good night, ryan. good night, ryan. [whispering] best night ever. like i said, it's not about the horniness. it's about the loneliness. and how can i be alone here with my boys? like a...famous person once said, boys on the side. but i don't-- i disagree. i say, let's hear it for the boys. [car door opening] son of a bitch. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, dulce sloan! [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ >> dulce: hello, friends! welcome to "the daily show!" i'm dulce sloan! [cheers and applause] we've got so much to talk about tonight. republicans want to fire their speaker. donald trump is going straight-up tony soprano. and we will tell you an easy way to not pay taxes. if you don't mind going to jail. so let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with the latest drama on capitol hill. congress might finally be sending ukraine that aid money they've been asking for, but it might cost speaker mike johnson his job. >> the speaker of the house says he's taking a stand despite threats from within his own party that could cost him his

job. house speaker mike johnson says he will call a vote on funding for the war in ukraine, saying this is not a game. >> house conservatives railed against the plan. >> you want him to resign? you want him to resign? >> yes. yes, i asked him to resign. >> there's no other way to describe it. it's surrender. it's disappointing. >> i'm very disappointed. >> is it time for him to get out of office? >> i need -- i need a little bit more time today, but it's not good. >> johnson arguing the stakes around the world are too high. >> i'm doing here what i believe to be the right thing. >> dulce: well, that was your first mistake right there. doing the right thing in congress? [laughs] you must be new here. shit is not looking good for this man. man? hmm. i think he looks like a giant little boy. out here in his daddy's suit. [laughs] you're not going to fool me with that little gray streak in the front, sir! i know baby powder when i see it.

come on now! i did musicals in high school! the point is, this pinocchio-looking mother[bleep] might get kicked out of his job by his own party, all because he doesn't want russia to take over ukraine. and the one coming hardest for speaker boss baby is marjorie taylor green. and i believe she will get him fired, because this lady has the strongest karen-energy i've ever seen! >> we are angry. and people have had it. speaker johnson needs to resign. people are not going to like any of this, they're going to be angry about it. he is a damn fool. i am so pissed off about it because the american people are pissed off about it. >> dulce: damn! the last time i saw a white lady that pissed off about a bill, she was being kicked out of a chili's. [applause] i don't know if she's going to get mike johnson fired, but

she's definitely getting store credit for something! then again, the house is all about having representation. and she's certainly representing all the moms out there who have assaulted a kid's soccer coach. the crazy thing is, if capitol hill karen does get the speaker fired, that'll be the second time in six months! republicans, if you're constantly firing speakers, maybe the problem is with you. [cheers and applause] y'all can't even explain your position without sounding stupid. "we're mad that he's working with both parties to pass bills!" ma'am, that's his damn job! see, this woman is like one of those friends who complains about her boyfriend but it just makes her sound bad. like, "can you believe mark canceled dinner with me just to visit his mom in hospice? oh, he's so selfish!"

but let's move on to the presidential race. today, president biden was campaigning in pennsylvania, where he received the endorsement of literally 15 kennedys, who picked biden over their own relative, rfk jr. [cheers and applause] which is brutal! can you imagine being at your wedding and when the pastor asks if anyone objects, your entire family stands up and goes, "please don't marry this man! we know him better than anyone and he sucks!" [applause] but while joe biden is trying to get endorsements, donald trump out here trying to get paid. >> donald trump's team wants republican candidates to give them a cut of their fundraising cash. the campaign is telling candidates and committees that if they use the former president's name, image, and

likeness to fundraise, they should give at least 5% of what they get to donald trump. >> it says "any split that is higher than 5% will be seen favorably by the republican national committee and president trump's campaign." >> dulce: damn! donald trump is shaking down the candidates in his own party for a cut of their money? oh, this is some straight up mafia shit. trump's about to leave a horse head in someone's bed. or even scarier, rudy giuliani. do you know how crazy this is? [applause] usually, candidates in the same political party campaign together because they have a shared vision for the country. trump is like "[bleep] that, find me on venmo!" [cheers and applause] can you imagine any other president acting like this? obama was never like, "hope and change.

