i'm jeanine pirro advocating for truth, justice and the american way and i'll see you next saturday night. ♪♪ es it from here. have a great weekend. >> i have a 9-year-old daughter, i have three kids. i told my 9-year-old daughter that i would be speaking with you. i said what do you think about the climate change? she said she said the earth is on fire. >> she could have her own show on cnn. [laughter] [applause] [applause] all right, should you take classes from races?

joe biden now wants to spend money on legal race. for a country already distressed. ries. he divides the country more than time zones. i guess joe is just happy to have a job. technically he hasn't had a job since the dust-up with corn pop at the municipal pool. why he keeps saying kamala is president. he's not sure if he is. they installed the waze app on his phone so he could find the west wing. it's no winger the ignorant activist class can pull his strings. lying isn't the only thing he has in common with pinocchio. remember being told joe was a centrist? those still singing that tune look like milli vanilli. if you were any more left, he would be in england. the only thing middle of the road about joe is his hair, which resembled a crushed squirrel. it's only april and he squall

lowed more anti-american crap than michael moore's septic tank. according to the "new york post," the u.s. education department, whatever that is wants financial grants to incorporate teaching and learning practices that reflect contributions and experiences of all students. that does and sound bad until you see the curriculum is uniformly hard leftist brainwash from the 1619 project to the best selling white-hating book how to be an anti racist. a book so divisive looks like bull connor look like my little pony. in this plan, identities are an asset unless you're caucasian or asian. we went to an angry white guy for comment. >> nice job, packy.

>> critical race theory? i don't know. they keep coming up with theories. around the horn, boys. how about the one i grew up with? martin luther king where the content of your character is more important than your race? i'll stick with that theory. keep it simple, right? one and done. oh, center cut. [applause] >> greg: now, when you learn the language of identity politics, it sets off your b.s. detector. they're obsessed with identity unless it's to show you voted. you realize it's not an education that they're after by indoctrination while other countries focus on reading, writing, succeeding. we're tearing ourselves apart. division should be from math class. if you disagree, your no better nan a pedophile. according to the oregon teacher. >> so if you're being resisted, i understand that. you have to eventually come to

the light. if you're going to keep old views of colonialism, it's going to lead to being fire. you're going to be damage to our children, trauma. so as we fire the teachers that sexually abuse our children, we'll be firing the teachers that do racist things to our children and traumatize them. >> greg: holy [bleep]. talk about child abuse. that is from a teacher. how does she have a job? if this isn't a cult, i'm charles manson. it is a cult. one that guarantees your kids turning on each other and then you, we used to let puberty do that. it's the revelation from within. it's a war on achievement. the anti-american language he they use sounds like chinese prop again that. not just because both are coming from lebron james.

the curriculum is what our enemies would air drop. so don't be surprised if your kid is fluent in mandarin by the fourth grade. seriously, imagine if our president in the midst of the cold war had sided with the ussr? more gorbachev, repair this wall. now please join me for the daily flag burning. that is a terrible reagan impression. but that's the way it is now. white house that believes the country that owns it is evil. when joe says he's here to unify, he wants to believe that we're racist. this is the guy that went to a funeral to a kkk member. he put mother blacks behind bars than kamala harris. the irony is thicker than hunter's black book, this is his own personal reparations because it's systemic leftism from head to toe. the one old white fart the woke

can forgive. instead of opening schools, biden is destroying them. you won't know because they're getting rid of accelerated courses and trashing standards. the goal is not to educate. it's to convince minorities the white people that your schools are horrible. the teacher's unions are never accountable as they fought all competition and accountability. the only ones left unscathed are the far left. the radical ideology has a built-in survival method. racism has no meaning. which is why it's key that all of us of every crete and color stick together and fight this dangerous nonsense. alone, they will that i can you down quicker than a trump 2024 yard sign. if we don't, some old white dude that once palled around with segregationists will use you to pay for his phony redemption. >> let's welcome tonight's guests.

she puts the knife, the meteorologist that put andrew cuomo in a high pressure system, janice dean. don't give her no lip or she will sink your battleship. former state department spokeswoman, morgan ortega. and he's so tough, sharks, host of hollywood weapons, terry shapper. she's so libertarian, she screams am i being detained at red lights, kat timpf. all right, janice. you're a parent or so i'm told. i don't want to piss her off. i see what she can do. she's taking down a governor. >> i'm with you.

