the, the that's all for now up next is doc foam featuring the life of robin, who does not identify as a man or woman, as moni was on dw comment on social media, including instagram and x, a handle that is asking them to use thanks for watching the by the code names project, cassandra, re determined through our investigation that has to pull out was operating like a global drug or not. somebody normally theaters, organization, the object to financially drain has gone up and bring them down. so the team agents from the american drug enforcement agency, i mean as well as another whole left. they wanted to go after their money. they had from lies themselves. we needed them to reveal that so world and to their own

people. why did the us government suddenly shut down project cassandra in 2016? 03 pod documentary series. i'm asking has paula starts may 4th on dw, the it's been kind of how i'm not a woman, but i'm not a man either. i'm not a 3rd option or anything else. i just don't have a gender for my not to for my transition with hormones in surgery, and i was as completely as female advices. that hurt me a lot of the time the subject i'm not physically, but psychologically happened is a m c. shares is new. i take the hormones because i enjoy feeling more masculine masculinity. but that doesn't make me a man of this month to month. yeah, the one who sits in speaker,

i'm going to look at myself in the mirror now. the music can finally see me because the person i've always been by them, i guess you could say that now i finally exist. yeah. existence for fine. the my name is up and it's been some incense. my name is robin diaz. i'm 25 highlights . i'm starting to become a social worker on foot. i live near frankfort and i'm trans smoothly. that means the gender i was assigned to birth is wrong, but it doesn't fit this type. i don't have a general, this is how i can use list of the information. there's nothing there. this is okay. i know that now, and it's okay that there's nothing with the kids that are past the term that fits best as a gender and buying their additionally. i don't know if it's in my gene this week.

i definitely didn't choose anything else cuz the i just hit scan and then just on then have a still not so much. yep. but it's possible for me to go to and i walk across the street and people look at me and want to categorize me as a man or woman. and whenever i'm out in public kentucky, i noticed that i'm seeing is a man that people address me is that something young man, it's months flag and at a distance, that's what people think. when they look at my body type this cup a bit, it's,

that's what i want it and want to achieve this advice video to. it's been this cool smith smith's colleague lives in savannah. i'm very happy not to be seen as a woman any more about being seen as a man. is it quite right either this or any of those people don't see that there's another option in housing, but there are more than just to generalize this. the most mentioned that i know that most people are being mean i found it, they just don't understand about what happens over and over and over again in the past. i find it exhausting to endure all the time. oh, so how does this my, how long is this is my hormone, jones? mean i didn't talk of, i've been putting it on my arms every day for a year now. and it's made my voice deeper. must this one to stand? i can grow beer. they'll just move optics. the

hello. my name is carmen somethings. i mean i'm dr. websites. yeah. basically to do i got some files. yep. so try any tasha. yeah, thank assume this it's been hard to hear via the car today because i'm due for a mistake. let me check up. i have everything removed in the doctor's checking to make sure everything is here. well, let's go to the highs. must be a mice and i'm, i'm crap. i just stood up because they bothered me most about my body. apart from my voice, with the breasts fisting simply because i couldn't either because it was too much and the people says that, oh my god, you must be a woman because there are brushes, there are only got the most santa falls on mendo bye test,

especially on this not i'll ask them give, it was just an area that i never considered my body cup that never belong to me, but that was never a part of i need. i'm tired from you. and the surface to me said, i always wanted to go and cook, i believe my own body should make me feel comfortable and secure. a few that i'm just as much as the bottom feeler is. as soon as i found out that there was something i could do about that this thing was very liberating. the civic, some bought us be once i knew it was possible that i could do it by own like, it was clear to me that i wanted to go through with kind of this my home on the inside of my milk science. build us all the photos of i really don't like seeing photos of me with the breasts are still clearly visible along the name. i don't like nastiness because i just see a completely different person it under because a stranger thing you sent us on this. we don't want to present myself that way either who's present to you in the state. that's why i'm covering my face

a little bit of a stuff because it just doesn't feel good. the brothers, i had to scroll down through the middle of it to button the fittest needs for us to wear like having a 3rd arm or something kind of something completely wrong in my body. i couldn't touch the lesson that's consistent. when i looked down at myself when i just thought it was terrible, i really couldn't cope with it it on there was something i heard from everyone kind of stomach throwing himself selling it on the suspect. open robin, would you come with me? hello. hello. oh, thank you my, i'm right here. okay, this way right in here. so i if you go under via phone and take a seat here on the left. perfect. how are you? how you doing? great so far? yeah, yes. i assume your quality of life as improvement. on the mission. yeah. yes. very much cover. my body feels completely different to me and i can touch it all and it feels good and feels like me it's all you're close to probably. yeah. sometimes. yeah, totally haven't the shirt wouldn't work before because my shoulders are brought her

