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tv   The Daily Show With Trevor Noah  Comedy Central  April 7, 2021 1:16am-2:00am PDT

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winners are the people i put in my bracket: everyone who tried hard and had fun. i lost $50,000. ( bleep ). anyway, coming up on tonight's show, florida is inventing new natural disasters, why the internet is about to get slightly less stupid, and why vaccine passports could be your ticket... to nazi germany. plus, the one and only morgan freeman is joining us on the show. so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> announcer: from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off in florida-- the place that answers the question, what it all the stuff that didn't make it in a hot dog became a state? florida regularly faces its share of disasters: rising sea levels, hurricanes, rampant sleeve robbery.
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and now, it's looking at toxic floods. >> we're going to turn now to florida, where tonight there is a frantic effort to prevent a catastrophic flood from a wastewater pond near tampa. hundreds have been evacuated, crews are pumping out millions of gallons of toxic water to relieve pressure at the toxic pond. >> the piney point reservoir at an old phosphate plant is surrounded by radioactive material. >> a collapse could send a 20-foot wall of waste water into nearby areas. that's why 30 million gallons of the contaminated water are being pumped every 24 hours into tampa bay and other waterways raising fears it could kill fish and wildlife. some 300 homes and a nearby prison already under evacuation orders. >> trevor: sweet jesus. florida could get hit by a 20-foot wall of toxic water surrounded by radioactive material?! you know what this means, right? if this thing breaks, it's going to create a race of mutant
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florida people. now, you might be thinking, "wait, trevor, i thought radioactive flood was florida's origin story." but no, this is a new threat from a toxic waste pond, which raises a big question: isn't it weird that america just dumps its toxic waste in a pond and calls it a day? i mean, it's never a great sign when your solution to a problem sounds like a problem. ( guy 1 ) "we have a lot of toxic waste to get rid of. you know what i'm thinking?" ( guy 2 ) "toxic waste pond?" ( guy 1 ) "toxic waste pond." and a big part of this problem isn't just that the water is toxic, but that the walls that are keeping the water in are radioactive. and if the water goes over that wall, it will take the radiation with it. and i know hindsight is 50/50, but how did they not realize what a terrible design that was? i mean, it's like building a lion cage out of guns. yeah, it might keep the lions in
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for a while, but if they get if they get out, now those lions are strapped. moving on to business news. according to a new report, more than 50 major u.s. corporations paid zero federal taxes last year. and now janet yellen, u.s treasury secretary and retired hogwarts professor, has a plan for making them pay up. >> today, janet yellen, in her first major speech as treasury secretary, called for a global corporate tax rate that would stop countries from trying to compete by lowering corporate tax rates to try to attract new business. >> we're working with g-20 nations to agree to a global minimum corporate tax rate that can stop the race to the bottom. together, we can use the global minimum tax to make sure the global economy thrives based on a more level playing field. >> trevor: now, this is a great
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idea, because guys, let's be real. corporations shouldn't be able to move to a different country just to avoid higher tax rates. they should move to a different country to avoid going to prison for all those children they got killed. i mean, it's wild that corporations can be incredibly profitable but not pay into the societies that support them. it's like if mark zuckerberg still lived at his parents' house and didn't pay rent. you're a billionary, my man! at least chip in for cable! and what makes the system more frustrating is how little corporations have to do to claim that they're located in another country for tax purposes. (i.r.s.) "and do you have any proof that your company really operates out of the cayman islands?" ( guy ) "uh, i have this seashell." (i.r.s.) "okay, i get it! no need to bury us in all this paperwork. i get it. put the shell away. i get it." so i'm glad they're trying to force corporations to pay their fair share. but this is only going to work if you get all the countries to agree to it.