>> greg: i'm a talk show host. how do you feel about this woke curriculum? >> i'm nervous. i have a 12-year-old and a 10-year-old. i listened to alveda king the other day. she said what happened to the human race? we all bleed the same. when i was going to school, my best friend is a beautiful indian woman. she's been my best friend signed i was 10 years old. we never -- i never looked at her differently. i would go to her house, see her different traditions. i loved that about her. i never saw race. what is happening to our kids now in school? you know, i want them to organically love each other and not be looking at each other and looking at their skin color. i want us to be color blind again. >> greg: it's funny. they're literally creating this kind of mechanism in your brain where you cannot not see skin color. it's now everywhere. terry, is this what you and i

fought for side by side in the green berets? >> in the trenches? >> greg: when i saved your life -- >> you pulled me out of that fox hoyle. >> greg: i used his leather pants as a tourniquet. >> i'm going to get to that in a minute. this is my first time on your new show. so congratulations. i've been with you since the early red eye days. it's not an overstatement to say that you kind of owe a lot of your success to me. that's okay. you're welcome for that. what else? >> greg: my freedom. >> you're welcome. welcome for your freedom. we can move on. the critical race theory. the people putting that crap out, black, white, male or female, they have the high pedigrees from ivy league schools. these things are created and fermented in academic circles which is insulated from reality. they have real world effects if you apply them. that's why we see males crushing women in sports events because

if they identify as a female -- >> greg: we're number 1. >> we will always kick your ass, women. i don't feel bad about that but i identify as a man. the academic construct which is fake and artificial and applied to reality has bad things. we see the same thing with critical race theory. we saw a white cop save a black girl's life and it was called racism. rioting, looting, killing and assault and encouraged and forgiven if the people do it have a certain color. that lead to lawlessness. the people putting that crap out, their egos are affected by it. the crocodile will get to you eventually. >> greg: or alligator. >> they're different, greg. crocodile is more aggressive 82 yes, yes. morgan, i hope you left your motorcycle out bike. you're like a country and

western hells angel. >> i live in nashville now. that's why. this is my nashville vibe. >> greg: there you go. isn't i ironic that that teacher claims if you don't come to the light, you're like a pedophile. that seems like a form of child abuse. >> very scary. i have a daughter now. they're not the -- she's not genesis' kids age but makes me concerned. one of the reasons i moved to the south. i have to get out of the craziness. get to real america. in your monologue, you talked about chinese propaganda. i spent two years travelling the world with mike pompeo. i've seen real tyranny. i've seen where -- i would like to get all the teachers in that video and take them to the countries i've been to -- >> greg: and leave them there. >> i think in secretary blinken that works for biden now said this to the chinese. he said we've had a lot of flaws but be work to overcome them and

we're seeing instances where the russians, the chinese and iranians are actually using the divisions in our country based on race on facebook and other social media outlets to divide us. so our enemies are using this language that is going on right now to bait us against each other. it's effective. >> greg: like dummy, twitter handles that have one or no followers and pumping this stuff out. kat, did joe biden ever exist? as a plagiarist, he's bernie sanders with less hair. >> i don't think that joe biden has views at this point. i don't think any of the stuff that he's saying is stuff he thought of. i think he has people saying hey, this is the thing that you believe. he's like okay. he says it. he goes home hand does across

word puzzle and goes to bed. i can't blame him. i won't live to be that age. there's no way. look, if people want their kid to learn this, they should have a school where they do that. but i just -- we have to get rid of the department of education. i know -- thank you. [applause] people say it sounds crazy. what is crazier? all kids are unique individuals, communities are different. every child is different. what is better to make the decisions with your kids or have them educated the same way by the feds? of course it's ridiculous. it was always ridiculous. >> greg: a correction. i don't think president biden does cross word puzzles. he does the word scramble but he doesn't change it. >> hungry hippos. >> greg: good to me. >> he's out of control. >> greg: unscrambled real words. still ahead, it's official. kaitlyn is going to destroy gavin.

