in the rain ♪ i'll even do it twice let's get to the debates let's pick the dates let's pick the dates of the debates donald. [ cheers and applause ] >> greg: i don't believe conspiracies you believe this was actually happening as a being pushed to be withdrawn. i don't know what your question was you think this is real as
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that's a perfect impersonation that and joe biden as how they watch these clips you know they watch the show and the brilliant fact is biden's like let's go man with these 2 debates. they are being held by cnn and abc who just said robert de niro on their slamming trump and they are responsible for delivering the voters a proper bipartisan questionnaire to these candidates and get fair questions out there. >> greg: jake tapper and dana bash definitely objective holy crap. kat i'll save the conspiracy questions later what do you make of the edits. >> it's wild but i also think republicans might be playing
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this badly in terms of setting the bar really low. because i get it to some extent if you come out like biden's going to crapped his pants so hard he falls over and start muttering if he manages to not audibly crap himself and form 3 coherence and tenses and stand the whole time is going to come out of it looking like a victorious underdog especially because he mentioned it before and i will again many a times is they biggest strength is his weakness and start to look like you are not believing somebody if the other guy you're debating looks dead. is also like oh, he did better than we thought. psyches your grandfather or great-grandfather or your great-grandfather if he was a
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pervert. so tyrus i mentioned on the 5 you texted me and said you think the fixes in they know the verdict is guilty in new york so they are doing this knowing he won't be able to show up. >> republicans we can't play with the lead and democrats don't know how to do it quietly. just out of nowhere a specific date june 27 fits on tough guy. cut for a reason. the jury rate will probably rest friday we won't have to worry about on a weekend and the defense they not going to call a witness they nail him guilty we know it's coming right and then oh he's getting arraigned on the 27th or can't leave the state of new york something where that'll happen and joe goes on a podium and says where is he.
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for real just watch any of this villain movie they are playing this out hoping because their only prayer is said he's guilty that he's caught up with all this stuff another miraculous 7000 charges will rain down from somewhere he didn't tip the ice cream man in 1967 hole emotional thing there they will find something joe when he gave a specific date there was a reason for that watch what happens around that time. the fix is in. >> greg: what about the conditions no live audience. >> it's interesting however if you like trump seems confident it's funny the way he doesn't do anything in the normal way that's 1 thing everybody agrees on and you're supposed to play the expectations game everybody would save my opponent is a great debater but i will do my best against them but trump today said i would be surprised
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if he makes it to the podium. he's not going to play that game he doesn't care about expectations and i think he knows he can do well in this situation the limitations i think help trump because trump is at his best in a republican debate he excels with live audience and crushes people that at his weakest when he has the general election in front of a live audience and also joe biden is the interrupter he's the 1 who says give me a break man and white supremacy and all that stuff he's doing the interrupting if they have silence if they silence the microphones and have to give straight answers trump knows he does well again cnn people watch him against jake tapper you watch him or when he does 60 minutes he does well in hostile environments without the audience it would be a tamer trump which helps him in the general election. >> greg: there you go up next new york's chief full leaves
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>> a story in 5 words. >> greg: migrants needed to save swimmers roll it. >> how do we have a large body of people in our city and country that are excellent swimmers and at the same time we need lifeguards and the only obstacle is we need to give them the right to become a life just doesn't make sense that's mayor eric adam suggesting illegal aliens could work as illegal for -- lifeguards tests of the shortage i called it stupid instead they're stupid and sad what you see? >> he had came pretty close to having a good point because i think there's open jobs and migrants should be able to work people should be able to come here nonviolent you want to
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contribute to the economy great. i was confused is like who are excellent swimmers and the woman next to miss shaking her like yep they are. did i miss something. i get something that everybody knows. all these illegals are great swimmers as jesse said have you seen their gold medals in the knowing nod. i didn't know it was something i was missing or whatever like oh, yeah, all the best swimmers. they swam to get here i guess is that what he thinks what's funny is i was once a lifeguard at a pool i don't know how i feel about them trying to steal my job that i had. >> to be fair you were in charge of the shallow and. [ laughter ]
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it's really cool to be black because we can be as racist as we want to be and everybody will call us heroes we can be like he's attacking other groups now heard they are good swimmers like like we can just say that is like go man say it i would say that to because we can get away with it so they are getting away with it it's just never from back on the left aware the left brother is dissing on their newcomers their heads are about to explode so keep it going push the envelope see how far you can go eric because his frustration is to the point of name-calling and i agree he should be saying names because we see it's not assimilation get a credit card hotel rate for what. i love the fact he's saying this because the left has been saying it to me for the last 8 years of
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rito my show up on tv now they get it back phenomenal let's be racist together. >> greg: tom being a lifeguard is a lot of responsibility you have to enforce rules. don't run young man put some lotion on my back. >> what paul did you go to. >> it was a kiddie pool. >> they are get a blowing whistles we know that. well i don't know what he said was offensive but it definitely wasn't true of you been down to the border not all of them can swim they are droning a lot. >> you messed up he said all of them by. they are not sending their best swimmers i would say. it is a crazy because it's like it's a derogatory term about illegal immigrants coming from mexico that has to do with water
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so if republicans said this like would you care to say this word? >> it can you imagine if a white supremacist like tom this year and they said they are good swimmers no it would be unacceptable but because he is a black mayor he's allowed to say it 1 of the most racist things you could say but it's okay because he's black. >> exactly it's a great time for black people. >> greg: we must move on. coming up what the hell was antony blinken thinking. from any of our top brands so you'll get a free phone, and a smartwatch and a tablet. yup, all three on us. plus, check out tons more great deals. it's red hot deal days at verizon. hurry in. it's only unitl may 29th. my mental health was better. but uncontrollable movements called td, tardive dyskinesia,
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>> it's coming your way, hey, hey, it's a video of the day. [ cheers and applause ] it comes to us from ukraine where antony blinken had himself a little jam session after meeting with officials to risher does reassure them that uncle sam will help them fight are endless war he couldn't take requests from the audience since most of them are dead.