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it's like bars in a college town-- if there's one of them not checking i.d.s, that's where the party's at. honestly, i don't even know if getting all the countries on earth is even enough. i mean, why do you think elon musk and jeff bezos want to get to mars so bad? it's not to advance human knowledge. they just want to set up a p.o. box, baby. and, finally, let's pour out a 40-gigabyte bottle for an old internet friend who is soon to be no more. >> it's the end of an era. "yahoo answers" announced it will be shutting down on may 4. users won't be able to post any new questions or answers after april 20. the move ends the 16-year reign of one of the internet's longest running question-and- answer sites. the company says the site has become less popular over the years as its members' needs have changed. >> trevor: oh, no! now where will we go to get life-or-death medical advice from anonymous strangers? i mean, this was the spot! but, yes, if you don't know
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about "yahoo answers," it's the site where the world's dumbest people seek answers to even dumber questions, like: "do you think humans will ever be able to walk on the sun?" or, "does spider have puss-puss?" and people will say "yahoo answers" was a wasteland. the questions were all so stupid. but that's exactly what made it so valuable, because no matter what you searched online, whether it was "what happens if i swallowed an airpod," or "how to tie a tie when hand is stuck in toaster," you knew that at least one other person had already asked it on "yahoo answers," and you felt a little less alone. by the way, the airpod comes out in the your poop. answers" has been replaced by has been replaced by more-effective services. to truly be successful in this day and age, you also have to radicalize people into white
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supremacy. that's how you make it in tech. i still remember where i was the day "ask jeeves" was assassinated. ( bleep ) al qaeda, man. but let's move on to our main story: the coronavirus vaccine. it's the reason pfizer has groupies now. as more and more people get vaccinated, it's going to be safer for all sorts of places to open up again. but the question is how will businesses know which of their customers actually have been vaccinated? well, one possibility that's come up is a whole different kind of v-card. >> beyond those vaccine record cards people get when they receive their shots, there has been talk about carrying vaccine passports. >> vaccine passports, proof of vaccinations to get into concerts, sporting events, or even travel. with no national standard, states, companies, and healthcare providers are now coming up with their own
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options, new york state releasing excelsior pass for people to upload digital vaccine information and covid test results. while overseas, many european countries-- japan, israel, and global airlines-- are pushing their own vaccine passports hoping to jump-start tourism. >> trevor: yes, welcome to the world of vaccine passports, which i think are a great and simple way to show you're immune from corona. i mean, i've just been going around yelling that i've been shot. and you'd think people would relax knowing i've been vaccinated, but they always seem to freak out. people are weird. people have become weird. am i right? not to mention, this can help give businesses peace of mind. american businesses want to know that the customers legally carrying assault rifles into their stores aren't going to sneeze on anyone. and, by the way, this isn't an actual passport, which is good, because my passport photos always end up looking like this. i don't know why you take the
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picture while i'm sneezing. also, why am i always sneezing? it's proof of a vaccination, which may sound like a novel idea, but it's really nothing new. >> i like the idea of the passport in terms of identifying people. we do it all the time. you can't go to college without being vaccinated from meningococcus. you can't go to the mecca on hajj unless you've been vaccinated for the same bacteria. so we've used this in a zillion different places. >> when i registered my kids for camp, i have to go get proof of their vaccination. when they go back to school, i have to show proof of their vaccination-- not for covid, because they're not old enough, but for all the other things they get vaccinated for. i've traveled to many, many countries where you have to have a yellow card showing that you've been vaccinated for yellow fever. so none of this stuff is new. >> trevor: that's right. people already have to prove they've been vaccinated for a ton of reasons. travelers have to be vaccinated to get into many countries,
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kindergarteners have to get their cootie shot before they go to school. and college students can't enroll until they've been vaccinated, because the last thing college students want is a meningitis breakout ruining their gonorrhea breakout. but just like most things in america, vaccine passports aren't without controversy. in fact, republican governors in texas and florida have already banned businesses in their state from requiring one. and the very idea of vaccine passports has fox news so freaked out, they've started standing up for the undocumented. >> the idea of a vaccine passport is un-american. it's likely unconstitutional. >> this vaccine passport, it's just another way to control the american people. it's absolutely wrong. it's antithetical to freedom. it's antithetical to the american way. >> a nightmare; orwellian; infrastructure of control; an unprecedented, undemocratic power grab. it's wholly illegal. it's like saying we'll let private industry discriminate against americans based on their