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>> greg: could we see kate running the golden state? caitlyn jenner is running for governor of california hoping to unseat gavin newsome who is as unpopular as gavin newsome. jenner, a republican, has lived in california over 50 years and considers herself fiscally conservative and socially liberal. no word if they might nominate the house wives of orange county. she said politics have been placed over progress. and special interests over people. i agree. sacramento needs an honest leader with a clear vision. here here. apparently this announcement

made newsome so nervous he nearly dropped his shrimp fork at the french laundry. the question is will she pull in the transgender voter demographic. democrats will have to get creative and saying that voting for her is trans phobic. here at gutfeld!" we're so excited that we came up with bumper sticker slogans for her. jenner, better ideas and better hair. jenner a governor that can keep up with the kardshians. jenner, strong enough for a man, but made for a woman. jenner, she already beat the communists once. she can do it again. jenner, bet you haven't been on a wheaty's books you liberal.

jenner, i'm all woman and i can still kick any man's as in the 4:40. finally, jenner, make the switch. [applause] morgan, i am so excited. i might quit my job and work for her except i'm greedy. i have a lifestyle that needs to be supported by vast wealth. >> you would be a great press secretary. i'm so excited about this. first of all, i think she's fabulous. she's great. this proves, by the way, that republicans don't care about identity politics. >> greg: no way. >> you can pick whatever you want to be. i love that ric grenell may run against her. we could have the first trans woman, the first openly gay cabinet running against each

other. it's like take that. >> greg: people will focus on kaitlyn's identity but not her -- she has a wicked sense of humor. i don't know if she noticed that. >> you said you know her. >> greg: we lived together for a while in the 70s. i was her -- i got her into the decathlon. i pulled some strings. >> this explains a lot. i want to say something. i have to talk about this. the "gutfeld!" thing, listen, that was all coming clear. when we were close, you used to come over to my place. i knew he was coming because it's goofy greg and he would knock on the door and sometimes naked or in an outfit. really, i would throw the door and greet each other with jazz hands. "gutfeld!." i feel like -- >> this was ours. >> this was kind of -- it was

kind of between us. and i feel like -- again, i'm happy for your success. >> greg: it hurts. if you could vote for her, would you vote for her? >> yeah. she's god a great platform. but hell yeah. go for it. why not? >> greg: it destroyed arnold. >> yeah. >> greg: he slept with the maid. >> got bad. >> had a baby. >> greg: that was the happy ending. >> silver lining. >> greg: a lot of silver lining to infidelity. >> wonder what you did. could we do a re-enactment of that? >> what we did is get each other through the war. leave it at that. >> greg: janice, i grew up in california. i can't vote there. but i would vote twice -- no i.d., right? what are your thoughts?

>> i wish she was running against cuomo. >> how about that? [applause] >> greg: you know he would try to kiss her in the debate. good to see you, kaitlyn. let me kiss you. >> he kisses everyone. it's an italian thing. >> greg: yeah. you're racist if you deny it. >> yeah. fredo. i think it's great. i love that joy behar melted down today. all of twitted melted down. >> greg: how can you tell with joy? >> she kept calling him him/he. she would never do that with a democrat. that wouldn't happen. >> greg: probably bothers her because it happens to her. >> if she had whatever in her apology, the most hart felt contain what. >> running is the anti-lock down

candidate. a lot of people are pissed that they were locked down. newsome is having fancy dinners. it was like his aide's birthday. that occasion comes once in a lifetime. ridiculous. no to the funeral to say good-bye to your loved one but this i have to do. there's a space for that right now. and i just think it is great because again, a lot of the arguments people used to silence republicans are this oh, you're this bigot. she's not only transgender, she's a lesbian. like what are you going to do there? i awesome. i love keeping up with the kardshians. kris jenner was so mean. i'm afraid to say that because i'm scared of kris jenner. she has better hair than gavin newsome. >> definitely. >> greg: and she's an athlete. athletes are never victims. they never fall for the

victimology. >> people make jokes about her. oh, that's funny. >> greg: i had no idea she's a lesbian. that's what i identify. >> again, this explains everything. >> greg: we went right to it. >> that's what i'm thinking about right now. >> greg: she took the school board to finding new routes to reach your customers and new ways for them to reach you is what business is all about it's what the united states postal service has always been about so as your business changes, we're changing with it with e-commerce that runs at the speed of now next day and two-day shipping nationwide same day shipping across town returns right from the doorstep and deliveries seven days a week it's a whole new world out there let's not keep it waiting

