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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  November 14, 2023 7:00pm-8:00pm PST

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party candidate, whether, and this might be a crazy idea, trump might consider him as a vice-president in order to cancel out the third-party impact because, sean, when i look at the numbers, i think rfk jr. hurts trump more than he hurts biden. by the way >> sean: let me ask you. does he hurt him now because people think he might be conservative? his record is pretty liberal. i called it out on it last time he was on. >> yeah. well, i think a lot of people agree a hundred percent with his position on covid and i think that's where most of this is coming from. by the way credit to dana white he's 100% right own whatever political opinion and don't back down >> sean: i have to go. that's all the time we have this evening. set your dvr never miss an episode we will be in nashville tomorrow night and thursday night. let not your heart be troubled, greg gutfeld is next. ♪
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>> greg: yes, yes, yes, yes. happy tuesday, everybody. yeah. all right. let's do it. the secret service is stumped by this baggy of bump. there you go. remember when somebody left a bag of cocaine in the white house? and remember how the secret service evacuated the west wing and closed off the streets surrounding the white house? initially everybody thought joe had once again left a floater in the men's room. then remember how one of president biden press's children was staying in the taxpayer funded facility at the time because joe wanted to keep the impressionable youngster away from bad influences or at the least hide him from process servers and remember how karine jean-pierre got angry that the press kept asking about it even though she didn't want to talk about it.
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>> can you just say once and for all whether or not the cocaine belonged to the biden family? >> you know, there has been some irresponsible reporting about the family, and so i've got to call that out here. i was clear two days ago when talking about this over and over again. the biden family was not here. so to ask that question is actually incredibly irresponsible, and, and i'll just leave it there. >> greg: wow. the way she's reacting i'm starting to believe maybe she sold it to hunt hr. you know, press secretaries don't get paid much, it's true. during the bush administration dana perino was selling injokedable butt implants on the turnpike. her street name ways derriere dana. remember the secret service said they had no idea who left the blow in the most secure building in the world. that's harder to swallow than
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jeffrey dahmer's meat loaf. come on people that's tasteless? that's like asking who is the hottest late night talk show host. the answer's right in front of you. well, that big cocaine headache has returned. the white house released new pics of that pesky pouch of powder and as you can see the culprit didn't just drop the bag of happy dust all willy-nilly, it was stored in a locker for cell phones. it was locker number 50 to be precise, which is most likely unlocked with some sort of key. that's what the little keyhole is for. i learned that by watching law and order. and also when i hide in the planet fitness locker room. so i've got an idea. why not find out who has the key to locker number 50 right? i'm not nancy drew, although i can rock a plaid skirr but if you find the person with the key to that locker you're one step closer to finding the owner of the nose candy. but who could be that forgetful to leave a bag of coke behind.
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ca veto said the same today, we always forget our cocaine and not the cell phone not the reverse. joking it wasn't cavuto. what will this unnamed culprit forget next? a laptop. according to the secret service, they could only narrow down the suspect to 500 people despite all their surveillance cameras and other security. they couldn't figure out who it was so they closed the case in 11 days, the same amount of time it takes joe to find his way off stage. so here are the suspects so far. based on the symptoms we know about cocaine abuse or use, it leads to aggressive behavior like a certain bitey dog named commander. it can also lead to extreme weight loss. or perhaps deterioration in hygiene habits. and you can't count out those who are constantly laughing and dancing. and, you know, some might say
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she's a doctor which is the perfect cover for running a drug ring. how about dilated pupils and nonstop gibberish? and don't forget excessive lying. and, of course, there's all this sniffling and sniffing. but there's someone we know it can't be. absolutely, it's not him. no way, don't even think about it. no, seriously, knock it off. anyway, here's one reason why it might not have been hunter's coke. according to his secret service report with the daily mail testing showed the cocaine was cut with baking soda. you have to think hunter bucks up for the pure stuff am i right? we know he can afford it. true this coke was more stepped on than an american flag at a college protest. other than these new pictures why are we revisiting this story? by way of comparison the feds are still tracking down people who entered the capitol building on january 6, 2021, that was
