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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  April 9, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT

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new show the view who tied of the solar eclipse the climate change. can't make this up. >> a solar eclipse ran down the hallway and also i learned that cicadas are coming all those together lead 1 to believe either climate change exists or something is wrong. >> sean: climate change. that's all the time we have left this evening thank you for being with us set your dvr so they never miss an episode of entity. a greg gutfeld is standing by to put a smile in your face have a good night. [ cheers and applause ] >> ♪ ♪ >> greg: happy tuesday!
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happy tuesday everybody all right all right. thank you so much let's get started. during a fundraiser saturday trump claimed biden soiled himself the oval office this is untrue he didn't soiled himself in the oval office soiled himself in every single room of the white house and even in front of the pope. the justice department said they won't send subpoenaed recordings of the interview with the special justice we have a clip though. joe... oh my oh, my god quick to get
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the paddles clear. >> president joe biden: boot and split soccer seed, yeah. that is great. i mean marijuana use can lower cognitive the client in response they introduced their new chief of staff. new poll finds a sharp decline of american trust biden here are things they trust more horoscopes ouija boards in the titanic's submersibles. a former chicago mayor lori lightheaded is investigating dalton mayor for corruption that's like hiring biden o.j.
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simpson to investigate a murder. morning show host joe scarborough is 61 years old 5 years older than her but only a year older than her face. a recent study shows americans have sacrificed meals to afford their rent or mortgage some sacrifice rent or mortgage to afford their meals. as the dead mounted the fbi undercounted. the latest crime report essay is unreliable at best and deceptive at worse. silicate about the dollar store
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but they claim crime in america went down this last year do you buy that? you shouldn't because it's a lie the only thing that went down was the democrat who bribed the fbi to publish this. the media happily parroted it but it was based on exaggerated guesses. in fact, they said the crime you see every day it's not happening. the broken eye socket diane suffered walking down 44th she probably just walked into a door. after all why would the government under a democrat light to you. they say they'll would like fox and friends to keep their jobs. meanwhile the coalition for law and order and safety an independent group of law enforcement folks blamed in increasing crime on the car's ration, all ideas pushed by that
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d democrats. the law isn't being enforced and too many thugs are being released and prosecutors are refused to deal with those left in the whole thing is run by politicians pretending everything is fine. it's like working at a slaughterhouse and the stats are the blood being wiped off their hands if you don't do the last 2 than the first thing doesn't exist it's like never getting on a scale and claiming you never put on a pound in years. they said they use something called the national incident-based reporting system to report crimes. acronym is and i brs so just to be safe i will say neighbors. as we all know the federal
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government loves to streamline every process and make it easier to understand i say that with my tongue planted so far in my cheek i look like on a let harris on her first job interview. cities tried using the system but like biden's private gin it wasn't working. so cops didn't submit crime data to the fbi and the feds gave up on and i'm not making. [ bleeps ] up except they call it estimation using inferred stats which brings me to this rule. if you think at the numbers think it's because they pulled them out of their ass. when you have a strong incentive to downplay crime that's what you do. victims since the hopelessness of the justice system and stopped reporting crime can you blame them that's where the federal government claimed violent robberies dropped 20% tween 2019 and 2022 as their own victims survey reveals it went
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up 30% so the government says believe us not the girl with the fat lip and the missing iphone. 's actual crime isn't dropping fewer crimes are reported. it's not a penalty if the referee didn't call it and guess you thank you are too stupid to know the difference? >> last year there was 1 of the lowest rates in all modern crime >> you thank you believe that also thinking barack obama is his butler. here's the problem with joe's claim it's not verifiable the official fbi numbers only go back to 1985 that's 39 years not 50. this is what it looks like from their own website there is a drop from last year although it's the highest murder number since 1996 it's easier to sell a lie when the media is already to tow the line.