and when i say change, i mean empty your pockets!" donald trump needs to understand that you do not get paid by extorting your friends. [laughs] you get paid by reminding them to buy your book. [cheers and applause] "hello friends: stories of dating, destiny, and day jobs" available in bookstores, online, and on audible. thank you so much! [cheers and applause] work. but money isn't the only thing on trump's mind. he's also got that trial for paying off a porn star. so all rise for another edition of "america's most tremendously wanted." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> the whole thing is a scam. >> dulce: for the past few days,

the court has been struggling to find impartial jurors and they finally found 12 magical new yorkers with no conflicts, or biases, or dogs to take care of. but this morning, things started getting off to a rocky start. >> some breaking news to tell you about this morning in the trump trial. one of the seated jurors has been excused. >> this oncology nurse, this woman, came into the courtroom today, and told the judge that she wanted to be dismissed because she was feeling that she wasn't going to be fair and impartial. she basically told the court that aspects of my identity have already been out there in the public. yesterday alone, i had friends, colleagues, and family push things to my phone, questioning my identity as a juror. and essentially, because of that, the judge sort of reminded everyone that this needs to be an anonymous jury. that members of the media and elsewhere really cannot get into very detailed things about descriptions of these people. >> dulce: he's talking about

you! you're the media! this reporter put her entire linkedin page on the screen, and then was like "people in the media need to stop doing this!" you're the media! the call is coming from inside the newsroom! that reporter gave fewer details than anybody! look at how they described this juror on other news channels, "anonymously." >> juror number two is a nurse. >> a young black woman. she's an oncology nurse at memorial sloan-kettering. >> a native new yorker. >> who lives upper east side. >> an oncology nurse who loves dogs. >> likes to walk her dog in the park. >> she lives with her fiance. >> she is not married, has no kids, and lives with her fiance who works in finance. >> dulce: yeah, i would have found this lady on facebook in five seconds. it's 2024. that's enough information to track down anybody! i once found a guy based on the shape of a cloud in the background of his ig story.

this is just so irresponsible! the media's basically out here playing "guess who?" with this jury. they're like, "we can report juror number 3 is a bald redhead with no facial hair." "oh, you talking about herman!" y'all know herman! [cheers and applause] for more on privacy concerns on the trump jury, we turn to troy iwata, live outside the courthouse. [cheers and applause] troy, i feel so bad for these poor jurors. they didn't sign up to get doxxed. >> i know, dulce, it's terrible! we in the media, we have got to do a better job of protecting jurors like stephanie. >> dulce: troy, did you just say her name? >> oh, shit. juror number 3. sorry. sorry, stephanie, i mean juror number 3.

[laughs] she's going to be so mad. it's bad enough she has to commute all the way from 125th street. >> dulce: troy, don't tell people where she lives! >> oh, that's no big deal. there's lots of stephanies with brown hair and green eyes live on 125th street and riverside. so we are fine. >> dulce: stop adding more information! oh, my god, okay, let's just move on. who are some of these new jurors? and don't give me any personal details! >> no personal details, total anonymity. here is one of the new ones. all i'll say is that he's male, he's italian-american, he works at a bakery, the bakery is called gino's bakery, and he's the owner of gino's bakery. >> dulce: troy! now i know he's gino! >> no, no, no. gino is his father, the original owner. >> dulce: oh, okay, good!