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almost three years ago but the feds are still on the case. which means they're probably innocent. think about it. it's judge they don't changes rich democrats about their crimes because what do you do when you find out that they're guilty. you do nothing. you can't. your hands are tied. it's better to chase trump supporters instead and lock them up. so they nailed the guy who put up his feet on pelosi's desk but not the criminal master mind who left a bag of coke in the white house. it's amazing what the government can accomplish with the proper motivation, and what they can specifically avoid doing, especially when they're given the order to stand down. the secret service used to be the one federal agency everybody could trust. they have the toughest job in the world, putting their lives on the line to protect the president. they have to swear to take a bullet for someone. which is what i expect from kilmeade when we're now public tock. now they're bumbling around trying to solve the simplest crimes. either those agents really are
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incompetent or they're just pretending to succeed at their job in order to protect the biden family. which likelihood is worse? one thing for sure hunter isn't losing any sleep over this. i wonder why. >> period [cheers and applause]. >> greg: let's welcome tonight's guests. we're demanding a ceasefire against his taylor, host of fox across america, jimmy failla! [cheers and applause] >> greg: she's funny talented and good looking. wait, that's me. actress and comedian chandler juliet! [cheers and applause] >> greg: she's too small to tackle and impossible to shackle. new york times best selling author and fox news contributor kat timpf! [cheers and applause] >> greg: and he trims his beard with an outboard motor, new york times best selling author, comedian and former nwa world champion, tyrus! [cheers and applause] >> greg: you know, jimmy, since
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this is a story basically, you know, about smuggling cocaine into the white house, we figured you would be the expert on at least smuggling cocaine. you'll never get near the white house. what do you think is going on here? >> jimmy: the truth is it's hunter's. we know it's hunter's because in order for the coke to get not the white house it needs to bypass security and only the family is bypassing security. you dig. and if we learned anything about the laptop this guy has a lot of suspicious. good night everybody. the only thing i will tell you as a take away, i'm not a drug dealer. >> greg: you just play someone who's playing an undercover drug dealer on 21 jump street. >> jimmy: you know you can tell what you look like based on how you walk through times square and the drug dealers approach you. when i first started on fox brothers would approach me we have coke, we have speed. i walk through this morning he's
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like we have lipitor, you and your girl will sleep tonight with the breathe right strips daddy. i feel for the drug dealers. but at the same time the lack of interest in this story is why people hate the media for being hypocritical. they freaked out when trump brought diet coke to the white house. this guy's showing up with original recipe we don't get a gosh darn word. >> greg: chandler that's a an excellent point surprised it came from jimmy but remember when trump was president they were running articles constantly about what drug he was on. he's always tweeting at night he must be on adderall or maybe taking some kind of speed but here they don't seem to mind neither does the fbi. what do you think. >> chandler: you're right he said his sniffle was because he used to do cocaine you're absolutely right. they couldn't come up with any suspects because everybody in the white house does blow now it's the only way they can get lou the day and it's definitely
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not hunter's because it was cut with baking soda. maybe they sent it to him and he tested it out and said that's not the real thing. >> greg: just throw tonight the locker. baking soda, not that i would know, seems like an odd thing to cut cocaine with. usually it's baby laxative, again not why i would know >> kat: i get why it's so hard to find the person that did this though. people that do a lot of cocaine, they never talk. look, i don't think it's hunter's though because he smokes crack rocks right? not -- he liked to smoke the crack rocks and not sport it sfliet. >> greg: true. you're absolutely right >> kat: i also think the investigation wouldn't be that hard. they said they narrowed it down to 500 people. they do narrow it down with one question. >> greg: which is? >> kat: want a bump? i should be a detective. >> greg: you really should. i would watch the hell out of a
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law and order svu timpf >> kat: me too. >> tyrus: i'm in. >> greg: so tyrus, the story reminds me of a lot of stories in the media where they don't bother following up. like we talked about how the homeless were just swept off the streets of san francisco and where did they go? nobody knows. you find coke, who does it belong to? nobody knows. i guess we'll never find out. >> tyrus: everybody knows and you know what? i'm proud of everyone on this panel, you have never sold drugs because you don't know that baking soda is how you make crack. >> greg: oh, really? [gasp]. >> greg: my word. >> tyrus: listen people i'm going to educate you. listen, i don't condone making crack but if you must, baking soda is important. okay? so they boil it down, you have to boil it down and they use baking soda to rock it up. so it was not his cocaine, he didn't have cocaine he had pre