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>> i would just debunk the things being pushed about crime as it's going down. >> the truth is it skyrocket over his presidency and over joe biden's presidency crime rates keep dropping crime in fact rate is lower now than when donald trump was an office. >> greg: scarborough had more to say there but they had to cut the clip short due to an armed intruder lease they admit crime spiked in 2020 thanks to the dimmer the democrats cheering on right sandra oh leading. the only thing falling is joe biden currently. but that's the game refuse to see what's really happening then brag about it and how blind you are. when you are a member of the primary and democratic party it's all about spin. >> the simple reality facts and reality are staring us in the
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face for the capital today in a way we couldn't do when we all got here. >> greg: that's because we have a security detail. it's like me saying as it is in that hard as i inject was mpeg into my ass and with how did this transportation secretary not know it's an all-time high as here in new york a gang banger cuffed 9 times this year on charges for grand larceny to deference against women is free after being released without bail. and sub he about being robbed the elites just sneer and say what are you complaining about your whiner haven't you seen this graph. is when you are democrat criminals aren't so different from them the only difference we can vote these douchebags out in
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november. let's welcome tonight's guests. he is done more audit characters then a guy at a furry convention. rob schnider! she is as bubbly as a jacuzzi full of alka-seltzer, charly arnolt. 's idea of a full house is when he is home alone watching full house with actor and writer jamie lisso. and doing this, get stuck in a tree the fire department leaves are there. contributor kat timpf. rob you look as sexy as ever. thank you but it happened before
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i got here. as it was repurposing a living being you should be proud of that. are you surprised the government is fudging the data is not like they never do this. >> i was in dc couldn't get it huber so i just carjacked somebody and gave them 5 stars. what happened is it's a statistical ally as a play mental eyes as well if you just give up and just go for employment congratulations you're counted as gainfully employed. it's like a cheat saying i am cheating on you i just identify as monogamous. >> greg: i will start using that and they would say over the job numbers are up but they are all part-time. full-time job numbers went down they don't tell you that as charly they did tell us the
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truth they would have to do something about it if this did they told us the crime is worse they might have to do their jobs. >> you mentioned they like to ignore reality which i think they do but also the left is good at gas lighting each and every 1 of us something they completely nailed down as the fbi is completely corrupt as crime is going down at the same time with 5 random women punched in the face in new york city easy to do the mast as a woman in new york city i can tell you hearing stories like this i don't feel safe a lot of times in the middle of the day walking down the street i don't feel safe using the subway because of attacks we hear so what mode of transportation do i use. hiring the carjacking seeing something to look into. >> running as fast as you can is a good 1. >> a lot of networking is good.
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in the good free mobility the best thing about it all is even cnn that pretends nothing is wrong in the world and everything is hunky-dory that a correspondent covering crime in san francisco what happened to her on assignment? 3 different crimes or crew had their car vandalized. so there's that. >> greg: we decide to have the man punching women on the show we have jamie here. you claimed they all had it coming. i disagree completely. somebody's doing street sites. doesn't matter how we got there. >> if you want on the card i know some people. >> greg: this is like your tour manager always tell you every place was sold out you show up and nobody's there. >> i was falling because i don't have 1 of those guys. i mean your mottoes great so much spin i would bet even biden
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where you soiled himself i want to be like this man is working so hard for you he doesn't even leave the room to take a pass he stays here. did you see the picture of the guy let out on bail 9 times i don't think we should judge people at all times but i think that guy did it. like did you see him he did it i don't know anything about them he has a teardrop tattoo which i don't want to make enemies of guys of a teardrop tattoo in a teardrop tattoo means you either went to jail or were humiliated in jail or you killed somebody. i like to propose -- should be 3 different tattoos. because you did that on her show right it's all those 3 things like i saw you did you do
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sometime in the you're like no like oh. a different kind of time i guess take a foot long and make it a meal. >> there are any other occupations this kind of deception would not be tolerated you couldn't even lie about your ratings because somebody's auditing it everywhere but this is the government's most important thing is crime and you can lie about it. >> is not a simple as democrats lay obviously they do let its incentives people have it incentive delight you will here's an incentive to make them look better people of power over you also have the ability to more easily lie that's white so concerning speaking of incentives to me it's a little bit of a tossup for me if the streets of new york were safer i would be able to take my dog out
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at night but if they were also safer i might have to take my dog out at night every night unlike do you really want me out there all these women are getting hit in the face you probably would feel bad if something happened to me. maybe just stay in its ago i don't you just go do it. >> greg: that's a great idea. weight that doesn't work for me. i state your place? >> i guess. you'd stop to take the dog out. >> never mind. >> greg: up next the view flaps their gums but who is thed most domes ♪ so i made barbara's new side gig count by guaranteeing her maximum refund. intuit turbotax.
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>> our review on the view who is the dumbest of them all!