>> he is named after his father, though. >> dulce: please, just move on. who else did they pick? >> well, they did select another male. and out of respect for his privacy, all i'm going to say is he is male. >> dulce: but you put this man's picture up! >> yes, but we responsibly censored him. >> dulce: it says "mcgillicutty family vacation" on the t-shirt! >> oh, shit. you're right. let's censor that. there! [cheers and applause] fixed it! it's totally private now. >> dulce: just forget the whole thing. just tell me what happened at the trial today. >> well, the defendant, whose name we're restricting for

privacy reasons, he was very agitated. very agitated today. >> dulce: troy, honey, we know the defendant is donald trump, he's not the one we need to keep secret. >> better safe than sorry! anyway, the defendant was angry all day and at one point the defendant told the jury, "watch your backs, stephanie, charles, susan, jamal, and gino." whoever those people are. [laughter and applause] >> dulce: damn it, troy. troy iwata, everyone. [cheers and applause] when we come back, we find out how to stop paying your taxes! don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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by exporting a complex tax system, the richest 1% pay a lot less than the average taxpayer. but how do they do it?" i learned there are tricks to help out the everyday taxpayer like you and i? i spoke to tac expert robert would to find out the easiest ways to dodge the irs. his first tip? >> real estate. big tax shelter, so generally speaking, you write off a piece of the building every year. >> so, like, this year, i will clean the bathroom. and then the next year -- >> just to clarify, you only get to do this if you own the building. not if you work here. >> that is all very interesting, but i do not own the building. so. back to square one. >> charity is another one. >> so let's say i started charity, and my charity will be real. very real. okay? my charity of broke ass audits. you get audited, let's break off your broke ass a little cash. >> there are lots of people who've gotten in trouble with

fake charities. >> so that won't work. >> churches are qualified charities. which is why some people have tried to start their own churches. >> so if i start my own church, how many followers are we talking? >> i don't think they call them followers. but i don't know. >> that's right. that is a cult thing. we go another thing that wealthy people do, you've got art. how much is it worth? donate it to charity, and if you donate it, how much can you fairly right off? >> i have some artwork that i want to show you. and don't hold back. >> okay. no offense, but it looks kind of infantile. my guess it is not work very much. you need to talk to somebody who is a qualified art to praise or. >> i was really banking on the arts thing working out. >> it is not there yet. >> this is not looking good for my tax return, but there had to be something. >> one of my great tax planning secrets for you today is dying. if you own stock, or if you

owned a house at some point, hang onto it. it is the doing something with it, selling, that triggers tax. then, when you die, it is never taxed. so dying turns out to be tax efficient. that is something that wealthy people count on. >> that is differing. couldn't i just defer until i die? >> yeah. >> okay, so, kill myself. great advice. >> i don't want you to die -- i want you to die generations from now. >> thank you. >> it's a better tax deal anyway. >> i do have a quick question for you. since the rich are deferring on all these assets and the hiring tax lawyers to make sure it stays complicated and they are less likely to get audited couple who is paying tax? >> regular wage earners. everybody pays tax if they've got income, and to wealthy people, they are paying tax too but if you look at their income versus how much tax they are paying, they are typically paying a lot lower rates.

>> so if we all learn the tax law and we all start doing these things, how will roads get built? >> good question. somebody at the lower end has to be paying the regular taxes to make room for the government to do those things. >> just don't be poor. >> yeah. >> that's -- that's terrifying. >> the more you know about tax, the more terrifying it can be. it's why i don't sleep very much. >> and i become rich or just die, at least i know how to avoid my taxes like a millionaire. >> i do actually need your help picking this up. this is like all the money i have. >> i am not taking any of it. >> no, i didn't think you are going to take it. >> dulce: thank you, josh. when we come back, brittney spencer will be joining me on the show, so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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do you guys think we come here too much? ♪ your cousin from boston ♪ summer ale! octoberfest! winter lager! cold snap! nah! it's sam season [cheers and applause] >> dulce: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a country singer-songwriter whose debut album is called "my stupid life." please welcome brittney spencer! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ come on, sis! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> oh, my gosh, hello. >> dulce: okay! hello!

