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>> it's 5:00 in new york city, and this is "the five." ♪ ♪ >> it's a tale of two border trips. joe biden and donald trump make dueling visits to the besieged border in texas and seeing two different realities. on the left, president biden wrapping up remarks in brownsville is after shuffleing his way around the sanitized version of the border. the area he's in once saw 10,000 illegals a day, but thanks to the texas razor wire with he wants to remove, crossings are at an all-time low. here's the president. >> folks, it's real simple, it's time to act. it's long past time to act. they desperately need more resources, they need more agents, more officers, more judges, more equipment in order to secure our border. focuses, it's time for us to -- folk ifs, it's time for us to move on this. folks, the bipartisan border or security deal is a win for the american people.

that's a win for the people of texas, and it's fair for those who legitimately have a right to come here to begin with. it's a win for the people of brownsville, and i believe that's why the border patrol unit endorsed it. >> and on the right former president trump was touring eagle pass, texas, at the section of the border that's been bombarded by hordes of illegals. it was a big contrast to sleepy's visit. within the last five days, biden's brownsville had seen just 46 migrant encounters while trump's eagle pass has been rocked by over 2,000. the former president getting a tour from texas governor greg abbott and letting it rip. >> this is a joe biden invasion is. this is a biden invasion. now the united states is being overrun by the biden migrant crime. of it's a new form of vicious violation to our country. it's migrant crime. joe biden will never say laken riley's name, but with we will say it, and we will remember. we're not going to forget her. and i'll say this, it's a

military operation. i mean, we have a -- this is like a war. >> so donald trump said her name. i don't believe joe biden said laken riley's name. but the way he's making this into a military invasion really hits home with a lot of people and should be effective. >> well, i think he was right on point especially for this moment. because what america is seeing and hearing about are these horrific crimes. and greg abbott, the governor of texas, talked about it right after former president trump spoke, and he talked about a 2-year-old being shot in the face, a 14-year-old being stabbed at knifepoint, another individual -- all illegals in this country -- stabbing a man, they had so much blood on him not counting the blood of the man tata he was stabbing. look, we are at a very critical point in this country where it almost isn't about just the border anymore. and i still, jessie is, i don't understand -- jesse, i don't

understand why joe biden went to brownsville and he's claiming, oh, we've got to do something about the border. six people came across yesterday with, you know? if he could have said, you know, i solved the border issue. okay, so he comes down and he goes to a place in brownsville where six people came through. right now the american people are more concerned about who is coming through. there isn't a person from el salvador who came into this country -- there is a person who came into this country four times, and there was a red notice. that means the country of el salvador has issued a worldwide alert for this individual, they are that dangerous. and this person has come in and out of the united states four times. he was deported once and then came back four times. a red alert from el salvador for an ms-13 gang member. they kill to get into the gang. so what you got today -- you've got today are almost like the tale of two cities. one guy's standing there saying, you know, it's about politics, we've got to come together.

and the other guy's saying, guys, you want to talk about an existential threat? it's not climate change and it's not the nuclear war, it is immigration that is impacting every person in this country by countries that are literally emptying their jails and emptying their mental institutions. based not upon discrimination, but what we're seeing. >> jessica, why doesn't joe biden just do something with executive power to just shut everything down? >> well, he has teased that he's going to. i also don't think it's possible to do that. you hear a lot about these 90 executive orders that he undid and everything would just be perfect without that. a lot of that was due to what was tied up in the court system. it actually wasn't joe biden's decision anyway, and former dhs secretary jay is johnson was on with the "fox & friends" crew i this morning. i would recommend everyone watch it. it's a long 17-minute interview, and he's talking about, a, this is just what happens. when donald trump came into office, he undid a lot of what

president obama did. and president obama was the best at keeping migrants out of the country. he deported more undock qumeed people than george bush and donald trump. a lot to learn -- >> just a little bit more. >> like, what's your little bit. >> i'm talking hundreds of thousands per year. >> oh, that's nothing. >> it's pretty good. donald trump also deported hundreds of house per year as well. >> okay. what i was going to start with because i know exactly what question you were going to give me was the baseline that nothing that joe biden was going to do today was going to be good enough for you. now we'll go to what secretary johnson was talking about. he was focused on the fact that there are 1900 miles of u.s.-mexico border but only 300 miles mexico and central america. that's what we need to put pressure on, mexico needs to be doing more. i didn't know how much cooperation they had gotten from sanctuary cities to work with the feds. that's something that president biden should try to move back or bring back into a action, i should say. able to get people who are violent criminals out, people