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crack in the locker room but i didn't have cocaine in the locker room. he would be the guy that buys that because he likes crack and smokes crack and if it was cocaine he would do the same with baking powder cut because that's what it's like and it's cheaper and those of us who have seen the way he pays child support it's his. we 1,000% know it's his stuff plus i watch forensic file and one of the things besides see men that get men in trouble all the time is fingerprints and plastic baggies are very good at catching fingerprints. shouldn't be hard, one dust and oh, we have a print. and it was a locker, again, surface very good at catching a print. they already knew. they want it to go away. and they try to confuse americans saying we have 500 suspects. my point, great, bring them in. i would love to see the lineup. we know who say it is, it's his and it won't come out because if it does get found out that it's
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his he goes to jail. so that's why the secret -- they're not taking a real bullet, they're taking a bullet for the president to protect his son. >> greg: it's infuriating. i think the contrast between this and january 6th is really important. because there are people -- there's no shortage of agents investigating these people. some people that weren't even there, you know? and instead this guy, it's just unbelievable. >> tyrus: we could have wrapped this investigation up. i would have cleaned it up with tyrus and timpf detectives, walk in the room, put the light on, i'm going to get a cup of coffee, kat would have sat down, want a bump. and i would have come in, care for baking soda and we would have had it. >> greg: kat would you have a catch phrase? >> kat: yeah, want a bump. i would not have a catch phrase screw i love tyrus that you know the crack recipe. >> tyrus: yeah, i sold drugs when i was younger. >> jimmy: i have a different steve doocy cookbook, i got to
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buy that one. >> greg: we must move on. up next data shows trump's cruising while joe's snoozing. >> if you'll be in the new york area and would like tickets to see gutfeld, go to foxnews.com/gutfeld and click on the link to join our studio audience. ♪ nexium 24hr prevents heartburn acid for twice as long as pepcid. get all-day and all-night heartburn acid prevention with just one pill a day. choose acid prevention. choose nexium.
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♪ >> greg: there you go. light applause. will trump wipe the floor in 2024. true donned has states flipping while old joe's still stripping. an in-depth survey -- i've got to stop vaping, finds donald trump will crush joe biden in the electoral college in 2024 and reclaim the white house once and for all.
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though, to be fair, i'm pretty sure my last uber driver could curb joe biden in the electoral college. this news hasn't sat well with the media. [krug] >> greg: it's true. treatment for trump derangement is already flying off the shelves. the number crunchers that stack data strategy say trump is on track to get 282 electoral votes while biden gets 246 and trump is expected to flip four key states that went against him in 2020, arizona georgia pennsylvania and wisconsin. by the way that thumping sound you're hearing is hillary clinton beating her head against the wall. so as trump new york's fraud trial goes on we are headed for the third greatest act since
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sixth sense when we found out he would grow up to be a weird looking adult. as the witch hunters keep throwing charges and indictments at trump are they actually doing the biggest favor he could ask for? they're keeping him busy which in turn makes his less visible and this has voters remembering what he did as president as opposed to what he said. as each month passes he just looks better and better and joe looks worse and worse. so what's joe got to say? >> oh, no, no, look, they only like the guy because they don't see him anymore. i mean, out of sight out of mind. but you're talking to an expert in that field, all right? i'm hiden joe biden. i'm heading back to the basement, baby. oh, yeah. last time i spent so much time in the basement i grew mold on my chest. here, you want to see? look at this. oh, geez. oh, god.
quote
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all right somebody call karine jean-pierre. [cheers and applause] >> greg: chandler we're less than a year away right? we're under a year. what do you make of this electoral college survey? >> chandler: i can't talk about the election without doing my duty to share the truth that they have been hiding from us and it is the election is flat. >> greg: really? >> chandler: i'm not afraid to say it i'm not crazy and i'm not suicidal. >> greg: really? i lost you. it's flat? >> chandler: listen, i can't say these things on air for obvious reasons so you guys have to do your own research okay? research flat election. >> greg: flat election. >> chandler: uh-huh. >> greg: what do you mean? >> jimmy: i date one of those in 7th grade. >> tyrus: i have one at night, flat election >> jimmy: there's a pill for this. we could fix this.