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trace gallagher shannon bream. >> greg: their brains are small but who's the dumbest 1 of all. true none of them are in men's but who is the most dense. perhaps it sunny to master the art of making idiots look smart. now the mirror those of you could ask a mirror but there is no way that glass doesn't shatters let's check out this clip from the monday episode when they put their science caps on and discussed at the solar eclipse. >> avenue to say. our wonderful makeup artist when the echoes was happening she put her coat on and said jesus was coming we've got a solar eclipse we got an earthquake the rapture is here and also i learned the cicadas are coming.
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>> every 17 years this happened that's not what i read but maybe all those things together. would may be a lead 1 to believe either climate change exists these are at the mercy of climate change. the eclipse they know about the eclipse says happened and they can actually say when these things happen. >> greg: that's not what i read. the true side of the apocalypse of somebody that dom has a law degree. they have no excuse for not knowing how in a clip sorts but no surprise that joy is the 1 who understands science she's been on the science diet for years.
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they are turning on me so that means sunny the things climate change because the climate -- of the eclipse because every but he knows the moon caused the eclipse which is controlled by the views gravitational pull it's amazing how they became the smart ones. >> for me the most shocking thing about the conversation was how truly boring it was like the cicadas is like okay every hundred years notes every 17 years do you know how many emmy is show has 31 it has 31 emmys i would hate to see the conversations that don't make headlines. >> greg: and we don't have a single 1 what is that tell you about the emmys? give that man free something cup
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of water are these women bad for women they are bad for more than just women the whole discussion about climate change dries me nuts because it doesn't exist but the only reason i've come to love it is because of the characters they got themselves involved just a couple weeks ago on the show talking about a snowboarder testified before congress has the guy who is like grow i think there is climate change the annoyed it what he was talking about his great. then greta who have grown to be fond of because she makes a mockery of herself continually rested not once or twice this past weekend and now sunny for your hat in the ring sing these naturally recurring events like earthquakes i did my research the first 1 was in 1831 bc saying they stem from climate change or something they know
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she was dying when she said something she wanted to say racism dieting to say that. >> greg: it was either racism or trumpet then she was like what if trump wasn't born then. >> what awaits i cover your basis or something. >> greg: jamie you do that with punchlines. >> greg: what's your problem what a sensitive audience. >> hey, it's true. >> greg: jamie what are your thoughts on the view? >> greg: why are you being so quite about this get it out young men. >> am glad you asked i hate that show so much. what is the show prep they just go go is that the preshow like like i didn't realize all that happened on air i thought it was a behind-the-scenes disaster like a blooper that's crazy and
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we can disagree you say cicada i say cicada but if you like if the world ends first of all i live save the exact correct amount of money i went from near city to rochester to do a gig i forgot about the eclipse there's no other flights the train is sold out for people going to see the eclipse other flights to buffalo are sold out people want to see it so badly they went to syracuse that's how bad it was i was a bed the whole thing the world's not ending it's not a bigger deal was on the show yesterday and i -- last week i went to tyrus and he stood up and the lamp that was like, yeah, that's kind of it. cleveland finally had a good view of something. what about poor buffalo it was
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like a cloudy day buffalo slogan should be so close. have you ever been on the view is back when barbara walters was on. she was on it even after she died. i remember i was on the view i don't know what kind of man or i was playing at the time i took off her she was a joke miss aiko that's a mistake every 2 had its own you know god rest her soul i don't know who's dumber to be honest with you it's close you know what whoopi goldberg she thought the jews were into race
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or something this new 1 with sonny is pretty don't and a joy her own echo chamber the dumbest people are those who watch the show. >> the audience entirely collapsed. >> greg: they were like she's funny and slick no. strain a find some kind of redeeming thing to say about the view you can see right through me. lace they were a fact that was a pleasant surprise. >> we won't see that again. up next if your hearing is acute but where the sound of fruit.