who are committing -- >> what are you saying? what are you saying? are you saying that cities are cooperating with i.c.e.? >> they were in the obama administration if. that's what -- >> just talk about joe biden. [inaudible conversations] he went there today. what did he tell you? >> well, he told me that we need to pass the bipartisan border deal. and you know why? if we need things like more border patrol agents, with we need a higher threshold for asylum -- >> to let more people in? why do we need more people -- >> to stop people from coming in. >> you do remain in mexico and do the title 42 -- >> i guess i was right that nothing i could have said or joe biden could have said would have stopped you from doing this. >> let's keep it moving. i love you, but -- >> i'm not going to say it back to you. [laughter] i just want to add that john fetterman said today that he would be open to a grand bargain about h.r. 2 -- no, it's good. these are things that are good for you. why don't you let me get it out? >> jessica, the point about the

border bill is even if you sign this bipartisan border bill -- >> james lankford, noted commie many. >> you probably didn't even read it. someone still comes across and the borderer patrol, don't care how many guys you -- you guys hire, still catches and releases them -- >> cha's not true. -- that's not true. >> we've got to get it to katie. >> we should be talking about the fact that joe biden invited this problem. he literally stood up on the debate stage and said all these people should come here, and they followed his e lead. and all these democratic cities who said trump was racist and they weren't going to comply with i.c.e. detainers, that creates the problem now with these violent criminals. biden gave a speech, i didn't with hear him talking about deterring anyone, all i heard him say was we have to pass this legislation in order to get more border patrol agents to properties these people. he wants a bill that would pay for attorneys which is also just another magnet for people to come here. and he wants to give billions of

dollars to these leftist ngos that are part of this illegal immigration industrial complex which only allows more people to come into the country. don't hear him talking about criminals. donald trump goes to the border, talks about criminals. doesn't talk about illegal immigrants having dignity and needing to be part of these ngos and they need an asylum process and they should have court dates and taxpayer-funded lawyers. trump names a number of people who have been victims of violent crimes. joe biden doesn't do that. so when people are making this choice about who they want to be president, president trump is looking out for americans, and joe biden goes to the border and looks out for illegal immigrants. final thing, when you look at the photo of joe biden standing in front of these border patrol agents, they look like they're being held hostage. and now he has the nerve or to say that we don't want to politicize this and god bless the border patrol. those guys who he sneered for whipping -- smeared for whipping haitians allegedly? that never if happened. they still don't have their jobs

back on horseback, so they're not patrolling the border. >> greg gutfeld. >> well, you know, obviously this has been trump's signature is issue and joe is there because of trump. he's always playing catch-up. he's always plagiarizing. he's like a coworker who tries to take credit for someone else's work because he didn't do the job. i think the contrast is very stark here between the capable and the incapable. it's the key difference between these two guys. you can hate trump all you want, but you can't say he's incapable. and you can like joe all you want and realize he's incapable. he's a nice guy but he can't get the job done. you know, trump was on this turf years before he was running, and it was because it was patriotic and not political. took the rest of these lemmings to catch up. so the only political animal here is joe who, you know, required a heinous if murder to get him on a plane to el paso or else he wouldn't have been there. so trump's been right on the big

issues whether you like him or not, especially immigration. so this is why he has home field advantage. i think the dems and the media at large are just deeply offended that they even have to address this, right? to them, trump's inelegant and honest phrasing on the issue is more offensive than the crimes that are caused by illegal immigration. and you can -- and this is, you know, this isn't an paneling if ration, the amount of attention that is paid to trump's words, far larger than the attention paid to the rapes expect murders. it's like hamas, right? you know, they're more outraged by the israeli response than the initial october 7th massacre. what's interesting here, to me, is this provides kind of a loose model for a debate. joe doesn't want to debate trump on the issues. the media will protect him. so why doesn't trump just go places that forces joe to debate him. next time go to a supermarket

chain and show that the prices are 20% up and pressure joe to show up at a superis market. maybe he will. -- supermarket. or go to the street where all the stores are closed down and the homeless are living on the street. maybe joe will acknowledge that. shame him into actually addressing the issues since he's too scared to debate. >> shame him. shame, shame, shame. >> shame on you all. >> shame on you, jessica. >> i don't even need to hear that you love mentioner because i know you do finish. >> you can feel it emanating. [laughter] >> liberal ares' war on the apocalypse is here over the supreme court decision to hear trump's immunity case. ♪ ♪ and the colors of the sea -- ♪