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biological characteristics, which is exactly what nazi germany did. it's soy ironic to me that china brought this to the world, and western countries are acting like china, forcing people to do things to have control of all aspects of their lives. >> i am not overstating this. i can't say it forcefully enough. this is, literally, the end of human liberty in the west. >> trevor: okay, first of all, this is not the end of human liberty in the west. that happened in 2001, when they shut down napster: oh, so i can't own your song just because i never "paid for it." that's some bullshit, man. i also wonder if anybody has ever said, "i am not overstating this," and then not completely overstated something. like, has anyone ever said, "i am not overstating this: ham is made from pigs." and, look, they can say this is nazi germany, but nobody is forcing you to get a vaccine
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passport. like, if you don't want one, don't get one. you'll just have to pay a coyote to sneak you into dunkin' donuts. honestly, i really want to know what fox news is going to do when there's an actual existential crisis, like a real one. because everything for fox news is a crisis, everything. dr. seuss is a crisis, vaccination cards are a crisis. if america's ever invaded, fox is gonna be like, "yo, this is like that time they got rid of mr. potato head's penis!" now, look, just because fox news is being dramatic, doesn't mean that there aren't some legitimate concerns around a vaccine passport, especially if that passport ends up being a smartphone app. >> i think if we're going to look at passports, we also have to look at equity with those passports. fred, not everybody has a smartphone. i have lots of patients with flip phones, with those burner phones, where they get certain amount of minutes, and it's done. and those patients, those people can't have these apps. so we need to find a solution that works for everybody. there's also got to be some kind of paperwork, some other way of doing this.
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some ideas that have been floated out there, like the little bracelets that you get when you go to disney, where you scan through everything. what if you get those to people? but we need to really think about how to do this equitably so that everybody who has a vaccine can have some record of having had a vaccine. >> trevor: that's right, not everybody has a smartphone, so vaccine passports can't just be an app. but paper vaccine passports could have all kinds of issues, too. they can be forged. they can get lost. a girl could trick you into writing your phone number on it, and now she's vaccinated, which is why we need to think outside the box. if you want an easy way for people to prove they're vaccinated, just leave the needle in. or if that's impractical because it's a "health hazard," then just make the passport a t-shirt. yeah, it's perfect for a night out at the bar, or the opera-- whatever! the point is however we do vaccine passports, we need to make sure they're accessible to
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everyone who wants it. otherwise it's not fair. and if we don't do vaccine passports, we need to come up with an easy way of identifying who didn't get the vaccine. like, i don't know, maybe a hat. all right, when we come back, director garrett bradley will discuss her new documentary about a woman trying to spring her husband out of jail. stick around. the lexus es, now available with all-wheel drive. this rain is bananas. lease the 2021 es 250 all-wheel drive for $339 a month for 39 months. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. frito-lay variety packs presents all-wheel drive for $339 a month for 39 months. totally unrealistic never going to happen in a million years mom fantasies mother, thank you for planning such an enriching camping trip for us. please accept this as a token of our appreciation.
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daily social distancing show." earlier today, i spoke with garrett bradley. she's the director of the new oscar-nominated documentary "time," about one woman's fight to free her husband from a 60-year prison sentence. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> time is when you look at pictures of when your babies were small, and then you look at them, and you see that they have mustaches and beards. and that the biggest hope that you had was that before they turned into men, they would have a chance to be with their father. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> trevor: garrett bradley, welcome to "the daily soc distancing show." >> thanks so much for having me here, man. i really appreciate it. >> trevor: you have been on quite the journey with your
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film. i mean, you're one of america's most documented and celebrated film makers. you have a specific style and a touch when you create a documentary. people feel through the message that you create in your films. and your new documentary film "time," is no different, from winning you best director at sundance, to getting you nominated at the oscars. which would make you, if you won, the first black woman ever to win an oscar for directing. it's a truly powerful story that i think crosses all boundaries of age and time and love and prison and punishment and forgiveness, et cetera. let's go to the inception of the idea-- "time." a story of civil fox richardson, a woman who is just trying to be reunited with her husband. take me through the story and why you thought this would make a documentary that people should watch. >> you know, to be honest with you, i wasn't-- i wasn't, like, going after a specific story.