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>> ♪ ♪ he updated nero and his fiddle for the modern era. thank god neil young isn't alive to see this. tyrus he knew this video would come out right he knows if he does it's going to be filmed. does he not care or does he think it's a good look week. >> i'm confused because you have to work extra jobs to cover the taxes to get money over there to help them in this fight apparently it's karaoke night in ukraine what's going on are we in a over there or not. again this is the problem with the administration wherever they go they have fun and nobody else does.
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singing songs about the free world and it's like, sir, i haven't seen half my family in 6 months because him behind enemy lines you have a song for that bro you got time for that i want my money back. >> greg: ironically it's called keep on rocking in the free world as ukraine suspends elections indefinitely in the song is not a salute to america it's a critique of america and war i wonder if neil young will take this off the spotify war playlist the real thing that offended me the guitar was bad enough that he comes in on the chorus and sings it down an octave like a church dad. like a church dad. >> is there ever a time where being called a church dad is a good thing. >> greg: i will play the church dad.
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julie does this offend you, upset you or i don't know i find it weird there are a bunch of people dying. >> if he was doing it in the united states at a bar it would be okay but i think it was distasteful and the song he is singing is odd his singing was disturbing that's not even the point. singing about a free world rubbing in ukrainians faces because they haven't been free for so long and this is a representation of america it's embarrassing celebrating the money we sent them? you said the power of music and he'll anything often. well you've never said that actually. does this bother you? >> it's 1 of those things you see in it's like it's okay i wouldn't pay for but the problem is i am right. all this talk all the time of you can't make cuts in the government and not only do we have to pay for the war we have to fly people to go sitting at
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>> 5 more words. being cool ending at 39. is us go to the coolest guy here in tom. 49% of americans feel a cool by the time they are 39. 60% are confident they know what's cool. do you know what school and please don't say white power again. >> i do know it's cool and i love the story because i went and read the study and never mentioned anything about cool they asked people what they were familiar with and what they were into and interested in. at 39 they were no longer interested in music or celebrities or any of those things. journalists writing about the study used the word cool showing journalists journalist think knowing about cool things is cool but when your are
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39-year-old eyes knowing about things aren't cool. movies are cool as that's beautiful white supremacist. julie what tom was saying i think is the definition of cool is not caring what people think is cool so the people defining this are actually the un- coolest people on the planet. >> when i'm night -- 39 years old no longer cool what's that even mean. >> you will turn 393 more times. >> i will give a. [ bleeps ] when i get to that age what is there to care about at that point. you been married, maybe divorced once or twice there's nothing to care about anymore your life is almost over. >> eternal optimist julie banderas. kat they feel and go by the time they are 39. conceive got a few years. >> 4. you know how old i am?
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but, yeah, i imagine caring. like you aren't cool i'm cool. okay loser go find somebody who loves you. >> greg: it's true, it's true people trying to be cool usually as joe scarbrough remember he started a band and he was singing he was trying so hard he's oh is trying as we saw the very definition of unequal we the creepy old man lawrence o'donnell tim reading a bedtime story my god man stop if you ever have to ask if you are cool just rewind yourself back to the early days of your childhood in high school where you asked that same question what happened after that is probably away g inside of a locker room i
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preferred 1 was to hang them on the door. >> greg: i've been up there many times chicks on them i liked being out there look how fast my arms and legs are this is the funnest i've ever had hanging from here and i itch. >> it gutfeld is undefeated as well in fistfights because he fights naked. give me a swirly i love it. the bully is like i'm good any do everything my life. more purple their poles i've got a third nipple on my back we will be right back. with flonase, allergies don't have to be scary. spraying flonase daily gives you long lasting non-drowsy relief. flonase all good. also, try our allergy headache and nighttime pills. ( ♪ ) i thought water would help with these dry spots. that's lawn disease. but scotts healthy plus will cure it!
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we'd be glad to come out for a free no-hassle inspection. to schedule your free inspection, call 833-leaffilter today or visit leaffilter.com out of time, thank you to you all, i'm greg gutfeld, i love you america. >> trace: good evening, i'm trace gallagher. is 11:00 pm on the

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