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what is cirkul? cirkul is the fuel you need to take flight. cirkul is the energy that gets you to the next level. cirkul is what you hope for when life tosses lemons your way. cirkul, available at walmart and drinkcirkul.com. >> us story and 5 words. >> greg: 5 words sound of oranges causes pain jamie and upcoming musical in london giving a trigger warning for those who have mice a phony a which is a hatred a certain sound because the performers eat
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oranges on stage. while. do you issue trigger warnings for your show like when you eat it. >> i'm the only when he goes the other way on this i believe i have this thing so i can't stand when people are chewing i notice because i was walking with a friend knows like telling a story he took a bite of the peach i felt my body almost like a lightning bolt of violence or was why am i so uncomfortable and he takes another bite of this beach and i thought to myself i've never felt like this it was 1 of those inks i've never felt like a third wheel before i go did you get consent from that peach honest to god in need turns to me is like why am i looking like this is like your chewing is driving me insane i felt if you take 1 more bite i'm
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going to prison today and he goes you must have this disease and i go okay or is it possible that i'm fine and you have eat like a. [ bleeps ] animal disease. >> jamie wanted an apple dying for an apple i went to says that i think avenue and apple didn't have it in my refrigerator but i did take 1 and find 1 in my luggage. and they gave it to jamie and he complained about it. i asked her out for an apple any not normally people would route into a fruit box he reaches into the bag impulsive and apples from i think when he toured the before snl. yet it's swaddled in a pair of boxers. and he bit into it and the insight was a black hole of for. true story.
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>> i love my fruit fuzzy. where am i. i want to add a fact to this the show is inspired by ongoing global structures of lgbt people and seeks to challenge homophobia and transphobia. so this is supposed to be an edgy drama and performers are eating. why would any performer worry about the audience be uncomfortable. art is supposed to make you uncomfortable. i don't want my orange eating to whatever. i have given up on that sentence. here's what i would add to the description of this and there are dancers in this performance they must be? or, trans or nongender conforming. have a feeling the trigger warning for eating the oranges is the least thing people should be worried about when they watch
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of this performance and also what if there was a trigger warning for any time the lgbt crowd it did anything remotely uncomfortable. what a world we would live in. there would be constant trigger warning. and i do have to say i had every problem with this as well. it ended my freshman roommate experience with bananas. >> you have missed a phony a call barnes and the barns. it's real. my mom said it's auditorily offensive. >> of you been injured. were you injured at the workplace by this. kat what are you thinking right now is something bad happen how exactly do you thank you might be eating the oranges dare i ask they aren't eating the thirds and entirely appropriate manner are the using something beyond their mouth.
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that's what i was thinking. >> i was not thinking that. >> a look i don't understand how you do this i don't understand if i had trigger warnings from aisha these people if they're that worried they might have to see somebody eating something you probably aren't going outside. people eat just not as part of the show usually and i think it's fine to have feelings and things you are sensitive about i'm sensitive about a lot of things get my feelings are every day but they are my own responsibility and if you are that concerned then you can google it. and be like those that show of eating fruit and it and they would say, yeah, you go see 1 of the many other shows where they
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don't eat fruit. it's not clear people it's not brave any more it's your wearing us down it's too much and what is brave as anybody who can make it through the shell. you make it for the show you are brave and it's a redo at this point. there is no show no matinee wednesday because god is destroying the theatre. you know what i like about when you're talking about what you are wearing you are dressed like a gay man from 1975. i mean this is exactly what he would've worn on hollywood square absolutely. charles nelson you're doing charles nelson reilly. all right coming up, covid-19
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>> ♪ ♪ >> announcer: 5 more words. >> greg: lockdowns worse then covid the. a new study and scientific report confirms lockdowns destroyed our mental well-being. mental health was more sensitive to lockdowns then did the presence of the pandemic itself meaning that the cure was worse than the illness. what are we going to do with this information. >> i always feel bad saying this as i was floored celebrating my mother's 96th birthday so shouted to grandma and i feel bad because florida is where he spent pretty much the entire lockdown and i didn't feel like it was on a lockdown. i had a great time my mental
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health was better than it had ever been ice so i feel for the people who went through all this. it's a very low bar admit that but i friends in new york city who are miserable we can go outside and live our lives and that was of course do to the elites making egregious policies to help no 1 else but themselves we saw mental health decline we saw drug use alcohol use go up and i feel for those people still dealing with consequences. >> and know this is your wheelhouse you are 1 of the first people it's about time. >> greg: let me tell you what gave it away. it was really good. at least i would take this as an apology is this the apology we will get. but there is no apology attached nor is there any action. who do we sue? >> we are sorry we made you take 5 shots at an worker stopper
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present is prevent the disease also sorry we made you close your business were sorry about your grandmother we are sorry of a weird thing the good news of the cancer you developed new drug we are working on. >> greg: you have to wear this neck kerchief for now for the rest of your life because you became ed 7% more appealing it's amazing. kat okay. >> i'm a new show on broadway where ae to oranges. i would've every orifice. >> greg: we did shows during the lockdown kat how is your mental health? >> it was not good. it wasn't good and like many new yorkers i don't have outside. you don't have outside so that stuff and also you weren't
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allowed to say it was tough. not even if you are 1 of the people i was a lucky person because i still had a job i was able to go to everyone so weak i had somewhere to go once a week that made me a lot luckier than a lot of people. i was considered essential to do this once a week but even if your business was shutting down you weren't allowed to say, hey, i don't want my job to be illegal i want to keep making money you are then a murderer you had blood on your hands. and you were told that and called that by people on tv who did have their jobs. i said it over and over again and i will say it again. how could you be seen as 1 of the good compassionate people when you're saying the people he want to get paid they are bad people. >> i got fights on the 5 with a certain person about that who would say that.