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i made a short film called "alone," which is a 13-minute op-doc, and there was a real absence in talking about incarceration from a woman's point of view, from a family's point of view, from the point of view of the human experience. and i met fox in the process of making that film. i actually called this organization called "flick," friend and family of louisiana's in-carerated children" and gina womack, the cofounder and director of that program picked up and said you have to speak to fox. and fox is in the short film and makes a connection between prison and the industrial slavery complex. and we developed a natural relationship. when "alone" came out in the world, it only further illuminated the absence of images and experiences that people could understand that were around, again, the effects of incarceration. >> trevor: what really struck me with this film is it didn't follow the narrative i thought
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it would. you know, so many other stories i watch these days are generally about people who are wrongly incarcerated or people who got framed, or something happened. but this was an interesting story that i feel is a lot more nuanced, because you take us through the journey of a couple who resorted to robbery. they were going through tough times, but they did commit a crime. and then, cybil, who we see in the film, is sentenced to three years in prison. her husband, meanwhile, is sentenced to 60 years in prison. and that's an interesting subject to follow because for one thing i've learned in america-- and there are many countries in the world who follow that idea-- they go, "well, if you committa crime you get punished and we punish you as much as possible." here it feels like you're not trying to get over the fact that people committed the crime, you're asking viewers to ask ourselves what the intent of the punishment should be? why did you want that framing? why did you want to question that? >> yeah, that's exactly right. i mean, i think, you know,
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people can look at anything from a political perspective, you know. but i think that when you are forced to understand things from a human perspective, from a perspective that requires imagination-- meaning one has to imagine themselves in a situation beyond one which they are already in-- it becomes very obvious to me that the system needs to change and that the value-- you know, if we think about human life having value, then-- and actually, you know, i was speaking with somebody this morning, and they made this really poignant connection to the pandemic, and that we've a experienced one year, right, of solitude, and one year of real change, and not being with those we love. so if someone can imagine six decades of that, a sentence of six decades of that, is it worth it? you know, how do we really value each other as human beings? and how do we think about the structure by which society is built, you know, almost globally as one that now needs to be
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based in forgiveness, based in the reality of humanity, you know. that's the future, i hope. and i think that, you know, i'm entering this conversation from that human perspective because i am a human, and that is how i connected with it, you know. >> trevor: yeah, there's no denying, when you-- when you look at criminal justice, that one of the biggest things you have to hope for, if you are ever ensnared within the criminal justice system, is you have to pray and hope that the person who is sentencing you, sees some potential in you as a human being because then that could determine whether or not you have a second chance. what makes this documentary particularly gripping is you're not just telling a story. you're showing us the story. we get to live the life of a woman who is waiting decades for her husband to come home to be a father. and what's really interesting is you have this footage-- something that you would never normally have. she was basically documenting her life, and you put this all
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together and then created the story around it. i mean, that must have been a gold mine for you, discovering a subject where they'd been filming themselves for decades. >> yeah, it was a gold mine. i mean, i think-- i think i want to be totally honest with you. having shot this film without any awareness of its existence until our last day of filming, you know, i'll never forget, i said to fox, "i'll be back in a few months and i'll share a cut with you." and she handed me this little black bag that ended up being 100 hours of her own -- >> wow! >> so in that moment, it's like your worst nightmare and it's your dream come true ( laughs ) at the same time. and i think that, you know, you don't-- even though you understand in that moment that-- that the structure, right, the length of it is likely going to change. i knew right away, it's probably not going to be a 13-minute documentary anymore. >> trevor: right. >> so we knew those things were going to change, we knew those things were going to be