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and every one of us knows that young children are not affected by this virus. what have we done with this bless something we shoved it asaid and said we don't care. you're still going to wear it every day, 5 and 6-year-olds. you still can't play together like normal kids. it's time. take the masks off of my child. >> greg: if i had a dollar for every time i heard that. her oldest child is in kindergarten. she told "fox and friends" how the masks interfere with with their development. >> they learn social norms and how to solve conflicts and how to read facial expresses from their peers and teacher. i don't see how any of the children can really do that and have a real childhood right now. it's very difficult. >> greg: unless cdc guidelines change, gwinnett county will continue their policy of having students wear masks in classes through the next school year in 2022. they're playing follow the

leader instead of follow the science. for courtney taylor, the gloves are off as long as the masks stay on or the gloves stay on -- either way, i'm wearing leather chaps under my pants. they're chafing. thanks for the gift, terry. terry, you wear a mask by only at leather bars where you dance. >> there's other plays, too. >> greg: is she like a hero? this is what we needed to hear. >> i listened to her this time. there's a little vibe of the braveheart where she goes what will we do with that blessing? what shall you do with that freedom? reminds me -- bad accent. you get the point. >> sounds like groundskeeper willie. >> greg: beat it. >> shut up! so we were talking in the green room. bothering you. i think what we see now is people do not like to be -- they don't like to be called out that they've been played. this mask thing is getting played.

people hang on to stuff. they're madder at the fact that -- madder at the people calling them out on the b.s. than the people that did it to them. you hang on to this thing is it's the mask. you find out man, kids aren't going to get this disease? screw it. they don't want to let go it. they got played and now getting rid of it means they have to come after people that pointed out out. >> greg: kat, if the democrats have your way, if you're pregnant, they will implant a mask on the fetus so it zooms out. >> science. >> oh, well -- >> yeah, well. >> i don't think -- i think i'd say no to that. >> greg: what if you can't? >> you're not allowed to. >> okay. i guess i can't have kids. plan on doing that tomorrow. >> i had to wear a mask while giving birth. >> serious? >> yeah. in november. >> greg: wow. >> did they put a mask on your

baby? >> that's insane. >> a very important part of life is knowing what face to make. [laughter] serious. it's very important thing. oh, my dog died. you're like -- >> greg: so true. >> you have to learn by like being around it, you see the faces and you make the faces. there's no book that can really teach that experience. we're going to have this whole generation of people in a new decades that spent their youngest most formative years never seeing faces or showing their faces. if we're getting to the point where the importance of seeing faces is something that we're brushing aside, we're truly insane. >> greg: one thing i have learned is how to use my eyes. like when you say hello, you do this with your eyes.

>> someone tells you -- >> you do, yeah. >> the craziest thing happened to me today. you have to be like -- you know, you have to make the right face or people will think you're a [bleep]. >> greg: too late or the me. janice, you're a mom as we pointed out in the a block. a great way if you can't think of a question, start off with your a mom. you're a mom. thoughts on kids and masks? do they go together on halloween? >> terrible. i was applauding this woman when i saw her. especially my 10-year-old says every day, mom, when can i take the mask off? it's heart breaking. in class, they wear them all the time. they have mask breaks where they take it off. it's science fiction. it's unbelievable. almost zero chance that they will get covid. >> greg: and endure it mildly. >> sean: >> going to remember this year and not in a good way the rest of their lives. >> greg: yeah. except daddy and mommy are home all the time and they're drunk. remember the year when dad would

fall asleep at 2:00 p.m.? covered in malt liquor. >> i can't tell if he was mad because he had a mask on. >> greg: the other thing, too, morgan, they're notoriously disgusting. repulsive creatures. you think that mask is -- no, no. i keep using the same mask over and over again. if i was a kid -- i am disgusting. i told people that i wear my -- like i -- you got it. >> this is going to sound romantic. i wear my wife's mask because i like to smell her every day. >> ahhh. >> that's weird. >> greg: thank you. >> it's cute. >> never did it with me. never did it with me. >> greg: that was an eye wide shut mask. it was very expensive. >> no mask in the foxhole. the mask for me is one tiny