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>> urban dance squad. one hit. grab all your loved ones and escape while you can. the media's once again warning that the trump apocalypse is upon us after the supreme court announced that the it will hear the former president's immunity case. >> the cravenness of the court is evident in what they are doing with the pacing here. >> it is frustrating to me that the idea that the u.s. supreme court's going to be delaying this trial. >> it's a bad look for them. it's a very -- to have taken it. >> yeah. >> it is an unmistakeable sign from the maga majority of the trump-created court that they are with him. >> there is a lot tonight to be pessimistic about. >> some of the justices simply want to assist donald trump in delaying the resolution of this case in the hope of pushing his trial off past the election. >> i am beyond terrified, nicole, right now for our

country. >> we can't put all of our hopes in the supreme court. the people need to be engaged in and aroused at this point to demand that there will be justice. >> engaged and aroused. all right. anyway, roll back -- [laughter] don't worry about them. the media found another way to get engaged and aroused last night after a radical judge kicked trump off the ballot in illinois. cook county judge tracy porter, whose previous ec per e tease was being a traffic judge like you, jesse is, ruling that the don can't appear on the state's ballot citing the 14th amendment's insurrectionist ban and relying on on the colorado supreme court's decision as precedent. katie, why is the media so obsessed about this? is it because it ruins the timing. >> yeah. they claim this is all about saving democracy, protecting voters, saving america, but they just exposed themselves because

if they actually cared about that, they wouldn't care when the trial might be. they just would agree that the supreme court should take up the immunity question to see if president trump qualifies. instead they're very upset that this may delay the trial which means they're just, again, admitting this is really about trying to convict him before the election because polling shows if he were convicted, people wouldn't vote for him. so they just exposed themselves again showing this is all about political games and that they're trying to take down biden's top political opponent if with the court system rather than just allowing people to vote for the sake of democracy. >> i hate it when democrats expose themselves. >> it's a little weird. >> that is the opposite of being engaged and arouses, jesse. so katie brings up a good point. this is actually trying to, you know, compromise an election. >> so last night was election night for them -- >> yeah. >> and they lost, greg. you can see the emotion, because they had put all of their eggs in this basket of lawfare, and

now they're realizing that the judges of the supreme court aren't on their schedule. and so they're realizing that joe biden might have to win this himself. that's what you saw last night. them realizing that this is going to be a free and fair election, to a certain extent, where it's going to be mano a mano, and you're not going to have judges and hours screwing around with everything. because they've been trying to persuade a handful of judges instead of 150 million voters. that's what they do. that's why they get so hysterical when you have supreme court nominations. that's why they go to the mattresses for someone like kavanaugh. remember, that's how their agenda happens. t all in the courts. it's very rarely legislatively. so when you have someone like trump come in and beat hillary, those were with hillary's three supreme court nominations. that would have changed the future of the country.

that would have fundamentally transformed america. finish they don't have that now. and now they're freaking out about it. you saw that judge, traffic court judge? earl warren also wrote parking tickets as a judge. marshall, john j., some of the greatest justices on the supreme court used to write speeding tickets for buggies. you think -- you actually are leaving -- believing what i'm saying. >> i do. >> don't believe it. [laughter] >> you just made all that up? >> i made it up, greg. >> this is why you're the number one name in news. [laughter] and i made that up. judge, comment on the traffic judge and also on this, the meltdown. what's behind all this? >> you know, it's really amazing that a woman who was in traffic court two years ago and deciding pew mispal cases, whether or not the police officer actually gave you the right traffic ticket is over here saying i'm going to decide on behalf of the people of illinois that donald trump cannot if be on the ballot.