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>> greg: that was the joke? iwarix? >> greg: that was the joke? >> tyrus: it was to me. >> greg: i didn't get it. that went over my head. >> tyrus: well, you're short. >> jimmy: boom. >> greg: what do you make of this stuff tyrus? >> tyrus: i just did. >> kat: we're at work right now. >> tyrus: yes, i know. and to be fair i don't have a flat erection. >> greg: do you have to regain your composure, tyrus. >> chandler: he just snorted. >> tyrus: oh, man i ain't laughed this hard since i was a little school girl. give me a second. oh. what was the question? >> greg: the question is do you foresee a trump victory in 2024. >> tyrus: oh, that. >> greg: what if he's in jail? >> tyrus: he will be in jail. they're not going to stop. like this trial is -- what you know? i keep saying that we had bill clinton was the first black
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president, then we had barack obama. i am convinced now that trump is the third black president just by the way this trial's going. if you ever been in trial and a brother and a judge says i don't care what you have to say, welcome to black america. so this is literally what's going on. he will be elected. whoever the vp is going to have to pardon him to get him out but the good news is when they get him out he'll be able to walk out of prison, walk up to the podium and talk some really good [bleep]. whereas the other side, when he gets sworn in, it will be his last rights. >> greg: that's a good point. >> tyrus: a year from now, biden will literally be on his death bed when he gets elected. >> greg: kat i have a theory would you like to hear my theory? i mentioned it last week briefly. the biden presidency was like a super bowl half time. it's like the first half was trump and it was so exhausten and exciting you needed a pee break, make a sandwich, that was the biden presidency.
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now we're waiting for second half which is trump who's going to come back and have the rest of this amazing game >> kat: i'm really glad you brought it up because i haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. [laughter] >> kat: look, i just -- the only reason people do these studies and surveys this area is so people like us will talk about them because there's no way to know. just think about november of 2019. i was so sure, i was like, you know, like trump's go to win, so sure. and then the whole covid thing. who saw that coming? if we could have seen that into the future, like it's illegal to be at a restaurant. are there people working out at this gym? yes, you're under arrest. that was a real thing that happened. nobody could have predicted that. the only reason we believe it is because we lived through it because it actually was that crazy. so who knows what will happen between now and november. maybe none of us will even be people anymore. >> greg: what's scary you know
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that as trump is winning the media is going to get crazy. it is it's going to be super crazy jimmy. >> this is what i think. politics and the omnipotent president, that's a big word for me, of the president, we're analyzing these polls as if this is who trump is running against. biden is not running, there's no way behind closed doors they think he's running. when you see obama supporters speaking up saying what's going on with the polls. we can't have a president that makes the sign language interpreter shrug. joe biden actually said at the state of the union second to last line, now is the time to choose between unit and swhmeginina. when you watch much the signer he grows signing to googling. i've got nothing. you have a president you
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couldn't play scrabble with because you would be fighting the whole time. not a word i'm not giving you the points. i think it will be newsom. because they can't because of identity politics but they can't run kamala. so newsom needs a woman of color so elizabeth warren, that would be my guess. >> greg: that would be my hope. up next hear nerd wine about free palestinian. enjoying her n, when her windshield cracked. [gasp] >> customer: my car! >> tech vo: she didn't take it to the dealer. she scheduled with safelite. we have the latest technology for the newest vehicles. and we do more replacements and recalibrations than anyone else. >> customer: thank you so much. >> tech: don't wait-- schedule now. ♪ pop music ♪ >> singers: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace. ♪ (swords clashing) -had enough? -no... arthritis. here. aspercreme arthritis.
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>> coming to a television near you it's time for cringe theater. >> greg: yes. tonight on cringe theater, if you want knowledge, the last place to look is a college. as a woke more ron's dram particulars ruin their mathematics. an mit math class was recently interrupted by a student protester demanding the liberation of palestinian but before mouthing off he waits until the instructor finishes
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his equation. >> times d prime. >> yeah, i'm just going to finish this line, can i just finish this line? all right. c, and d, all right? >> greg: so then this brat stood there for another 35 seconds twitching and looking nervous before the professor finally let him launch into his nonsense. >> go ahead.