>> hello! >> dulce: first of all, hi, titties. >> hello. >> dulce: hello. you had yours out, i thought mine could be out a little bit. they were like, okay, we got to keep it tv host, but i want mine out a little bit too. >> tits make you feel powerful. >> dulce: they do make you feel powerful! it's like, hello, good morning. i was so excited you are here. your debut album, "my stupid life," came out earlier this year. what do you want to tell people about your album? you as an artist, what inspired you? tell them everything so they can buy it, put it at the top of the billboard charts, we get you grammys and stuff. >> oh, my gosh. well, first, thank you so much for having me. this is my first time on nighttime television talking and stuff. [cheers and applause] thank you. >> dulce: really? >> yeah, i haven't done a debut on nighttime television yet so this is my first one. >> dulce: i'm so excited! >> that is my stupid life, you know. i think with this album, i want people to know that i love music. i love country music. it taught me how to tell a story, it taught me how to connect with my own story, and this album is a sonic spectrum.

i love country music and i also love pop, i love rock, and i love r&b. i just wish good was a genre sometime. i like to thread a lot of things together but it's all kind of held together by how i interpret country music and the storytelling tradition that it is. >> dulce: i grew up in georgia. i grew up in the south so we always heard country music. we always saw black people in country music. but not everybody saw black people in country music. you describe your music as universal country. what does that mean? >> it means i want to have a little something for everybody. i think that's why my album is the way it is. there is not one single song that sounds like another and i kind of like it that way. that is kind of how i listen to music. i feel like there's so many country artists before me that have accomplished that, whether you talk about dolly or shania, i think that is really cool. having something that everyone can connect with in your discography, i think that is

really cool. that is what i want to do. i want to have fun. i love country music. i am also black. i'm also -- i'm from baltimore. my grandparents are from the south that my family moved to baltimore and that is a really eclectic mix anyway. it's the home of "hairspray," billie holiday, and toni braxton. that is an eclectic mix. and "the wire." so that is a lot of things. >> dulce: a lot going on! [applause] >> and i'm a reflection of that. so i know i'm not the only one. when i meet people who are kind of like me and they like music, often times they are like, yo, i listen to this genre and a genre and they have a playlist and there's about ten different genres. that's how i hear music too and all those artists all like each other and listen to each other anyway. i think, i don't know, i think we cage people in a little too much sometimes. but i don't want to be. >> dulce: now i know we cannot talk to you without mentioning the fact that you were on beyonce's cover of "blackbird." >> yes! [cheers and applause] that was fun.

that was really fun. >> dulce: i did want to get to know you but i know everyone was in here, "ask about beyonce." >> i would too. this is cute, but also. >> dulce: i just want to know, brittney, what brittney did, but also, want to talk about beyonce. by law, i have to ask about beyonce. i'm so sorry, it's a law that's been passed recently. >> you don't make the rules. i get it. >> dulce: black twitter laws have something to do with it. how did she you find you? i know i found you but i listen to different kinds of music. how did she find you? did she call you? did you think it was a prank call? so how did she find you? >> i have no idea. >> dulce: cool, cool, cool, cool. >> i have no idea. i'm not just saying it. i literally don't know. i have so many questions. i already had questions in my head because beyonce is the big sister and my head and i be asking her questions sometimes. but now i actually have questions. i don't actually know. i think that is so cool. i am so happy to be on the record. it's a beautiful record. even if i wasn't on it, i would just be mad into it.

this is a no skips, start to finish, if it had 20 more songs, i would listen to the whole thing over and over again. i don't know. it's a fun time, to be able to be a part of that record, and be here talking to y'all and being able to sing the songs i love. [cheers and applause] to be with my second favorite band of all time, you know, this is really cool. >> dulce: well, i am so happy that you came. and i want to go to one of your shows. please invite me! >> you are always invited. >> dulce: i'll be bringing a bunch of people with me, black people. >> dulce: give it up for brittney spencer, everybody! >> thank you! [cheers and applause] >> dulce: "my stupid life" is available now and for tour dates, check out brittneyspencer.com. we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back

after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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i got to say, i thought i would see more homeless situation here. i thought i would see a little more chaos on the streets then what -- from what i have been told. and i didn't see as much as i thought i would. ♪ i'm goin' down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ goin' down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor!" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪

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