hey, listen, you ever been on a motorcycle? aw. michael, that was fun. that was fun. next round of drinks is on me, people. [cheering] ♪ claude van damme ♪ ♪ hair for men ♪ ♪ poison gas ♪ ♪ nutrasweet ♪ it's gotta rhyme with "piece." fancy feast! ♪ break me off a piece of that fancy feast ♪ ♪ it's a cat food. nailed it. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, dulce sloan! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

>> dulce: hello, friends! welcome to "the daily show!" i'm dulce sloan! [cheers and applause] we've got so much to talk about tonight. everybody's trying to get out of the trump trial. jordan klepper is at the courthouse. and john leguizamo will tell politicians how to round up latinos -- oh, but not like that! no, no, not like that. but first, let's get right into our ongoing coverage of "america's most tremendously wanted." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> the whole thing is a scam. >> dulce: before we get into trump's trial, let's be clear about which trial this is. is it the classified documents trial? no. the january 6th trial? no. the georgia rico trial?

no. the sexual assault defamation trial? no! the real estate fraud trial? no! it's the porn star, hush money, sex love music trial. this dude treats criminal charges like pokemon. he's trying to catch them all! now, to be clear, trump is not on trial for sleeping with a porn star or paying her hush money. he's on trial because he allegedly falsified business documents to cover up the hush money, which could be construed as an unreported campaign expense. phew. this is the most complicated plot a porn star has ever been involved in. [laughter and applause] so these last two days, they've been trying to pick jurors. and so far they've chosen six, but it's been a lot harder than

they expected. >> the first batch of 96 potential jurors was whittled down to just about a third by the end of monday. this morning, several more were dismissed, one because she had a scheduling conflict. another wasn't feeling well. >> a juror had a wedding to get to. >> another individual said that they're concerned about their dog and was promptly dismissed because, like the other 65 million american households that own dogs, frankly it is, of course, going to be on somebody's forefront of the mind. >> dulce: so -- so wait, people who think about their dogs too much get dismissed? a jury with no white people? [laughter and cheering] how is that fair to trump? just have them bring the dogs to court. i see you bringing them damn dogs to every restaurant i go

to, anyway! never stopped you before. now, it's hard enough finding jurors who have the time to serve. but the real challenge is finding jurors who never said anything bad about trump. >> part of the day was spent examining prospective jurors' old social media posts about trump while the former president looked on. one juror was dismissed for having posted, "lock him up" and another for sharing an ai video in which trump appeared to say "i'm dumb as [bleep]." trump seemed to scowl at a 2016 meme showing photos of him and barack obama with the caption, "i don't think this is what they meant by orange is the new black." [laughter and applause] >> dulce: damn! yo! this court is roasting donald trump! i thought this was a courthouse, not a high school cafeteria! he's got to be thinking,

"i thought my dick was on trial, not my self-esteem!" wouldn't it be funny if this is the first time trump found out people think he's orange? he's like, "hold on, you're telling me my skin is not a natural color? you're telling me your sheets don't look like fruit by the foot?" crazy. but if you think the jurors were trying to get out of this trial, that's nothing compared to the excuses trump was coming up with. >> speaking outside the courtroom yesterday, trump criticized the judge overseeing the case for not ruling on his request to pause the trial next month so he can attend his son's high school graduation ceremony. >> it looks like the judges aren't going to allow me to escape this scam. it's a scam trial. >> trump returned to the issue later in the day, writing on truth social, "who will explain for me to my wonderful son barron that his dad will likely not be allowed to attend his graduation ceremony." >> dulce: you want someone to explain to your son for you why

you can't be at his graduation? pick me! pick me! pick me! pick me! [cheers and applause] no problem! i'll do it! [cheers and applause] hi, barron, it's your auntie dulce. bad news, bubba. daddy can't come to your graduation because he banged a porn star. now there was one person who actually wanted to be at trump's trial for some reason. the person who wanted to be there was jordan klepper. ♪ ♪ >> donald trump's criminal hush money trial started yesterday, but a few days before