i mean, these people -- i'm so sick of them saying he's a threat to democracy when everything they do is a threat to democracy in preventing the people from engaging in the democratic process which is voting for the person that they want to be the president. what are they so afraid of? they're afraid of the fact that he's going to win because he's got most of america behind him. they see the polls. they see what's going on. so you've got all these crazies at msnbc saying the supreme court is cravenly denying a review of the case. to, are you stupid? they're not being cowardly, they actually are expediting the case. the only thing they wanted was the process. it goes through the d.c. circuit and then the it goes to the united states supreme court. and how dare the supreme court wait two weeks. really? the supreme court is involved in life and death issues every day. and they should stop everything to decide your political issue? no. and that's the problem with all of this. this is about politics. this is about their getting out

there and saying we don't want him on the ballot. supreme court is going to do what it wants to do, and the process has to work. and the truth is the supreme court makes the decision in june, judge chut can or whateves probably three months before they can actually go to trial because of all the motions practice that needs to be done, and heir furious. they want him convicted and out. they hate him so much, i worry about what's to going to happen if he does appear on the ballot. >> jessica, i yield the rest of the time to you. >> i'm glad the flashing red lights haven't started already, maybe i have 30 seconds. i love days when you guys think that you're describing joe biden, but you're actually describing donald trump. so the person who didn't want the american people to speak in 2020 was donald trump, and he had his team of crackpot lawyers fan out across the country to bring frivolous lawsuits when

there had been recount after recount to make sure that the american public was disenfranchised and that we wouldn't know how georgia and arizona voted. then he called up people to put pressure if on them to find him 11,000 plus votes in georgia. we know he did it in michigan. ronna mcdaniel helped him out with that. that is the threat to democracy, and that's what this case is about. and when we talk about this impeachment inquiry which is obviously a catastrophic disaster for jim comer and company, you guys say, well, we need to know if joe biden is dirty, right? i don't want to go and november 5th show up and say, well, this is a guy who's making millions of dollars off china and us uzbekistan, whatever -- pulling diamonds if off of the -- oh, right, and the penis pictures that were going to decide america's future. don't we deserve to know if one of the nominees for president is a felon? that's what this case is about.

and jack smith made a motion to have this expedited so that the american people would get the chance to actually know who they're voting for. and yes, katie, of course, the fact that over 30% of republicans say we're not going to vote for a felon matters, but it matters electorally, and it also matters on a moral level. >> why don't you just let the supreme court decide on the presidential immunity -- [inaudible] >> exactly. >> -- so that -- >> well, they should have done it in time. the d.c. court of appeals wrote a nearly 60-page opinion that was incredibly detailed. they did take extra time for that which then no one begrudged them because of the content. and trump's lawyer actually argued that joe biden could order someone from seal team si- >> oh, we went through that, that was ridiculous are. we've got to go. >> we don't have to go. >> no, we do, actually -- >> well, fine, but -- >> take a look at that. what time it is. >> 01, 02, 03 -- the thing is that i'm not done.

>> jessica, come on. we've got to go. >> i consider this a victory of epic proportions -- [laughter] and you may continue. >> up next, kamala heaping praise on america's no-bail bozos. ♪ ♪ it's time. yes, the time has come for a fresh approach to dog food. everyday more dog people are deciding it's time to quit the kibble and feed their dogs fresh food from the farmer's dog. made by vets and delivered right to your door precisely portioned for your dog's needs. it's an idea whose time has come.

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♪ >> yeah. kamala's giving out a big endorsement. the vice president is now heaping praise if on progressive prosecutors in liberal cities who refuse to lock up repeat offend pers. >> having progressive prosecutors, for example, who can show what is possible and then show that it works and show that, frankly, it's not contrary at all to public safety. in fact, it is a better way, it is a very effective way among

other ways to achieve public safety. it is in the best interests of everyone that the community can trust law enforcement are. >> kamala's love affair with soft on crime prosecutors isn't a total shock. she encouraged donations to bail funds for people who burned cities to the ground in 2020. also, greg, that bail fund was for alleged murderers and convicted rapists as well. >> what world is she living in? i mean, you say the crime rate is down. is that because people are committing less crime? no. are there criminals being locked up? no. are there more police arresting more people? no. it's because you stopped calling something a crime or not reporting it as a crime. that 's why the stats drop. so don't puke on my shirt and call it risotto, lady. by all means though, i want you to go with this denial of observable reality. see how it works for you because people have had enough.