down and the ones who need different sized quote, personally in class, i'll have to figure out where to find something that fits managed by spending time with me sitting in front while it looks good on you. you were at. well, actually i'd like to see how things are looking right now for that. i would ask you to take off your chair and 5, some of this of the s my assessments the who backs up. because the 1st time i saw my flight up, her body was at the hospital for hours after surgery and still p shawn, i didn't have a mirror, but i just had a can speak is i could look down the front. when i noticed that these mountains were gone, i'm a kind of the academic and then i could see my belly button and it's going to me and both and out of the yes. 4 it felt like so i'm coming home actually that's this is the opposite. the scars have faded quite a bit. i noticed there was a bit of stretching here. right. so yeah, probably because i'm right handed. assigned to that. so it looks like you massage this well in the meantime, as i recommended to think,

i think the scars will get better with time association fee can continue massaging them. but overall, i think your upper body looks more masculine and it suits you very well. thank you . the 55th, always pretty tough and i think for those with this issue, the most important thing is simply to be accepted. they don't want to take away anybody else's freedom. they just want to be appreciated and accepted in their own freedom of that kind of this isn't some kind of frivolous process. it involves getting many expert opinions, changing or legal status, and who knows what else of each other. it's just not something you decide to do on a whim. try to that this would be, well, if you need anything, come back any time to you. that's fine. thanks. thank you. it is, i'm not a new person. my personality is still the same. but this shadow self is finally gone. as i skipped some color to design, there are those who say i just want attention. it sometimes is specifically about being a non binary person identity and gauge about it. so when you look at how long the

journey i am parked on really is been on this on what it takes to get where i am now, then is that it's just so much was only didn't choose. this is from voice been this is sophia and no, i don't want attention on line semester kind of make some kind of just name list. i didn't even go through with all these operations just to get some attention off. my son cut the human side. so applies in young time when i was between 13 and 23. was the worst of my life. even my, not just one of my old school advice and images always in the middle and high school here for 5 or 6 years from 6 avalon. as a dial fedloan bank, they're on the blue bench and that's where our class would hang out at lunch time. but it was always an outside or in the loan, a bunch of other images up. so that brings back old emotions as a new field. i'll just

have to kind of one and i only have any friends because they all thought i was weird. illusion in my my classmates would often just make up words to tease me. you know, think i forgot to phone one word for example, was farmer because i didn't shave my legs. sign on was considered an hygenic some items for the a tough on its own conflict. guided me about few people made fun of me. that would be invited to a party that wasn't given to have access to them and for this one. so in the patio then, so for an option that will be taught to me if you listen to you can further on you know, started when i was young past i realized i didn't fit in with the girls and i didn't fit in with the boys. the girls just did girl stuff and i found it strange

mass fun this problem, but i wasn't at home with the boys either. i'm and used by the office so i didn't know where i belong to him. you as a fellow at the time you spoke to me, i still haven't processed that yet. it's deep within me. so it's no teeth. and it seemed like i used to put into it and they couldn't talk to my parents like family or friends that kind of want because i didn't know how to put it into words. that was, this is mr. news was what i'm going to, i didn't fit in anywhere. he was sort of stuck in limbo and then i couldn't stand out. so i started trying to fit in with the girls because that's where i supposedly belong. i had a job, i'm trying to find me. i took photos and create

a new look and photos. it's always very strange mac. i think that's the best word for it. the best of what the fear via because i know that to me, and that's part of my past, but i've lost my connection to the savannah. forgotten had good about it, have the disability and so fellow on. i don't talk about myself as a girl either each and because i never was one and i never was i never will be. it's bonnie ions, it's that of me and sign. and that's why i don't use my old name anymore. important because it's just not relevant anymore now, but of this i saw some is kind of the events of everyone else could soon at some point in 2018 i left home and i thought to myself, hey, i don't know any people who work, we're in the mentioned to korea and i came across coast 41 in frankfort and sisters . and then from 1st the 1st 3 of us you sent for queer youth center, a safe place for people who work a bi, sexual, a sexual trans or non veneer tongue. so who's been as in, you know, for me all started here, 2 and a half years ago, the youngest on the phone,