that, he had a message to his followers. >> 72 hours until all hell breaks loose. >> that kind of rhetoric is really incendiary and dangerous. >> so i went down to the new york county criminal court to rescue the carnage for myself. donald trump said, all hell is going to break loose. are you going to go apeshit today? >> not going to go apeshit today. >> i want to see how it plays out. >> going to slow walk apeshit. >> slow walk at. >> trump supporters are calm, peaceful protesters. >> yes, they would never rush into a federal building and try to disrupt. >> donald trump would never advocate for that. >> outside the january 6th thing. yesterday the january 6th of april 15th? >> i was there january 6th. i was there. >> where were you? inside the rotunda? were you in the office, holding a podium? >> it was breached before we got there. >> is that what you were here early to make sure you get the first wave?

>> well, i have done pretty —-dash go back and watch "america's most wanted." i've made a grand appearance and somebody said we got what we deserve. >> god bless. do you think the crowd will remain peaceful? >> i do. >> are you letting him down not coming with your a game? where are your horns? >> i brought my a-game. >> you brought a scarf, needle points. >> handmade, man. >> you guys picked a qanon shaman? >> that guy is so articulate and smart. >> talking about the guy with the horns? >> he can smell shit a mile away. >> is that where the qanon is so good at smelling shit because he was so close to where people were inside the capital? >> while there were more press then there was maga supporters, i did run into b list start rudy giuliani's son. >> i was with president trump on january 6. our member him talking about peacefully protesting. >> some people were talking about peaceful protests.

some people were talking about trial by combat. >> let's have trial by combat! >> do you know anyone who was talking about that? >> i would say that peaceful protest is the most important thing -- >> no trial by combat today. >> do you guys even care what is going on inside the courtroom? >> of course i care about what's going on inside the courtroom. but establishment basic facts about the case. do you think donald trump had sex with stormy daniels? >> no, he is with melania. >> he's a one-woman man. >> he probably hasn't been but women have thrown themselves at trump for the almighty dollar, all those hoes. >> three and half years to go after trump with all those stupid trials. why are they waiting until now? >> is it possible because b12 consistently delayed the trial? >> while trump complains about liberal bias, seemed the most qualified jurors were outside the courthouse. >> [bleep]! >> do you think you can be an unbiased juror? >> do you have any feelings or opinions about how mr. trump is

being treated? >> i absolutely do. what are those feelings? >> i have feelings that if you commit a crime, then you should go to trial. >> great. so you support this trial? >> no, because it's not a trial. >> than i'm sorry, there's no room for you on this jury. >> apparently, it was a venue itself that presented the most biased. >> trump cannot get a fair trial in the 90 plus percent democrat city like new york city. >> where can trump get a fair trial? >> in the midwest, in ohio, and florida. >> he's on trial in florida. he is on trial in georgia. will you accept the result of those trials? >> no. >> the maga sphere is ready for accountability, just not anywhere on this planet. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> dulce: jordan klepper, everybody. [cheers and applause] when we come back, john leguizamo will be here. so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

break up with your old wings, and... ♪ get a new honey... ♪ ...lemon pepper wing from popeyes. crispy. saucy. available. popeyes finally has wings in 6 flavors. ♪ love that chicken from popeyes ♪ [cheers and applause] >> dulce: welcome back to "the daily show." we all know i've got great opinions, but i'm not the only one. studies show that other people

also have opinions! so here with another installment of "in my opinion" is our good friend, john leguizamo. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> yo, yo, what's up, what's up? i'm john leguizamo, and i'm back, and i'm more fired up than ever. that's right! because this election season, everybody wants the coveted latino vote. and a lot of you may not know this, but... i'm latino. whew! i'm glad i got that off my chest. now, so 36 million latinos will be eligible to vote this november. we are the fastest growing population in america. that's right. fastest growing. you know what that means... we be [bleep]. we be [bleep]. [cheers and applause]