you offend every person who's a victim of a crime or lives in a community where there's crime or knows a victim of crime. that's all of us. all you've got to do is come out of your little world, look at the closed businesses, the empty subways in new york, the streets of our cities which are lined with homeless and syringes. we see it. but the strategy right now is whether it's crime or the border or inflation, deny the observable reality that everyone feels and just hope they forget. but we won't. >> well, kamala's boss, president joe biden, was at the white house yesterday denying those things. let's take a listen. >> last year the united states had one of the lowest rates of all violent crime, of all violent crimes in more than 50 years. murder, rape, aggravated assault is, robbery all dropped sharply along with burglary, property crime and theft. and it matters. you know, since day one my administration has been working

with law enforcement, mayors and community leaders to do what we know works to keep people in communities safe. >> so, judge, what about the stats here, as greg points out? if you downgrade everything that's supposed to be a felony to a misdemeanor or you don't report crimes or just let people out without prosecuting them, then it seems like the data isn't accurate. >> look, i heard him say that and i said to myself, this man is really on another planet. for him the come out and say that crime is at its lowest e, violent crime is at its lowest rate in 50 years? the man has no idea what is going on in this nation that he sits at the helm of. that is an outrage. that is not only an untruth, that is an insult to americans who have been impacted by crime, as greg just said. look, is there a drop in crime? if maybe because police have been defunded, so there are no police to arrest crimes. because progressive prosecutors are there, and they're dropping charges and not prosecuting crime. liberal cities don't bother

assign ising police to make these arrests. and there's a reduction in crime in new york city. it is violent. i don't even want to walk two blocks here, and yet what he's saying is, you know, they're saying we've got a 60 drop in crime. no, we don't. >> yeah. >> people aren't calling when they've been a victim of a crime, police aren't responding, 911 doesn't have time to get there. and alvin bragg is reducing 60% of felony crimes to're misdemeanors or no crimes at all. >> the crimes are still happening, there's still a lot of it -- >> of course they're still happening. >> yeah. >> and you know what? d.c., where he lives, has had the deadliest year in more than two decades. >> yeah. >> he lies. karine jean-pierre lies, and they're worried about trump? >> speaking of trump, jessica, yesterday when the white house put this fact sheet out, they said during the previous administration america saw the largest increase in murders ever recorded in 2020. what was happening in the summer of 2020 that was democratic party was ins doering. >> i'm not even sure that was

true but, yeah, 2020 was a disaster, and a lot of that was happening because people like joe and kamala bailed out rioters. so they committed more crimes. and if i was mayor, i'd know how to reduce crime. just wouldn't prosecute if it. i can drop shoplifting to zero if i never prosecuted it. it's a numbers scam. people actually listen to this guy, is and they believe him. now, kamala's crazy because kamala's talking about d.a.s that are treating black americans differently than everybody else. she is talking about soros prosecutors that go in and see someone and say, you know what? he's had a hard life. victim of white supremacy, we're going to give him a second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth chance, and he goes out and recommits crimes. you've heard people in soros-funded d.a. offices, people get arrested for rape, they get locked up and then they transition to a woman. and then assault more people in

prison, and then the d.a. thinks it's funny. there's nothing to be proud of with soros-funded d.a. as. they're all radicals, and they all have blood on their hands. jessica, if you say you love me, that will make up for it. [laughter] >> hard no on the love. so i guess the idea is that we're not supposed to talk about actual facts, that we should only appeal to emotion on this. and two things can be true. it can be with true that there are scary things going on on the subway. i take the subway to and from work every single day. that -- my if deodorant is locked up at the cvs, really annoying now -- annoying. >> that explains it. >> those are my pheromoneses. [laughter] the pregnancy. the brennan center looked into the specifics of where the increases were and the decreases and found that it was we qualitily spread across democratic and republican

cities. these national trends. that means that in rural america and in urban america we are seeing these drops. and they are notable that violent crime would be down in cities with over a million people by 15%, that's a big deal. >> more like 30-year highs. >> well, they weren't -- everyone also likes to pretend like they weren't alive in the 1990s. >> -- from a to 30-year high. >> okay, there also still remain republican-run cities where the mayors are republican, your favorite, and they have much higher or crime rates than -- >> new york, chicago, baltimore finish. >> yes! >> new york, tommy tuberville embarrassing himself talking about alabama versus new york. it is much safer to be walking around here than in alabama -- you're shaking your head. >> i would walk down the streets of bama -- >> can you go? i will pay for your ticket first class. >> really? first class? >> sure. >> let's go, jesse. >> you can send both of us there. >> you wear gopros, you show me

what's happening. >> i will -- [laughter] >> all right. up next, greasy gavin newsom earning his anymore fake -- nickname. the governor just got busted giving a kickback to one of his biggest donors. ♪ ♪ everyone, our mission is to provide complete, balanced nutrition for strength and energy. yay - woo hoo! ensure, with 27 vitamins and minerals, nutrients for immune health. and ensure complete with 30 grams of protein. (♪) when enamel is gone, you cannot get it back. but you can repair it with pronamel repair. it penetrates deep into the tooth to actively repair acid weakened enamel. i recommend pronamel repair. with new pronamel repair mouthwash you can enhance that repair beyond brushing. they work great together.