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>> greg: that's the worst protest ever. first off kid if you're going to protest the least you can do is memorize it instead of reading it off your phone. how did you get into mit does it stand for more ron's for terror. i would have thrown that cloud out immediately. hopefully the goof ball doesn't go for the suicide bomber because if they get 72 virgins he'll be the 73rd. but that teacher wasn't much better. seriously what a woos. which is why i go back to our central for our schools. hire more well rounded teachers. i try to shoehorn it in tyrus any chance i get. >> tyrus: it's never over. >> greg: never forget kayla lemieux. tyrus, if you were the teacher, and you were a teacher. >> tyrus: yeah, i was a teacher snore what would you --. >> tyrus: the teacher had an opportunity though and he kind
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of missed it. right when he finished. hold on one second and if you want to try it this one. one second. and keep doing one second while you finish the whole thing. hold on let me ask a few questions. hold on let me go to my car. i would have kept dragging it out because he had to pee so bad he was so nervous he was doing the i've got to pee dance, i would have kept going with that equation forever. plenty of room on the third chalkboard, and those visually impaired -- keep doing it until he peed himself and had to go outside. the newest thing they're yelling now with the palestinian sympathizeers, is they keep yelling genocide, they keep yelling genocide. and they don't -- because they onto go as far as the google title, to know that the population has tripled, tripled. that is horrible genociding. that is some of the worst genociding in the world when the population has tripled. and when they're surrounding
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arabic allies won't let them in for very good reason. so while they just don't -- even though he's in math, he cannot put two and two together because he's a moron and why he is in college at all. as a student i would pull some dumb [bleep] like this to get out of class to go do something fun. they forgot to do something fun. >> greg: yes. kat, i couldn't help, when i was watching this, was this looking at the chalkboard and going, i guess i never went to a real college. i didn't know what was going on that chalkboard >> kat: you're like, yeah, that's true. you idiot. yet you have no idea what's on the chalkboard. no, i've done pretty okay without math though. >> greg: no, you have >> kat: i must say. taking anything of the content away from the protest and just looking at it from the protest
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technique, it is kind of funny. because he was so nervous. he was probably like waiting there the whole time like, am i going to do it? you've got to do it you told everybody air going to do it you have to do it. imagine if all-pro tests were like that? what do we want? is now a good time? i can come back and tell you later. >> greg: jimmy, if i were the teacher, i would go to that kid's house and kill him with kindness. no, i would interrupt his time, you know, to do a pop quiz. maybe he's playing xbox. that's what the kids do tyrus. >> jimmy: i make fun of myself all the time for going to community college but i've never been prouder, for real, to have majored to intro to xbox than i have right now. i didn't take out a quarter million dollars in debt, i didn't write an admissions letter. i had to give a guy named spider a bag of weed to get into nassau community.
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>> greg: and you got a great career after that you were a cab driver >> jimmy: it was a hot one, people don't know that. but if this happened at community college, because the ex-con teaching the class would have gotten up tournd the instagram video and said shut the [bleep] up and the kid would have been horrified and ran away crying. can i give you deep psycho analysis fast? you might appreciate this. this is what's going on. this kid has invested maybe 30 years worth of debt into these degrees and they don't really hold any value or meaning in the world. and i think protests on college campuses has become a way to make you feel like what you're doing has a higher meaning. meaning no one in the world cares that you major in gender studies but if you think you're freeing people from a pretend oppression it sounds like a sound investment. that's why you meet stripers say they're stripping their way through college it has a higher college. but none of the stripers i knew
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were stripping their way through college and they were good looking. >> greg: this isn't like some crappy arizona state. sorry people. >> chandler: in my inner city days it was the professors spewing propaganda not the students. like professor now the students going into debt for $250,000 a year and spewing it for free. the college campus gives them a playground where they don't have any sense in the real world where they think they're doing something and they're not. >> greg: that's why the cause is irrelevant. two years ago it's blm. the same people doing the same thing. >> jimmy: straight up. >> greg: you are from 21 jump street. >> jimmy: you're under arrest. >> greg: straight up dog, dig it. don't do drugs. >> jimmy: just say no, greg. >> greg: coming up, he would have left on a gurney if it
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♪ ♪ >> it's coming your way, hey hey, it's video of the day ♪ >> greg: well done. today's video of the day comes to us from a senate hearing inside the haloed halls of congress. oklahoma's markwayne mullin and teamster's president sean o'brien had a history of bad blood insulting each other for months. and today it finally came to a head. as you can see, a bald head. thank god bernie was there. watch. >> let me read what the last one said. said, greedy ceo who pre tends like he's self-made. sir, i wish you were in the truck with me when i was building my plumbing company myself and my wife was running the office because i sure remember working pretty hard and long hours.