to the side, to the top. i'm sorry, dulce. and since our vote is so crucial, abuelo joe is working overtime. >> the biden campaign is spending $30 million. that's on top of $25 million they have spent on spanish, spanglish, and english ads that targeted latino voters. >> he met with a group of latino voters at a mexican restaurant >> well, you know, i need you. i need you badly. i need the help. kamala and i desperately need your help. >> oh, biden. you need me badly? right here? right now? but we're married men, it wouldn't be right! rawr. [cheers and applause] but yo, i got to say, i'm impressed. biden is dropping over

$50 million on us, people! [cheers and applause] come on the last time a white man spent that much on latinos, ben affleck was buying an engagement ring. [audience reacts] [applause] j to the lo. so if biden is spending millions to get the latino vote, i wonder what trump's doing to keep up. >> the trump campaign, they've really just sort of recycled a campaign ad from from 2020. >> yo voy a votar por donald trump. >> what the hell was that? why does he dance like he's jerking off an invisible salsa band? [applause] i mean, clearly, trump isn't making any effort to get latino voters or

make them a priority. but the thing that hurts the most is that his lazy-ass strategy is actually working. >> a recent "new york times"/siena college poll shows former president trump gaining ground among latino voters. >> the preference among latino voters, i think, is at 46%, donald trump. 40%, joe biden. >> excuse me for a second, please. [speaking spanish] i am sorry. where was i? oh, yeah, right. [exhales] it looks like the democrats are in trouble. and you might be thinking, how is this possible? donald trump is winning latinos? "build the wall" donald trump? "mass deportations" donald trump? guy who thinks "daddy yankee" is a baseball player donald trump?

but the truth is, in 2024, latino voters have something else on their minds. >> the number one issue for latino voters is inflation and the economy, like it is for so many voters. >> 54% of latinos ranked inflation and the rising cost of living as one of their top three issues and that outranks even healthcare, crime, immigration. >> that's right. for latinos, this election is all about inflation! and that makes sense! inflation is bad right now. they're going to have to change the name of the game show to "the price is [bleep] what now?" and if your top concern is high prices, i get why you might lean trump. people associate him with lower prices, even though he sells $400 sneakers that look like my cousin's papo's teeth. the problem is, when it comes to fixing inflation, this

cuchifrito-looking mother[bleep] ain't got shit. >> if elected president again, what is the first thing you would do to help bring down the cost to make things more affordable? >> drill, baby, drill. >> is your answer to getting inflation down, drill, drill, drill, independent oil? >> well, among other things, it's drill, drill, drill, yes. >> what else? >> it's drill, drill, drill. >> what's your answer to getting inflation down? >> there is no else. you have to get the oil. >> you heard it here first, mi brothers: trump's one and only plan to fix inflation is to drill for oil. but guess what: president biden is already drilling more oil than anyone in history. more than trump did when he was president! now, you know, maybe trump has discovered some new special drilling technique that no one else knows about -- maybe he drills the oil real hard for 30 seconds, and then makes it sign an nda.

[audience reacts] just saying. [cheers and applause] but otherwise, drilling for oil clearly ain't the answer. okay? except trump told us himself, he doesn't have any other answers. in fact, trump's plan to slap extreme tariffs on china will make inflation much worse. yeah, trump wants to pick another fight with china. probably just jealous because they actually built their wall. so you really believe trump can fix inflation? look, i'm here to tell you, hell madre[bleep] no! [cheers and applause] here's what you can count on, though. no matter what trump says about inflation, he doesn't like us, and he doesn't want us here. and you know how i know? because he stopped deep-throating burgers long enough to admit it out loud.