thing. the bigger thing i worry about is not the kids that -- the parents will always do something to make sure they're in school, not left behind. we're going to put the kid in private school. i worry about the kids that come from disadvantaged communities, single parents, the parents are working two jobs now. the kids haven't been -- many states they haven't been back in school. there's a whole generation of kids like i don't know how we get it back for those kids. right? if you come with privilege, the parents figure it out. if you don't have privilege, the kids are lost. >> greg: yeah. we're going to see the consequences ten years from now. bill in grenada at my private beach. not wearing anything. >> i wasn't invited to that east >> i wasn't invited to that east year how the p

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>> greg: more than a year the pandemic and some trends have emerged. i'm not talking about stalking exs online. i enjoyed your wedding picture, michelle. i'm completely over you. i swear. there's this one trend is our socialist circles have shank, which experts say is good and bad. shout out to the institute for playing itself. so why have we been distanced from our loved ones? the pandemic has freed us from the burden of relationships with annoying acquaintances otherwise known as kat timpf. show me one more picture of your dog, i'm going to purpose down a courthouse. speaking of useless co-workers,

turns out working from a home makes your more productive. the commuting time will lead you to a 5% boost to the u.s. economy and an 80% decrease in bathing. another study found that 58% of people working remotely would look for a new job if forced to return to the office. you're sure they're not public school teachers? that came from flexjobs.com, which sounds like something i paid $10 for in the men's room at gold's gym. i don't know what that means. kat, it's hard. you don't have my friends to begin with. did your friends circle shrink to minus 6? >> you're so lucky that i'm damaged enough to take insults as compliments, greg. so it really did shrink though. did shrink. i had some people that i considered close friends. a lot of people left the city for a little bit during the pandemic. and one of my closest friends,

i'm a lot happier not seeing this person because he's mean to me. truly, i was like as fun as it might 50 for him to be mean to me, i don't have to put up with that. i'm so happier not having this person in my life. >> greg: is he watching? >> if he is, i don't care. he knows because i no longer speak to you. >> greg: i know who you're talking about. that was like your best friend. >> my best friend in the whole world. >> greg: he's a jerk. >> come over and [bleep] on me and my fiance. i was like wait a minute. that's not fun. i'm so much happier. if it wasn't for the pandemic, i would have him over [bleep] on me to you. >> greg: pat, looks like our hours is up. can you venmo the $350 for this session and see you next week. >> i got a therapist already. $350? you know, i have insurance now.

i'm full time here. i have the insurance. >> greg: i got the insurance. that's what they call it. that's the name. the insurance, janice. is this a good thing? your friends shrinking? not your actual friends shirkle but circle -- it would be funny if we were shrinking. >> i was going to say -- >> my feet have gotten bigger. >> yeah. >> i don't wear heels. i think they have gotten bigger. >> greg: that's amazing. >> it's true. >> 9 1/2. now i'm at 10. i don't know what happened. i don't like anybody so -- >> yeah, you do. >> just kidding. >> you love me. >> of course i love you. i'll never leave you. that will never happen. >> greg: morgan, my friends haven't shrunk but my liver has expanded. >> everybody. >> yes. >> the pandemic was super weird for me because i was pregnant for a lot of it.

and i was going in to work. i've been going in to the state department every day. i didn't have this experience that everybody had. it was weird. like -- >> greg: your friend-based group won. unless you end up hating your kid, a 50% chance your kid will be horrible and just -- >> that's not true. >> greg: there's studies -- >> in his numbers. >> greg: is this your child? >> yeah. >> greg: you don't know any better. >> she wants her money back. >> greg, do you have kids? >> greg: of course not. i'm an expert at this. experts don't have children. >> i don't. we're both experts. >> greg: exactly. >> after everything in the foxhole -- >> we tried. we tried. >> greg: last word to you, terry. did your circle of friends -- >> i don't know. you know, i don't get the productivity thing. what does that mean? >> greg: that's true.