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required. but the reason for why i wanted to make the film, the reason by which myself and fox and the family agreed to come together in an effort to make this was not going to change. and i feel like that is really important, especially when you're making documentaries, when you don't really have-- you know, it's a real honoring of the present moment. it almost becomes unethical to try to anticipate an ending, to try to control anything. so the thing that is guiding you is your intention. your intention is the thing that tells you what to shoot and how to shoot it. and i don't think that changes, even in the edit. >> trevor: this is not your first documentary film about love and prison. and i wonder if you choose this particularly because it's such a difficult subject, or if you feel that it's a subject that isn't understood enough. because oftentimes, you know, as society we're conditioned to believe once a person is a prisoner or imprisoned, they are no longer a human and ostracized from society. that is their punishment. but you make films that make us see them as human beings who
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have ever made a mistake or have committed a crime willingly and willfully, but we are still forced to see them as human beings. why are you trying to do that? like, what are you trying to invoke in us, as the viewers watching a movie like this? are you trying to make us feel sad? are you trying to make us rethink prison as a concept? because it is a complicated thing to observe as a viewer. >> i mean, i think film making is, at its heart, the purpose of it is for human beings to better understand themselves, for us to understand ourselves, for to us understand the world that we're living in. it's kind of as simple as that. and, you know, of course all these other layers have grown since its inception, but it's still a relatively young medium. and i think the spirit of that is part of what drew me to it at a young age. you know, i-- i was curious. i've always been a curious person. i've always been really interested in people.
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and it's-- it's a tool for being tiable to do that-- empathy and being able to understand each other is fundamentally what motivates everything that i do. and it's an integral part of making films, you know. >> trevor: it's something that i feel like you master time and time again. and just seeing this story being told i think will touch everybody. congratulations on your victories thus far. and good luck for the oscars. i hope you take it. and i hope you make history in the process. thank you so much for joining us on the show. >> thank you, trevor. appreciate it, man. >> trevor: appreciate you. "time" is available now on amazon prime. all right, when we come back, the legendary morgan freeman will be joining me on the show. will be joining me on the show. so don't go away.
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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily social distancing show." earlier today, i spoke with academy award-winning actor and activist morgan freeman. we talked about why he's advocating for the covid vaccine in a new p.s.a. by the creative coalition. >> i'm morgan freeman. i'm not a doctor, put i trust science. and i'm told that for some reason, people trust me. so here i am to say i trust science, and i got the vaccine. if you trust me, you'll get the vaccine. in math it's called the distributed property. in people, it's called taking care of one another. get the vaccine. help make our world a safe place for us to enjoy ourselves again. please.
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>> trevor: mr. morgan freeman, welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> thank you so much! >> trevor: today was one of those days when a name trend on twitter and people were sent into a frenzy. now, i'm sure you know this, but whenever a name trends on twitter, especially when it's a famous name, people think one of two things has happened: the person had died or the person wishes they had died. today, morgan freeman was trend, but thank goodness it was neither of two. in fact, you're trying to stop people from dying. >> i truly, absolutely. no, i'm not dying, and i'm not-- i'm not even thinking about dying or wishing anything having to do with dying. the only wishes i have is that those people who are refusing to take these dag-gun shots realize this is one of the things we really have to do. i don't understand, to tell you the truth, anyone who has some
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issues with the idea of being vaccinated against this... scourge. you know, the facts are in. we know that all those dead people are dead, and why they're dead. you know, they didn't get hit by trucks or anything. this pandemic. so i would recommend-- i recommend highly go get the freaking shots! but if you don't, it's strictly up to you. except that now i have to avoid you-- and i will, of course. i still wear a mask. and i social distancing-- so they say down to three feet. all right. ( laughs ) i'll do my part. and i don't know. everybody, including the butler,
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are encouraging, or trying to encourage people to do what their-- it's not an instruction. it's just a suggestion that they're making. >> trevor: it's a suggestion for people's well-being. you know what i enjoyed about your p.s.a. is you come out acknowledging the obvious. you say, "i'm not a doctor." you go, like, "i'm not a doctor and i know a lot of people don't trust right now, but a lot of people trust me." and it's interesting that you say that because, you know, as morgan freeman, you don't just lend your voice to things. you're someone who people have come to trust and know as a genuine human being. and so i wonder-- i wonder if you have an idea, when looking through the hesitancy towards the vaccine, why you think there's such a big gap between the older generation getting it-- because, as i'm seeing, older people are generally more inclined to get the vaccine-- and younger people are like, "i don't know about this." >> it may have been a mistake in