>> "the new york times" reports that he made some comments about immigration. he said, quote, "why can't we allow people to come in from nice countries, you know, like denmark and switzerland?" >> donald, stop beating around the bush! "we want nice people. swiss people. ski instructors. wes anderson fans." just say white people! and yeah, of course trump likes countries where everyone looks like ivanka. but i've got bad news for you, donald: they don't want to [bleep] you either! [cheers and applause] so, to my fellow latinos y latinas, i know you think trump is your guy on inflation. but let's be smart about it. okay? because if joe biden wants to win, he really does need us badly. but when you consider the alternative, we may need him,

too. because if trump wins, the only happy latinos will be the salsa band he's jerking off. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ make me go loco, loco ♪ ♪ make me go loco, papi ♪ ( ♪♪ ) ♪ make me go loco, papi ♪ ( ♪♪ ) come seek the royal caribbean. ♪ go loco, loco ♪

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remember space? and legroom? (♪♪) that's more like it. the three-row lexus tx. (♪♪) [bacon sizzles] [bacon sizzles] ♪ [electronic music plays] ♪ [bacon sizzles] ♪ [electronic music plays] ♪ woo! [cheers and applause] >> dulce: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is the co-creator, writer, and star of the nbc sitcom, "lopez vs. lopez." please welcome mayan lopez! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

>> oh, my gosh! >> dulce: hey, girl, hey! >> hey, baby! >> dulce: hello! now just to start, because this did recently air. >> yes. >> dulce: for those of you who don't know, not to brag, but we have both been guest judges on "rupaul's drag race"! [cheers and applause] yes! and i did have to bring this up because i am a daughter of the house of colby, thank you very much. [cheers and applause] >> oh, yes. >> dulce: but what was the experience like? how was mother? >> mother was everything you want her to be. and more. >> dulce: yes! >> i always joke that now i'm working with my father so i can work with mother. >> dulce: true, true. >> it was really one of the best days of my life. i joke that only the birth of my first child is going to beat that day for me because that

show has just meant so much to me and the strength of drag queens and to be part of that community and to support them like they have always supported me, and the platform that they need right now in that community. [cheers and applause] >> dulce: not only do you star in "lopez vs. lopez," you are the cocreator, writer, and executive producer. [cheers and applause] what is it like establishing your own voice in comedy with a hit network sitcom? >> it is incredibly special to me. even having john right here, being a latina on a network television show, to be able to represent telling stories that are personal to me, but also personal to my community, and to be able to have fun and really do what i have always wanted to do. i studied at second city doing improv and sketch, and to find my own voice and also do it with my dad who i

always looked up to and we're able to work together in this way, and to make people laugh, and we have such an incredible cast and i feel like we are also making up for lost time. it is really wonderful. to be able to tell the stories that we are able to tell. we are just having fun. this season, the episodes that are airing, we have ten incredible episodes. we have cheech and chong, so to be able to have these latino legends on the show is also amplifying the platform and being able to do what we do and have incredible, supportive cast. [cheers and applause] >> dulce: amazing. now, be honest, if you had your druthers, and you were able to recast your daddy, who would it be? is it, like, a john leguizamo? pedro pascal? who would you -- if, god forbid, you were given the choice to recast that man, who would you pick? >> oh, that is a good question. >> dulce: i know, girl!

>> at first i thought in life or on tv? the same person. [laughter] oh, gosh. you know, i would have to say, you know, why not -- i was thinking john actually, john leguizamo. but you know what, pedro pascal and i have the same birthday. so i feel like -- isn't that a great fun fact? thank you, famous birthdays. [laughter] >> dulce: that would be amazing. >> it would be like, papa! [laughter] >> dulce: you could have a papi and me birthday! >> yes! >> dulce: that is amazing. thank you so much, mayan! new episodes of "lopez vs. lopez" air tuesday on nbc and you can stream episodes on peacock and netflix. mayan lopez! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ we are going to take a quick break but we'll be right back after this! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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