>> here's what i don't get. is the productivity measured on how much time you work and -- i feel like you're getting into that hive mind kind of thing where i'm more productive. your humanity and productivity would be measured more than how much money -- >> greg: good point. >> you're welcome. >> greg: good point. if you're lonely and depressed, who cares how productive you are. >> i read that article. is that the most important thing? >> greg: finally terry says something that makes sense. don't go up [sfx: psst psst] allergies don't have to be scary. spraying flonase daily stops your body from overreacting

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>> greg: welcome back. let's find out if we got anything wrong this week. deja vu. for that, we go to steve. he's been watching every episode this week and here to point out any mistakes. i'm sure everything i said was absolutely correct. how did we do, steve? >> well, greg, not great. not even good. far from good. i can't see good from where i'm sitting. tuesday, you did a story about the worst states in the country.

roll that clip. >> maine, california, rhode island, which is a state. that's crazy. is it an island? i guess it is. >> okay. greg we did a little something. we liquid up in the dictionary. an island is a tract of land surrounded by water. the answer is surrounded by water. rhode island is surrounded by connecticut, massachusetts and the little things called the atlantic ocean. you said it's crazy to be called a state. it's been one since may 4, 1776. >> greg: pretty good. i think he got me good on this one. all right. >> we did agree. >> we have teams -- >> i was actually -- i went to college in rhode island. kat, moving to you.

you had a tasty nugget thursday. you talked about decriminalizing prostitution in new york. roll that clip. >> the whole idea of decriminalizing sex work is it doesn't have to be underground. the fact that it's underground. it can make trafficking worse and harder to defect. a positive step. let it rip and be deeply decrimized. >> i'm deeply correct. >> that would be great if we lived in katland. most of us live in reality. in 1999, a study of the netherlands determined that decriminal -- >> the netherlands? >> yes. the netherlands. >> whatever about you say is completely irrelevant. >> at the university, they found that decriminalization of this actually promotes sex

trafficking. women get brought from other countries against their will -- >> many, many studies in this country have shown otherwise. we're not in the netherlands. >> we're not going to count the studies that you make up in your head. [laughter] >> the >> yes. >> greg: yes. >> the netherland. used to be the nether region. now it's the neither land. >> where is the netherlands? >> greg: never mind. we have to move on. >> something that you said monday. >> greg: yes. >> about legalizing the trade? >> right. >> roll that tape. >> greg: you should be able to sell your liver if you die once the transaction is complete. if organ sales were legal, we could help more people on the kidney transplant list by offering financial incentives for donors. we could replace knock-offs from the dollar store. >> okay. that was frightening that you

slade that out loud. greg, in a 2013 swedish study found that sell their kidneys do worse than those that donate. many have psychological problems. >> greg: that's the correlation. correlation not causation because maybe they already had those problems and were not healthy. had an unhealthy lifestyle. >> and black market. the black market. >> okay. settle down. don't make me grab my axe and come down there. all right. terry. >> what? >> you said something earlier about the way you and greg used to greet yourselves. you mentioned nudity and jazz hands. >> i stand by that and i'm not ashamed of it, sir. >> good. we have teams of fact checkers as we speak going through security camera footage of your old apartment building.

we will make this -- this will be a clip on next week's show. >> i mean, i get it. you're sort of threatening me. i told you we did it. i look forward to seeing it again. >> it's not a threat. i want to know what kind of music you'd like for the background. >> i'll get up with you later. >> okay. >> maybe the bee gees. >> i'm getting we have to roll now. i have to go to my library and finish up the plus by greg gutfeld. >> greg: well-done. thanks, mr. phoenix. >> thank you. i'm off to go fact check some people on facebook now. >> greg: take care. all right. [applause] more stuff coming up. ♪ limu emu & doug ♪ liberty mutual customizes your car insurance so you only pay for what you need. thank you! hey, hey, no, no limu, no limu! only pay for what you need.

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episode. thanks to our studio audience, fox news, shannon bream is next. i'm greg gutfeld, i love you, america [♪♪♪] jesse: welcome to "watters' world." i'm jesse watters. perception is reality. that's the subject of tonight's watters words. there is a big problem america we want to address. the gap between reality and people's perception of reality has become dangerously wide. so much so that people are seeing things that just aren't there. the nation is nearing mass psychosis. we are living in an alternative universe. buff this is by design -- buff butthis is by desig