just as estimate here. the 1st time i was here, there was an introductory meeting. it was at that meeting that i met people who weren't clear for the 1st. i asked my yellow to calculate the confusing um 15 more importantly people who are transcends where like me, diesels, into the is my little world kind of exploded and it is. and it was like, wow, i think on trans to slope, but not a trans ma'am. as being 10, i started googling and research quite a bit on the internet to see what's out there against you intended to associate. so i quickly came across the term non binary series, often because of miss bean. yeah. and that word on tied a huge not within making using norton didn't have to lose perhaps as a to answer those guns penalized the 1st it was a big release. when done. com and i was afraid of the youngest because the moment i knew this about myself, which this was, i also knew i couldn't go back because of

a key that wouldn't more often just meant to look in this deed of men's. i had to tell my boyfriend, delighted. i had to tell my family, well, i had to tell my friends who was this man of a medium. it was time to let the cat out of the bags splendid ends on most of the customs i sent. it said confound from chris and i have been together for 5 years now. i asked for, and i only came out to him about 2 and a half years ago the inc outage of my partner was trans, wasn't crestwood all madison. i showed him videos of people who are non binary of the because it was important to me that you get to know that as well. and, but this maybe this value is super interested and super supportive as well inside. and we'll see, hey, all right, well figure it out somehow. what do you need of? how can i help you? but i cries because i hadn't expected. that is and then i was just like of course it was incredible. yeah. with this was

the city moment. what was it like for you? and i told you when i told you i was try it, that's up to something very far from that list. and i'm certainly allowed to absorb of the, the i had no idea of what that meant for and how things would change by should i accept the challenge or the challenge. i'm gonna have to say this. anything change for you between us because of in the thing? no, no, just a life of it, but nothing drunk. next coffee and then not in my name is it may i see your name, but i don't consciously think about this anymore. it's more subconscious now because it's still you saving and strange that i have a deep voice mails to my hot the mattresses i'm looking at as well as your questions to be honest. i don't even notice the attorney language, the, i don't remember what your voice was like before closing time. i just have it in my hand type stuff. in my little image, i have

a view right now as also replace the one that my memory is up in the, on the sides. when i think back to the time before the changes, you still look the same as you do. now if you do it by myself, because i go at christmas and because that's what my head thinks is, right, it's like, it's always been this way the in the mind, fish, southern and you back over to tech. at 1st i was confused when robin came out to me and said that because they had no experience with the whole thing and the incumbent fire of a. but i learned all the terminology and all the things that go with its underground just as rather not to i'm hanging. i was just looking down like a few less and then level and what am i feelings for each other and especially my feelings from robin were not affected because for me and the person is always in the for grant. and it depends on who knows. looks like there is more to a person than just their gender. so of course after robin came out to this i don't question or feature because it didn't matter to me what the others talked about as

a couple 100 bucks. yeah. and then so it was very clear to me that we would stay together one to decide about a solution. we can kind of thing, just go through them line up this about seats in the income for a while. i wondered whether this could even work through outside or as we'd always been hetero. yeah. social norm because that we knew that was going to change and of course, that does affect the relationship to this office but the you. so the question was, how do we do with the the, i think for most people, the whole trans issue is still very for this in my own should exist just lots of different mac symptoms. yes, there is more acceptance. active tons about acceptance is not understanding. this is there's a different used escapes. strange people keep getting assault if it comes to the let's, let's just the other day in frankfort on the trans woman was attacked right on the street. the screen you only thing discrimination like that makes me so angry. must be so. uh, but also very, very sad. told by this man,

i realize other people were denied me the right to have my own identity. my own life feed me and my lima things aren't going well politically, either off the pretty take mazda has kind of quinta, look at hungry or poland gun at a point on goal and is currently setting up l g, b t q, frequently. be chiefly, it's on line where people who work, we are not welcome using this alpha induced and a yeah. so, so what is that going to do? do you think you're not welcome here in the world just because you think you're not allowed to exist on the success team smells inside of this kind of absolutely been discriminated against, but in many ways my name is painful to come on them whenever i get letters it's always a very strange feeling for me then because they always call me the wrong thing in the state. and my wife has unlimited health investments and this sunday i'm gonna think it would be best if that were simply a minute. it's not because it's not necessary. well and when needed, i use meal pronoun location, you know, putting on this and there's a whole list of them because they let father put on. they get something on that