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the early stages of this, because they've cautioned all of the older people that you are much more susceptible to this than younger people might be. so younger people may just take that and, you know, run to the woods with it. "i'm good! i don't have to worry about it!" and it's getting younger and younger into people-- because, you know, we're still thinking, oh, it's over now. it's not over y'all. it's not over. >> trevor: right, right. when morgan freeman is trying to convince people to do something that is in their best interests, i mean, it feels like we're in a weird place in society. because you know, we talk about this pandemic. we talk about the long-term effects, that people don't seem to realize enough of. yes, there are the people who die, and it's tragic. but a lot of people are going to have long-term effects from covid, whether it's decreased lung capacity, whether it's issues with their organs. there are so many of these things. what does it tell you about the world when we need to get morgan
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freeman to convince people to do something that is good for themselves? >> it's a mistake. i don't think morgan freeman can convince anybody to do anything. people who have decided that their best interest is in taking the vaccination, that's a decision they make. i don't think anybody of any supposed note has to go out of their way to try and convince them. i heard yesterday people saying that, well, there are a lot of black people who just don't trust it because of the tuskegee experiment. horse pucky. i don't believe that. that's ridiculous. this is a whole new world, a whole new society, a whole new group of people. and this thing here is for real. it's not something somebody made up to test to see how we'd react to it. you know what i'm saying?
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>> trevor: what do i say to the people who now go, "morgan freeman, you have joined this secret elite group who want to put microchips in the people?" do you ever worry about that? everything has become politicized. morgan freeman is not politicized. do you ever worry about that or do you go, "hey, man. i'm going to speak my piece and you do with it whatever you want." >> that's it. say my piece, keep my feet above the ground. you do what you got to do and i'll do what i got to do. and i suppose one of the things i have to do is say to you, those, get the shot. help protect me ( laughs ) >> trevor: get the shot. help protect morgan freeman. i feel like that will convince people. get shot. help protect morgan freeman. before i let you go, what do you plan to do when the world opens up again? i mean, everybody's been locked down. you know, you used to travel the world, whether it was for your movies or just for life. what does morgan freeman plan to do when the world opens up
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again? >> go to work, for one thing, and eat out for the other. >> trevor: eat out. >> i eat twice a day, and she cooks every meal just about. and she'd like a little rest, a little break. ( laughs ) >> trevor: i think everybody would, sir. thank you for the time. thank you for the message. and, yeah, maybe the people will be convinced. and maybe they won't. either way, we'll get the vaccine and then we'll see what happens from there. thank you so much, mr. morgan freeman. >> thank you, man, bless you. take care. >> trevor: be sure to check out the p.s.a. at thecreativecoalition.org/vaccin. okay, we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. hat's our show r
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tonight. but before we go, i want to remind you to please consider supporting an organization called "teens for food justice." an organization that is helping at-risk students throughout new york build and maintain hydroponic farms, allowing them to grow thousands of pounds of produce each year for their communities. by supporting "teens for food justice," you are helping youth-led farms ensure a sustainable, equitable food system and eradicate food insecurity. if you are able, go to the link below to donate what you can.
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until tomorrow, stay safe out there, wear a mask, and if you've been waiting for an answer on "yahoo answers," let me answer it for you: yes, you should probably go see a doctor. now, here it is, your moment of zen. >> marijuana-themed license plates are being auctioned off in colorado. there are over one dozen official state license plates to bid on. they include phrases like "bong," "ganja" and "hemp." >> i didn't know a lot about cannabis. i didn't know it had its own official holiday. i don't know if i want to be around that tree. ( laughter ) what do you do? i don't know if i want to be around that tree, cannabis tree. i don't know a lot about can bass. >> you have some explaining to do.
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