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pre tends like he's self-made. what a clown, fraud. always has been, always will be. quit the tough-guy act in these senate hearings. you know where to find me. anyplace, anytime, cowboy. sir, this is a time, this is a place, you want to run your mouth, we can be two consenting adults we can finish it here. >> okay that's fine, perfect. >> you want to do it now. >> i would love to do it now. >> stands your butt up then. >> you stand your butt up. >> is that your solution? >> sit down. you're a united states senator, act it. >> all right. >> can i respond. >> hold it. hold it. if we can't -- no. i have the mic. >> this is what he said -- >> you'll have your time. >> can i respond? >> no, you can't. [laughter] >> greg: kat, you've got to love old man sanders >> kat: yeah. >> greg: he could have been a
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great president >> kat: he won the fight. >> greg: he won the fight. were you happy to see two old men fighting over something besides you? >> kat: no, i kind of miss the attention. no, you know what's crazy to watch that, too? bernie sanders won the fight without -- he didn't stand up, he didn't even lift his head, okay? he didn't even break a sweat. and also, that man is older than joe biden is. >> greg: yes, exactly >> kat: he's older than joe biden. i always say this is not an age thing. it is that regardless of your age, you got to know where you are. i think for most jobs, right? >> tyrus: i think that's fair. that's not a lot to ask >> kat: on most jobs it's not even on the requirements because it's just implied. >> greg: chandler i hate to sound sexist but this is how men -- a fight could just break out at any -- because nobody knows how to deescalate. oh yeah? oh yeah. and you need to have some kind of other influence. >> chandler: markwayne thinks
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he's bruce web. it's better than the kardashians, that was juicy. but bernie did shut it down you're absolutely right kat he can shut it down. >> greg: i have a theory: . >> jimmy: i don't want to make this about me or my nationally syndicated talk show fox across america [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: but i did have senator mullin on my show today and i'll tell you right after the escalation occurred he called into my show because he's a regular on my show. first and foremost you need to know he's a formal mixed martial arts a professional fighter so he would have whipped his ass bad. bernie only broke it up so he can sell tickets to the fight so he can show how capitalism breeds violence. the thing about mullin, it's important i think when you think about it is, this guy has been bullying people in oklahoma. that's what this stems from.
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he called him out over the summer. and what mullin said is, bernie goes, you're not acting like a united states senator, but he said i'm a guy from oklahoma first, and if you bully people in oklahoma, they're coming at you, cowboy is what he said. but everybody's screaming in the chamber like this is so much division. this isn't real division. in the 1700s they settled disputes in the senate by shooting each other. and the winner lived and the loser voted democrat in the next election. you know what i mean? i'm pro mullin and not just because he calls into the best radio show in america. am i right? [cheers and applause] >> greg: oh, shut up. >> jimmy: take that gutfeld. they love him. >> greg: tyrus you know what i love about this? everybody wants to confront the person who tweets, like so the guy had tweeted -- the bald guy had tweeted the other guy and the guy finally got him in front of him. everybody kind of wants to do that. >> tyrus: yeah. listen again like the previous thing about drugs obviously no one else if here has been in a
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fight. so when he said get your butt up. >> greg: yeah. >> tyrus: and the bald's guy rebuttal was no you get your butt up, the fight is over, okay? because what happens is, if someone says to me get up, i'm going to get up because that means it's go time. if i didn't want to fight i would say no you get up. and if he got up and walked to me, now you're being childish. after that was over the bald guy gave bernie the biggest hug in the world, thank you so much. because he ran his mouth. and when the guy said you want to handle it right here, he had nowhere to go. his body language. he never took his hands off the thing. he never -- because i'm mad at bernie. wrong, if i would have been in that senate chamber, no, no, no, let's let them fight. we get something settled tonight, this ends here. i start a new thing. when the so-called senators and congressmen get up here and can't figure this out, cool, mortal combat, let's go. then we'll finally get some
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things done. >> greg: they should just, immediately a cage lowers. >> tyrus: yes, a trident, a baseball bat, no hitting in the face, everything else is fine. >> jimmy: and then aoc comes on with the card. a sexist would say that. >> jimmy: and if it gets too ugly bowman can pull the fire alarm. there you go. >> greg: all right we have to move on. this is amazing. would you be willing to eat oreos with less filling?