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corruption from america's greasy governor. the state passing a law that requires fast food restaurants to start paying workers $20 per hour on april 1st. but panera bread is free from it thanks to gavin newsom pushing an unusual carveout that equipments chains, quote, that bake bread and sell it as a stand-alone item. and wouldn't you know it, greg flynn is a longtime buddy and bigtime donor to newsom and just so happens to own a bunch of panera restaurants. the two going back as far as high school and have been involved in previous business dealing. of course, gavin forgot to mention any of this when pushing the law. >> this is a big deal. $20 an hour. [applause] if 80% of the work force, there's a lot of mythology about fast food. you know, johnny needs to learn the value of or hard work. you know, he'd work a few hours

in his first job. that's not the case, folks. that's a romanticized version of a world that doesn't exist. we have the opportunity to reward that contribution, reward that sacrifice. and stabilize an industry the in turmoil if. >> now, fox news has reached out to the panera owner and the governor. greg flynn says that he played no role in formulating the exemption, and somehow in's -- newsom's office stating, quote, this story is absurd. our legal team has reviewed it, and it appears panera are not exempt from the law. all right. [laughter] all right. so only restaurants that are making bread qualify for this exception. so is this cronyism, jessie? >> you remember the obama carecare scandal where they had the corn corn husker kickback? this is the panera bread bribe, and it's how business is done, sadly, judge in politics. sometimes these things happen.

but he's claiming it's not true. so now i don't know what to think. did we get the story wrong, or is gavin lying? i'm going to go with lying. [laughter] and i can't wait to impeach him when he's president for this scandal. but just the -- you have to be stupid to think that raising minimum wage for fast food to $20 an hour isn't going to just supercharge inflation and then make the burgers and the bread, or everything cost twice as much. then no one goes to eat there, and then those stores do badly and they leave like every other store is leaving in san francisco. >> you know, katie, newsom told reporters this in particular, that the exemption was part of political sausage making, and it reminds me of how in california he was cleaning house for xi jinping. >> yeah. >> you know, it's something everybody does. >> did you catch what trump said about his new nickname? he called him gavin newscum

today. so there's greasy gavin and gavin newscum. why does a panera want an exemption? is jessie just talked about why -- jesse just talked about why, because it actually hurts the working class which gavin newsom claims to be standing up for because these companies run by billionaires then just buy a bunch of machines that don't complain, you don't have to hear them protesting for higher becames, and they just put machines in the restaurants, and that's how people get their fast food. maybe people will still be mistaking bread, but they're not going to be serving customers in the way that they used to, and that's why a lot of states have gone the opposite way and not having these minimum wage mandates because it just peels off the business. >> if you're a minimum wage worker, why would you work at panera as opposed to mcdonald's? >> i guess you wouldn't. i think there was a quote in the packet from george flynn, the businessman in question with, saying that the they're really struggling. if so i think -- it's a tough time for fast food no matter

what, bread exemption or none -- >> because it's expensive. >> it is expensive. >> why is it expensive? >> because joe biden is a monster. [laughter] >> this time you're right about that. >> there's going to be an investigation into this. i'm sure that the governor's office welcomes that. you would want to know. but if this exemption does apply to multiple businesses, then -- businesses, then that's e what life is. that's fine. like, la brea bakery would get it too. it's a stand-alone item. all these places that sell breag deal. i was waiting to be wowed by the amount of money this man gave to his campaigning but it's over two elections and less than $200,000 which is not make or breaking gavin's touch future. >> all right. greg, is the new governor of california when gavin newsom if leaves, if it's barbara lee, are the people going to be lining up from some of these other restaurants to get an exception too? >> i don't know.

i mean, i'm still trying to figure out if pa panera is technically a bakery, right, what bakery serves double-decker sandwiches, chili, mac and cheese and flatbread pizza? that's like calling a strip clubbing a dance recital. there's so much more going on even if the moves are similar. but it shows you why some people get into politics or become pals with people in politics, because you become exempt from the rules you enforce on others. that's the only reason. but still i'm always -- i'm obsessed with panera. it's such a weird place. nobody ever says, hey, guys, i have a great idea with, let's go to panera. i want to get the green goddess cobb salad. it's the place you go to where you quietly, you know, meet a friend from high school to tell them you're not going to invest in their novelty tie company. or, you know, where you sell your used dodge dart. it's a place no one really wants to be there, but they have to be there. >> you are dressed like panera. >> am i? >> look at your color scheme.