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it was scary though because they kept lying to you on your phone saying this parachute and open he died of covid-19 as well. and you were a fake mask. and i gave it to you. >> you give him a lot of things. >> greg: i bet the doctor is best he found out the lockdown was more harmful than the covid-19 virus. he will have to create a more lethal virus just to make sure he didn't lie. >> is he surprised at all or is he been lying the whole time i don't know. remember when we did that show and had no audience we did that for months and i remember i kind of liked it because they did a joke and nobody laughed i was like oh well it's not bad and now they are back but they are just not into it. i was with my ex-wife when they were socially distancing people 6 feet apart and we had to get
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closer to get to 6 feet. [ laughter ] where is that handkerchief? >> i will put it back. >> greg: thank you. now you are in hamas. up next it became an glued and then they began to feud.
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>> 80 it's on 80 action, cody route for? >> greg: which talking head is the most brain-dead. 2 guys went at it on x it started with a roller requote recalling a time larry david avoided him at a party because he worked at fox. he said the larry wouldn't make eye contact with them boo-hoo. keith olbermann replied maybe everybody hates you just because you suck then the clause really came out. geraldo wrote back i didn't know
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you were still arrive and just when you thought it was over it wasn't. in sweeps chris cuomo to white knight him saying i've seen you guys give a pass in person because you knew they weren't the effort to slap sends in to this is that situation times a million. there you haven't girault though with olbermann and a surprise appearance by cuomo i bet he will discuss it in depth on his show airing on the gas station pumps across the tri-state area. >> just the fact that keith olbermann feels comfortable enough to attack women as some sort of prize he should get. in this day and age. he will go after any girl. >> going after riley gains is
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something i have to say takes a special kind of courage. and he has it. >> greg: charly idiot on 80 action hoodie route for? >> i love it i watch it all the time on bravo older men on x is equally as entertaining i just wish we got to hear all the insults in person. if we could have heard actually coming from their mouse it would it have been so good. you're to hear first first 80 on 80 action. that's good. open the vault we've got a show. jamie which 80 it? >> 80 on 80 it is the only porn i watch lately. i didn't even mean it to be like that. i hadn't heard from him and so
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long just done with twitter feel it allows people run important to talk leap leap about each other that they shouldn't. the important thing for me as his mustache you go to the barber and say maybe make me look like i tied a young lady to the railroad track. she be moving pretty quickly twirl and kat you just feel sorry for all of them? >> the real winner here is larry david because he doesn't even know this happened he's just 1 of the most successful creative as he's just counting his money if i had a story if i'd a story where larry david was mean to me i would never tell anybody. that's more embarrassing.
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>> greg: i don't think a happen. >> but if he didn't like you keep that to yourself. >> he used to complain him and his wife about people driving saying how dare you drive your big rv and my it would take a private plane from la to santa barbara. i said that to his face and him and his wife never talked about that again. >> greg: that's why we love you rob and that's way we love me.ndsh [ cheers and applause ] o don't gof away we will be that means less stress for you. right back. >> ♪ ♪anks have a good one. >> woman: you too. >> tech: schedule today at safelite.com. >> singers: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace. ♪ weeds... they have you surrounded. you're just gonna stand there? or are ya gonna take your lawn back. we're gonna take it back. we're gonna take it back. with scotts turf builder triple action! it gets three jobs done at once - kills weeds. prevents crabgrass. and keeps your lawn growing strong.
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>> out of time, thank you rob, charlie, our studio audience, "fox news @ night" with dreamy trace gallagher is next. i love you, america. >> trace: good evening, i'm trace gallagher. 11:00 pm on the east coast, eight clock in los angeles and this is america's late news, "fox news @ night". breaking tonight, evidence of americans under attack. we have new information about more illegal immigrants beating more police officers

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