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♪ >> a story in five words >> greg: five words, oreos cheating on white filling. all right chandler, oreos' staunchest fans claim the cookie maker is skimping on cream filling slamming it on yet another example of shrink flailings. do you feel passionate. >> chandler: i do. is it really shrink flailings and bidenomics or consumers of the double stuffed oreos. personally i've never been a fan of the double stuffed the it's too much filling and if it wasn't for those double stuffed consuming freaks we would never be in this mess. >> greg: so they got used to the double stuff and now they look at the other stuff and --. >> chandler: we ran out of filling. >> greg: they're cookie size queens >> kat: i like the double stuff!
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. >> greg: you would >> kat: if i have regular ones i waste a package by taking them apart and putting them together. because if i'm eating a cookie i want to eat a cookie. like i don't do anything half way. i go all in all the time. which has caused me a lot of problems in my life in areas that are not cookies, but -- >> jimmy: bang >> kat: we don't have to go there. there's no way to know if this is real unless you time travel and if that's what you do with your ability to time travel then you're disgusting. >> greg: you know, tyrus, i think this is a statement about society. you know, cookies with two elements are always tastier than cookies with one element. like an oreo is better than a niwill, la waiver, a villa wafer is something i order at night from the escort service. >> chandler: what? >> tyrus: i'm blind. >> greg: you know what i mean? >> tyrus: i know what you mean. >> greg: diversity in cookies.
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>> tyrus: i knew what you meant when you said it the first time i've gotten used to your quirky way of talking. only been what, eight careers? how lazy and fat have we gotten to where we're sitting on the couch watching our life waste away and as we're on oreo cookie number 32 we go, hey, bro, they shorted me on this one. like that's where we're at america? if someone comes up to you and says, i've been noticing less filling in my oreo, slap them. >> jimmy: help them out. >> tyrus: and say get a job, grow up. like that's your problem. that's your issue. you stop me to say, hey, tyrus, i need to talk to you. have you seen oreos lately? >> greg: yeah. jimmy, i certainly hope you can blame this on joe biden. [laughter] >> jimmy: well, obviously is an economic issue because of the cost. but as a sports fan, it's nice
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to see someone experiencing shrinkage besides lea thomas. oh, i didn't realize this was the pro trans crowd tonight. i had no idea. i had no idea. >> greg: every night is pro trans here on the gutfeld show. >> jimmy: you're damn right it is. this is inclusive. >> greg: we cover that topic every night. >> jimmy: it just costs too much money that's the problem. everything -- they're doing this with chips. everything is shrinking except for the number of people crossing the border. there's your biden call back. >> tyrus: but now they're leaving. they're getting here going -- >> greg:. >> greg: maybe because the oreos are too thin. >> tyrus: that's what it is? who knew. >> chandler: they said the food quality is lower than where they ran from. this is kind of sad, you're right it is happening with chips and it is upsetting that like regular food, like a carton of eggs costs $10 now or a package of chicken costs $14 and this is the perfect time to be examining our relationship with big food
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and stop eating poison like oreos and being upset of the less filling. >> greg: poison is very expensive. >> chandler: they do put filler to make it as cheap as possible >> kat: but when you eat it you get dopamine and i'm always looking for some of that. >> chandler: that's true. >> jimmy: just to be clear he's in his 50s he's talking about the band poison. >> tyrus: we could have put baking soda to beef them up. >> greg: maybe hunter biden is the one who's taking all the white stuff. all right. the call to call back. don't go away, we'll be right back.
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(christmas music) ( ♪ ) weathertech gift cards have the power to wow everyone on your holiday list. offering a variety of american made products... weathertech! nice! like floorliners... cargo liner... seat protector... boot tray... cupfone... sink mat... pet feeding system... anti-fatigue comfortmat...and more. order the weathertech gift card instantly for the perfect gift at weathertech.com. >> greg: we're out of time. thanks to jimmy failla, chandler juliet, kat timpf, tyrus, fox news at night with dreamy trace gallagher is next. i'm greg gutfeld, i love you america. [cheers and applause] >> trace: good evening i'm trace gallagher. it's 11:00 p.m. on the east

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