>> oh, wow. >> i like the color scheme. >> maybe i'll go there after work. i like their big grade bread bowls. >> oh, they're great. >> mcdonald's just -- should just make bread. >> oh, come on, producers! >> up next, medieval times -- times in america? classroom sword fights and a naked lady fights with a spiked club. ♪ shoot me down but i won't fal- ♪ i am titanium ♪

i'm katie porter and i approve this message. he's the hundred-percent pro-trump candidate for u.s. senate: republican eric early. always supports trump and the maga agenda. republican eric early. endorsed by the california pro-life council... ...opposed to all abortion. and eric early loves the second amendment. eric early. way more dangerous than steve garvey. he dodges trump. garvey even said he might vote for biden. republican eric early for u.s. senate. too maga. too trump. too dangerous. democrats agree. too maga. too trump. conservative republican steve garvey is the wrong choice for the senate. ...our republican opponent here on this stage has voted for donald trump twice. mr. garvey, you voted for him twice... as your own man, what is your decision? garvey is wrong for california. but garvey's surging in the polls. fox news says garvey would be a boost to republican control of the senate.

stop garvey. adam schiff for senate. i'm adam schiff, and i approve this message. ♪ she was right there with it and she was ♪ >> america has gone medieval. a buck faked woman randomly attacking people at venice in each california until another a lady confronted her armed with a spiked club. thankfully, nobody was hurt. seemed impossible. judge, we all have this reactio- >> i want you to put her face up there. i want everyone to see her. >> i do tattoo. and her phone number. [laughter] >> in amazing shape. >> she is in great shape. she's in amazing shape. i'm so tired of watching plus-sized drunks beating the crap out of each other at arby's, this is the kind of fight i can get behind, and i want to say this, i'm tired of the blurring people.

>> by the way, this is my question -- speech and blurring, it's censorship. >> slap her face up there, okay? embarrassed -- by the way, she's got to be on drugs. >> why are you shaming her, judge? >> do you have something sexist to say? >> how is it sexist to say she's got a good body? >> i consider that a challenge. [laughter] >> 10 seconds. >> a naked, mace-wielding lady will be on jesse watters prime time, and it's also called morning star -- >> wait, is that true? [inaudible conversations] >> a shaft with a ball with the spikes. >> are you lying? >> i'm absolutely not going to tell you if i'm lying. [laughter] >> purple when you google that. there's something happening on california beaches. last time i saw a guy sucking his own toe. [inaudible conversations] >> this activity is far more dangerous, so glad it's women fighting and not men. >> i loved everyone's points, but we've got to go.

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♪ ♪ it is time for one more thing, judge? what's not only are stanley cups fireproof they are bulletproof to third and how woman claimed her stanley cup saved her life after stray bullet shot their home. let's violent in america. you see the bullet came flying through the wall, ricocheted off the stanley in front of her, with three perfume bottle before hitting the ground. cquickset is crazy glad she's okay. christie don't know if that's the story there. [laughter] get out of that apartment progress good pr for stanley but thank you for being a friend. check out this adorable toddler was a wild the internet with her golden girls inspired hair. on the both hairstylists in dallas. with the baby hair grows is

almost identical to the same haircut you're doing to betty white. that was their inspiration. [laughter] it is so cute. quick so cute. >> adorable. >> you go girl. tonight joe devito, michelle, kat and tyrus tonight. watch it. >> you guys should not think that's cute? works and think it's adorable. >> a prime time tonight in lou of women's history month we do not have the johnny sought. producers, what is this place. quickset the watch your show tonight that's okay. >> will have the naked ax wielding woman at 8:00 p.m. >> a liar progress i didn't say she would be appearing. >> don't be there under 21. >> have a great night everybody. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