shows the pronoun and it helped me at the spelled n i and also google as an investor, for example, instead of saying that he plays with his dog, and that would be me and plays with means don't suck a cloudless mike, i'm on the phone. sure, that might seem complicated at 1st one, but with a little practice can you get used to it? so pushing it in one time on business and the comforts on that also can, i think getting out of your comfort zone is the least you can do to except the 1st on tying this active tip. it's sylvia if send it had it. it's just a little word means we can change so much. let's, let's know i'm 10 slots by sophia's and then can, ma'am, we've incorporated so much english into the german language. language is always changing. i can't understand how you can be so ignorant and how you can have such a hard time with adding a few words to your vocabulary and human level. it can kind of thing even mama leave up. how about your mom do dad? i'm writing this letter to you so that you can take,

however much time you need as you read, i guess my type name cont, as such as a few lungs for them. it was very afraid of coming up to my parents because i knew that they had no contact with your people at all. so you had mentioned how other the company didn't even know anyone who was gash woods and somebody should be that that's why i didn't talk to them 1st, the assessment then i decided to write them a letter because i didn't want to experience the 1st reaction by this the estimate so in this upcoming budget is being kind of how i met a woman. i've been ok, but i'm also not a man lives in yet. i remain simply who i am, who i've always been to the flex been always so that i may change my appearance and so but i am still the same child. you have always loved the invoice tie, it may take your time and get in touch. when you want to know more about this is when she came in to see me and i wish that you will accept me for who i am is without having to justify myself to you. i love you if need boys robin hobbin to meet you, but that's in the attempt to my surprise, my parents responded very well, my mind and what type of screen 1st my mother wrote me on what so this thing is she

told me she loves me very much and thank me for the letter. thank toughening fees on mine. papa had him and my dad said he didn't care because nothing had changed jobs despite emmy's infinity it won't lose me. i said because i'm still his child and always loving on. yeah. dont need to end up spinning as i can when that result a lot of great boost. hello me, i'm me gets i'm doing well when yours. when isn't that? from logarithm my parents did worry that this might not be the right thing for me to do. most funds, they just didn't know me well, i know it can come. i talked to them a lot and told them that, you know, this is right for me, like me is just trust me. you know this, this felt like me down and how does it mean? and then they did trust me once and now they can see that i'm doing better despite its talk soon. bye. choose

the machine, my endocrinologist today. can you check my blood work every 3 months route and gives me a new prescription for my hormones except somebody, the homeowner conduct the flu? yeah. 1770. 0 um. do you have a video that are recorded in edited myself, where you can see and hear the changes the hormones have made especially and my voice is open in the time. i understand today. crazy

but i'm on the phone kind of because name, there are no real side effects to hormone treatment will flush honest. uh, the only thing i'm worried about is being dependent opinions been, as it's been opinion. yeah, i'm dependent on doctor is giving me a prescription. so i can keep taking hormones, name come on, donald has been around as has are, sometimes i'm worried what would happen if that were to stop somehow that i couldn't get them anymore? assistance makes me us fun. so hoping that it's going to the counter coverage. and then let's mon, i remember last time you reported that you were still not quite satisfied with the effective this hormone therapy, in your case, testosterone test the whole disorder and severe non editor. yeah. the dosage was lower than that, it was indeed lower of new things and i wasn't doing so well. i had some mood swings in so to leave this place in order, let's talk about increasing the doses. that's possible. as long as we monitor

things, this would contribute district images. for me, it's important to note that being trans is neither a disease nor a disorder. i see it as a normal bearing and experienced by some members of our society. it's just a way of being in the world often times the 1st time climbing, sense of mistake to me without the breast it's very different. miss douglas comes in. i don't have to focus on how it looks or what's in the way. i can just call him without anything interfere and catch on. who is this the good?

yeah. this is from an investment funding go to top. i felt very supported when i came out to my best friend and, and things changed very quickly that soon enough. and then she asked me directly what me and she should be using now the vision and how i define myself and the seems to be for me. yes sir. and i think it breaks the ice between us a little more funny uh, being one of the 1st people to find out about it was the ultimate proof that you trusted me. soon. the following up on us was ups is i'm gonna didn't change anything in the friendship itself. if anything deep and did a bit this in. so yeah, i think so too. all the field follow reading definitely seems to be a lot happier in that piece. with each passing day, you notice more and more just how well robin is doing now, scrubbing netscape, so miss from minecraft and i've definitely come into my own defeat and body and soul. yeah. but in society it's a different story. yes, i have reached my personal goal always most,

but i still have to fight until this goal is valued by others. so i can be accepted just as i am. so i can simply be a land lease even been in the system assigned the the the

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